A Marriage Only God Can Make

God’s Ability

What you are looking at is nothing short of God’s power and faithfulness in bringing two people together under the covenant of marriage.

Neither of us had no real point of reference having both grown up in broken and abusive homes environments.

Our marriage has been over 27 years of learning and growing in God’s wisdom. Here is one of the greatest pieces of wisdom I have learned:

Eccl 7:8-9 “The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not be easily provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

COMMENTARY

The reason the end is better than the beginning is because the end IS WHERE YOU SEE THE outcome. This is why patience and other fruits of THE SPIRIT become such an important quality. WITH ALL OF THE UNKNOWNS AND uncertainties of life, IT MAKES SENSE THAT patience is better than pride. Many years ago after the Lord first laid this scripture on my heart, I wrote this note “if God said the end is better, than that’s what it is…why question him?”

It is the advice Ahab gave to the king of Syria: “One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off” (1 Kgs 20:11). Job also learned this (Job 42:12) as the Lord blessed his later days more than the beginning.

Here is another key point I have realized over the last 30 years:

the puppy love you initially experience at the beginning of a relationship is nothing compared to what God can do after years of listening and obeying Him and allowing the master craftsman to shape my heart.

Steve: i can genuinely and wholeheartedly say Sandy is my best friend, my very best friend - and I mean that in a very profound sense.

When we first met, I was in a state of mind that maybe I won’t find a wife. I will let Sandy tell the story....

Steve and Sandy - (how we met)

Marriage is all about commitment. And there is no secret greater than that.

Greg Laurie - Marriage + Connections (2002)

Here is what you can look forward to when being fully committed by putting God first in marriage:

Produces a love that continually deepens in way only God can do.

TAKING THE LIMITS OFF GOD AND what ONLY HE can do.

He can literally MAKE those dreams of having a rock solid marriage come true

What does it take? (Sandy)

It is more than just reading your bible -

it is asking the Lord for wisdom, it is seeking a friendship with Him.

He is a gentleman and won’t force himself upon you so you we need to knock and God told us the door will be opened.

Matt 7:7-8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

knocking is committing - taking initiative and trusting

it is placing yourself in a position of knowing you cannot do this without the Lord

STEVE

KNOWING THE TRUTH IS FREEDOM - John 17:17 ““Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.”

God has given us everything we will ever need - this is more than a statement - it is an eternal TRUTH

2 Peter 1:3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,

2 Peter 1:4 (TPT)

As a result of this:

magnificent promises that are beyond all price

experience partnership with the divine nature

have escaped the corrupt desires that are of the world.

Proverbs 3:5–6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Ps 118:8 “It is better to trust in the Lord Than to put confidence in man.”

MARRIAGE TIP #1: Take nothing for granted

I remember Bill Cowher saying this, “the minute you think you have arrived in this league, is your first step out the door.”

That can be said also about marriage - you can’t take anything for granted - Phil 3:2 “Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers… we worship God in the Spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh

Whether you walk close with God now or later, you will definitely realize this when taking your last breath:

Phil 3:7 “But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.”

Marriage Tip #2: The Standard Is The Standard (Coach Tomlin)

THIS IS THE LIFE OF FAITH AS A CHRISTIAN - just like there is not compromise with a game plan or certain plays you run on the football field (or someone gets hurt)

Also, like football, there is nothing better than knowing your opponent so well that you can tell which play they are going to run next - WE HAVE EVEN A BETTER ADVANTAGE WITH GOD BECAUSE WE ALREADY KNOW SATAN’S PLAYBOOK -

Knowing your opponent is key - and knowing their objective is critical - every day you wake up there is choice to make - Thank God we don’t have be blindsided

2 Cor 2:11 “lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.”

The enemy has 3 objectives for you, your marriage and your family

John 10:10 ““The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

This weekend, we want to expose his ways and to inject you with God’s promises and His plan for you individually and what he wants to do in your marriage.

As you pursue Jesus/ read and pray etc... YOU CHANGE! Then King Jesus illuminates things to you. It is intoxicating and addicting.

Just like a baby in the womb-we don’t know what’s happening, but God is doing and creating something new and amazing with unlimited potential:

That’s what He will do in you and your marriage

as you commit, God will bring you to a place where you are so enthralled with your relationship with Jesus that you will say to your spouse “if you ever come between me and Jesus, it’s over!” LOL - quote from Jesus Revolution movie.

Marriage is not based on feelings - but it’s a commitment

I already made the decision I chose to love him or her

We had a conversation with this lady named Amy and she was a really dedicated distance Runner and even though she was maybe in her 50s at the time she said to me “yeah I get up every day at 4 am and I go for a run for about an hour” and I said to her, “my goodness! how do you stay so committed to it?” And she said “every day when I get up and my mind wants to talk me out of it, I just say NO I already made that decision, just go.

Marriage is that way. I love him I’ve already made that decision

There are going to have to be some ABSOLUTES in your life.

Marriage Tip #3 - First Fruits

2 Chronicles 32:7–8 NLT

“Be strong and courageous! Don’t be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria or his mighty army, for there is a power far greater on our side! He may have a great army, but they are merely men. We have the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!” Hezekiah’s words greatly encouraged the people.

SAV: Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged of what you see ahead of you, for there is a power far greater on our side! It is The LORD our GOD! To help and fight our battles for us!

Now enter coaching and the battle situations you’re dealing with. Everyday, especially during the season, there will be highs and lows and lots of emotions and intensity.

Hours and hours of your life are spent with a very narrow focus on how to win each week and ultimately winning a championship.

That’s an invitation to the enemy to enter and destroy don’t think a football program makes you exempt from time with God there’s no excuses how you start your day creates first fruits

So if you can just get this one thing as a mindset for this evening and through the weekend and going forward that you can have a successful marriage in football coaching career by putting God first. Nobody is exempt from all of the challenges no matter what we do in life but God has a path and a plan and it’s of success and an expected end that includes your whole family

The main point we want you to take away from tonight’s session is that you can’t have a good marriage without God being at the center of it all. We will be the first to admit that it is impossible in our own strength.

You might survive and you might even stay together, but God’s design for your marriage is that you thrive.

NOTE: 70 mile and hour story - Sandy

Additional quotes to show throughout the day and weekend.

You cannot understand marriage unless you are a Christian.

Life in the Spirit in Marriage Home and Work, 98

David Martyn Lloyd-Jones

There is no estate to which Satan is more opposed as to marriage.

Martin Luther

7646 Married life is a marathon.… It is not enough to make a great start toward long-term marriage. You will need the determination to keep plugging.… Only then will you make it to the end.

James C. Dobson

Love is blind—marriage is the eye-opener.

Anonymous; Croft M. Pentz