Grief and The Goodness Of God
Notes
Transcript
We are in the midst of Memorial Day Weekend.
Memorial Day is a day where men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military, are honored.
It was originally known as Decoration Day, originating in the years following the Civil War and ultimately became a federal holiday in 1971.
Many Americans observe Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades.
While some common aspects of Memorial Day have crept in over the years (i.e. cookouts in celebration of the start of summer), it must not be forgotten that our freedom to enjoy such luxury was bought with a high price. The ultimate price.
Prayer
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the opportunity to gather this morning and worship you.
Thank you for the freedom we have in this country to do so, knowing that millions of Christians around the world do not have such freedom.
Thank you for the men and women who have served faithfully in our military, and have laid down their lives by serving our country.
We have been richly blessed.
Help us not to forget.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
While a majority of people have thoughts of gratitude and thankfulness on Memorial Day, there are others where Memorial Day conjures up feelings of grief and sadness.
The children of men and women who died in battle, and did not get to know their mom and dad
Spouses whose loved ones went off to fight, not realizing it would be the last time they would see them
Women who were pregnant when their husband was killed, leaving them to grieve his death and raise their child
Combat veterans who lost friends and fellow soldiers in battle
This is the very real situation for many people at this time of year.
And it brings to light a reality that we would much rather forget:
The Occurrences Of Grief
The Occurrences Of Grief
Grief is normal
Grief is an all-consuming, universal human experience that takes many forms.
Parents grieve a child whose life is cut short
Children grieve a parent whose memory fades
Childless couples grieve what could have been and may never be
The ill and elderly grieve losing health and independence
And if we’re not the ones grieving, we’re an onlooker to someone else’s grief.
Grief is a natural response to pain and loss.
But it’s not just a human response to a difficult situation, we see from Scripture that grief serves a purpose.
It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.
A funeral is not usually a time of rejoicing or celebration. Typically, the people who attend a funeral are mourning the loss of a loved one.
However, as Solomon is alluding to in Ecclesiastes, it is typically at a funeral that a person is more likely to get a refreshed perspective on life.
As they observe the mourners, they can see how impactful of a life the person led.
As they hear how the deceased is spoken of, they can find out what was important to them.
As they look at pictures, they can see how involved they were in other people’s lives or what was important to them. What they enjoyed doing.
And as a result of this observation, the person is left wondering,
“How will my funeral go?”
“What will people say or think of me?”
“Does my life reflect more of me and less of Jesus?”
Not only does grief serve a purpose in our lives, we can rest assured that it is temporary.
Grief has its purpose but it also has its limit.
Psalm 30:5 (ESV)
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
There are some moments when all language feels wholly uninspired, lifeless, and incredibly deficient at addressing emotional anguish in the aftermath of abject tragedy.
Words often fail to comfort those coping with insurmountable loss.
This is one reason why there must be…
The Outpouring Of Grief
The Outpouring Of Grief
Grief should be expressed
We should never seek to hold in our grief and pain from loss. Rather, we need to be honest about our emotions.
Consider Naomi in the book of Ruth.
Ruth 1:20–21 (ESV)
She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”
Notice that Naomi didn’t attempt to sweep life’s challenges aside and convince everyone that everything was fine.
She was very honest about her bitterness and pain.
Also, consider David.
Psalm 13:1–3 (ESV)
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death
Psalm 88:1–3 (ESV)
O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.
David felt forgotten, betrayed, alone, and completely disregarded, and he let God know it.
More than half of the psalms see the writer pouring out his soul to God in moments of great grief, suffering, and adversity.
The Bible gives us ample space to voice our grief.
Mary and Martha poured out their grief to Jesus.
John 11:21, 32
John 11:32 (ESV)
Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died… Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
There is a popular saying among Christians and non-Christians alike: “God will not give you more than you can handle.”
That saying is not biblical and cannot be any farther from the truth.
Consider what the Apostle Paul says...
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.
There is some honestly right there from one of the greatest missionaries in church history.
One thing that is made quite clear: God repeatedly gives us far more than we can handle so we are inclined to fall on him all the more.
The Overcoming of Grief
The Overcoming of Grief
Grief can be conquered
How to we go about overcoming the grief that grips us in life?
First, we must express it to God.
If there is one thing that is clear from the Psalms, it is that we must be honest about our feelings and share them with God.
But Why?
We express our feelings of pain and loss to God because He understands us.
Psalm 139:2 (ESV)
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
We express our feelings of pain and loss to God because He is in control.
Ruth 1:20–21 (ESV)
She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”
Naomi acknowledges God’s hand at work.
She declares that God is right in the midst of her pain.
She has gone through famine, loss, bereavement, doubts, and goodbyes - but because she knew God as the Almighty, she could leave the explanation and responsibility for such bitter trials with Him.
In the midst of her trials, Naomi could not have known what was to come.
When she left Bethlehem, there was famine. When she returned, there was harvest.
Through the clouds of grief, the light of hope began to break as the stage was set for God to provide abundantly for Naomi and Ruth.
When God is at work, even hopelessness may be the doorway to fresh starts and new opportunities.
Finally, we express our feelings of pain and loss to God because He will bear our burdens.
Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
1 Peter 5:6–7 (ESV)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Voicing your grief to God is not only biblically legitimate but also spiritually and emotionally healthy.
You and I were not created to bear the incredible weight of life’s griefs.
Not only must we express our grief to God, but we must also express it to others.
Galatians 6:2 (ESV)
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
The body of Christ is designed to ease the burdens of its individual members, and fellow believers have the ability to carry this out in ways that unbelievers don’t.
We can be a listening ear as well as an active voice to point the grieving person back to God.
Romans 12:15–16 (ESV)
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
Often, the grieving tend to shun others, increasing their feelings of isolation and misery.
One thing Job’s friends got right was when they went to be with him in his mourning.
Job 2:11–13 (ESV)
They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.
Sometimes not having an answer for life’s troubles is okay.
Sometimes there are no words.
Sometimes silence is the answer.
It is in those moments of silence that the gospel can speak to us.
1 Thessalonians 4:13–14 (ESV)
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.
The text does not say that we shouldn’t grieve, just that we should grieve differently that those who have no hope.
Let’s say I don’t know Jesus, and I believe there is no further existence after death. Then if my wife dies, she really is lost to me.
Every single thing that made her who she was is gone forever.
That grief is a black hole.
But for those who are in Christ, we are promised a great hope beyond this world.
John 14:1–3 (ESV)
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
Jesus promises to come again for those who believe in Him.
We are going to be brought to a place where we will dwell with Him forever.
And in the end, there will be no more pain and no more sorrow.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”