My Picture Perfect Family

Intro

Opening Story/Illustration - (“Picture Perfect” Movie)

Isn’t this the way we are sometimes? We think our lives and our families must be this perfect picture.

But what does that even mean? And who made up these rules anyway?

Well, you may say, God - He has this ideal picture of what family is supposed to be and that’s what we are striving for. I’m not so sure.

When I look at scripture I see that God uses us and works in us even though we don’t have it all together.

What if, as author Reggie Joiner puts it - God doesn’t use perfect pictures, he uses broken people?

What if God doesn’t have a perfect picture he's comparing your family to - what if instead, he’s writing an incredible story of his grace and his power through your family?

We do a lot of comparing ourselves to others and their “perfect pictures” The problems is, the photo never tells the whole story.

Here’s a picture of my daughter - My wife loves getting pictures taken and I am not as fond of it, but I do it a few times a year because I love her, but unfortunately for my wife, we had a daughter who is like me and sometimes doesn’t enjoy having her picture taken. You see this picture and you see all the cuteness. But the photo doesn’t tell the whole story - What you don’t know is that this one picture probably took 30-45mins, a whole lot of crying, and me going from “it’s going to be ok just smile” to “If you don’t smile you’re going in time out” and everything in between just to get this one picture.

The picture never tells the whole story. I think God is far more interested in your messy story than your perfect picture.

Biblical Background - God has this amazing ability to take our messy stories and use them to do something incredible.

Here’s a great question - What would Jesus’ family look like if we could get them all together and take a family photo? Surely if there’s a picture perfect family, this is it.

The closest thing we have to a family photo are the genealogies that the writer’s of the gospels provide us with.

So this morning I want to take a moment and flip through Jesus’ family photo album so-to-speak.

And I want us to stop and take a look at a few of the characters in his family. If you have a Bible, I want you to turn to Matthew Chapter 1.

Biblical Content - Matthew 1:1-6

Matthew 1:1–6 NLT

1 This is a record of the ancestors of Jesus the Messiah, a descendant of David and of Abraham: 2 Abraham was the father of Isaac. Isaac was the father of Jacob. Jacob was the father of Judah and his brothers. 3 Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah (whose mother was Tamar). Perez was the father of Hezron. Hezron was the father of Ram. 4 Ram was the father of Amminadab. Amminadab was the father of Nahshon. Nahshon was the father of Salmon. 5 Salmon was the father of Boaz (whose mother was Rahab). Boaz was the father of Obed (whose mother was Ruth). Obed was the father of Jesse. 6 Jesse was the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon (whose mother was Bathsheba, the widow of Uriah).

Bridge - This morning here’s what I hope you can walk away - Relax. Stop trying to paint a perfect picture and start letting God use your story. And realize that the family of God - The church, is not a place for perfect people, but a place where broken people come and let God tell a wonderful story of grace through their brokenness.

This morning I want to look at the 4 women mentioned in this genealogy.

Matthew did not have to include them, in fact, the women that he includes here point to stories that you might want to hide if you were trying to paint a perfect picture.

There are a lot of theories as to why he chose to include them. We may never know the full reason, but for our sake, we just need to remember that He chose to include them even though he did not have to.

Points

Tamar - God includes her despite her family drama (Matthew 1:3)

We can read her story in Genesis 38

There was a man named Judah who had 3 sons. He arranges for his oldest son (Er) to marry Tamar

Er, it says was a wicked man - So God kills him

During this time there was no Social security or insurance. So When Tamar’s husband, Er, dies, she needs something or someone to help her. So the system of the day often said - Mary the next brother. So she marries Judah’s second son - Onan

Judah urges this and says “it’s required by our law” (Genesis 38:8)

The point was that Onan is supposed to step in and provide kids for his dead brother.

But Onan basically refuses to make this happen because he knows that “legally” the kids won’t be continuing his line, they will be continuing his dead brothers line.

So God gets angry with him for this and kills him as well.

Now Tamar is sent away and told that she’ll be passed on to the 3rd son once he is old enough.

But Judah never intends to do this - He’s already lost 2 sons that married this woman. He isn’t taking a chance on the 3rd. In the meantime Judah’s wife dies (The body count is now racking up)

Tamar realizes that Judah isn’t going to give her to his other son she works up a plan.

She disguises herself as a prostitute and sleeps with her father in law

She ends up pregnant by her father-in-law - This is like an episode of Jerry Springer.

Her father in law is furious - She deserves to die.

But she had kept some of his personal things as part of her plan - and she send them to him and basically says - These belong to the dad.

He admits - She is more righteous than me.

I didn’t treat her right by allowing her to marry my other son.

Tamar Has twins - Perez and Zerah.

Please know I’m not justifying anyone’s behavior here. But our culture and their culture are separated by thousands of years.

This woman was trying to do her best in order to secure a future for her family

Judah mistreated her and had done her wrong This is the same Judah that Revelation refers to when it says Jesus is the “Lion of the tribe of Judah’

If you’re going to have Judah in your family tree, well ok, but don’t bring up this story!

Matthew puts it out for all to see.

God uses both Judah and Tamar to continue to the line of Jesus - To tell a story of redemption and grace.

What about your family? Full of drama and problems? God still wants to work in it!

Rahab - God includes her despite her shady past

We can read about Rahab’s Story in Joshua 2

Rahab was a prostitute living in Jericho

Jericho was about to be taken by the nation of Israel Joshua had sent in 2 spies to check out the lay of the land If you remember the story, Jericho is surround by great high walls.

The two spies, for some reason end up at the house of “Rahab the Prostitute”

The authorities of Jericho get word that they are there and come looking for them.

They come to Rahab’s house but she hides them in the roof She sends the authorities in the wrong direction and helps the 2 spies escape.

She makes a deal with the men in exchange for helping them

When they take the city, they are to keep her and those in her house safe

She turns her life around and commits herself to follow Israel’s God

She goes from Pagan prostitute to follower of God

It’s a story of redemption in the midst of tragedy In her conversation with the two men, she talks about how she had heard of the great feats of God and how God was the supreme God over all of earth and heaven. (Joshua 2:9-11)

The writers of the New Testament seem to hold her up in high esteem

Hebrews 11:31 - She is mentioned in the hall of faith

James 2:25 - James uses her as an example of faith

Here’s a woman with a shady past who turns to God and finds her situation changed.

What about you and your family? Do you think you've got too much of a past for God to use?

God wants to use you and work in your life despite your past.

Ruth - God includes her despite her loss

Ruth is also a pagan - A foreigner who at first doesn’t worship the true God

You can read about her story in the Old Testament book that bears her name But for our purposes here’s an overview

There’s a famine in the land of Israel so an Israelite family decides to move to Moab to find food.

While there they find wives for their two boys - One of these wives is Ruth. (According to OT law, they really aren’t supposed to be marrying these women)

This is when tragedy strikes - All the males in the family die.

So here you have 3 women who’s husbands have all died. What are they going to do?

Naomi, the mother-in-law decides it’s time to head back to Israel.

She wants to let her daughter in laws return back to their own home - to their own gods.

But Ruth refuses to Leave. In her famous statement - She makes clear she has decided to follow the God of her mother-in-law - the true God! (Your God will be my God, your people my people)

In the midst of her great loss it would have been easier for her to return to the familiar - but instead she decided to be loyal to her mother-in-law and follow God.

God Honors her and provides her with a new husband.

Her response in the midst of her tragedy and loss shows her strength of character.

So what About you - Do you think you’ve lost too much for God to use you? Ruth’s story shows us that God wants to include us despite our losses.

Bathsheba - God includes her despite sin

Bathsheba’s story can be found in 2 Samuel 11

King David is sitting in his home - when he’s supposed to be away at war

He’s on the roof of his house and he spots a beautiful woman bathing on her roof (Which was not uncommon)

He wants her and so, as the king, he finds out who she is - He finds out she’s married, but he doesn’t care.

He brings her to himself and sleeps with her.

In my opinion, Bathsheba is innocent here.

I think she’s afraid of being killed if she doesn’t comply with the king. So she sleeps with him out of fear and gets pregnant.

David tries to cover it up by making it look like the child would belong to her husband.

Eventually David murders her husband and brings Bathsheba in and marries her.

This is scandalous - God sends the prophet Nathan to David and confronts him about his sin.

The Child dies He sleeps with his new wife Bathsheba again and this time she gives birth to a son - a son named Solomon. It tells us in 2 Samuel 12:24 that the “Lord Loved Solomon.”

God, despite this sin, includes both David and Bathsheba in this family portrait of Jesus.

This does not justify the sin - For Sure, if you read the story God dealt with it and there were consequences for it - but it is to say that their sin did not stop God’s story of redemption and grace from working.

What about you? What sin have you committed that makes you feel as though God should write you out of His story?

God wants to include you and use you despite your imperfections. It doesn’t matter where you’ve come from, what you’ve been through, who you’ve lost, or what sin you have committed, his grace is enough to turn your story around.

This is not to justify our sin - But it is to say that that shouldn’t be our focus. Our focus is on his grace and his ability to work in our lives - not in our ability to “get it together.”

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So what can you do to stop painting a perfect picture and begin allowing God to use your story and the story of your family?

Better yet, how can you pass on the story of God’s grace to your kids and family?

How can we be a church that allows God’s grace to work through us and be a place for broken, imperfect people?

Relax and Have fun

One of the most spiritual things you can do is just relax and enjoy having fun with your kids. When’s the last time you just sat down and enjoyed them?

When is the last time you talked to them with no agenda? You just wanted to know them and spend time with them? Having fun with them shows that you love them - Especially after you discipline them.

Think about it - When you’re mad or upset at someone it’s hard to have fun with them. When you can have fun with them again it’s a sign that you’re over it and the relationship is ok Your kids need discipline, but they also need fun If all you do is talk “super-spiritual” to them, but never have fun with them, don’t be surprised if they don’t follow your faith.

Church should be fun! We get so stuffy some times and want everything perfect. Instead of perfect, be real and relax!

Give them a front row seat to how God is working in your story

Make sure to show them the real you. They see you anyway!

When you try and hide your struggles, you aren’t doing your children a favor Let them see that you struggle, but that you allow God’s grace to work through and in your failures and mess ups.

One of the reasons scholars believe Matthew included these stories in the genealogy of Jesus is that it points to the fact that Jesus came to save and work in the lives of broken people!

This church should be known in this community for the stories of God’s grace at work!

Be patient and gracious with them, as God is with you

We are harder on our family than we are on anyone else

Some of us are hard on ourselves and we translate that into being tough on those around us.

We serve a God who, although he calls us to be Holy, is also incredible patient, kind, and gentle with us.

The New testament is clear - These are attributes we are to have in our lives.

Notice how the inclusion of broken people in the story of Jesus’ family shows us how patient and kind God is towards us! Maybe you need more “Fruit of the Spirit” working in your life?

Trust that God is writing an incredible story of His love and grace in their life

At the end of the day, you’ve got to trust God with your family Take the burden off yourself - It’s not yours to hold anyway

If you’re a parent with a child who’s far from God - give that burden to God.

Don’t try and force it - Let God do His work.

None of the people in this list fully understood what God was doing through their life. You don’t know what God might be doing behind the scenes that you are not aware of.

The world doesn’t need more perfect pictures. It needs more stories of God’s grace and redemption.

It doesn’t matter what your family may have been through or where you’ve come from. Stop stressing yourself out trying to paint a perfect picture and rest in his grace.

Conclusion

MI - I think God is far more interested in using your messy story than seeing your perfect picture.

Bring your messy story to Jesus and let him use it. If you don’t know Jesus, today’s the day to submit your life to him. I want to close praying for families in this place.