Taking Back Family Part 1

What We Were Given (Model and Value)

Taking Back Family Series Pastor Marvin Barham, D. Min

Part 1 What We Were Given (The model and value)

In order to take back family we need to know what we were given. We were given family through the Genesis Model. We have to look at what God gave us in regard to family, not what culture and fallen man has handed us and not what we perceive fate, heredity, or genealogies have dealt us. We have to look at what God gave us in the beginning and what God restored to us through Christ Jesus.

If you have the perfect family; If you are all holy and everything is harmonious and bliss; each and every family member is walking in the fullness of Christ in their place in the family, then this message is not for you. You need your own reality television show.

Let’s start by asking a few questions. What was the model, the intent, and the value of that which God designed as the institution of family? In the Mosaic text, the very first verse of Genesis begins with an enlarged Hebrew letter Bet ב. This is not by accident but was intentional. The Bet ב is symbolic of a house. In the beginning of creation God reveals to us His intent which is to create a family. The Garden (גָּנַן ganan a covering; a place of protection provided by God) of Eden (עֵדֶן eden meaning pleasure or delight) was where God chose to place man in the center of His presence. Here they walked and talked or communion with God in unity. They delighted in God and God delighted in man. Man or woman was never an after thought but all creation was created to provide for the family God was building. His intent from the beginning was to fill the earth with man created in His image (tselem - authority, provision, protection) and likeness (damuwth - way of thinking); For all of mankind to live daily in God’s presence with the Spirit of God living within man; For all of mankind to live in the unity of God’s holiness in communion with Him and each other.

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

In Genesis 1:27, we are told that God created them male (ish) and female (ishshah). These did not relate to their gender but to their natures. Their gender came by design. Each in the design was given a nature from God. The man was given a masculine nature and the woman a feminine nature. He did not get their physical attributes confused nor did He get the attributes of their inner man confused. Together, they fulfilled the intent of God to make manifest the blessing. When God blessed them it activated the life cycle of procreation. Procreation in the holiness of God to give life as He gave life in His image and in His anointing could only be accomplished in His design.

From Genesis 1 until Genesis 3 we find a man and woman together in a covenant ordained by God. Together they lived daily in harmony, unity, peace, and in the pleasure and presence of God. They enjoyed the pleasures and joy of communion with God and one another. They enjoyed the tranquility of trusting and knowing nothing beyond the goodness, faithfulness, and love of the Father. They had need of nothing. They wanted or worried for nothing. They lived in contentment. Neither had known no other. The man was content with the woman God had given him and the woman was content with the man God had given her. Neither need to seek anything or anyone to fulfill anything within themselves. They were complete living together in the fullness of the image of God.

Have you ever wondered why God did not allow them to have children until after they had sinned and been banished from the garden? I believe they could have had them but they were still learning as children and were not ready to be parents. We are not given the time line. However, we are given a clue.

In Genesis 2:24-25 it states,

Genesis 2:24–25 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Here we see a stronger model of God’s design for family. The Hebrew word for the word “leave” is ‘azab עָזַב meaning to loosen the bands, depart from, implying a separating from dependence upon the father and mother. But the assuming of responsibility for leading in the way of God. The implication is that the woman also leaves her dependency on the father and mother as well. The man is then instructed to “hold fast” or “cleave” which is to dabaq דָּבַק unto his wife and his wife to him. The Hebraic concept is to embrace and never let go of. The Song of Solomon 3:4, “Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her who conceived me.” If a man so dabaqs דָּבַק his wife, he doesn't have time for wondering lust. If a woman so dabaqs דָּבַק her husband, she doesn't have time for gossip circles of discontentment. The passage continues that the two will become one flesh. The word “one” is echad אֶחָד. It denotes unity. The word “flesh” in this context comes from the root word basar בָּשָׂר conceptually referring to testify or proclaim the goodness of God. In other words, together they reflect the fullness of the goodness of God. They make manifest the blessing. When the two are echad in the glory of God, they can be naked (‘arowm עָרוֹם: without their own mantle; humbly under the authority of another) and not be ashamed (buwsh בּוֹשׁ: confused; confounded).

Now you can see what we were given was a perfect design. Family was the best thing God ever created. It was through family that God would reveal to us His desire for creating us; His intent for the entire created order; His great love; our sovereign purpose; our divine identity; our ability to live daily in His presence and communion with Him. It was through God’s design of family that we could live together in God’s grace, in unity, in harmony, and without confusion.

But in Genesis 3, the serpent brought confusion. Challenging God’s motives, intent, and design. He challenged not only the woman with God’s authority but Adam’s authority and her authority. He challenged both of their submission to God and stirred the spirit of discontentment being the seed of humanism.

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25–27 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Read Ephesians 5:22-33 (submit-‘avah אָבָה to bearthe after; whose root is ‘bh meaning to yield to; and it’s kindred form anah אָוָה to bend to or have humility and av אב father; the head-rosh רֵאשׁ: priestly sum of the family; sanctify-qadash קָדוֹשׁ: to consecrate, be holy, dedicated, honor, to treat as sacred);

1 Peter 3:1–2 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7 (to lead in Christ, not through fleshly manipulation but the authenticity of Christ in us; to take on the nature and Spirit of Christ) Men are to be- Prophet navi נָבִיא: Provoking to Righteousness and Calling forth destiny; Priest kohen כֹּהֵן: A living demonstration of consecration and worship; King melekh מֶ֫לֶךְ: after the heart of David, humble and altruistic. A man who cannot rule his household pleasing to God, cannot lead in the house of the Lord.

You might say, “But my family…” You might say, “My family was broken; My family was dysfunctional; My family fell apart; My family is lost; My family _________.” The truth is, that what your family was has no bearing on what God has ordained for you. You must choose to identify with the family of God that you have been grafted into through the redeeming love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

He came to redeem family that you might be reconciled and restored to the Father’s intent in the beginning. If your family is currently broken and dysfunctional, Father has given you hope to restore. Through Christ and the cross you have been given the permission to reclaim and take back family as God intended. Through the Word of God you have been given the design, the model, the example of how to lead your family in the righteousness of the Lord.

Family was not man’s idea. Man has tried to redefine family as a means to justify his perversion or cover up his sin. Humanism is but a worthless fig that does not cover man’s nakedness.

But God was the originator, the initiator, and it is time to take back family. Why have we settled for what this fallen world has dictated family to be? It is time to quit playing holy family at church but when we get home it’s a living hell hole of family dysfunction. It is time to take back family starting with a personal resolution to live family by his design, in the home as well as in the church.