Happy Father's Day!
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Family: God’s Way...
Family: God’s Way...
As Pentecostals, we are egalitarian. This means that we ordain women to be pastors. Women have the same right to be council members as men. You don’t have to be a man to preach.
This hasn’t always been the case, and there are still some even in our churches as well as other evangelical denominations that believe that a woman doesn’t have the right or the authority to preach the gospel.
Here are some Scriptures that are held to:
Women should be silent during the church meetings. It is not proper for them to speak. They should be submissive, just as the law says.
If they have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for women to speak in church meetings.
This sounds pretty definitive until we look at the context.
But a woman dishonors her head if she prays or prophesies without a covering on her head, for this is the same as shaving her head.
Am I just digging a hole for myself on Father’s Day? Quite possibly.
Customs and context play a huge role when we read Scripture. If we were to go back to the Law, the first five books of the Bible, do we follow it to the letter of the law?
Do we present our sores to the priest to see if we are clean or unclean? Do we wear clothes that have mixed materials such as cotton and polyester? Not supposed to.
Women in 1st century society were treated more like possessions than they were equals or even helpmates. They were not allowed to be educated in religious custom, so they would ask questions as they were trying to understand what was being taught. To pray and prophesy, it was acceptable if they covered their heads. Custom of the day.
They were told to be silent in church, and yet they were allowed to pray and prophesy, because God promised that He would pour out His Spirit upon all flesh. I don’t think that God expected the women to use sign language as they prayed and prophesied.
If we look at 1 Corinthians 14:27-28
it says:
No more than two or three should speak in tongues. They must speak one at a time, and someone must interpret what they say.
But if no one is present who can interpret, they must be silent in your church meeting and speak in tongues to God privately.
Interestingly, Paul uses the same Greek word for silent to someone who speaks in tongues or to women who are asking questions.
But if someone is prophesying and another person receives a revelation from the Lord, the one who is speaking must stop.
In this way, all who prophesy will have a turn to speak, one after the other, so that everyone will learn and be encouraged.
Remember that people who prophesy are in control of their spirit and can take turns.
For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.
Could you imagine what kind of confusion would happen in a church service if two or three people start prophesying and one tries to out shout or even interrupts the first person. The second one needs to first keep silent and wait their turn.
Same word as for women asking their husbands questions in the middle of the service.
I’ve said all this today to say that God doesn’t show partiality. He loves men and women, husbands and wives. He calls us to
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
At one time in our society, men were more highly respected in the family and in the work place. I believe in equal pay for equal work.
But there has been a shift to look down on men as less than…Less intelligent… Less qualified…Not to be looked up to. Hollywood has tried to paint a different picture of what families should look like as compared to how God looks at families.
Let’s look at our Scripture today,
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Children obey your parents in the Lord...
Children obey your parents in the Lord...
Why?
For this is right...
In chapter 5, Paul had just finished addressing husbands and wives. Ephesians 5:21 says
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
We know the centuries battle of the sexes. What does it mean to submit, to love, to respect, to lay down one’s life, and how does Christ and the church fit in to all of this? And Paul closes with
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Then Paul moves into
Children…obey your parents...
Children…obey your parents...
Sometimes I think we miss a crucial line in this.
In the LORD...
In the LORD...
As a parent, I don’t think that there is anything more frustrating than defiant disobedience.
Sometimes disobedience comes from a child not placing the priority on the chore asked to be completed as a parent sees it.
Sometimes I see my kids in me.
Ok, it’s time to clean your room.
Ok.
An hour later, still nothing has happened.
Did you clean your room?
Oh, I forgot.
I’m not sure it was forgotten as much as it wasn’t seen as a priority.
Defiance is when I ask and the response is, “I will not do that...”
God loves it when our children obey, and He also loves it when we obey.
Is there ever a time when disobedience is right?
Is there ever a time when disobedience is right?
Life Application New Testament Commentary Children and Parents / 6:1–4
This is not an absolute command; when a parent tells a child to do something unbiblical, immoral, or unethical, the law of God supersedes the will of the parent. But aside from those extremes, children are to obey their mothers and fathers.
Life Application New Testament Commentary (Children and Parents / 6:1–4)
Obedience that recognizes parents’ authority can carry over into recognizing God’s authority
Obedience that recognizes parents’ authority can carry over into recognizing God’s authority
Obedience to authority
Obedience to authority
is an area that hits us all.
This has to do with obeying those whom God has placed in authority over us: Our boss, our parents, our government, our law enforcement, etc.
This can be a little tricky because you may take a stand that you believe is a matter of principle, conscience and faith. To somebody else, they don’t see it the same way. This is where we need to love each other and walk in grace toward one another.
We need to be careful not to stand in judgment over someone else’s servant.
Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.
Now let’s get back to Ephesians 6:2
Honor your Father and Mother...
Honor your Father and Mother...
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
Life Application New Testament Commentary Children and Parents / 6:1–4
Obeying and honoring are different. To obey means to do what another says to do; to honor means to respect and love. Children are to obey while under their parents’ care, but they must honor their parents for life.
Sometimes family can be tricky. Parent-children relationships can be messy especially when in-laws get involved.
My prayer is that God gives us wisdom as we love our families: Parents and children.
Here’s the conundrum. As husbands, we are called to leave our father and our mother and cleave to our wives and yet as children we are called to honor our father and mother.
Sometimes the expectations of parents can be more than spouses are willing to share, and yet we need to walk that fine line.
I think as in-laws we need to treat our spouse’s parents as if they were our own, and yet I hope when I become an in-law that I don’t take advantage of my kids, but love and respect as I want to be loved and respected.
This is the
First Commandment with a promise...
First Commandment with a promise...
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
It pleases God that we love, honour and respect our parents.
God used harsh punishment on children that dishonoured their parents.
Leviticus 20:9 (NLT)
Anyone who dishonors father or mother must be put to death. Such a person is guilty of a capital offense.
That would be quite an incentive to honour your parents.
I remember the day when spanking was the go to. It wasn’t use all means possible and then spank. It was, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
I was probably 3 or 4. I know this will be hard for you to believe, but I was misbehaving in church. The church would have been a similar design to the Legion building in town, so as make a commotion in the building, Dad took me outside to the front step of the church.
I remember my words very distinctly, “I’ll be good, Dad. I’ll be good.”
I remember hearing my Senior Pastor in Fort Frances, On tell me the story of a boy that was being taken out to be disciplined and on the way out of the sanctuary he grabs a hold of the door frame and says, “Pray for me folks!”
God gives a promise, because when we honour our parents, we honour the LORD.
As a child, I was taught that we needed to respect our elders. It was quite common to hear Mr. and Mrs. Unless somebody gave us permission to use their first name, which was more intimate, we would say Mr. and Mrs.
I like how the ESV puts Romans 12:10
Romans 12:10 (ESV)
...Outdo one another in showing honor.
First we need to honour the LORD.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce.
Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.
Put God first, then others, and finally ourselves.
An acronym for
J-O-Y
J-O-Y
Jesus
Others
You
Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself.
Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well.
Before we close, let’s look at verse 4.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
You might have noticed that it doesn’t say mothers, don’t exasperate your children.
We all have expectations of what we would like our children to become, and yet God has made each child differently. Let’s be careful not to put them all in the same mould. No two are identical, even if they are very similar.
As parents, we need to be careful not to be too hard on our kids as to break them, but we still need to train them up in the training and instruction of the LORD.
Each person has a choice to make whether or not to follow Christ, but we need to do everything that we can as parents to give our children an opportunity to follow Christ, by our actions and our words.
It won’t take long for our children to figure out what’s important to us. We can teach our kids to clean, to save money, to play sports, to learn how to work, and the list can go on and on. We can teach them life skills, but if we don’t teach them how to love Jesus, and to walk with Him, we have not obeyed what God has told us to do.
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.
Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.
Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Every part of our lives must reflect Jesus.
Do you want to make oak trees or squash?
Do you want to make oak trees or squash?
James Garfield
When James Garfield (late President of the U.S.) was principal of Hiram College in Ohio, a father asked him if the course of study could be simplified so that his son might be able to go through by a shorter route. “Certainly.” Garfield replied. “But it all depends on what you want to make of your boy. When God wants to make an oak tree, He takes a hundred years. When He wants to make a squash he requires only two months.” We are producing too many squashes and not enough oak trees in our day. (Source unknown) (Family Times)
There are times that we want to make life easy for our kids: give them what they want, try to fight their battles for them, not discipline when it’s needed, and yet what do we want our kids to become?
I want to share this word of prophecy that was for Jesus, but because we are His ambassadors, this is for us too.
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
Let’s lead our families to be oaks of righteousness to display the glory of God.
Let’s pray!