Double Drama

Children are a gift from the Lord.

Children are great sources of joy, peace, strength, hope, faith, discipline… the list goes on and on.

But there is a side to children that few parents talk about:

Children are also ruthlessly honest.

If you want to know the truth about a situation: Talk to the child.

Bella is brutal in her honesty towards Kim and myself.

As the old saying goes, a saying based on the Psalm:

“Out of the mouths of babes”.

And what we mean by this expression is that children will almost always speak the truth, no matter how brutal, how damning, no matter how embarrassing: A child will simply speak the truth.

But then as we get older this brutal transparency of thought becomes more and more clouded.

As we grow up and mature we become more and more aware of The W.S.H.E

The Worldly System of Human Evaluation: In simple terms: We start caring more about the opinions of others than we do the truth.

When this happens we are moments away from making life, which is already filled with challenge, significantly more difficult.

How?

Because, like so so many, we will chose to live a double life.

What is a double life?

The biblical word for this is Hypocrisy.

In Greek it literally means “One who wears a mask”, its the same Greek word as “actor”.

An actor is one person who wears the mask and pretends to be a different person.

Children are so wonderful because they don't wear any masks.

They don't pretend to be anything or anyone else.

Matthew 18:1–4 NASB 2020

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 And He called a child to Himself and set him among them, 3 and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 So whoever will humble himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

I am convinced by the literature that the reason children laugh 800% more than adults laugh is because children live in a single reality.

This is so ironic in so many ways!

Children are known for their active imaginations. They play intricate games of make believe and pretend.

Yet, unlike adults: Children recognize that these games are just pretend and when the game is over: All the peaces go back in the box.

Most adults have almost zero imagination, yet they choose to live, not just play, but actually live in a pretend world.

Children live in reality but play in imagination.

Adults live in imagination and play in reality.

This imaginary life we live does not replace reality, it adds to it.

But why live a fake life?

Galatians 1:10 NASB 2020

10 For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

The answer is simple: Because we fear man.

Or to put it more accurately: We fear mans judgment.

Or to put it even more plainly: We are embarrassed of our reality and do not want people to judge or evaluate us based on reality so we put on a mask and pretend we are “better” than we are so we will be more highly esteemed.

This kind of hypocrisy is not motivated by malice, but by insecuritie.

Here is the problem:

You cannot maintain the facade forever. To live a double life means literally that you have to live 2 complete lives at the same time.

You have to live the life of the real you which is exhausting on its own, but then you also have to live this other life which requires energy and effort to maintain.

Did you know that a 2022 poll indicated that 70% of people are not just tired but exhausted!

This from the 30% in the same type of poll from 1990.

How can we be more exhausted now than we were 30 years ago? Has not the advancements in technology made things easier?

Well yes, by and large technology has made many everyday tasks both easier and quicker.

So why are we more exhausted?

Because as technology has improved, the world has become smaller, and we no longer live in tribes or local communities anymore: We now live on the world stage.

And this pressure has created an entire generation of people who live double lives.

NB:

Double lives require: double energy and effort and double financial resources.

Double lives also have: Double the drama, the problems and double trials.

I can this with perfect confidence:

If you stop pretending you will, overnight receive twice as much energy to invest and improve your life, you relationships will flourish and you will have basically twice as much money to now spend, not in 2 lives, but in just the 1!

Chances are extremely high that right now many of you are overextending yourselves to maintain this double life.

2 Corinthians 10:13–14 NASB 2020

13 But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure of the domain which God assigned to us as a measure, to reach even as far as you. 14 For we are not overextending ourselves, as if we did not reach to you, for we were the first to come even as far as you in the gospel of Christ;

Tired vs Exhausted

Allow me to share some truth with you.

There is a difference between being tired and exhausted.

Tiredness is a state.

If you do not sleep you will be tired. If you do not eat you will be tired. If you do not rest you will be tired.

But here is a question: How many of you have ever woken up exhausted?

Have you thought about how impossible that is?

If you had a decent supper and got 6-7 hours of sleep - there is no way you can wake up tired - BUT YOU CAN wake up exhausted.

Why?

Because tiredness is a physiological state Of your body.

Exhaustion is an emotional response of your mind to a situation.

If you are tired: Have a good meal and a nap and you will be fine.

If you are exhausted: All the naps, boosters and caffeine in the world will not help you.

Why?

Because you exhaustion is not a lack of energy, your exhaustion is an enotional response to your current life situation that is trying to tell you something!

What is it trying to tell you?

That the required effort you need to put in is not worth that which you get out.

Have you ever seen an incoming call and feel exhausted when you see the name? Why? Because the effort of the conversation is not worth the outcome.

Listen:

If you wake up exhausted: The effort of trying to maintain the facade of this pretend life is NOT worth it!!

How to take off the mask and live transparently:

First:

Being authentic and transparent does NOT mean that you tell all people all things.

You tell some people all things, some people some things, and some people nothing.

You tell your spouse ALL things.

You tell your close friends and family MOST things.

You tell your regular friends and perhaps colleges SOME things.

You tell your enemies NOTHING.

Transparency does not mean that your life is an open book to everyone, nor does it mean that you cannot have personal “secrets”.

Proverbs 11:13 NASB 2020

13 One who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, But one who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

Transparency does not mean you have no private life, it just means that you dont pretend.

Also:

Do not confuse transparency with commonality.

Commonality means “Shared by the masses”.

It’s opposite is distinguished.

Commonality is not a virtue.

Yes “common” people are transparent, but their transparency is not born of honesty, its more a byproduct of them “giving up”.

The christian is transparent because its through transparency that we can grow and mature and learn.

Commonality is transparent so they have an excuse not to try.

This has nothing to do with a persons social class at all.

I know many people are are clearly in the upper class social bracket, yet who have no class.

And i know many people who are solidly in the lower class social bracket that have exemplary class.

Class, when in the context of commonality then is about ambition not ability.

1 Corinthians 9:24–27 NASB 2020

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. 25 Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. So they do it to obtain a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 Therefore I run in such a way as not to run aimlessly; I box in such a way, as to avoid hitting air; 27 but I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

Notice that God says that we must run the race with integrity and honesty, BUT we must still run with the ambition to win.

A hypocrite cannot win because they pretend like theyve already won.

Commonality cannot win because it does not even try.

Only authentic Christian’s can win because their honesty and transparency makes it easy for them to be helped and encouraged as they run.

Conclusion:

Jesus is the truth and the prince of peace.

Satan is the accuser and the Father of lies.

When you live in the truth, the prince of peace brings peace.

When you live a lie, the father of lies brings accusations.