Kindness

Kindness is underrated. We equate it with being nice or pleasant, as though it’s mainly about smiling, getting along, and not ruffling feathers. It seems a rather mundane virtue. But the Bible presents a very different, and compelling, portrait of kindness. It’s a supernaturally generous orientation of our hearts toward other people, even when they don’t deserve it and don’t love us in return.

Kindness is humbly giving of ourselves in love and mercy to others who may not be able to give anything back, who sometimes don’t deserve it, and who frequently don’t thank us for it. Basically kindness means a way of thinking that leads to doing thoughtful deeds for others.

The Greek word for “kindness” is chrēstotēs. It means “benignity, tender concern, uprightness.” It is kindness of heart and kindness of act.

It’s also essential to distinguish biblical kindness from the secular definition of kindness. When you are in traffic, you will likely see a bumper sticker that says, “spread kindness and cheer,” or be kind.” It’s something that has been marketed a lot. However, there is a distinction. Biblical kindness is about doing what is right, even when it’s hard. It’s about going the extra mile and being there for people, no matter what. Biblical kindness is always rooted in love. Secular kindness is often based on tolerance. It’s “being nice” to people regardless of how you feel about them. It’s more of a façade than anything else.

sometimes kindness hurts Ps. 141:5 “Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me; It is oil upon the head; Do not let my head refuse it, For still my prayer is against their wicked deeds.”

in order to truly understand kindness we must look at God’s kindness

GOD IS KIND

Ps. 145:17 “The Lord is righteous in all His ways And kind in all His deeds.”

God himself is kind in this way. His kindness is meant to lead people to repentance (Romans 2:4), which implies they haven’t yet turned to him, and are still his enemies. Rom. 2:4 “Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”

A kindness like no other is seen when when thru Jesus we see the ultimate example of kindness

Titus 3:4-5 “But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,”

Eph. 2:4-9 “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

WE NEED TO IMITATE GOD’S KINDNESS

Col. 3:12 “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;”

1 Cor. 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,”

Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?”

We imitate God’s kindness, therefore, by loving our enemies. Jesus said, “Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil” (Luke 6:35). Our kindness reflects the heart of our Father. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

We need to excel in extra ordinary kindness like the natives did when Paul and the prisoners were shipwrecked Acts. 28:2 “The natives showed us extraordinary kindness; for because of the rain that had set in and because of the cold, they kindled a fire and received us all.”

kindness is powerful In her memoir about the journey from being a committed lesbian to a committed Christian, Rosaria Butterfield says that, as a non-Christian, her impression of evangelical Christians was that they were poor thinkers, judgmental, scornful, and afraid of diversity. After publishing a critique of an evangelical Christian group in her local newspaper, she received an enormous volume of polarized responses. Placing an empty box in each corner of her desk, she sorted hate mail into one and fan mail into the other.

Then she received a two-page response from a local pastor. “It was a kind and inquiring letter,” she says. It had a warmth and civility to it, in addition to its probing questions. She couldn’t figure out which box to put the letter in, so it sat on her desk for seven days. “It was the kindest letter of opposition that I had ever received.” Its tone demonstrated that the writer wasn’t against her.

Eventually, she contacted the pastor and became friends with him and his wife. “They talked with me in a way that didn’t make me feel erased.” Their friendship was an important part of her journey to faith.

When Kindness Isn’t Easy

Let’s face it. Sometimes kindness is not easy. Sometimes it doesn’t flow out of us like we’d hoped because kindness is not always returned.

When kindness is hard to give, take some time to stop and ask why.

Is it pride, unforgiveness, or judgment that doesn’t allow the kindness to flow?

The word “kindness” has been translated in Galatians 5:22 from the Greek word Chrestos. It means a softening or mellowing of something that was once harsh. It is not in our nature to give such humble, merciful kindness to people who don’t deserve it, but we have been given the most wonderful kindness from God in his Son and the gift of his Spirit.

“Soften our hearts, Lord. Make us mellow in our response. Cultivate Chrestos in us. Help us slow down and look for opportunities to be kind. Fill us and empower the fruit of kindness to flow from our hearts, minds, and actions. Amen.”

HOW TO BE KIND

For some of us, watching sports, or talent shows (like The Voice), provides an opportunity for airing harsh opinions on physical appearance, ineptitude, or lack of talent. Our verbal slashes too easily become part of the entertainment itself.

For some of us, the daily commute becomes a crucible of kindness. Am I generously inclined toward other drivers, including the guy who just cut me off and the other one who’s tailgating me?

Some of us have to admit that we too often twist the verbal knife of cruel sarcasm, saying what we don’t mean in order to drive home more deeply what we do.

I may use spite, gossip, or coldness, thinking to myself that kindness will only encourage their behavior.

Mt. 5:43-48 ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? “If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Prov. 31:26 “She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” teaching in kindness

Example of Ruth and Boaz

Matt. 25:34-36 ““Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. ‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’”

Col. 3:12-13 “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”

Eph. 4:29 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Zech. 7:9-10 ““Thus has the Lord of hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another.’”

Gal. 6:9 “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

Here are some tips for developing kindness:

Smile more often – This one is easy and free! Smiling is a universal sign of kindness, and it’s contagious. Yes! When you smile at someone, they will most likely to smile back.

Compliment- Make a point to compliment others more often. A simple “Great job!” or “You look nice today” can brighten someone’s day.

Listen with your full attention – When we really listen to others, it shows that we care about them and value what they have to say.

Donate- You can also donate blood, clothes, or food to needy people.

Volunteer your time – Volunteer your time and talents to help others. There are so many ways to do this! You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, senior living homes, soup kitchen or any number of other places.

Forgive others – We all make mistakes, and we all have bad days. Forgive people when they hurt your feelings or do something that annoys you. It’s not easy, but it will make you feel better in the long run.

Be kind even when it’s difficult – This is a big one for me. I feel like I need to pin it beside my office desk. Why?

We all need to make a conscious effort to be kinder to people who are difficult to love. We all have that one person in our lives who is just hard to get along with. Maybe it’s a coworker, family member, or friend. Challenge or encourage yourself to go out of your way to be kind to that person. Do something nice for them, say something positive, or be there for them when they need it.

Think before you speak. This one can be tough, but it’s so important! We’ve all said things that we regretted later. Before you say something, think about how it will affect the other person. If it’s not something nice, kind, or helpful, then don’t say it!

Self-care! It’s not always easy to be kind 😢, especially to yourself. But it is so important! When you are kind to yourself, you are showing love and respect for yourself. You are valuing yourself and your own wellbeing.

Drive-through difference: My local Christian radio station WGTS 91.9 started a chain reaction of kindness in the DC area. It’s simple- pay for the person behind you in a drive-through. A few weeks ago, I did that. I asked the attendant to pay the tab of the car behind me. I also asked them to pass the message, “God loves you.” When the car behind me heard the news, I heard honks behind me as they waved frantically and made heart shapes with their hands, “God loves you too!”. So try it, pay for the person behind you and spread the love of Jesus.

Proverbs 21:21 (NASB95)

He who pursues righteousness and loyalty Finds life, righteousness and honor.