Bullying

Philippians 2:3–4 (NIV) 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

An Ugly Truth

Bullying is the subject of our table talk today. Maybe it has been a while since you have felt the pain of bullying. If so, let’s take a moment and explore what it may look like in today’s world…

Play video: Bullying: Stop It… 0:00-6:22

That tears at our hearts. What would you do if that were your child? How does it make you feel as a parent? As a grandparent?

Bullying is a Real-Life Struggle for Many Families

Bullying is as old as the human struggle with sin. In this video we see the effect on the lives of 2 young ladies. These girls are likely the joy of their families and it would break the hearts of their parents to hear about the hurt that they are experiencing. It breaks our hearts watching it.

We think about the bully as the terrorist of the school playground, but it is actually far more reaching than that. There are too many places where bullying is experienced to list them. Let it be enough to realize that it takes place from the board room to the playground.

“…researchers define bullying as unwanted, repeated aggressive behavior between two people with a power imbalance. Essentially, a bully tries to make himself or herself feel better by putting another person down.

There are four types of bullying:

1. Physical bullying includes hitting, pushing, or tripping. (the mob at San Clemente)

2. Verbal bullying includes insulting, taunting, or harassing.

3. Social bullying includes spreading rumors about someone, leaving someone out of an event, or embarrassing someone publicly.

4. Cyberbullying involves harassing someone through digital technology or social media.”[1]

When you look at the 4 types of bullying, it is easy to recognize that bullying is all around us. And, sadly, we can all probably acknowledge that we have been bullied, watched bullying, or been the bully ourselves at one time or another.

How Can Christian Parents Respond?

When a child is being bullied it is hard for parents to respond. On one hand, we realize that there have always been and will always be bullies and a child needs to learn to cope with it to some degree. On the other hand, we want to protect our children from pain and, hopefully, nothing more serious. So, it is a tough place to be.

I’ve recommended this book before, “A Rebel’s Manifesto”, written by Dr. Sean McDowell. It offers some great insight and help to parents. Let’s listen to what he has to say:

Play Video: “How Should Christians Think About Bullying? 3 Approaches” – Dr. Sean McDowell. 0:00-3:23.

McDowell makes some excellent points in this video.

First, Bullying is real.

70% of young people have witnessed bullying. Smart phones have amplified it.

Secondly, Humans are made in the image of God.

Bullying treats those who are made in the image of God disrespectfully.

Third, All of Us Have a Role

The bully – Stop it! Seek repentance. (spouse, bosses, kids, older children bullying their parents)

Bullied- You are not alone. Seek help.

Onlookers – These are those who are watching but have done nothing. Commit moving forward to not let others be bullied. Repent from your failure to do something.

Fourthly, Seek Out and Care for Those Who Have Been Bullied.

Fifthly, Teach All of Your Children to Have Healthy Christ-Like Hearts

We need to learn ‘language’ to help our children navigate through the difficulty of being bullied but also learn timeless truth that will add them as adults.

Bullying Isn’t ‘Loving Others’

Scripture calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Love involves sacrificing power for the well-being of another. Love is others centered.

Bullying involves using power for selfish gain. Bullying is self-centered.

Could the two be more opposed?

Christians Are Called to Care About Justice and Defend Others

Jesus cared for the marginalized in his society—women, children, the sick, the poor, and those who were demon-possessed. James says to care about orphans and widows, two more marginalized groups (see James 1:27). Why care about “lowly” people who were frequently rejected by society? Because … every human being is made in the image of God and deserves dignity, honor, and respect (see Genesis 1:27).

We Are Called to Be Imitators of Christ

Jesus modeled this in his interactions with lepers.

After Jesus gives His powerful Sermon on the Mount and he begins once again on His way they find themselves confronted with a leper who asks to be healed. In first-century Palestine, lepers were considered cursed by God. They were required to live outside of cities, have no contact with anyone, and cry out, “Unclean! Unclean!” if anyone approached (see Leviticus 13:45-46). Because of their loathsome skin disease, lepers were truly societal outcasts. Yet one leper risked everything by approaching Jesus[…]”[2]

Matthew 8:1–2 NIV

When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

G. Campbell Morgan contextualizes the scene:

…to the Hebrew people leprosy was the ultimate symbol of moral malady. The whole ceremonial law emphasized this fact. Because of its nature, of its insidious beginnings, of its slow processes, of its destructive; power, and the ultimate ruin wrought by it, it became a powerful symbol of moral depravity. It was a disease that baffled human skill. It is very arresting in passing to note that those dealing with the disease to-day are beginning to find that if taken in its early stages it may be cured. It nevertheless was in the ancient economy, a type of the uttermost moral depravity. All this makes the contrast the most arresting. The Lord Himself, having delivered His ethic, stands confronting a man suffering from the disease which in itself is the supreme symbol of moral depravity. Holiness in the flesh is standing face to face with sin in the flesh in its most terrible manifestation. ”[3]

I’m not saying that people that are bullied are ‘lepers’. What I am trying to point out is the response of Jesus to even the most marginalized people in the entire nation of Israel. What does Jesus do?

Matthew 8:3 NIV

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.

What a powerful message to His disciples and to us today! This is what the Gospel message looks like! Jesus did not perpetuate the hopelessness of the man. He valued him.

What if this leper had been within earshot of the Sermon on the Mount. Would ‘blessed are the merciful’ be extended to him? Were ‘the poor in spirit’ really blessed? Jesus set a timeless example.

What will we do with the power that we have been given? Will we defend the marginalized?

You Can Help!

Everyone has a responsibility to act.

If you are a bully: stop. There is no room in the Christian faith for belittling or harassing another human being.

If you are being bullied, reach out for help. It’s not your fault. Things can get better. Please tell a trusted adult.

If you are a bystander and you see someone being bullied, say something. You are not a tattletale. Tattletales want people to get in trouble. Speaking up for someone being bullied is the opposite. If you see a Muslim student being harassed for wearing a hijab, speak up. If you see an LGBTQ student being mocked, say something. Stand up against bullying, even if it’s against someone you don’t readily relate to. Bullying is wrong, no matter who it is done to.

Respond in a Christlike Manner.

If you are being bullied, or have a friend who is being bullied, it can be tempting to seek revenge. Yet remember, God is the One who will ultimately bring justice (see Romans 12:19). As difficult as it may be, Jesus calls us to love our enemies and to pray for them (see Matthew 5:44). Kindness and gentle words can be powerful (see Proverbs 25:15).

Does this mean you can’t defend yourself if you are being bullied? No! … let me encourage you that it is okay to defend yourself in circumstances where there is no other option. As my friend Neal Hardin said, “Sticking up for yourself may be difficult to do, but if you are able to stay calm and respond in a loving manner, then you have every right as an image-bearer of God to defend yourself and speak the truth. You are worth being defended.”[5]

Reach Out to Those Who Have Been Bullied.

If you know someone who has been bullied, befriend them. Reach out and show compassion, comfort, and care. A kind word can make a world of difference to someone who is hurting. As the apostle Paul said, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).

Bullying is a big issue today. Yet if we are attentive to the needs of others, each one of us can make a difference in the life of another human being.”

Will We Stop It?

How did it play out?

Play – “Bullying – Stop It”: 06:23-10:04.

If we hear the Word of God, feel the conviction of the Spirit, do nothing about it; we are a hard-hearted people. Bullying is unwanted, repeated aggressive behavior between two people with a power imbalance.

James 4:17 NIV

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

As Christians we are called to a higher walk. Let’s do it!

If you are able to speak into someone’s life who is being bullied, let them know you see them and care. It is real.

Let’s do the work of Christ by stopping bullying when we see it.

[1] Excerpt From: Sean McDowell. “A Rebel's Manifesto.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/a-rebels-manifesto/id1591049388 [2]Ibid. McDowell. [3] Excerpt From: G. Campbell Morgan. “The Great Physician.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-great-physician/id1624127162