Oneness in Marriage

1 Corinthians 7:1-9. "Oneness in Marriage". Ajax Alliance Church. Sunday June 11th, 2023. 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. [7:1] Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." [2] But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. [3] The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4] For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. [5] Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. [6] Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. [7]I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. [8] To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. [9] But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (ESV) An arch consists of two pillars that curve upward and fuse together, forming a single architectural support that can carry enormous amounts of weight. In fact, architects and builders know that an arch is many times stronger and can thus uphold far more weight than two separate pillars with a lintel (or crossbeam) placed between them. This is a beautiful metaphor for marriage. Just as two pillars in an arch lean in and fuse together at the apex to create greater strength, a woman and man, truly committed and united to one another, become stronger together than they could ever be apart. (https://beholdvancouver.org/resources/a-healthier-understanding-of-oneness-in-marriage) For the Corinthians that the Apostle Paul wrote to, this concept of marital oneness was foreign from the context of what they saw in Corinth. Written from Ephesus during the Apostle Paul's third missionary journey from 53-57 AD, 1 Corinthians 7 commences the second part or division of this Epistle, or, "the discussion of those points which had been submitted to the apostle in a letter from the church at Corinth, for his instruction and advice. A strategic commercial center, Corinth was one of the largest cities in the Roman world and one of the most corrupt (Acts 18:1). Full of false teachers, immature believers and people of all kind of ideas, the Christians in Corinth got into a lot of difficult situations considering Marriage. The question is, since so many ideas exist on marriage, is oneness possible in Marriage. Is independent singleness the answer or do we abandon the concept of oneness in favour of as open relations as we possibly can? Can you even know how to build spiritual intimacy in your marriage? Starting with a question of singleness, in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9, the Apostle Paul begins to show how committed believers can have a oneness in marriage. He shows this through the four elements of an: 1) Observation of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:1), 2) Qualification of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:2), 3) Obligation of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:3-5), 4) Expectation of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:6-9) Committed believers can have a oneness in marriage as seen through an: 1) Observation of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:1) 1 Corinthians 7:1. [7:1] Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." (ESV) In 1 Corinthians 5:9, Paul referenced an earlier letter than he sent the Corinthians which has been lost. He said that the Corinthians we not to associate with sexually immoral people. Here in 1 Corinthians 7, we see his response to their questions with the statement that he is now going to address "matters about which they wrote". The matters to which Paul refers are translated different ways. The NIV over translates it, saying that "it is good for a man not to marry". Literally, the idiom refers to one to "touch a woman". It occurs nine times in Greek antiquity, ranging across six centuries and a variety of writers, and in every instance, without ambiguity it refers to having sexual intercourse. It is possible that we should take the words It is good ... as a quotation from what the Corinthians had written. Good does not here mean 'necessary' or 'morally better' (cf. vv. 8, 26; Gen. 2:18; Jonah 4:3, 8). It is simply something to be commended, rather than blame (Morris, L. (1985). Vol. 7: 1 Corinthians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (105). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.) The activity refers to the activity generally to a anthrōpos (man) instead of the specific expression anēr (husband). Moreover, the Greek has the indefinite noun gynē (woman), which does not mean "wife." The Corinthian slogan, therefore, applied to any man and any woman (Kistemaker, S. J., & Hendriksen, W. (1953-2001). Vol. 18: Exposition of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. New Testament Commentary (210). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.) * Lest we think this directive only refers to husband and wife, these are instructions to everyone. As mentioned, the activity "to have sexual relations with a woman/To touch a woman" in other translations was a common Jewish euphemism for sexual intercourse. The phrase is used in that sense in passages such as Gen. 20:6; Ruth 2:9; and Prov. 6:29. Paul uses it to state that it is a good thing for Christians not to have sexual intercourse, that is, to be single, unmarried. He does not say, however, that singleness is the only good condition or that marriage is in any way wrong or inferior to singleness. The writer to the Hebrews said in Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (ESV). Sexual immorality is rampant in Corinth, and it is possible that some were teaching that it was permissible to have sex outside marriage (cf. 6:12-20). Paul affirms that avoiding sexual intercourse is good, but he goes on to emphasize marriage as the proper place for sexual relations (7:2-5). (Mangum, D., ed. (2020). Lexham Context Commentary: New Testament (1 Co 7:1-7). Lexham Press.) Please turn to Genesis 2 God institutes marriage and declares oneness. It was the false teachers, reported in 1 Timothy 4:3 that were forbidding marriage. God allowed for singleness and did not require marriage for everyone under the Old Covenant, but Jewish tradition not only looked on marriage as the ideal state but looked on singleness as disobedience of God's command to marry. All people need companionship and God ordained marriage to be, among other things, the most fulfilling and common means of companionship. We see this design in Genesis 2: Genesis 2:18-24. [18] Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." [19] Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. [20] The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. [21] So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. [22] And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. [23] Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." [24] Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (ESV) * What then is the oneness mentioned? The Hebrew word in Genesis 2:24 (dābaq) behind hold fast/cleave in refers to a strong bonding together of objects and often was used to represent gluing or cementing. It could also have the connotation of following closely. The two ideas were, in fact, sometimes carried together, as in Ruth's clinging to Naomi (Ruth 1:14) and the men of Judah remaining steadfast to David (2 Sam. 20:2). Several times the term is used of the Israelites' holding to the Lord in love and obedience (Deut. 10:20; 11:22; 13:4; Josh. 22:5; 23:8). Celibacy is the ability of an individual to live without conjugal relationships. Genesis 2:18 indicates that God's plan in the beginning was for man to have a helper suitable to him, a counterpart and companion with whom to share life and responsibility. With sin's entry, however, the paradise God designed for man was thwarted and distorted, bringing many changes, even in that most intimate human relationship Notice how the two ... become one flesh. They are therefore indivisible and inseparable, except through death. In God's eyes they become the total possession of each other, one in mind and spirit, in goals and direction, in emotion and will. When or if they have a child it becomes the perfect emblem and demonstration of their oneness, because that child is a unique product of the fusion of two people into one flesh and carries the combined traits of both parents. (Believer's Study Bible. 1991 (W. A. Criswell, P. Patterson, E. R. Clendenen, D. L. Akin, M. Chamberlin, D. K. Patterson & J. Pogue, Ed.) (electronic ed.) (1 Co 7:7). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.). Illustration: Much confusion still exists over marriage: Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?". "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life". The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?". * When we understand God's design for marriage, it is a design for our joy. Committed believers can have a oneness in marriage as seen through an: 2) Qualification of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:2), 1 Corinthians 7:2. [2] But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. (ESV) Paul is now speaking of the danger of fornication for those who are single. Becoming "one flesh" in the sex act is not what constitutes marriage. If that were true, there would be no such thing as fornication, because as soon as an unmarried man and woman engaged in the sex act they would be automatically married, rather than guilty of wickedness. When sexual desire is unfulfilled, it can be very strong, and there is great temptation to sexual immorality for those who are not married, especially in societies-such as that of ancient Rome and our own-where sexual license is freely practiced and glorified. Please turn back to 1 Corinthians 6 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality does not imply that every Corinthian church member was immoral, although many of them were. Although the Greek word here for sexual immorality porneia can refer to any illicit sexual behavior, Paul probably refers to prostitution here (see 6:9, 12 and note, 6:15-16). Some female believers may have deprived their husbands of sexual relations. In response, these men sought out prostitutes (Barry, J. D., Grigoni, M. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Mangum, D., & Whitehead, M. M. (2012). Faithlife Study Bible (1 Co 7:2). Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software.). In 1 Corinthians 6, we see God's design for our bodies: 1 Corinthians 6:13-20. [13]"Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"--and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. [14] And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. [15] Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! [16] Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh." [17] But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. [18] Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. [19] Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, [20] for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (ESV) * In 1 Corinthians 6 we see: the purpose of the body: for the Lord v.13, Destiny of the Body: eternal life v.14, The Church as the Body: The effect of sexual sin on the corporate body v. 15, Idolatry of the Body: The uniting of God with a harlot v. 16-17, Sinning against one's Body: It's a sin with the body, in the body against the body v. 18, Ownership of the Body: v. 19-20 Paul's purpose in 1 Corinthians 7 is to stress the reality of the sexual temptations of singleness and to acknowledge that they have a legitimate outlet in marriage. Therefore, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. They are to practice monogamy. Each man is to have a wife and each woman is to have a husband. This would exclude polygamy, for a "shared" husband would not be "her own" husband (Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (2199). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles). By the way, these words also clearly rule out all so called homosexual marriages. (Ellsworth, R. (1995). Strengthening Christ's Church: The Message of 1 Corinthians. Welwyn Commentary Series (117). Darlington, England: Evangelical Press.) Proverbs 5 talks of God's design for the delight of marriage: Proverbs 5:15-19 [15]Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. [16] Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? [17] Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. [18] Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, [19]a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.(ESV) Illustration: When Actor Jack Benney first began to date his future wife, she received from him a red rose everyday of their courtship and he continued to send them every day for their married life. When he died, the roses kept coming every day. His wife contacted the florist to notify them of Jack's death so that they could discontinue bringing the roses. They said, No you don't understand. Your husband, prior to his death, made provision for you to receive a red rose every day for the rest of your life. Committed believers can have a oneness in marriage as seen through an: 3) Obligation of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:3-5) 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. [3]The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4] For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. [5] Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (ESV) That celibacy is wrong for those who are married should be an obvious truth, but it was not obvious to some of the Corinthian believers. Because of their erroneous belief in the spiritual superiority of total sexual abstinence, some members in the church practiced it even within marriage. Some overzealous husbands apparently had decided to set themselves apart wholly for God. In doing so, however, they neglected or even denied their responsibilities to their wives, especially in the area of sexual relations. Some wives had done the same thing. The practice of deprivation probably was most common when the spouse was not a believer. Married believers are not to sexually deprive their spouses, whether or not the spouse is a Christian. The apostle made no exception to the instruction that the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. He specifically says in V. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband In Graeco-Roman culture, husbands dominated their wives and only had sexual relations with their wives when they wished to do so. However, Paul advises husbands to meet the sexual needs of their wives as well (Barry, J. D., Grigoni, M. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Mangum, D., & Whitehead, M. M. (2012). Faithlife Study Bible (1 Co 7:3). Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software.). God holds all marriage to be sacred and He holds sexual relations between husband and wife not only to be sacred but proper and even obligatory. Paul makes it clear that physical relations within marriage are not simply a privilege and a pleasure but a responsibility. Husbands and wives have a duty to give sexual satisfaction to each other. There is no distinction between men and women. The husband has no more rights in this regard than the wife. In a fallen world, we tend to major on our rights and, therefore, within marriage our marital rights. The special perspective the Christian faith gives to human relationships is that it teaches us to emphasize rather our duties. A secret of successful marriage is not to insist upon what our partner owes us but to focus on our duty to our marriage partner. That approach makes a world of difference and promotes harmony instead of discord. When either partner in a marriage asks, 'What are my rights?' seeds of discontent are sown. On the other hand, when, instead, the question is, 'What are my duties?' a good foundation is built and strengthened (Prime, D. (2005). Opening up 1 Corinthians. Opening Up Commentary (63). Leominister: Day One Publications.). Paul is not speaking here of conjugal 'rights', from the viewpoint of demands of the recipient. Rather, he places the emphasis on the giver's responsibility to meet the sexual needs of the marriage partner. Sexual activity for the Christian is not to be centered in oneself but in the other. Paradoxically, though, the more this is for the pleasure of the other the greater the pleasure to the giver. Nonetheless, each partner needs to be sensitive to those seasons of life when having one's own needs met is not easy for the other. Where partners find difficulties in their sexual expression it should be a matter of loving discussion and tender understanding between them, perhaps with medical help sought (Barnett, P. (2000). 1 Corinthians: Holiness and Hope of a Rescued People. Focus on the Bible Commentary (109-110). Ross-shire, Scotland: Christian Focus Publications.). Please turn to Ephesians 5 In verse 4 Paul reinforces the mutuality of obligation. It is a reciprocal right. [4]For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. The present tense of exousiazei (have authority over) indicates a general statement that is always true. Spouses' mutual authority over each other's bodies is continuous; it lasts throughout marriage. In the normal realms of life, a Christian's body is his own, to take care of and to use as a gift from God. And in the deepest spiritual sense, of course, it belongs entirely to God (Rom. 12:1). But in the marital realm, it also belongs to the marriage partner. Partners in a marriage no longer have the right to autonomous existence (cf. vss. 32-33). Thus, it is sin to (unjustifiably) sexually reject one's partner! (KJV Bible Commentary. 1994 (E. E. Hindson & W. M. Kroll, Ed.) (2297). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.) We see in Ephesians 5 God's design for the relationship between husbands and wives as patterned by Christ and His Church: Ephesians 5:22-33. [22]Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27]so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV) * Both genders are equally created in God's image (Gen. 1:26-28) and heirs together of eternal life (Gal. 3:28-29). The grounds of the wife's submission to her husband and is modeled on Christ's headship over the church. Thus, husbands are to love their wives in a self-sacrificial manner, following the example of Christ, who "gave himself up for" the church in loving self-sacrifice. Clearly the biblical picture of a husband laying down his life for his wife is directly opposed to any kind of male tyranny or oppression. The husband is bound by love to ensure that his wife finds their marriage a source of rich fulfillment and joyful service to the Lord. The command in 1 Corinthians 7:5: "Do not deprive one another 'Deprive' (apostereite), a stronger term than, say, 'abstain', which Paul might have employed, suggests that there is something dishonest about the severance of sexual relations within marriage, the present tense ('Do not') suggests that some Corinthians are acting in this fashion (Naylor, P. (2004). A Study Commentary on 1 Corinthians. EP Study Commentary (162-163). Darlington, England; Webster, NY: Evangelical Press.). Sexual relations between a husband and his wife are God-ordained and commanded. The verb Deprive connoted stealing, defrauding or robbing an individual of his or her possession or in this instance, of one's rights. The expression is one of a debt. It is what is owed the other. It is in the present tense so it is a debt that is never paid and which we always owe. If one party defrauds the other, he or she violates God's creational ordinance (Gen. 1:28; 2:24) and instead of being spiritual, is sinful. Paul's emphasis, it must be noted, is not on "You owe me," but on "I owe you." (Fee, G. D. (1987). The First Epistle to the Corinthians. The New International Commentary on the New Testament (280). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.) The only exception to the provision of sexual relations to when it is both mutual and temporary: except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer. As in the case of fasting, if both partners agree to abstain from sexual activity for a brief period to allow one or both of them to spend time in intensive prayer, they may do so. Both the ideas of a specific period of time and of a specific purpose for prayer are implied. The length of time for physical separation and the specific need and purpose of the prayer should be agreed on in advance. Such Examples would include such situations where God may give us a strong burden about a person or a ministry, a burden that requires our undivided attention and concentrated prayer. Grief or serious illness, for example, may lead to this. Or we may fall into a particularly harmful sin and need to withdraw for awhile to get straightened out with the Lord. When such urgent spiritual needs are past, normal marital relationships are to resume. Husbands and wives then are to come together again. The reason for coming back together is explicit: so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. When the time of concentrated prayer is over, normal desires and temptations will return, often with greater intensity. Satan knows that Christians can be especially vulnerable after a mountaintop experience. Our defenses are apt to be down and our pride may be up. Therefore, unless it is by mutual consent, for a specific prayer need and for a brief period of time, sexual abstinence can become a tool of Satan. The longer couples abstain from sex, the greater the risk that one partner will fall into sexual immorality (Pratt, R. L., Jr. (2000). I & II Corinthians (Vol. 7, p. 114). Broadman & Holman Publishers.). Illustration: People tend to think that the puritans destroyed the concept of sex. There are accounts like the one of James Matlock who lived in New England in the 17th century. He was placed under church discipline because he wasn't having sex with his wife. The wife complained to the church elders that her husband wasn't fulfilling his marital duty to her. They investigated the matter and then excommunicated Matlock. They told him he would remain under church discipline until he began satisfying his wife's sexual needs. Most people think that Puritans were prudish and anti-sex. They were actually very biblical in their approach to practical areas of the Christian life. Finally, committed believers can have a oneness in marriage as seen through an: 4) Expectation of Oneness (1 Corinthians 7:6-9) 1 Corinthians 7:6-9. [6]Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. [7]I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. [8] To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. [9] But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (ESV) The Now is adversative and qualifies Paul's preceding comment. The Greek (sungnōmē) translated here as a concession, means "to think the same thing as someone, to have a joint opinion, a common mind or understanding." It can also mean "awareness." I say this refers back to what has just been said about marriage. Paul was saying that he was aware of the goodness of being single and celibate, yet aware also of the privileges and responsibilities of marriage. His comments were not meant as a command for every believer to be married. Therefore, given the context the concession (TEV's "permission") relates to the temporary abstinence from sexual relations (Ellingworth, P., Hatton, H., & Ellingworth, P. (1995). A handbook on Paul's first letter to the Corinthians (p. 147). United Bible Societies.). In one sense, Paul wished in verse 7 that all believers could be unmarried, as I myself am. He said that in light of the great freedom and independence he had as a single person to serve Christ but he did not expect all believers to be unmarried. He did not expect all who were then single to stay single. And for those who were already married it would be wrong to live as if they were single, to become celibate while married. Paul was probably married at one time because of the cultural pressure from his Jewish background and the implications of Acts 26:10, where Paul seems to be a member of the Sanhedrin ("I cast a vote"). If he was part of the Sanhedrin, he had to be married. (Utley, R. J. (2002). Paul's Letters to a Troubled Church: I and II Corinthians: Vol. Volume 6 (p. 83). Bible Lessons International.). Although celibacy is good for Christians who are not married, it is a gift from God that He does not give to every believer. Just as it is wrong to misuse a gift that we have, it is also wrong to try to use a gift we do not have. For a person who does not have the gift of celibacy, trying to practice it brings moral and spiritual frustration. But for those who have it as God's gift, singleness, like all His gifts, is a great blessing. Since, each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another, Our purpose should be to discover the gifts he has given us and to use those gifts faithfully and joyfully in His service, without either envying or disparaging the gifts we do not have. By pointing out that God gifts different people in different ways, Paul subverted any possibility that reproach might fall on those who married. Thus, he removed the opportunity for those who remained single to become prideful in their ability to resist passion. (Pratt, R. L., Jr. (2000). I & II Corinthians (Vol. 7, p. 114). Broadman & Holman Publishers.) Please turn to Matthew 19 This charismatic gift of sexual self-control is valuable also in the married state, for it frees from all temptation (last clause of v. 5). The fact that in this state such control does not mean avoidance of all legitimate sex contact v. 3 places beyond question. Nor is this ideal of self-control something that is exceptional in Paul's case, perhaps the result of his life as a bachelor, for Jesus himself speaks about the same matter and in the same way (Lenski, R. C. H. (1963). The interpretation of St. Paul's First and Second epistle to the Corinthians (281). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Publishing House.) Matthew 19:10-12. [10] The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." [11] But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. [12] For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it." (ESV) Having laid down the general principle, in verse 8, Paul now proceeds to deal with specific classes. He begins with those who have no marriage tie. Paul talks about two categories of single people: the unmarried and widows. The word unmarried is a masculine plural word in Greek, and the word widows is a feminine plural word. Widows (chērais) (1 Ti. 5) are single people who formerly were married but were severed from that relationship by the death of the spouse. That leaves the matter of the unmarried. Who are they? (Morris, L. (1985). Vol. 7: 1 Corinthians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (107). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.) The term unmarried (agamos, from "wedding, or marriage," with the negative prefix a) is used only four times in the New Testament, and all four are in this chapter. Verse 34 uses it more definitively: "the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin." We assume Paul has two distinct groups in mind: whoever the unmarried are, they are not virgins. Verse 8 speaks to "the unmarried and to widows," so we can conclude that the unmarried are not widows. The clearest insight comes in the use of the term in verses 10 and 11: "the wife should not leave [divorce] her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried. ...)." The term unmarried indicates those who were previously married, but are not widows; people who are now single, but are not virgins. Paul is speaking to people who were divorced before coming to Christ. They wanted to know if they had the right to marry. His word to them is that it is good for them who are now free of marriage to remain even as I. By that statement Paul affirms that he was formerly married. Because marriage seems to have been required for membership in the Sanhedrin, to which Paul may once have belonged, because he had been so devoutly committed to Pharisaic tradition (Gal. 1:14), and because he refers to one who could have been his wife's mother (Rom. 16:13), we may assume that he was once married. His statement here to the previously married confirms that-even as I. Likely he was a widower. Paul applies this maxim only to the unmarried, not the married, and only to the unmarried who have the gift of celibacy. He does not make it a universal rule (Garland, D. E. (2003). 1 Corinthians (p. 272). Baker Academic.). Finally, if a single believer as indicated in verse 9, cannot exercise self-control, that person should seek to marry. If a Christian is single but does not have the gift of singleness and is being strongly tempted sexually, he or she should pursue marriage. They should marry in the Greek is in the aorist imperative, indicating a strong command. "Get married," Paul says, better to marry than to burn with passion. The term means "to be inflamed," and is best understood as referring to strong passion (cf. Rom. 1:27). It is a continuous present: to burn on: continuance in unsatisfied desire (Vincent, M. R. (1887). Vol. 3: Word studies in the New Testament (218). New York: Charles Scribner's Sons.). * A person cannot live a happy life, much less serve the Lord, if he is continually burning with sexual desire-even if the desire never results in actual immorality. And in a society such as Corinth's, or ours, in which immorality is so prevalent and accepted, it is especially difficult not to succumb to temptation. In the final reference, to burn with passion, pyrousthai, has a present and future connotation. Talmudic rabbis together with scholars from the third century to the present have interpreted this verb to refer to burning in Hell. They perceive it as God's righteous judgment on the sinner who continues to violate sexual mores. Few forces are so destructive of oneself or of others as (uncontrolled passion. Like a forest fire that is burning out of control) it is fed by the hopeless lie that the meaning of life is to be found in sexual gratification. Driven by this illusion many crash on through life, bringing misery to themselves and to all others in their path. Sexuality which is expressed in loving care of the partner, in contrast, is magnificently creative. Its energies are directed towards work and homemaking and care of children and carry benefits which are felt far and wide in neighbourhoods and society itself (Barnett, P. (2000). 1 Corinthians: Holiness and Hope of a Rescued People. Focus on the Bible Commentary (110-111). Ross-shire, Scotland: Christian Focus Publications.) (Format note: Some base commentary from MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1984). 1 Corinthians. MacArthur New Testament Commentary (159-161). Chicago: Moody Press.) 9