Josh Gyer - Memorial Service

Introductions

— Good morning, my name is Jeff Pagel, I am the Pastor at First Baptist Church in Sunnyside, Washington.

— My wife Jill and I have been connected to this blended family long before it was a family.

— Only 8 months or so ago things were very different than they are today.

— Yes, it was very hot that day. No, the church was not air conditioned.

— We weren’t that sure, that Payton was going to be able to walk up those four steps to the landing… shaking like a leaf, clinging to Josh.

--But when it was time… Josh calmed her enough to make her Mrs. Payton Gyer.

— But go back a year before that… Lisa, Josh’s stepmom called me one day and said. “Would you be available to marry Josh and Payton?”

— I said something like… “He’s only 9, since when do 9 year olds get married and do I need to call social services? So we laughed a bit... then it was a reality.

Marriage Counseling

— Josh and Payton were going to get married, no they weren’t 9 years old but 20 and 21 years old.

— During our counseling times I asked this question in 15 different ways… hoping to get a different answer. They didn’t want to wait to get married. They wanted to be married NOW… And now we understand why...

— Josh especially was resolute. He said, several times, “I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want her to be my wife.

— What he didn’t nor did we know that his life would be short… very short

— Payton too, was steady, steady as Payton gets. Josh was going to be her husband. They were going to be Joshua and Payton Gyer.

— As we talked through married life, weekly over a couple of months I became very comfortable with the idea of Josh and Payton marrying.

— Josh was much, much more of a man than many men that I know. Let me say that again

— Josh was much more of a man than many men that I know.

Gyer Man

— Regardless of age… Josh had a deep foundation. One given by Norm’s example.

— Steadfast, always ready, always available, a deep commitment to those they loved.

— An individual foundation in knowing who Jesus was, what is was to walk alongside Jesus.

— This connection was built and nurtured while greasy up to their elbows working on a transmission or pulling an engine or figuring out why they had an extra screw when it was all put together.

— Did you ever here… “This is an inter-galatic emergency?” or “My eyeballs could have been sucked from my sockets!”

NOPE.

— Both of them… Steady as you go, I can see Norm kinda doing this… and Josh right alongside him… figuring out the issue and finding a place for that one extra screw.

— We need the Josh and Norm Gyer’s in our lives.

— Both Josh and Norm were laying down patterns that would establish and continue the Gyer Name another generation. Norm was leaving, if you will, a legacy in his son.

— That legacy, would not have a lifetime to build. This was not how it was supposed be. A short 21 years, a man with his son.

— Many of you here knew Josh, far better than I did. I hope that my reflections of his life describe the Josh you knew.

Josh and Payton - Married

— Josh married the love of his life, Payton. What a great choice.

— Many of the lessons that Josh learned from Norm, about life and about marriage were evident in Josh from that very first time I met with them.

— I described marriage is a precious thing, especially in our society today.

— How important it was to the family to remain committed to your lifelong partner.

— Josh understood a whole lot about life and he knew that he and Payton were together… “To infinity and beyond.”

— During the times that we spent together. We laid out, that first month, that first year together.

— Josh and Payton both spoke about plans, dreams, ideas, thoughts. Of course there was a trip to Disneyland, a move, children at some point… but always a deep connection that Josh shared with Payton.

— It was the glance, the eye contact, it was the reaching out to touch and hold a hand. It a deep connection.

— Sometimes that connection between the two was playful. Buzz Lightyear and his antics came up several times.

Josh’s Death

— So how did we get here, to this place, in these circumstances, these events.

— What went wrong in the cosmic atmosphere that we are here today?

— Many of us have been asking these questions and many more.

— It started with a 3AM call just a short time ago.

— It was the call that no family ever wants to get. It was the deep, ache, the deep pain when we realized that yes, this was real. Josh was gone…

— Parents, grandparents, siblings, friends were all thrown into this whirlwind that we have been experiencing over the last couple of weeks.

— All of us here and many others who aren’t were beginning the process called GRIEF!

Josh’s eternity

— If by some miracle… Josh could return, right here, right now, just for a brief time, he would have some important things to say.

— You say that Josh was kinda quiet… yes he was. But when he talked we should all certainly listen.

I think these are some of the things he might say...

— Payton, I love you. I’m sorry that I left you even before we really got started.

— I am experiencing in a very real way what it is to be a follower of Jesus.

— I have seen this beautiful, wonderful, life fulfilling, legacy making place. Come join me.

-- I am with him… I am walking, yes literally walking beside Jesus, Grandma, Grandpa and all those people of faith… followers of Jesus that have died before me.

— I have all of the answers to all of the Sunday School questions every thought of. Get this… Josh is seeing, real-time, Jesus.

— I now know, for sure, there is a God, there is a Jesus, he came to earth so that we can model who He was.

— How did Jesus love us… by teaching, by healing, by pushing, by prodding, by moving us towards him.

— Josh’s deepest desire, after seeing what he is experiencing he wants us all to have that relationship that connection with God.

What’s Next

— What’s next? How do we wake up tomorrow? There is hole the size of a universe in our hearts.

— That hole is currently sucking every bit of oxygen available out of our lungs.

— For some they have cried a river of tears. For many it is a back and forth kinda thing. An acknowledgement that yes, Josh is gone! but HOW CAN HE BE GONE.

— Don’t bury this in your heart… find some way to express it.

— If you get stuck… and some of us will get stuck in our grief, in our sadness and pain.

— DON’T STAY STUCK. Find someone you trust to help you walk back to a place of health and healing.

— Find a set of 3AM friends… the one’s you call when your world is falling apart

— That may be your pastor. We have a couple of fine men today that can walk those halls with you. Fred Fey, here at Neighborhood Church and John Stolz from Olympic View Baptist.

— See a healthcare provider, see a mental health provider, join a Griefshare group.

— Don’t leave yourself in that place longer than necessary… but we will always remember.

Express love the way Josh would want us to

How about expressing our love for Josh in the way the Josh would’ve wanted us to.

— Find someone who you fills all of your empty spots. Find someone that completes you.

— Dedicate your mind, soul and spirit to knowing that person. Dedicate the rest of your life to meeting and knowing Jesus.

— Find a “Norm,” find someone, who you can come alongside, learn from, pattern your life after.

— Don’t make the forever mistakes. forever is a long time.

— Keep your side of the street clean. There are going to ups and downs, growth and regression in our lives.

— Keep steady, stay steady. Always know that your motives are clean and pure. Honor those around you.

AND FINALLY… Josh would say

— I am here, in Heaven, waiting for you. I don’t want you to morn the loss to long.

— But remember the good times, the fun, the greasy motors, the starters that don’t start. Remember the extra screw after the project is done.

Remember me… don’t forget.

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Thank you Fred for sharing your pulpit with me today. It was a true honor, to be here,