How (not) to Pray

big idea: pray for your Father’s eyes knowing you have his ear and heart

As we start today, I want you to know I am no prayer hero. There definitely are prayer heroes - George Muller would be one. Ever heard of him? He ran orphanages for hundreds of children in Bristol entirely dependent on regular answers to prayer.

One morning he prayed and thanked God for the food with children lined up ready to be served - but there was no food in the place at all. As it’s recorded, though:

Upon finishing his prayer, there was a knock at the door and the local baker was standing on the other side.  It seems the baker had a dream the night before where God told him to give the orphan house a bunch of bread, so the baker was there to deliver enough bread for the orphanage for the rest of the week. 

Further, the milk truck had just broken down in front of the orphanage, and the milkman was forced to give all his supply so that it would not spoil before he could get his truck fixed.

Get this: Muller prayed for 5 specific people he wanted to see come to follow Jesus every day for 53 years - until the day of his death. Yep, 53 years. By his death, 3 of the 5 had come to faith - downer? nope - the remaining two came to faith a few years after he died. There are certainly prayer heroes but I am not one of them.

And neither, I expect, were many of those in the crowd listening to Jesus as he taught through his famous Sermon on the Mount. Maybe they had some solid religious structure - likely as Jews they’d have been taught to pray three times daily and perhaps they’d even know by heart some rote prayers to use for that. But how many of them had a perfect record? And was that really what it took to be a prayer hero?

This morning Jesus is going to challenge us to pray, to pray better, as we continue our journey through Matthew’s gospel, his biography of Jesus.

Prayer is super-easy to get started with - earlier in our gathering we have a spot where we pray together as a church and before we do that we’ll often say a few words about what prayer is - “simply talking to God” is a phrase we’ll commonly use there. And that’s right, that’s true - but like many things in the Christian life, stuff that is simple to get a basic grasp of often has surprising depth once we begin to dig in.

I doubt many of us feel we’ve mastered prayer or call ourselves prayer heroes - I know it’s something I struggle with and I know that’s true for others too. Most of us would give ourselves a “room for improvement” grade here. Hopefully what Jesus has for us this morning can be some help - so let’s listen together. And ________ is reading for us this morning. Matthew chapter 6, starting at verse 5. Page 970 in these blue church bibles Matthew chapter 6 and verse 5

Matthew 6:5–8 NIV

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Thank you. So last week, Ed pointed out the overarching theme of this whole section of Jesus’ teaching: Mt 6:1 “be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them” and then Jesus applies that teaching to three different acts of religious devotion: alms - that is, giving to those in need, prayer, and fasting. And Ed helped us to see that authentic christian generosity is for “an audience of one” - for God, for His reward alone. And today we’re going to hear that same message again - authentic Christian devotion - this time authentic prayer - is for an audience of one, for God, for His reward alone.

Simple enough, right? So we’re just going to finish early? No chance. We’re going to re-trace Jesus’ argument just in case you weren’t here last week and we’re going to think a bit on how we actually put that into practice. But if you were listening carefully to our reading, you’ll have noticed that Jesus has a bit more to say about prayer than about these other forms of devotion - so we’re going to look at that as well. Today’s going to be all about how to pray - and how not to pray!

So how are we to pray? First we have the echo of what we talked about last week - we’re to pray for God, not for others - for an audience of one, for his attention, not for others, for their applause.

As you start into this section you might be forgiven for thinking the secret to “good prayer”, like the secret to house prices, is simply location, location, location. That the big issue at the centre of Jesus’ concerns is where you pray - if you get the right spot you’re sorted, and the wrong spot you’re sunk.

Bad praying is praying in the middle of a religious assembly or on the street at a busy crossroads - because that’s what this phrase “street corners” means - specifically a broad or main street. And a street corner isn’t just where this street goes round a bend, it’s where two of these main streets meet, the crossroads. So in most small towns, this is like saying “right in the middle”, at the very busiest spot where everyone will see you.

And conversely, good praying is praying somewhere no-one can see you. Most ancient near eastern houses wouldn’t have much in the way of rooms; perhaps just a sleeping area with windows because it’s hot and a living are with windows because it’s hot, maybe separated, maybe not - windows just holes in the wall of course. This room Jesus is talking about would be the only place out of sight in most people’s homes: the store room, the treasure room.

Just location, location, location, then? No - if Jesus is giving us specific directions on acceptable locations, he doesn’t seem to pay much attention to them himself. He’s never recorded as actually going into an inner room and praying - he’s more of an outdoors guy when it comes to prayer - lonely mountains and nighttime gardens, for example. So let’s not be naive with Jesus’ teaching here - the specific location’s not his point.

And neither is the secrecy of prayer. Jesus isn’t just saying good prayer is only prayer alone, prayer where no-one can see you. Jesus is just about to teach a plural communal prayer - “our father” spoken in the plural, by a group. When it comes to praying in public, Jesus prays at the last supper - that has to be a religious assembly if anything is. In fact, the whole of John chapter 17 records Jesus prayer in front of his disciples. And those disciples seem to go on and do plenty more praying together too: in rooms, on boats, on beaches. Jesus isn’t saying that stuff’s all rubbish and the only stuff that counts is the secret stuff, that prayer done right is prayer in secret.

Location isn’t the point. Secrecy isn’t the point. Target audience is Jesus’ point. Just like last week. When our prayers become performances, when they’re for an earthly audience rather than a heavenly one, that’s when we have a prayer problem. You can pray perfectly well for the heavenly audience of one in public, at church or even at the crossroads if you have to. Location isn’t the point. Secrecy isn’t the point. Target audience is the point.

But as I was thinking about this, I wondered how many of us could really have this specific “hypocrite” problem as Jesus frames it: praying as a performance, acting like someone who prays, really just pretending to pray. There aren’t that many of us getting an opportunity to pray publicly, at least not in large gatherings. We’re really thankful for the team that lead us week by week as a church in public prayer - and we’d love more people to join that too - hopecityedinburgh.org/serve if you’d be willing. Does that mean there aren’t that many of us who could possibly suffer from this problem?

Well, no. If you’re part of a small group or very small group that prays together, if you join our prayer meetup on Mondays, if you’ve ever used Jo’s “let’s pray now” phrase - if you’ve simply talked to others about your prayers then you’ve had this opportunity for them to become performances for the audience around you rather than prayers to the one above you.

And the truth is that every Christian’s heart is still divided even as Jesus begins to transform it. Every act is a mix of righteousness along with wrong-teousness because it comes from us mixed people. If you don’t think this is a struggle for you, that this could be a struggle for you, you don’t understand how deeply broken we are as people even while our saviour continues his work on and in our hearts.

So what are we to do? What’s the solution? Well the very first thing I’d say is “keep trying”. See, one way to respond to Jesus’ challenge here would be to so suspect ourselves, so doubt our ability to ever authentically pray to God, for his ear, for the audience of one, that we just don’t bother praying at all ‘cause we know we’re gonna’ get it wrong.

For the avoidance of doubt, that is absolutely not the response Jesus is looking for. Look at verse 6 with me Mt 6:6

Matthew 6:6 (NIV)

But when you pray...

when you pray - Jesus isn’t just saying “don’t pray like that” - he’s also saying just as strongly “do pray like this”. So maybe now’s a good moment to ask the question: do you pray? do you pray often? do you pray as much as God wants you to? or do, perhaps, your own questions about why you’re really praying hold you back? If that’s you today, I’d encourage you to pray more, not less. Sure our motives are mixed - but keep trying. Jesus doesn’t give you the latitude here to just give up.

And I was thinking about telling people I will be praying for them, or that click on our prayer tool that lets someone know you’ve prayed. Should I quit that as it’s just another opportunity for this to turn into a performance? Should I just try for as secret prayer as is possible? Well, I don’t think so - Jesus’ earliest followers in their letters preserved for us in the bible often tell the people they are writing to that they are praying for them.

It’s something I find really encouraging: to know others are praying. An ultra-secret approach to prayer would be a bit like treating the symptom rather than seeking the cure; it’s not fundamentally the problem that our prayers are known to others - it’s fundamentally the problem that our hearts long for the applause of others rather than of God.

Maybe a good diagnostic here, to get a sense of where the balance lies, where our eyes are principally focused, could be to ask the question “would I still pray if no-one saw? if no-one knew? Or would I not bother?” If you know you’d pray anyway, you’re sure you’d pray anyway, perhaps it’s ok then to share rather than be secret?

I have one more thought for you here: Hypocrisy - just acting, just giving a performance - is Jesus’ root concern here, right? Well this cuts both ways. Sure you can be a hypocrite by praying. But did you know you can be just as much of a hypocrite by not praying. Do you tell others “what a friend we have in Jesus” and then totally blank your so-call friend all week, not speaking to him? Do you tell people they can have a relationship with God through Jesus and then deny that relationship by not praying? The absence of prayer is just as hypocritical as the acting of prayer for a Christian.

So two application points for us: First, would we still pray if no-one saw, no-one knew? And Second, is the absence of prayer in our lives just as hypocritical?

But while we’re in this wider section on hypocrisy in religious devotion, in alms, prayer and fasting, we should notice that Jesus singles out prayer for special treatment. He has more to teach us on how to pray - and how not to pray - beyond just avoiding hypocrisy. Look with me at v7 Mt 6:7 and we get item two on Jesus’ list of how not to pray:

Matthew 6:7 NIV

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

Don’t keep on babbling, multiplying words. That’s not how to pray, not what will get you heard.

Now I have to be honest here, this is a bit of a relief to me as someone who’s just not very good at praying. Jesus gives us something liberating: the power of prayer isn’t proportional to its length chart you know, sometimes it’s easy to imagine our “prayer power” chart looking like this: short prayers? poor prayers. Long prayers? Powerful prayers! if I can just make it to 12 minutes, a significant biblical number for those in the know, the answer’s gotta’ be a yes!

Or you make the chart about eloquence or vocabulary - you know, it’s easy to think prayers that roll off the tongue in beautiful iambic pentameter, or prayers where you need a dictionary to understand everything are the prayers that get God’s attention - he’s like “ooh, that’s a keeper,” and notes it down in his book of epic prayers. And my lame “God, I don’t know what to do. help”, well, that’s just not getting anywhere.

But when we think like that, when that’s our “theory of prayer”, of how it functions, we’re totally wrong. It’s not “many words that gets us heard”. Or “fancy words that gets us heard” either - the words Jesus is about to give us in the Lord’s Prayer are very simple. Neither does Jesus tell us "keep it short and that’ll get the job done,” though, or “look, you really need to avoid repetition if you want God to answer your prayers” - because it’s repetition that’s suggested by the word ‘babble’.

Instead the key thing Jesus wants us to know about prayer is that our Father already knows what we need Mt 6:8.

Matthew 6:8 NIV

Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Prayer isn’t informing God of something he’s otherwise ignorant of, or bringing to his attention something that he might otherwise overlook. That makes sense,right? Not very God-like if you don’t know what’s going on, or can’t keep track of everything - and part of the amazing glory of our God is the truth that he both knows everything that’s going on and is quite able to stay on top of it all despite the vastness.

But still we are actually to ask God about our needs - Jesus is just about to teach us to pray “give us this day our daily bread” - and food is perhaps the most obvious human need, and a need we certainly don’t need to remind God of, as if he forgot. Big question, then: if God already knows, why pray?

Why does he want us to pray? why does he teach us to ask him about our needs - needs that he already know of? Is he, like, stingy dad? and we have to persuade him we’re worth it? Nope - he’s generous and loving. He gave his own son for us - given that, how can we imagine he’d withhold anything good, the Bible challenges us.

So if God already knows, why pray? I want to give you three big answers: First, connection.

One commentator writes “We don’t need to inform the Lord, nor convince the Lord. We just need to connect with the Lord.” Our Father knows what we need before we ask, right? But what we don’t always grasp is just how much we need connection with him. That’s a strong way of thinking about what prayer actually is: connection with the Lord. A relational connection with God. Live in a particular moment of our life. Together with God in it.

My wife is my wife whether we’re together in the room or not. Whether we’re chatting or not. But there’s something fundamentally different about the moment she walks into the room with me, or picks up my call and we’re connected together. Prayer is the actual experience of a relational connection with God. It’s not about informing him about his universe, or getting stuff out of him. It’s connection. Wayne Grudem, a big brained thinker guy describes prayer as “personal communication with God.”

Yes, God is always there - “never will I leave you, never will I forsake you,” he says. And in theological language we might say he’s omnipresent - present everywhere. But try picturing the moment you begin to pray as a moment when God picks up the phone and you’re together, connected, in conversation. “Hello God”.

So why pray? First, connection. Second, dependency. When we pray, it’s an expression of our dependency on God - and our trust in him. Yes he already knows our needs - but when we pray to him about them, as he’s instructed us to, we recognise and express the fact, the truth, that we are utterly dependent on him to meet them - despite how it might sometimes seem we have resources of our own. Prayer chips away at our independency - every time we pray about something, we’re expressing the truth that we don’t have it under control, that we can’t manage it on our own, that God is God and we are not.

And the reverse holds, too: when I don’t want to pray about something, or don’t feel the need to pray about something, I am effectively saying “don’t worry God, I’ve got this.” And the echo, the response that comes right back out of our heart is “so I don’t need you.” Or worse still, in not praying, I’m saying “you haven’t got this” - there’s no point in praying about it because God’s not in control of it, doesn’t have the power to work on it. In that case, I’m not dependent on God, I’m independent still, just at the mercy of a universe outside of his control.

Why pray? connection. dependency. Last one: prayer changes things. Let me be honest: sometimes I don’t want to pray because I think “What’s the point? It’s not going to change anything. What’s the point in talking to God about it? He already knows and he isn’t going to do anything different. His plan is working itself out and sometimes that’s just gonna’ suck.” Being honest, more often than I’d like, that’s me and prayer: que sera sera - whatever will be will be.

And it’s certainly true that God’s design is sometimes very different from what we’d like, that we’re not going to get the answer we’re hoping for. It’s absolutely not the case that prayer, done right, always changes things, that every answer is yes - even Jesus doesn’t get a yes to every prayer. In the garden he prays “take this cup from me” - but no. Even Paul didn’t get a yes to every prayer - prayed three times for relief from what he called his ‘thorn in the flesh’ only to get the answer ‘no’.

But I’m challenging myself not to assume that ‘no’. And I’m challenging you, too. Because prayer really changes things. In just a few weeks, this same Jesus is going to tell us Mt 7:7 - notice that same word ‘ask’ from today’s passage? No accident.

Matthew 7:7 NIV

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Yes, sometimes we don’t get our answer because we didn’t even bother to ask. James 4:2.

James 4:2 (NIV)

You do not have because you do not ask God.

Because in God’s wisdom he has specifically chosen to work through our prayers.

Let me give you a key example: forgiveness. Now God is not unaware that you and I need forgiveness. Neither is he unable or unwilling to forgive through Christ’s sacrificial death in our place. But God has chosen to make prayer the channel for this forgiveness, the condition for releasing it. 1 Jn 1:9

1 John 1:9 NIV

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

God specifically promises to respond to a prayer of confession with grace on condition of repentance 2 Chr 7:14

2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

This is not the only way prayer changes things, just one demonstrative concrete example where God chooses to work through our prayers.

When our struggle to believe prayer changes things keeps us silent, perhaps reminding ourselves of some realities can help:

Imagine being in the presence of someone powerful in this world, someone influential, with means. Being “in the room where it happens”. Imagine actually having been invited in, given an appointment, given their undivided attention. There they are, sat across the desk from you, attentive, listening. Would you just stay silent? Or speak, try, use the opportunity?

God invites us into his presence, makes time for us, gives us his ear. Would we really not bother showing up? Not bothering saying anything while we’re there? Why would we ever behave that way? When he invites us to call him Father, knows what we need, cares, and tells us to ask?

Why pray? connection. dependency. And prayer changes things.

OU

How do we respond to all this? Duh - let’s pray, right? big idea: pray for your Father’s eyes knowing you have his ear and heart

Let’s be a people who pray in the moment - prayer should be “brief, frequent, intense,” Luther says. Let’s be a people who pray whether others know about it or not.

Next time something comes up in conversation after church, get right on it: Jo’s given us the simple phrase “let’s pray now” to help us dive in. Pray not for their eyes or others around, but for your Father’s eyes, knowing you have his ear.

Next time something comes up in your heart, get right on it yourself: “let me pray now” you might say to yourself, then dive right in wherever you are and whatever you’re up to. Doesn’t need many words. Just pick up the phone and be connected. Recognise your dependency. Just don’t close your eyes if you’re driving.

And next time you don’t want to pray but you should, remember prayer changes things. You’ve been given a private appointment with God - would you really skip it, not bother showing up?

Rather than respond with a song today, it just seems fitting that we have an opportunity to pray instead. Are you ready to pray?

Maybe this would be your first time praying - that’d be cool. God has chosen to let your prayers change things - particularly, bring you forgiveness if you ask. Why not just pick up the phone inside your head and connect with God now. No fancy language needed.[try praying booklet plug] if you’re new to praying or you’d just like a hand to get started, we have these cool little “Try Praying” books which will walk you through some first steps. I’m going to leave some on the edge of the stage here - we’d love you to come pick one up.

Maybe you’ve not prayed for a long time. Maybe you’re angry with God. Maybe praying seems pointless because nothing is going to change anyway. Can I challenge you, pick up the phone. God your Father is there and he knows what you need. You don’t have to be eloquent or gushing - or even say much at all - just pick up the phone.

Maybe you could usefully take some time to connect with God and concentrate on that connection part. Maybe you’re ready for a long chat. Maybe you need to find and feel your dependency again. Maybe God has put something specific on your heart to pray about today. Now is a good time for all that.

Let’s close our eyes, limit our chances of being seen by others, limit the risk of our hears being stirred by that. We’re going to have some minutes of quiet right now and let’s connect with God.

3min

— Q+R notes —

Example of many words / babbling: 1 Ki 18:26-29 prophets of Baal cry out all day long as if they were “badgering a reluctant deity”

Notice how different Christian prayer is from prayer in other religions.

Luther: “prayer should be brief, frequent, intense”

Prayer is commanded in v6 & for example:

devote ourselves to prayer (Col 4:2)

pray on all occasions (Eph 6:18)

pray continually (1 Thes 5:17; cf. Luke 18:1; Romans 12:12).

Emphasis on God’s presence even in the secret place - “your Father who is unseen” lit: in secret i.e. there when no-one else is.

Unanswered prayer:

Jesus Lk 22:42

Paul 2 Cor 12:8-9

David 2 Sam 12:16, 18

Three simple guides for prayer:

in faith Mt21:22 // Jam 1:6

in righteousness 1 Pet 3:12 // Ps 66:18 having forgiven others Mt 6:14-15

in line with God’s will cf 1 Jn 5:14-15 and modelled by Jesus Mt 6:10 // Mt 26:39