Sermon Tone Analysis

Forever . . .

For Real?

The Power of One

Jeff Jones, Senior Pastor

April 9~/11, 2010

 

Mawwiage.

I could say that all day and enjoy it.

Today we do start a new series called Forever, for real?

Anybody have a tattoo you regret?

Anybody ever thought a relationship would last forever, and it didn’t quite make it?

Marriage is designed to be this forever relationship, but that more and more seems more like a fairy tale idea, or for some a nightmare.

Marriage as a concept has taken a really big hit over these last few years, making many ask some very basic questions about the validity of the whole thing.

Watch this short clip from Up in the Air.

I know a lot of you ladies aren’t going to mind looking at George Clooney, but don’t get distracted.

Hear the perspective on marriage in the clip.

Up in the Air Clip

 

How would you sell the concept of marriage?

Or would you even try?

I did a little Googling on marriage, to get people’s current perspective, and there is growing negativity to the concept, which I guess is predictable, with so many people growing up in broken homes, who know the pain of divorce first-hand.

Not too long ago I heard this conversation where someone’s son was eating with a group of his dad’s friends.

He was newly engaged, and they were all giving him a hard time, saying, “Oh man!

Enjoy the months you’ve got left buddy!

Only a few more months, and a life sentence begins.”

You’ve probably been in that conversation before.

In the wake of all this bad branding for marriage, cohabitation, living together without being married, is up over 700% over these last few years.

Yet, marriage is God’s idea, and one that most of us are created to experience.

And today I want us to go back to the beginning, to when marriage was first created, to see what this relationship is all about.

Today we are going to see God’s design, to recapture this concept that has been so ruined and so mistreated and so messed up over the years.

So, if you are single, today is a perfect day for you as you look ahead in life, and if you are married, let’s go in with an open heart and mind as we look at the way this relationship can really work.

Let’s go back to the beginning, back when life was a little simpler and choosing a mate was very simple.

No need for online dating services, because there was just one couple.

Just Adam and Eve.

Turn with me to the book of Genesis, and actually at the beginning of the story there isn’t even an Eve.

Turn with me to Genesis 2.

 

God has created everything.

The days of creation are over, yet there is one thing that is not right.

In 2:18, we read,

 

Slide: ___________________  ) Genesis 2:18

 

/The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.

I will make a helper suitable for him.’

/Then in verse 21,

 

Slide: ___________________  ) Genesis 2: 21-23

/ /

/So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man.

The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of the man.’

/

 

From the very beginning, humans were created to be connected to other humans—not alone.

Around Chase Oaks we talk a lot about how we are created for community, which is true—how we can only thrive in life connected to others.

Our church is designed around that concept.

Yet, please understand this relationship between a man and a woman is a very unique and essential part of our design.

God not only designed you and me for intimacy with other people generally.

Our souls crave a connection with a counterpart with a person of the opposite sex.

Yes, the Bible does say that God gives some people the grace and calling to be single, which is way cool.

But our basic design is to be connected with someone of the opposite sex.

Tom Cruise may have been cheesy when he said in that Jerry Maguire movie, “You complete me,” but he was spouting off good anthropology.

So, go ahead, if you are married or maybe dating, and turn to that person and say it, “You complete me.”

Go ahead!

And if you are here and single and see someone you think you’d like, go tell them…no!

Let’s not do that yet.

This is not the end of the story though.

God created us with this hole in our soul for this unique connection, but he didn’t stop there.

He then created the concept for that unique connection.

We were created with a need for something and he then created the only kind of relationship that would ultimately meet that need.

We call it marriage.

Let’s read on:

 

 

Slide: ___________________  ) Genesis 2:24-25

/ /

/For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

/When Jesus later quotes this passage when talking about marriage, he adds,

 

Slide: ____________________ ) Mark 10:9

 

/Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

/That’s marriage, God’s design, so let’s unpack it.

It’s fair to say we’ve in general compromised the concept over the last thousands of years, so let’s go back to God’s basic design, and this time I really sound like a preacher, because I’m alliterating today.

I’m very proud of myself, because I have three “p’s” to describe God’s basic design for marriage.

Before you decide whether or not to write off marriage, let’s at least look at God’s original design.

The first “P” is priority.

Slide: ___________________  )

 

·        Priority

 

God said, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.”

The idea sounds like your kids are supposed to leave the house when they get married, but in ancient Israel, that didn’t happen.

They didn’t physically leave, but stayed on the family land and farmed it.

This isn’t just about physically setting up a house somewhere else.

It is leaving primary allegience to your own family unit to set up a new one.

When you get married, your biggest earthly priority is your spouse, is your marriage.

That means when you and I make that marriage vow to someone else, we are saying to them, “You are now the most important thing in my life, outside of my relationship with God.”

And I think we’d all say that sounds great, but we also know how easy it is to cheat on our spouse when it comes to priorities.

We can let any number of things take priority over our spouse and compromise our marriage commitment and health: our career, a particular project, a hobby, kids.

Why is the divorce rate so high once people become empty-nesters?

Their priority has been their kids and career, not each other.

They haven’t cultivated their relationship in years, and they get to that stage when the kids are gone and what do they have in common?

Not much!

Or think about things like career.

How many people do you know who have compromised their career path so they would have more ability to prioritize their marriage?

I can count them on one hand.

Marriage is significant but not easy, and therefore if it doesn’t get priority, it’s not going to function well.

The next “P” is a promise.

Slide: ___________________  )

 

·        Promise

 

The very foundation of marriage as God designed it is a promise.

That’s why Jesus adds, “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

When you stand before your spouse and get married, that promise is a very solemn vow that God takes seriously, and that promise is the basis for marriage.