Good Fathers

Luke 15:11–32 NKJV

11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. 17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’ 20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry. 25 “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’ 28 “But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. 30 But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’ 31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. 32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ ”

When my daughter was born, I was on deployment. I was able to talk to my wife on the phone from Greece shortly after delivery. I remember receiving a VHS tape that was made of her birth and first few moments of life and watching it in the ship's library. When I got home and I saw her for the first time I had a moment where I was frozen. My wife asked me if I wanted to hold her and I hesitated, even if briefly, because of the thought -- what if I break her. Of course I wasn't going to do that, but I was experiencing what many men do -- fear that I was going to be a bad father.

Your experience with your father or as a father might be mixed. No matter what it is, whether good or bad, fathers are essential to the good of society.

If you were to look at the statistics you would see that the state of fatherlessness is at an epidemic level—in 2022, according to the U.S. Census Bureau 1 in 4 children under 18 (18.4 million) live with a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. 75% of kids - enough to fill New York City twice or Los Angeles four times over.

Some stats from the [National Fatherhood Institute](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic):

Involved dads improve their children’s overall emotional and social well-being is improved

Children with involved dads are less likely to be mistreated

Children who live with their dads do better in school

Adolescent/teen boys who live with their dads are less likely to carry guns and deal drugs

Children living without their father in the home are 47% more likely to live in poverty

Men with absent fathers are more likely to become absent fathers them selves

Women with absent fathers are more likely to have children with absent fathers

Boys have fewer behavior problems and girls have fewer psychological problems when they have involved dads

Infant death with the first 28 days of life is four times higher for those with absent fathers than those with involved fathers

But today I want to talk to you about how as good fathers we can reflect the image of our Heavenly Father and how this is crucial to bringing blessing into our families and society.

In a generation that has experienced the overwhelming absence of fathers it becomes difficult for them to see God as a good heavenly Father. But when men begin to lean into the aspects of God’s character that He has given to them, then as fathers (natural and spiritual) we will more accurately reflect the nature of God for our children and others. Knowing God leads to blessing and life and good fathers play an important role in pointing people to Him.

If we want to renew society and restore one of the most important elements of the gospel we need good, godly fathers to rise up once again.

Portraits of Fatherhood

Have you seen that Progressive Insurance sitcom themed commercials where the main character is “TV Dad?” One of them has a man telling his dad that his kids have to get braces and he complains that kids are expensive. His dad says to switch his insurance and save money. He says, “I don’t know.” Then “TV Dad” tells him to switch his insurance and he says, "That’s a great idea, TV Dad.” And the real dad says, “But I said the exact same thing.” And the TV Dad says, “Someday, when you’re a father, you’ll understand.” And the real dad says, “I’m his father.” And TV Dad says, “It’s not a competition.”

In today’s cultural moment, institutions and authority are under fire. Included is a movement to redefine the family and to undermine fatherhood. In an environment where easy, casual no-commitment sex is just a swipe away and the prevailing attitude is “you do you” and “me against the world” those who believe these lies find it acceptable to leave the mother to raise their children.

And because so many grow up without a present father, those who do accept their responsibility often struggle and find themselves fearful that they are going to “mess their kids up” or break them somehow. Often they are so intent on not being like their own parents that they go towards the opposite extremes or they turn to popular psychology and the parenting methods recommended there.

This unfortunately leads to things like helicopter parenting or “everyone gets a trophy” or no discipline for the child which only serves to create more crises. The problem is that natural examples fall way short of the glory of God.

The hope for us today is that we have a heavenly Father who offers us a true picture of what it means to be a good father. And not only that, but Jesus said that we could be like our heavenly Father (cf. Matthew 5.48). Because we are made in the image of God and God is working in us we are able to walk in His nature and become good fathers.

Fathers play a critical role in bringing about the kingdom of God and His blessing into our homes and society. And if we will learn to pattern ourselves after Him we will be used by God to bring a legacy of goodness for our kids and our kid’s kids.

Following the Pattern

In the story of the prodigal son which Jesus shared we get a glimpse into some of the essential characteristics of our Heavenly Father which will help us become good fathers.

A Good Father Cares

Psalm 103:13 NLT

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

God is being compared to a father and the key comparison here is that He is compassionate. This word is a pretty powerful one. It also can be translated as “womb.” The root of it describes two main concepts: the strong relational tie and commitment that God has with His children and of God’s unconditioned choice—His unmerited favor. It is benevolent, approval, and friendliness in personal relationship with a particular kind of favor. This is a fundamental element of God’s nature. (TDOT, TWOT)

This compassion is a deeply felt patient and loyal love. It causes the active favor of mercy to flow. It sets aside judgement in the face of repentance.

Luke 15:20–24 NKJV

20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.

Despite the way that the prodigal son left—and it was bad—the father showed compassion. He patiently waited for his son to return. In the face of his son’s repentance the father showed mercy and forgiveness and even favor. He never gave up on his son and he was ready to receive him.

This is how a good father cares. Our children are going to make mistakes. They are going to do dumb things. But good fathers are tender and compassionate toward them. They offer mercy and forgiveness and set aside judgment in the face of repentance.

A Good Father Sustains

Matthew 6:31–32 NKJV

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

God is the Creator and Sustainer of life. He provides and protects (cf. Psalm 91.4).

Luke 15:17 NKJV

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

After the prodigal lost all and was in a pig sty starving in the midst of famine, he had this revelation: In my father’s house there is more than enough for family and servants.

A good father provides and protects. It is interesting that after the Fall, God told Adam that the ground would be cursed and it would become hard work to till it (Genesis 3.17). The New Testament declares that a man who doesn’t provide for his household has denied the faith and worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5.8). Scripture declares that a good father leaves an inheritance for his children’s children (Proverbs 13.22).

As fathers it is our job to provide and protect our children. This is not limited to the material or physical realm. This includes the spiritual and relational and emotional as well.

A good father is a refuge for their family (cf. Proverbs 18.10). They sustain and support their families through their work and the grace of God on their lives. Just as God does for us.

A Good Father Leads

Isaiah 38:19 NKJV

The living, the living man, he shall praise You, As I do this day; The father shall make known Your truth to the children.

Proverbs 3:11–12 NKJV

My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor detest His correction; For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.

Finally, a good father leads his household. This happens especially in two ways: instruction and discipline. Just was we are to learn from God and in His love He corrects us when we don’t walk in the way, we are to teach our children and discipline them when they step out of the boundaries of wisdom and truth.

Luke 15:31–32 NKJV

“And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ ”

When the older son questioned the father’s behavior toward the prodigal, the father gently rebuked the mindset of the older son and pointed him to the truth.

A good father teaches his children the truth of God’s word and the truth of life. They pass on wisdom and understand. And, a good father doesn’t let his child live an undisciplined, lawless life. They enforce boundaries and discipline to correct wrong thinking and behavior. This is how a good father leads in love. This is how God leads us.

Conclusion

Jesus introduced God to His followers in a radical way. He told them that God was their Heavenly Father.

Men, as fathers, we are supposed to show our children what God is like. This is a unique aspect of God’s character that only men can display.

The better we reflect the image of our heavenly father the greater the chances are that our children will honor us, experience generational blessing, and walk in the ways of the Lord as a result.

A good father cares like God does.

A good father sustains his family like God does.

A good father leads his children like God does.

Fathers—just think of the legacy that you will leave your children and how your life and example will lead to a renewal of culture and revival of the gospel as you embrace your God given role as father.