Happy Husband happy home

Happy Husband, Happy Home.

Ephesians 5:21-24

Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Notice the Bible says to submit to one another. Submission is like the word submarine. It means to put your mission under the other person’s mission!

These are the keys to your spouse’s heart! Let me give you the key to your husband’s heart! Treat him just like you would Jesus!

1. Companionship.

Genesis 2:18 God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.

God made Eve because Adam needed a companion! He was probably trying to stay up with the monkeys! He wanted someone to play with! Men want to have fun. They’re just big boys! Men buy their sons a train set, then a 4-wheeler, and then a jet ski! Why? So they can play with them!

It’s easy to treat your husband like a child because sometimes, he acts like a child. Sometimes men are the ones encouraging the children up! The reason that they do most of their fun stuff with other men is

because they’re the only ones who will do fun things with them! Just like a dog: You want to go outside? Go get your ball!

You fell in love because you did fun things together. How do you fall out of love? You stop doing fun things together! The relationship began with a friendship so keep it fun!

Let’s go back in time to illustrate this. Daniel Boone wakes up and he’s been created to protect and provide. He gets up, takes his rifle, goes out and smells the flowers and thinks, “This would make wonderful potpourri!” He sees a deer and he raises his rifle and thinks, “He’s so cute! I can’t shoot him. That could be Bambi’s father!” He lowers his rifle, wipes a tear away and takes the potpourri home!

No! He steps on the potpourri! He doesn’t care if that’s Bambi himself. He raises the rifle and shoots him. God has made him where one of his greatest needs is companionship. Why did God do that? It’s so that he’ll go home after he shoots the deer.

Otherwise, he’d just be sitting out there in the woods. Eating his deer thinking, “I know I’m forgetting something!” But because of companionship, he thinks, “Oh yeah, home!”

2. Sex.

This is a valid need like a woman’s need for non-sexual affection! When a man says he needs sex, a woman hears he needs to be held. When a woman says she needs to be held, he thinks she’s coming on to me. And who can blame her. She can’t resist this! Yes, she can!

This is a need for a man as valid as the communication need for a woman. Women ranked sex as #13 on their list of needs. They ranked gardening #12!

Men, as valid as this need is, meeting it in an impure way is never valid! Any sex outside of marriage will produce death!

James 1:14-15 (NASB) But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

Proverbs 7:23 ...he does not know that it will cost him his life.

This is a legitimate need that men have. Men connect with their emotions through sex.

Women connect with sex through their emotions

3. Honor.

Mark 6:1-5 Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue. And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, “Where did this Man get these things? And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands! Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.” Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them.

Jesus couldn’t do a mighty work there because he wasn’t honored! If Jesus was limited by dishonor, what about your husband?

“A Prophet is not without honor except in his own country,” But that scripture goes on to say, “Among his own relatives, and in his own house.” Many men could be doing mighty works if they were honored!

This is the key to your husband’s heart. He will never open up emotionally to someone who doesn’t honor him! If you don’t speak with honor, I can’t hear you!

Men are more sensitive in the area of their egos than women can possibly comprehend! We actually think opposite! We think that women are the most sensitive to words and that you can say anything that you want to a man.

Women are sensitive physically and men are sensitive emotionally! You can’t grab them when they walk by because it will hurt them, but I can grab my sons. Women are much tougher emotionally than men! Women are always talking about feelings and relationships and men talk about golf and cars!

Ladies, do you understand how sensitive you are physically? That’s the way he is with every word you say! That’s why the Bible says to honor him the way you would Jesus.

If I was married to Abraham, (Sarah called him Lord) I could honor him. But I’m married to Leon and Leon’s about to kill us! Abraham gave Sarah to another man twice. This doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t speak up! You have every right to say something but how you say it will make the difference.

He is very tender and the way you say it makes all the difference. How you say something is more important than what you say!

Here is something that I find very honoring! My wife will ask me, “Is this is a good time?” Respecting my time is very honoring to me. Demanding my time is very dishonoring to me!

Honor him where you want him to be, not where he is. It’s called the cork in the bucket principle. You put a cork in the bottom of a bucket and it just lies there, but if you fill it with water, then it rises to the level of the water.

Your husband is the cork and your praise is the water. If you’re waiting for your husband to do something great, he’ll never do anything great! If you don’t praise him, he’ll just lie in the bottom of the bucket!

Again, men are like dogs! Give him praise when he picks up his clothes. “Him picked up him’s dirty clothes! Him’s a good boy!”

Don’t talk about him negatively to your friends or your family! Can you imagine how Satan would tell that man? “The only way for you to ever leave your past behind you Would be to leave this family and start all over. Every mistake you make for the rest of your life is going to be broadcast to her whole family!”

If all your husband ever does right is button his pajamas, (3 buttons) Then when he walks out of the bedroom at night say, “Kids, your dad’s a genius! 5 nights out of 7, he gets it right!” He’ll live in those pajamas!

Why does my husband work all the time? Maybe there’s someone at work that honors him! Why does he golf all the time? Maybe there’s someone out there that praises him!

Psalm 22 says that God inhabits (lives there) the praise of His people and men inhabit the praise of their wives or whoever will praise them!

God won’t live in a house where He’s not honored! A man won’t live in a house where he’s not honored! He might sleep there. But he’s not sharing his life there! These are needs, not wants, in your husband’s life! God made him this way! Are you going to meet these needs and trust God with the results?

I counseled with a couple and I told them something I had never said in counseling! “I can’t help you!” You know all the right things to do, but you won’t do them! You know what to do! Are you going to do it?