An Excellent Wife

The Excellent Wife Benefits her husband and her household, and she is a Godly woman.

Introduction

Do you all remember the Cosby show and family matters? These were sitcoms back in the 90s that were overall known as wholesome family shows where they had the mother being a wise loving mother who took care of the home and whatever other work she had to do whether she worked a job or not and she held things together. The husband was seen as a successful honorable man in the community who made sure to spend time with his family and take care of them preparing them for life.

Well, there was another show that was in the 90s that showed the opposite of that, it was called Married with Children. This was a comedic sitcom where the Father's name was Al Bundy and he was an ex-football player who lives an unhappy life as a shoe salesman, where it appeared that his best days were behind him. Al’s wife was a woman named Peggy Bundy who was a lazy self-indulgent wife.

In fact, she refused to work, cook or clean the house. Whenever Al makes any money Peg spends it all on shopping sprees. Pegg also often placed herself in inappropriate places with and positions with men that were not her husband showing she was not chaste.

Well as you can tell this show was about a dysfunctional family where the wife was not a woman of excellence and the husband did not do well.

Today we are going to look at the opposite. We are going to be looking at what a virtuous woman or a woman of excellence is.

The Big Idea is - that an excellent woman benefits those around her and she is a Godly woman.

Our Text will be coming from Proverbs 31:10-31

Our Take Aways are

An excellent wife is a benefit to her husband and her household.

An excellent woman works diligently.

An excellent woman is a woman of God.

Before we move into the text I want to address who this passage is for. This passage is believed to be written by King Lemuel, however, the words of wisdom in this passage were told to him by his mother. This was told to him so he could find an excellent woman as a wife.

This passage is not just for men to know what to look for in a potential wife, although it is for that, it is also for Mothers and fathers to teach their daughters how to be women of excellence, its for single women to know what it looks like to be women of excellence as they serve the Lord, its for women who are teaching other women in how to live and how to lead other women to live. This text is for the entire body of Christ.

As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, 16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

So as we go into this text we will want to go into it looking at not just how this can apply to others. But how does this apply to me in my life?

We will go to the main text Proverbs 31:10

10 Who can find a virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above rubies.

So here the word virtuous is actually valiant in the sense of all forms of excellence. Let's go to Ruth 3:11 to look a little more at finding an excellent wife.

Here it says, 11 And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman.

So here we see that a woman of excellence is findable, we can identify her by her actions. Just as the people in the town that Ruth was in saw that she was a woman of excellence. Now we will move to Proverbs 19:14, here it says,

14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,

But a prudent wife is from the LORD.

This also lets us know that this virtuous wife is from the Lord. So for us fellas, if you have found one of these or have one, or aspire to have an excellent wife. Make sure to treat her like she is from the Lord. There is a passage for husbands in how we treat our wives.

1 Peter 3:7 says,

7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Back to the text.

Proverbs 31:11, Says

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

This means that a husband will not have to worry about the conduct, competency, or chastity of his wife. The excellent wife can handle the affairs of the home and he trusts that she can because she has shown it. She is wise in her conduct, and speech and has good sense. He can trust that she is a faithful wife and that she is not sexually immoral, he trusts her.

He will have no lack of gain because he can go about his affairs of business and his responsibilities outside of the house without worrying if everything is going to be ok.

I am going to share an example of this with you all. There were a few times in my marriage with my wife when I had to travel quite a bit for work. At one point I was traveling all over the country being gone for 10 days at a time and returning for 4 days. I was able to fully do my job because I knew my wife could and would hold it down.

Now I did that for about a year and that was very hard on my wife. So for you husbands and potential future husbands, this does not mean taking advantage of the fact that your wife can manage the home to be absentee and unhelpful in the home.

Now everyone and a while I will have to be absent for work and I have trust in my wife that she’s got it handled.

Back to the passage, Proverbs 31:12,

12 She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

Here we see that the virtuous wife has a positive impact on the life of her husband and not a negative one. Unlike Al Bundy’s wife, the excellent wife is a blessing to the house, not a curse.

Proverbs 14:1 Expounds on this a bit more where it says,

The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.

This passage not only shows us that the virtuous woman builds up her home but it also lets us know what a bad wife does and why to avoid getting one of those. A bad wife tears her own home down!

So going back to verse 12 we see that she does him good all of the days of her life. This includes if she survives him. This is because she still benefits him through the care of his children, estate, and reputation, as well as his concerns that were left behind.

We will move back to the text.

Proverbs 31:13-14

13 She seeks wool and flax,

And willingly works with her hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

She brings her food from afar.

This passage shows that the excellent wife is industrious and provides for her house. She uses quality things for her home and works with her hands. She also brings things into the house that are beneficial, necessary, and convenient.

The virtuous woman is also efficient and does not go doing things aimlessly. How she goes about it is seen in the merchant ship. Merchant ships have a set path to gather goods and return them to their home base.

A contrast to this would be the behavior of the young widows in 1 Timothy 5:13, they show what an excellent woman should not do.

Here it says,

13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.

So here we see that the excellent woman instead of being Idle is busy taking care of her affairs and the affairs of her house, she shows wisdom in her conduct and speech.

So we may say what about the unmarried person? What does it look like to be unmarried, how can this be applied to single people since they do not have a spouse to focus their cares on?

Well, the unmarried person is to devote themselves fully to the lord with the same vigor as they would to their spouse, just as an excellent wife devotes herself to her husband and the Lord. The unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord and they use the same skills they would to build up the household to build up the body of Christ.

1 Corinthians 7:34-35 expounds on this a bit more, here it says,

34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

We will move back to the main text, Proverbs 31:15

15 She also rises while it is yet night,

And provides food for her household,

And a portion for her maidservants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

From her profits she plants a vineyard.

Here we see that the virtuous woman is one who works diligently in her home making sure that it is taken care of. She also works wisely and diligently outside of the home using the gain to benefit her home.

Proverbs 31:17

17 She girds herself with strength,

And strengthens her arms.

Here we see that the excellent woman takes care of herself and makes sure that she is strong enough to do what is needed. In looking at this we may want to ask ourselves, How are we training our children, or ourselves to be strong enough to do what is needed? The strength I’m talking about is both physical and spiritual.

Proverbs 31:18- 20

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her hand holds the spindle.

20 She extends her hand to the poor,

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

So here we see that the excellent woman is not just internally focused, being just focused on herself and her house. But she also helps others who are in need. This is what we all should be doing as believers, this is true religion in action as shown in James 1:27

Where it says,

27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

Back to our text, Proverbs 31:21-23

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

22 She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

So looking at verse 23 we see that an excellent wife contributes largely to the success of her husband and her household. Here when it is talking about her husband being known in the gates when he sits among the elders it is showing that he has accomplishments and that he is in a respected position. The excellent wife makes it possible for the husband to be elevated in this way.

I am going to give you guys an example from my life. Since I have been married I have had many accomplishments. This is not to boast but to glorify the lord in it and show the truth of the Word. Since being married, I have started several businesses, graduated with a master's degree, been called to ministry and served in the church, taken on a vocational youth ministry role, and started seminary. If I did not have the kind of wife that I have I would not be able to achieve so much. I would be too worried that everything would fall apart if I focused on those things, however, I can trust in my wife and because of this, I am able to achieve more.

Back to the text, Proverbs 31:24-27

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

And supplies sashes for the merchants.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;

She shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She watches over the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Here we see again that the excellent woman is a capable teacher and is well acquainted with wisdom. She is not lazy or idle, but instead, she looks after her household and works diligently to make sure that it is well.

Proverbs 28-30

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many daughters have done well,

But you excel them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

An excellent wife is more than just beauty, she is a woman of God.

V 31,

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Take Aways

An excellent wife is a benefit to her husband and her household. This is what every wife is to strive for.

An excellent woman works diligently. We all are to work diligently.

An excellent woman is a woman of God. Serving God is to be our priority.