Fatherhood Under God

Good morning, and a special welcome to all the fathers here today. As we gather on this Father’s Day, we pause to appreciate, honor, and learn more about the role fathers play in the lives of their families and society at large.

Take a moment, close your eyes, and picture a father. What do you see? Perhaps a strong figure, one who provides, who protects. Perhaps a loving guide, a nurturer, the one who held you high on his shoulders so you could touch the sky. Or perhaps, a teacher, the first one who taught you to ride a bike, to throw a ball, or introduced you to the endless wonders of the world.

Fathers, in their diverse ways, significantly shape who we are.

Yet, in a world that often offers contrasting, sometimes confusing expectations of what it means to be a father, where can we turn for guidance?

How can fathers meet these expectations and be the best they can be for their families?

In the hustle and bustle of life, with its pressures and challenges, it's easy to lose sight of the compass that guides us.

But we have a source of wisdom that transcends time and trends, that illuminates the path of fatherhood with clarity and purpose.

That source is the Word of God. Today, we will dive into Ephesians 6:4, a key biblical text that provides profound insights into the heart of godly fatherhood.

Fathers, future fathers, and everyone here, get ready.

This isn't just a message about fatherhood—it's about leadership, about love, and about the sacred task of nurturing the next generation.

So let's get ready to explore what it truly means to be a Father under God.

Let’s read this morning’s text...

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Let’s read it in another translation...

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Now let’s read it again in perhaps a more down to earth translation...

Ephesians 6:4 AMP

4 Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.

A little convicting, right? The Bible will do that.

Now let’s break this verse down and hear what it’s saying to us this morning.

Demonstrate God’s Love to Your Children

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

What does this mean, don’t provoke your children?

Don’t Irritate Them Unnecessarily

Fathers, we are to reflect God's love to our children.

Stop doing things that unnecessarily frustrate them.

What’s frustrating?

Making the rules up as you go

Changing the rules as you go

Having no rules

Being arbitrary: your decisions are random, how you’re feeling in the moment, rather than for a good reason

Don’t actively listen to them – how many times have you made decisions w/o all the facts?

This means practicing patience, understanding, and forgiveness, emulating the Heavenly Father's enduring patience towards us.

Next...

Create an Atmosphere of Love

Make your home a haven of God's love.

Show your children what love looks like, in words and actions, as God shows His love for us.

Practical Application: This week, find tangible ways to express your love to your children, reassuring them of your unwavering affection and support.

First, Demonstrate God’s Love to Your Children by not irritating them unnecessarily, next...

Nurture Your Family With Godly Teaching

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

“Bring them up.” Different fathers have some unusual ideas as to what bring them up means.

Some fathers abdicate their role to their wives to bring up the kids.

Some fathers rule with an iron fist thinking this will toughen their children to make it in the real world. Can you say, “provoke?”

So what does “bring them up” mean.

To answer that, let’s go to the text.

The text reads, “But nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.”

The verb translated “bring them up” is the same word that is translated “nourish” in Ephesians 5:29.

Ephesians 5:29 NKJV

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

The Christian husband is to nourish his wife and his children by sharing love and encouragement in the Lord. It is not enough to nurture the children physically by providing food, shelter, and clothing. He must also nurture them emotionally and spiritually.

Nowhere in the Bible is the training of children assigned to agencies outside the home, no matter how they might assist. God looks to the parents for the kind of training that the children need.

So, how do we “bring them up?”

Demonstrate Godly Principles

To lead your family effectively, you must first be a living example of the principles you wish to instill in your children. Live out your faith in a visible, tangible way for your family to see.

And...

Nurture Your Family

Cultivate a home environment where wisdom and understanding flourish.

Foster open dialogues, encourage curiosity, and invite thoughtful questions about God, faith, and life.

This speaks of balanced growth: intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social.

Practical Application: Initiate a regular family devotion or Bible study, where you can lead in exploring God's Word together.

And lastly...

Discipline Your Children

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

The word “nurture” carries with it the idea of learning through discipline.

It’s translated “chastening” in Hebrews 12.

Hebrews 12:5–6 NKJV

5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”

Years ago the Duke of Windsor said, “Everything in the American home is controlled by switches – except their children.”

The Bible records the sad results of parents neglecting their children, either by being bad examples to them or failing to discipline them properly.

David pampered Absalom and set him a bad example, and the results were tragic.

Eli failed to discipline his sons and they brought disgrace to his name and defeat to the nation of Israel.

In his latter years, even Isaac pampered Esau, while his wife showed favoritism to Jacob; and the result was a divided home.

Jacob was showing favoritism to Joseph when God providentially rescued the lad and made a man out of him in Egypt.

Some modern psychologists oppose the old-fashioned idea of discipline, and many educators follow their philosophy.

“Let the children express themselves!” they tell us. “If you discipline them, you may warp their characters.” Yet discipline is a basic principle of life and an evidence of love. “Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth” (Heb. 12:6). “He that spareth him chasteneth him diligently” (Prov. 13:24, literal translation).

But, we need to be sure we discipline in the right manner.

Discipline in Love, Not Anger

If we discipline in anger, we could injure them physically, or injure their spirit.

If we are not disciplined, we certainly can’t discipline others. “Flying off the handle” never made a better child or a better parent.

Be Fair and Consistent

One teenager said, “My father would use a cannon to kill a mosquito.” “I either get away with murder, or get blamed for everything!”

Consistent, loving discipline gives assurance to our children.

(Tell story of teen, “my parents don’t love me” while in the emergency room)

They may not always agree with us, but at least they know we care enough to build some protective walls around them until they can take care of themselves.

Practical Application: Think before you discipline. Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family used to say, “Think about the why. Was it childish irresponsibility? Then discipline accordingly. Or was it deliberate disobedience? If so, corporal punishment was probably indicated.”

As we conclude...

Fathers, you are entrusted with a divine calling to reflect God's love to your children, to lead your family with wisdom and humility, and to disciple the young ones towards a fulfilling relationship with Jesus.

Your influence can shape generations and the impact you make today can echo into eternity.

Yes, challenges abound in fatherhood.

There are times of self-doubt, times of exhaustion.

But remember, you are not alone. God is with you, offering His endless wisdom and boundless love. He strengthens you for this journey of fatherhood.

As you step out this week, embody God's love, lead with godly wisdom, and disciple with sincerity.

Embrace the privilege, responsibility, and joy of being a father under God's grace.

God bless you all, and once more, happy Father's Day.