Family Matters

How important… is family?

How far are you willing to go for family?

As a father, I can tel you I am willing to go the needed distance to make sure that my family is protected and provided for. I make sure that Bible serves as our foundation and that God comes first in our priorities.

Sometimes, I have to come and defend my family against outside attacks.

We have a couple of run ins over the years with individuals who looked to bring harm to my family. They were met with a very resolved father and husband who stood his ground.

Other times, I have had to protect my family… from attacks within.

There have been times when trouble was found not outside, but inside the family unit. A lesson as to be learned or an apology offered, but we had to work through the issue and hope it wouldn’t happen again.

I can honestly say… I have never found myself in a situation like we will see in our area of study tonight.

What would happen, if someone wronged your family, and you wronged them right back? Perhaps you felt justified in your action but… do two wrongs ever make a right?

Nothing gets me more upset than attacks on my kids or wife. Are there any parents or spouses in the room that know what I am talking about?

But… does the situation give us the green light to repay in kind… or are we called to a higher responsibility that warrants a Christ-like response?

Is there EVER a reason good enough… to repay evil with evil?

This evening, we are going to look at a tragic family situation that led to a tragic family response.

Offense One: Dinah is Attacked.

We find the first offense in Genesis 34:1-4

Genesis 34:1–4 NIV

1 Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. 2 When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. 3 His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 4 And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.”

Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, went out to do a good thing… and a very bad thing happened to her. She was defiled… or raped. The son of the ruler of the area saw her and took advantage of her.

It was an absolutely terrible thing to happen. Not only did he assault her, but then he pursued her wanting to take her as his wife.

There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior… ever.

The only reason Scripture gives for the assault is that Schechem “loved” her. But this isn’t love. This was assault. And I would argue that verse 3 discloses yet another form of assault.

Round one was physical by nature. Schechem forced her to his bed.

Round two was verbal by nature. He “loved” her and tried to speak nicely to her. He emotionally abused her after physically violating her. He tried to convince her that he loved her.

Truly there is not much to pull form this other than there is NO EXCUSE for this kind of action. And as bad as this initial offense is… the next offense make me sick to think about.

Offense Two: Jacob is Silent.

After this terrible attack takes place, we see something happen that leaves me in shock. Dad… does nothing.

Genesis 34:5 NIV

5 When Jacob heard that his daughter Dinah had been defiled, his sons were in the fields with his livestock; so he did nothing about it until they came home.

As the story continues… Jacob remains silent. The only interaction recorded is between Jacob’s sons and Schechem, who is the assailant, and his father, Hamor.

This rocks my mind. I cannot imagine how I would feel if I found out one of my children had been attacked like this… But I can tell you, silence would NOT be an option.

We are given no reaction or response from Jacob. Someone might argue that a response was given but not recorded yet when Jacob hears of Joseph’s “death” in chapter 27, he tears his clothes and puts on sackcloth. He refuses to be comforted.

I believe… this silent wrong has much to do with what happens next.

Jacob’s sons will not be silent. And I believe their reaction is only fueled to a higher intensity because of their father’s lack of action.

Dads, in NO WAY am I encouraging you sin or to do something you might regret… but stand for your children. Stand for your spouse. Be that line of defense for your family.

Also… COMFORT your family in times of hurt or injury. There is no mention of Jacob caring for his daughter who had been physically and emotionally abused by another man!

There are right forms of response… and wrong forms of response. In a moment, we will see the brothers take on a wrong form of response… but Jacob initially does NOTHING!

We have an unmentioned pandemic that I believe is close to the heart of the major issues we are facing in America and that is the issue of fatherlessness.

Where have all the dads gone? Where are the fathers? Right now, fatherless homes make up the majority of homes in our nation. Historically no society has survived two generations beyond that point.

Dad, you can be present in a home… but absent in the family. Jacob missed it big time here… and it is easy to see where he went wrong. But how many of us miss it in the small details that make a big difference?

Dads, no matter what age your kids might be, they need you to be… dad. They need you to stand on the Word of God and they need you to help them to do the same. They need to know your love and concern.

Maybe Jacob didn’t know what to do… but silence was not the right option to take. And I believe it is his silence that moves the brothers to the next offense.

Offense Three: The Brothers React.

Dad doesn’t do anything so the brothers take matters into their own hands. These guys present a solution that would appear to appease the request of Hamor, but actually leaves them susceptible to what the brothers had in mind.

Genesis 34:15–17 NIV

15 We will enter into an agreement with you on one condition only: that you become like us by circumcising all your males. 16 Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves. We’ll settle among you and become one people with you. 17 But if you will not agree to be circumcised, we’ll take our sister and go.”

Now… did they guys really care about the guys becoming like them through circumcision? NO! They use this as a means to injure all the males. And the brothers use this injury to their advantage.

First, I see it as interesting that the first offense came about because of Shechem’s urges regarding Dinah.

Well, I’m sure these guys weren’t feeling any kind of urge in this moment! I believe the brothers strategically hurt them in this area!

Next, in the pain of their injury, all the males are attacked and killed by Dinah’s brothers. They could not fight back.

This included Shechem and his father. They took the innocence of their sister away, now the brothers took everything away from these men.

Lastly, they plundered everything these guys had. They took it all.

And the totality of their actions brought fear into the heart of Jacob.

Genesis 34:30–31 NIV

30 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me obnoxious to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.” 31 But they replied, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?”

THIS is ONE BIG MESS. Emotions are boiling over all over the place. Things are moving from bad, to terrible, to catastrophic. And now Jacob fears that his family will be hunted by the other people living in the land. So what are they supposed to do now?

God Intervenes.

Jacob had no answer for the problem. He made that clear in his silence. So at the sign of no action, his sons took action and made matters worse. So what does God do? He brings it back… to an altar.

Genesis 35:1–4 NIV

1 Then God said to Jacob, “Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau.” 2 So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, “Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. 3 Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone.” 4 So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem.

Look at Jacob’s words carefully in verse 3. Look at how he describes God - he describes Hims as the One who answered him in the day of his distress.

On the first encounter, Jacob’s fear of the Lord is renewed. He stands in awe of God. He is reminded of what God did for him in that moment.

He also realizes that if he want’s God’s favor in this situation, then all false gods had to go! And we need to see what happens as a result.

Genesis 35:5 NIV

5 Then they set out, and the terror of God fell on the towns all around them so that no one pursued them.

Closing Application

So what can we draw from this tonight?

First off, two wrongs, three wrongs, however many wrongs… WILL NEVER MAKE A RIGHT!

Jacob was wrong in what appeared to be a response of indifference

The brothers were wrong in a response of aggression.

Matters continued to get worse. AND… if they had chosen to disobey the Lord and stay where they were, chances are they would have faced even more challenges because of their aggressive response.

Secondly, you never go wrong going to the altar. NEVER.

I wonder what might have happened had Jacob led his daughter and brothers to the altar BEFORE they had any conversation with Shechem and Hamor?

I wonder what would have happened had the brothers witnessed some kind of response from their father.

Dad did nothing… so it was up to them to do something. They went the way of their emotions… what might have happened if dad led them to a way through the altar?

Lastly, God can save us from big messes… even messes we create… but we need to clean house, first.

Before the family does anything, they get rid of any and all foreign gods and they leave them behind. As a result, God protects them from any attack from other people groups.

God did not have to do this. He does not have to intervene on any of our parts. But in order to walk in His blessing, we must clean house, first.

When we come to Christ, we come as we are - sinners in need of a Savior.

ALL that once cluttered up our heart and soul are freely given to Him. We ask for forgiveness and walk in fellowship with Him.

We come as we are… but do not stay as we were. He intervened on our behalf, but calls us to be cleansed from sin and wrong doing.

Our responses are important. Our families matter. The way in which we operate in all things… matters.

And when in doubt of what to do… you will never go wrong with going to the altar… first. God knows what to do. God sees and knows the situation and God will guide you and see you through.

His ways might go against what your flesh might want to do… but our flesh, more often than not, will lead us to more trouble, not less.

You will never go wrong with God.