Like Mother, Like Daughter

There comes a point in almost every adult life where we have the realization that, for better or for worse, we may be turning into our parents.

You know the signs. You start to have the same facial expressions, hairline, and walk. The same phrases your parents said suddenly escape your mouth. Your closets start to look oddly similar. You’re starting not to throw anything away, even that old shoebox or Christmas cookie tin. All conversations revolve around kids and grandkids. I’m sure if I were to go around and ask, there would be other stories or tell-tale signs that you are becoming like your parent or grandparent. Like mother, like daughter. Like father, like son.

But what about the disciples? What did it mean for them to become like Jesus? In today’s text, Jesus has risen and is nearing his ascension. The disciples are trying to figure things out but just seem confused by all of Jesus’ familial language between himself as the Son and God the Father. He says in 14:7, “If you know me, you will know my Father also.” But Philip says “Lord, show us the Father and we will be satisfied.” Just show us already.

Jesus doesn’t understand how after all this time, they still don’t know him. In 14:9 Jesus says “whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” In 14:10 he says “Believe me, that I am in the Father, and the Father is in me.” In other words, the Father and I are one. If you know me. If you see me. If you obey me, then you know and see and love the Father. There’s no space between. There’s no degree of separation. This is the language of unity and abiding.

Then at the beginning of our passage today Jesus says “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” How was Jesus saying this I wonder? Was it like a finger-wagging with gritted teeth in your face type of “if you love me, you will do what I say.” I grew up with a sign that said “In this house, we will serve the Lord.” The Lord may have been our rock and foundation, but I learned quickly that mom ruled the roost. The sign should have said “in this house, we say yes ma’am or get our mouths washed out with soap.”

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Is this merely a means of proving our discipleship? How is anyone supposed to love Jesus and keep Jesus’ commandments without Jesus anywhere in sight? None of this made sense. I can hear the disciples thinking “You’ve been with us this whole time.You died. You rose from the dead and we were all amazed and and now you’re leaving us? What!?! How are we supposed to carry on?”

Almost as if anticipating their thoughts, Jesus said that the Father would send an Advocate to be with them forever. The word here for advocate is known as paraclete. It is the term we use for the Holy Spirit. But the word is so broad in its meaning that one translation alone can’t capture it. The NIV says Counselor. The CEB says Companion. The NASB says Helper. The Message says Friend. The KJV says Comforter.

Jesus is saying “if you love me, you will keep my commandments.” But how will you keep my commandments? Not of your own strength but through the power and strength of the One who will stand up for you, advise you, accompany you, befriend you, love you, and tell you the truth.

How will you recognize this Advocate? You will know because he abides with you and will be in you.

The language of abiding is the language of relationship. It is personal and intentional and authentic. It reminds me of Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda, this beautiful love poem that says “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams.”

You see, I don’t see Jesus being stern here. I don’t see this as a finger-pointing sort of conversation. I see such tenderness when Jesus speaks to the fears of the disciples being alone, saying “I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you.” Disciples who lost their teacher during this time were considered orphans. Jesus is saying I am not leaving you without a teacher, without a comforter, without a companion.” Maybe for some of us, that is the word you need this morning. You need to come and simply hear Jesus say to you “I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you.”

I will abide with you. Though you may not see me, I will abide. Though you can’t reach out and touch me, I will abide. Though you won’t hear my voice anymore, I will abide. I will not leave you orphaned. In and through the power of the Holy Spirit. I will abide. I am in my Father. You are in me. I am in you. I will abide. You are not alone.

What does it mean for something to abide? When Jesus was telling them he was going to leave, the disciples were reeling wanting to know what was going to be left? What is going to stick or to stay with us? When all is said and done, what remains?

Today is Mother’s Day as you know. And while it is not a religious holiday, it is a day in which we celebrate our Mothers. Maybe we celebrate our biological moms or grandmothers or other women who took us and mothered us as their own. Maybe it is a day that is hard because we miss these special people in our lives. Maybe it is hard because we longed to be a mom but never quite had the chance.

And so on this day, we look together at women who have meant so much to us and we ask ourselves what has abided in our lives because of these individuals? What has remained?

My mom became an orphan by the age of 16, and so I never got the chance to meet my maternal grandparents face-to-face. But even so, I have met their laughter and love of cooking through my mom and their love of storytelling through my aunt. Essentially, I have met their love through my mom because when all is said and done, love has remained.

Jesus says at the end of our passage today, “they who have my commandments and keep them are they who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.”

Did you hear that? Jesus reveals himself to us in love. And we reveal Jesus to one another when we love. Victor Hugh of Les Mis says “to love another person is to see the face of God.”

Recently I attended the funeral of Liz Cumming’s grandmother Cherry Wheeler. Similar to my maternal grandparents, I never got to personally meet Mrs. Cherry, but Liz’s eulogy revealed her that gave me a beautiful glimpse of this magnificent woman.

Towards the end of her eulogy, Liz said

“Her present to us was her presence. An undivided devotion to us all. Her husband, children, and grandchildren were her pride and joy, and she loved not only us but everything and everyone we loved as well. I wanted to be her when I grew up, and what I now understand is that it wasn’t the things she filled her life with that I wanted. It was how well and intentional she was at loving her family and friends through adoration and service. She poured everything she had into each one of us. She saw us as our best potential and lead us through love and example. She was the joy, the comfort, and the soft-landing spot for all of us. “

Jesus reveals himself to us in love, and we reveal Jesus in our love of one another. In and through the Spirit, love abides. Liz wanted to grow to become like her Gran because she wanted to grow into that kind of larger-than-life love.

I don’t know who your best role model is, that person you long to be like. Maybe it is your mom, your grandmother, or another special person in your life. I hope today you will reach out to that person and thank them for the love they have shared and made known to you.

But I hope that in and through the power of the Spirit we may be filled with the love of God and be made more and more into the image of love. That we act in love, speak in love, and move in love in such a way that people want to know more. That when all is said and done, we find that love abides.