How do we put up with one another?

Colossians 3:12-16, Psalms 63

Last week we spoke about critical attitudes that are personal attacks on people. How our words can really hurt a person. We understood that a critical attitude is a personal attack on a person and we saw this example from Miriam and how she criticize Moses. We may act as though critical attitudes may not affect us, but I guarantee this morning you looked in the mirror several times to ensure no one would find anything wrong with your attire. an anonymous author had this to say about the mirror”

There’s both a power and a survival necessity in seeing yourself the way the world sees you. Anonymous

What that mirror should be telling us is that we need to examine our evil acts that cause us to quarrel and bicker. That the reason we do those things is because we are fighting with evil desires from within us. The sad part is we are on both sides of this coin. We worry about what people say, think, and act toward us. but also we are those who add to this problem and continue to see people hurt due to our actions. We give them too much power. So for us that has created this power this sermon is for us.

Col. 3 is a chapter that is broken into 3 or 4 parts, in order to allow us to take a minute and look into this text like a mirror. See what the world or should I say God sees in us. This chapter helps us to see where the rubber meets the road. This is where we see how we should live out our faith, and it comes in a little section that I call the ABA rule. If my kids were here and my wife may remember this, but I had the privilege of driving my kids to school every day. During the drive, we had devotion every morning. There was a short sermon, scripture reading, prayer request, and prayer and we ended with a song. We all would take turns reading the devotion to prayer. It was our ritual. after a few years later I was listening to a podcast over the book of colossians heard the podcaster mention how he wanted to say something profound to his daughter on her first day in High School. So I decided to use his saying for my kids, so before my kids got out of the car I would say Remember ABA!! which meant Always be Awesome. In this section of Colossians 3 Paul is stating that God wants us to be awesome in everything we do, If someone is mad at you, greet them with kindness, if someone points out your sin, you embrace humility, if you go to the doctor and he has bad news, we practice longsuffering. and when someone mistreats you show forgiveness. That is how we can be awesome by clothing ourselves with the awesome things from Christ. If we serve the Lord, we serve him in the best way we know how. Always be awesome in all that we do for our Father who art in heaven, for our brother who fell on my sword, and the spirit that loves to guide and help us learn more about the truth.

In Chapter 2 we were warned not to fall for any fault-finding arguments that move us away from Jesus. We started in Christ and we continue in Christ digging our roots directly into him in chapter 3 it’s about who we are in Christ. We are made new, so we put to death the old self and put on the new self to be renewed in the image of our creator that means more and more like Jesus and that brings me to say we should always be awesome. so this morning we are going to put this to the test.

I want to start with a question “ How do we put up with one another? How do we learn how to embrace each other's mouths, looks, and thoughts when they are noticed? How do we deal with our critical attitudes?

In Colossians Chapter 3, Paul called on believers to take decisive action: verse 10 Clothe yourselves by putting on the new self. We should live accordingly, with appropriate attributes and attitudes. In verses 8–9, Paul listed six vices (anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lying). Now in contrast to them, Christians—as God’s chosen people (cf. Rom. 8:33; Titus 1:1), holy (“separated to God”; cf. Col. 1:2) and dearly loved (cf. Rom. 5:8; 1 John 4:9–11, 19)— that we are to have several virtues. In order to put up with me I need you to have several virtues. In order for me to put up with you I need several virtues. These include compassion in Phil. 2:1 Paul joined these two nouns with “and”), kindness (benevolence in action; cf. 2 Cor. 6:6), humility (a lowly attitude toward God; cf. Phil. 2:3; 1 Peter 5:5), gentleness (prautēta), a lowly attitude toward others, and patience (makrothymian, self-restraint, a steady response in the face of provocation; cf. Col. 1:11).

The last three of these are mentioned in the Greek in the same order in Ephesians 4:2; and Galatians 5:22–23 in the Greek includes three of them: patience and gentleness, as well as kindness.

I love that picture of clothing yourself with compassion. This is the fashion statement for the new self for a lot of us clothing is an expression of who we are so let yours be kindness, humility, and patience, Show the world an expression that is desired and respected. My mother use to tell me to look like a million bucks even if I only have a dollar in my pocket. Lets look at a few other things in this passage.

Putting up with one another 3:13 Believers must have patience with one another, even while enduring difficult situations. (i.e., “put up with each other”) with the attitudes just mentioned in v. 12. 13 bear with each other, and forgive One another, if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord gave you. God's image shows through your kindness, but it shines through your mercy. Paul also mentions Romans 12:10 on how to put up with one another. Rom.12.10

Romans 12:10 NKJV

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;

Forgiving one another Even in the community of believers, the actions of some offend or hurt others; how believers respond is critical. Experiencing God’s forgiveness shows that believers must forgive one another Jesus said in (Luke.7.47.47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

14 and over all these virtues put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity what a great picture love is a knot that ties all the virtues together kindness and patience are beautiful things already but love makes the personal love is the glue that holds God‘s family together. So let’s dive into this super glue a little more then we will come back to conclude Colossians. Let’s turn to 1 cor.13 Let’s diagnose this thing called love.

It's said The only attitude big enough to replace a critical attitude is an attitude filled with correct love

In our book “Lord Change our attitude the author states this about critical attitudes “Sometimes, that’s really hard to do because people can be so irritating. Criticism, I think, more than any other wilderness attitude, is the one that can really trap us. When we allow the inevitable frustrations that come from others to make us critical, negative and faultfinding, then we are headed for the wilderness for sure.

Let’s begin with this thought from 1 Corinthians 13: 1–2: All truth and no love is brutality. Speaking only the raw truth and not loving others is a very brutal thing. First Corinthians 13: 1 says, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” The concept of love in the world is terribly distorted. Those distortions affect the way we hear God’s Word.”The only true foundational love that is spoken here is Agape which means selfless love, giving love, and you-before-me love. It describes love as an act of the will; a choice I make. However, what we often mean when we say “I love you” is not, “I’ve made a commitment to place your needs above my own.” Instead, we often mean, “I love what you do for me. You make me feel good. What you are doing right now is working” for the person that I truly love most, which is me.” What we’re really saying is, “I feel something.” Aren’t we saying, “You’re making me feel something that I really enjoy feeling”? Now that is not love. That is self-centeredness. If you build a relationship upon that, some very difficult days are ahead.”

ANOTHER BARRIER We could even have a great knowledge of God and a great faith in God and fail to communicate if we don’t have a loving attitude. Paul continued, “If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love …” (verse 2). What if you understood every deep theological issue? What if you had your Ph.D. in God and the Bible? Doesn’t matter. And if you had “all faith”—such confidence in God that you could do what Jesus talked about and move mountains (see Matthew 17: 20; 21: 21); this phenomenal vertical with God, then could God Use you? Not if you didn’t love people. If you don’t love the person that you are trying to reach, you could have A+ faith and still fail the test.

WILL GREAT SACRIFICES HELP? Paul takes an interesting turn in verse 3. His thought goes in the complete opposite direction. “If I give all my possessions … ” OK, so then if love is putting others’ needs ahead of my own, then I’m going to be just crazy. I’m going to give, give, and give. Get some food and some clothing and some money, and I’m going to meet your needs. You all can stand around and study the Bible all you want to; I’m going to make a difference in this world. I’m going to pour myself into people. We’ve got our “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets, key chains, and shirts. And we’re out here meeting needs. You all are over there studying the Bible; we’re out here meeting needs. But wait a minute, “If I give all my possessions to feed the poor …” All of them? That’s love, right? But Paul goes on, “If I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” Did you get that?

If I make the ultimate sacrifice but have no love, it’s worthless! Now that’s not what you expect God’s Word to say. You think to yourself, “Well how could you possibly give everything you have to people in need and give yourself for them and not love them?” The point that Paul is making is that love is a balance between affection and truth. We tend to think of love as affection. Love is far more than affection. Biblical love is both truth and affection put together and kept together.”

An imbalance of biblical love has often infected the church. On one hand is radical fundamentalism that emphasizes all truth and is legalistic and screaming, “This is what the Word says, boy!” That’s not what Jesus did. On the other hand, we have a liberal Christianity that says, “Bag the Bible; we have Jesus! We have His heart for the hurting, and we’re going out to make a difference in this world.” Jesus didn’t do that either. Neither one of those is what Christ intended. It appears we need a balance between these two: truth and acts of mercy; acts of mercy and truth. Anything less is not biblical love.

For instance, Jerry isn’t sure how to show love yet speak the truth. He described his dilemma: “My friend has a drinking problem. I can tell it by his breath. I can see it in his eyes. I know it by his actions. I know that he is hurting himself and his family. So what do I do? If I go and speak the truth to him, he might reject me. So I’m just going to love him and care for him. But that’s not really right either, because if I just leave him and I know that he is hurting himself, something inside me tells me that’s not loving.” A lot of times we feel caught in between these two choices: God’s truth, given in His Scriptures, and the command to love, which Jesus said is how “all men will know that you are My disciples” (John 13: 35). And so we get into this balancing act of love and truth, truth and love. Most of us fail on one side or the other. Stop the Presses—New Headline! I’m going to tell you: It’s not about balancing truth and love. We can’t replace criticism with a tightrope walk between truth and love. We need a paradigm shift. Do you know what a paradigm shift is? A paradigm shift occurs when you have been looking at something one way for such a long time that you think that’s the only way it is. All of a sudden, you walk around the other side of the issue, and you’re like, “Agh! It’s totally not like what I thought it was! It’s completely different.” We need to make that complete shift in how we look at truth and love. We’re not supposed to be balancing love and truth as though they are separate things. What 1 Corinthians 13 is teaching—and you won’t hear this very often at a wedding—is that truth is part of love and that you’re not really lvoing if speaking truth is not apart of the equation. All truth and no love is brutality and all love and not truth is spiritual death”

Let's finish up back in Colossians Col.3.15-17

Colossians 3:15–17 (NKJV)

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Gratitude is a gateway, giving thanks is like opening a door to let peace into your mind,

Gratitude is a safeguard against grumbling and complaining, both of which can ruin a community. Gratitude Thanksgiving 3:16 Refers either to the gospel message about Christ or to Christ’s teaching (as opposed to human philosophies or traditions; Col 2:8). Let the Word of Christ Dwell among You Refers to a variety of songs used in Christian worship, probably including the OT Psalms. Paul commands the Colossians to express gratitude for the things they have and the people in their lives. Believers are also to let the peace of Christ rule in their hearts because they are called to peace as members of one body. verse 16, let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through Psalms, hymns, and songs from the spirit. Singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Now that’s a great way to live And let this message dwell. Make itself at home among you, that’s you and other believers. Talk about it Paul says to teach one another teaching is not a one-way street encourage correct and listen. Use wisdom, use praise, sing together, and always keep an attitude of gratitude

The closer believers are to Christ (and His likeness), the closer they are to each other. In interpersonal relationships “peace” (transcendent, God-given tranquility) should rule (brabeuetō, “arbitrate, decide every debate”; a word used only here in the NT; cf. katabrabeuetō, “decide against,” 2:18). Christ’s followers who have put on the virtues Paul listed (3:12–14), are concerned about being arbitrated in every trying circumstance by His peace, not by their wrangling. Also, Christians are to be thankful (cf. Phil. 4:6; Col. 1:12; 3:16–17; 4:2; 1 Thes. 5:18). An attitude of gratitude contributes to the enjoyment of spiritual tranquility, whereas grumbling makes for inner agitation. 3:16. The new life Christians must “put on” is one in which the Word of Christ dwells richly. Christ’s words were recorded by Spirit-guided apostles (cf. John 14:26; 16:13; 20:31). The words of the Bible, God’s written Word, are to dwell in believers. That is, by study, meditation, and application of the Word, it becomes a permanent abiding part of one’s life. When the words of Christ become part of a believer’s nature, they spring forth naturally and daily in psalms (songs from the Book of Psalms), hymns (other songs of praise), and spiritual songs (as opposed to secular ones) with gratitude (en tē charity; lit., “in grace”). This can mean either (a) God’s grace, (b) graciousness in Christian singing, or (c) Christian thanks. As suggested by the NIV it probably has a third meaning. Such joyful singing is not only to please oneself or others but is to be praise to God. Through this Spirit-filled kind of life (cf. Eph. 5:18–19), Christians can teach (instruct) and admonish (“counsel”) one another (Col. 3:16; cf. “admonishing and teaching” in 1:28) if it is done with all wisdom (sophia; cf. 1:9; 2:3; 4:5) and not tactlessly (cf. Gal. 6:1).

Closing

so to keep that balance lets talk about God learned lessons from the word and talk about it with other people. Hey, check out what I learned today. Do you know regular conversation and what a line from a church song moves your heart share that with a friend in your dorm at the dinner table in the coffee room wherever normal conversation happens, recognize that your conversations Are a foundational part of your life, so talk about the things you want to build your life on talk about God don’t force it just make it natural. Want an easy plan just tell a friend. Hey let’s both listen to through the word and let’s talk about it over coffee or in the carpool or use it for small group remember church was never meant to be a spectator support. Church is a fellowship

People care how we say it as much as what we say. If we have a critical attitude—toward the lost or even Christian brothers and sisters—those watching us will be unable to fully accept the message. That’s why a loving attitude toward others is the only antidote to a critical attitude.”