God's Master Plan for the Family, Part 4 - The Role of the Wife
Sermon • Submitted • Presented
0 ratings
· 26 viewsNotes
Transcript
Review
Review
week one - we learned about the foundation of marriage and why God created marriage
week two - learned many truths about marriage by looking at the 1st wedding ceremony of Adam and Eve
week three - we learned about the role of the Husband
summarized: the Husband is to follow Christ and lead his wife and family. That leadership comes with the heavy responsibility of being the everything for his wife and family (Savior/Jesus), for God holds the Husband accountable for the welfare of the marriage and family
today we will focus in on the role of the wife
show picture of the blue print
God has a Master Plan/blueprint for wives
want a successful marriage and family, it starts with following the blue print that God has laid out
it is not an easy role, but with God’s help, through faith, wives should try to live a life as close as possible to the blue print
so wives, pay attention
single females hoping to marry, pay attention
single males hoping to marry, pay attention
married men - I know you’re paying attention!
Reminder - Men and Women are different - and thus we have different roles in the family.
For example the woman has been given the role of being pregnant for nine months. Then man has been given the role of saying, “Baby do you need anything, let me help you up, what else do you want to eat?”
Where do we start, back in Genesis of course
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Role #1: Help your husband
Though God had created millions of creatures, the man was yet alone, for nothing else created was like him . . . therefore God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone, so I will create a helper suitable for him” . . . I will create a mate for Him
and this mate/this woman will be a help to him/she is going to give him some help
A wife is to help her husband
Last week we saw in the scriptures that the husband is to
Role #1 - Follow Christ
Role #2 - Lead his wife and family
Role #3 - Take all responsibility and accountability
Role #4 - Be everything to the wife and family (savior, protector, deliverer)
Role #5 - Love his wife like Christ loved us
Role #6 - Treat his wife with understanding (and children)
Role #7 - Provider
and I found a new role that I will add in real quick in today’s sermon
That’s a lot, and you can see why the the man needs help!!! Desperately!
he needs help in following Christ
pray for him, pray with him, live right and that will encourage him to live right
he doesn’t need a wife that he has to drag to church, but a wife that will get him to come to church when he’s not feeling it
a wife that knows the word enough to encourage him when he is feeling down
the husband needs help leading his family (successfully)
give wise counsel and advice
reveal other perspectives
help him think things through
support his leadership in front of the children
you can easily tell kids, “ you have to ask your dad”, even if you and your husband have already talked and agreed on it.
“I talked to your dad and he said . . . . “
just like a husband can say, “let me talk to your mom first, before I decide” to let children know that mom’s input is valuable
the wife can’t take the accountability from her husband, but she can help by taking on some of the tough tasks that need to be done
The husband is to love the wife like Jesus loved us - so the wife can help by being as lovable as possible.
He is to treat you with understanding - so try to figure out what you want to eat a little faster
Provide - help him put food on the table, shelter, clothes
YouTube/Podcast on what a woman brings to the table in a marriage
The men said, “when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, we don’t care about a woman’s money”
I get that . . . when a guy meets a new woman, his friends never ask him, “how much money do you think she makes” . . . .’
but I was like, “I do care, it does matter” . . . but as they continued to talk, I realized that a lot of modern women think that the husband’s money is for the family, and the wife’s money is just for her (not biblical, you are supposed to be one)
The man is ultimately responsible and accountable for provision, but the wife can be a help to him.
She can help her husband provide by bringing in money
she can help her husband provide by spending wisely
Protect - help him protect you, don’t wear those clothes he says are not appropriate. He knows how men think. Listen to him, make it easy for him to protect you and your reputation . . .
don’t get into a heated argument with a group of men and get your husband beat up trying to protect you
Role #1 - the wife is to help her husband and this brings us to the dreaded Proverbs 31. For those unfamiliar with it, staring in verse 10 it describes this superwoman/wife/mom . . . . . and will have a woman saying, “How can I do all of that.
but what it is really doing is describing some of the ways a wife can help her husband
10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
A man should try to find An excellent wife (virtuous woman), an excellent wife is worth much more than expensive jewels or riches
She is precious, valuable, and rare
single men, an excellent wife is hard to find, don’t get frustrated by the search . . .
First, it will be worth the search when you find her. If you find her, lock her down
Secondly, don’t fall for the modern lie that everyone woman is a virtuous woman/excellent wife/queen (they might all have queen potential) . . . but there are not many fulfilling that potential. For the scripture indicates that there are not just falling off of trees
this is a quick lesson for single ladies - men are truly impressed with you, if they think of you as wife material.
the number of men that say, “let me holla at you” means nothing
he number of men in your dm’s means nothing. Each of those men have dm’ed 10 other women that same day.
The true indicator is how many men sincerely want to wife you
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
An excellent wife/virtuous wife is they type of helper that her husband can trust.
Life is better for a husband when he has a wife that he can trust completely
a wife that doesn’t lie
a wife of high moral character
a wife with integrity
a wife who does not keep secrets from him
she’s not telling the kids, don’t every tell your dad
she’s not telling friends, help me hid this from my husband
she is not hiding secret bank accounts
And he will have no lack of gain and she does him good all the days of her life
NLT - she will greatly enrich his life
this type of wife is such a big help, that she makes life better
She is not the “old ball and chain” that drags him down, but she is the wind beneath his wings
because of the wife he is a better man, better Christian, better father, richer man . . . he has gone further than he would have alone
that’s some help
Again, Proverbs 31, verses 10-31 is not “Wives, you must do all of these things.” It is giving examples of the type of things an excellent wife might do. It is showing ways that a wife can help her husband.
you can read it on your own, but let me give you a Summary: an excellent wife is a woman of godly character who works hard. . . . works hard, whether inside the house, outside the house, or both
single ladies, do not get married so that you can rest.
you should be able to rest mentally and emotionally, knowing that your husband will provide for your security in life . . .
you can rest in the fact do you have a “savior” you can turn to.
but an excellent wife works hard, just like Jesus expects his church to work hard
Here are the examples from Proverbs thirty one:
she might help by making things with her hands that benefit the household
she might help by preparing meals for her family
if they are rich, she might help supervise the household servants for her husband
if he owns a business, she might help supervise the employees for her husband
she might help by making money for the household by running her own business
she might help by making sure that they don’t forget to give back and help the poor
she might help by preparing the household for changing weather (so when a woman says, “where’s your coat” she is just trying to be biblical)
she might help by making clothes
she has a good reputation and makes her husband look good in various circles ( social, business, and government) - in the gates, among the elders
in social settings my wife reminds me of names - so and so
the one who asked for prayer - “how is your son doing”
the one who sent the donation - “thank you so much again”
my wife who will mingle and find out info for me - I found this out, and you might want to reach out to them
reminds me of what to do - did you remember to write them a check?
keep the conversation going so things won’t be awkward
she gives wise advice with kindness
she watches over the household - bills, repairs, upkeep
in God’sblue print there is no sitting back and my husband just takes care of me, and I just go to brunches and go shopping
and then proverbs gives a warning to men looking for a wife
charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, men need to chose wives who respect the Lord
Role #8 for husbands - reward her, praise her publicly
(roses in front of the office)
to Sherry: baby you are a good wife - you are the wind beneath my wings
Role #1: be a helper . . . . role 2
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Role #2: submit to your husbands
notice that it says your own husbands and not to just any and every man
but what does submit mean? . . . .it means submit
follow your husband’s lead, let me say it more clearly, “obey your husband”
and it doesn’t mean that you are a doormat . . . last week we explained why there needs to be a leader in a marriage, and that in God’s Master Plan, He has ordained the husband as that leader.
We will not go through all of it again, but the teaching is available on YouTube
wives be subject to your own husbands
BE subject: it’s up to the wife to decide if she will follow or not
if she wants to do it God’s way, then she will be subject to her husband
if she wants to do it her way, then she will not be subject to her husband
The husband should not try to force the wife to follow him . . . The Lord does not force you to follow Him
husbands you can want it, expect it, but you can’t demand it
It is interesting that women will submit and respect male bosses at work (even if they don’t like them and disagree with them all the time), but refuse to submit to the one who loves and cares for them, their husbands
“I submit to my boss at work because of my boss’ position” . . . exactly . . . God has given your husband a position too
“it’s because if I don’t obey at work, I will get in trouble” . . . exactly . . . and if you don’t submit in marriage, you will be in trouble with God
the choice is yours . . . husbands if a wife won’t submit, this is your reaction (facial reaction) and move on with doing your role as best you can
Let’s talk it out a Christian example of husbandly leadership and wifely submission
Husband says, “I believe we need to move to NYC”
wife says, “I believe we need to move to LA”
Husband being a good and responsible leader, says, “Let’s discuss it and talk it out”
husband shares his reasons
wife shares hers
husband really tries to hear and understand why she doesn’t agree
so, they talk several times but cannot come to an agreement
Finally, Husbands says, “enough discussion, we are not getting anywhere . . . I’m sorry that we don’t agree, and in this case I have decided that we will do what you think best
in that case, no submission is necessary, because things went the wife’s way
But if he says, “We will move forward with what I think best, so I have decided that we will move to NYC” . . . then submission should come into action
How does the wife submit?
#1 - She doesn’t keep trying to force the conversation to start up again (she can ask)
#2 - she starts packing for NYC without complaining
How does a wife not submit?
#1 outright refuse to go
#2 nagging her husband about his decision
#3 try to get back at him by being moody, being slack when it comes to preparing to move, withholding physical affection
Question from the men’s side, “What if she will not submit”
again, you can’t force her if she refuses
Nor can you leave her, you are her savior . . . Jesus never leaves nor forsakes us
so you would have to stay in the same city, or move to LA
if she will go, but with an attitude, you have to just bear that attitude
so just continue all your roles - love, provide, protect
and . . . go to talk to YOUR supervisor and tell on her
maybe he will convict her change her mind, or he might change your mind
or give you the right plan, if both of you had the wrong plan
Question from the women’s side, “What if he is wrong about going to NYC”
you have never submitted to your husband until you follow him when you think he’s wrong . . . that’s the very definition of submission
just fulfill your role - help him . . . pack for NYC without an attitude
but you can also go to his supervisor and tell on him, direct line
maybe he will change his mind or your mind
or give you the right plan, if both of you are wrong
preacher once said that whenever his wife would get mad at him, she would say, “I’m gonna tell Jesus on you”
“Please, don’t do that . . . No need to go that far, we can work this out just between us!”
don’t tell get Jesus on me!
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
holy women who hoped in God:
A woman might say, I would have to have a lot of faith in my husband to submit to him . . . no you need a lot of faith in God
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Sarah called her husband Abraham, her lord (with a small l), out of respect for his authority in the family
and this verse acknowledges that it can be scary to submit to your husband, the Christian way of life is not for the timid
1st Lady has often said, “HOw are you doing my lord, with a small l”
I reply, “ok, what do you want” she is trying to butter me up
and it usually works because it feels good that she respects the authority of the position that God has placed me in
the opposite on submission
9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
19 It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.
part of submission is being agreeable.
The culture has made some women think it’s cute to always have an attitude. That’s not good for marriage.
Wives can disagree without being disagreeable, nagging, complaining, contentious, quarrelsome
“Whyyyy you want to do it that way!!!!! vs. I will follow your lead, I just want to understand why you decided that”
Finally, Let’s let the Bible summarize this husband/wife dynamic
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
husbands love your wives
wives need that love, that reassurance that you care, that they are special to you
wives don’t often complain that my husband doesn’t respect me, but that my husband doesn’t love me
I don’t think he loves me anymore
he is not treating me with the same love
wives respect your husband
husbands need to be built up, affirmed, respected
men don’t often complain that my wife doesn’t love me, but that my wife doesn’t respect me . . . who I am, what I do
for a woman to say, “I ain’t gonna submit to no man, I don’t care if he is my husband” sounds just as bad for a man to say, “I ain’g gonna love no woman, I don’t care if she is my wife”
husband love your wife, wife respect your husband
Men want the respect of the woman they love
Women want the love of the man they respect
What are men supposed to bring to the table? Everything
What are women supposed to bring to the table? Help with everything
This is the blue print, the Master Plan, the recipe . . . but you have to follow it.
and we all need to focus on doing our role
it will help the marriage overall
and it will keep the prayer lines open
single people if you refuse to do these things, don’t get married
better to NOT be married than be married and wish you weren’t
Marriage helps us understand our relationship with JEsus better
Jesus is our everything!
And we should follow Him, wherever he leads.