Fathers day sermon(2)

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Pray:

Years ago, I heard a Pastor say that this was the only commandment given to fathers in the NT. I wasn’t sure about it when I heard it. But it’s true. And this command is repeated only twice. Here in Ephesians and also in Collosions. That command being in verse 4.

But let’s begin in verse 1.

The reason why family order is so important is simple. God wants our families to be a reflection of His heavenly government.

The family government should imitate Gods government. Because it is designed to teach our children obedience to God.

Let me give you an example of a Godly father:

The son or daughter asks the father: Dad why do you put money in the plate every Sunday?

The Godly father says. Well, God commands us to give money to support His work. And then he can go to the bible and show the kid.

The son or daughter may ask. Dad why do we have to go to church every single Sunday.

The Godly father says. Well, God tells us to never forsake coming together with your church family.

The son or daughter may ask. Dad why are you always praying and reading your bible.

And of course, the Godly father will instruct the child on the importance of prayer and bible study.

By demonstrating obedience to your heavenly father. A Godly dad is teaching his child obedience to both his earthly father and to Godly authority.

I’m going to repeat this for you fathers listening online. Teaching your children obedience to your heavenly father, is teaching them to obey you and Godly authority.

If you want to keep your children out of prison. Raise them in church and teach them obedience to Gods laws.

When I was a kid, my dad used to always say to me. Do as I say not as I do. And I never liked that saying. A Godly Dad understands the importance of teaching by example. And that can be said of any leader. True leaders, do first, then others follow.

And even more important.

The child who is the most obedient of all your children is the one who is the most likely to become a Christian.

A Godly father knows. That a disobedient child never becomes prosperous, virtuous, or happy.

When we see a child who is disobedient it is easy to foresee his or her ruin. A life that leads to crime and prison, starts with disobedience at home.

Teaching our children respect and obedience begins at home with mothers and fathers.

Studies have been done on the importance of fathers that reflect these truths.

In a study done examining, father involvement with 134 children over the first ten years of life. Researchers found that father child contact. Was associated with better social, emotional, and academic functioning. Study shows that children with involved fathers. Experienced fewer behavioral problems and scored higher in reading achievements. Even in the case of non-residential fathers.

According to yet Another study. Children in father absent homes. Are 4 times more likely to be poor. 12% of children in married couple families were living in poverty. Compared to 44% of children in mother only families. In many cases the absence of a biological father contributes to an increase in probability for child abuse. There is significantly more drug use among children who do not have both a mother and father.

In addition:

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 90% of run-away children are from fatherless homes. 85% of children with behavior disorders are from fatherless homes. 73% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

70% of youth in state operated penal institutions come from fatherless homes. 85% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes. 70% of long-term prison inmates are fatherless. 72% that committed murders during their teen years were fatherless. 60% of rapists grew up without a dad.

A 2002 dept of justice survey of 7000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother only households.

Do you think that the presence of a father is important in the home? I think so.

We know very little about most biblical fathers. What kind of father was Nehemiah? What kind of father was Elijah? What kind of Father was Samuel? What kind of father was Jeremiah? What kind of father was Peter, James, or John? What kind of father was Moses? We don’t know.

But there are a few biblical examples of great dads.

One is Noah:

Hebrews 11:7

By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

Noah’s faith in God saved his family. Remember what we said earlier about demonstrating faith in God to our children. Noah exemplified this.

I have heard it suggested that Noah was ridiculed by everyone in their society. What a crazy man this is building an ARK in a time when nobody has ever even seen rain. This nut is out there predicting a flood in a time when rain had never even been heard of.

Imagine the ridicule Noah’s children must have faced.

I can relate to this. When I was saved at the age of 17 the other kids used to tease me for bringing my bible to school.

To be a Godly dad means standing up to ridicule for having Christian convictions. What is more important to you dad. Pleasing your heavenly father. Or fitting in with society?

Do you say no to drinking beer with friends on Super Bowl Sunday and instead bring your kids to church?

This is what a Godly dad does.

And because Noah endured ridicule and remained faithful his family was saved. How about you dad? Will your family be saved?

Then get them on the ARK before the rain comes. Get them in Jesus BEFORE it’s too late.

Those young men looked up to their Godly father. And the result was God saved Noah’s family. What a great example of fatherhood in the face of a wicked world Noah was.

If the only thing we ever accomplish as fathers is getting our children on the ark, then you are a great man in Gods eyes. Having a mansion means nothing. You can’t take it with you. Having the nicest car in town means nothing. You can’t take it with you. But you CAN bring your children with you on the ark.

Another example of a Godly father. Abraham. Look at Genesis 18:19

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

God says of Abrahams fatherhood.

1. His children will keep the way of the Lord.

2. His children would do justice and judgement.

How nice would it be to have a generation of such children?

Teddy Roosevelt famously said:

To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.

And that is exactly what our public schools do today. Constantly chanting that education is the solution to all our problems. It is. An education in Godly principles then worry about reading, writing and arithmetic.

Of course, we know Abraham made mistakes. And we know that Isaac repeated his father’s mistakes. And Jacob made his share of mistakes. But at the end of the day, they ALL had a heart to obey the Lord.

Next, we have Jacob. And the bible tells us in Hebrews 11:20

By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come.

We know that Jacob obeyed the spiritual instruction of his father. But we know that Esau disobeyed his father’s instruction. And Esau even rejected Christ.

You see Esau was the firstborn. And he had the promise that Christ would come through the fruit of his loins. But Esau said no thank you. And instead of marrying a Hebrew woman as his father, his mother and God instructed him. He married 4 Hittite women. This is how Esau rejected Christ.

And this is why God hated Esau. As it is said repeatedly in scripture. For Jacob have I loved but Esau have I hated.

Often this is quoted as a means of saying we do not have free will. But Esau had a free will. And he chose to reject Christ.

Having said that. Esau was still blessed by God in many ways. He actually prospered financially.

Why? Because he still had Godly teaching and a Godly example from his father, Isaac. God’s favor on Esau’s father, Jacob, allowed even Esau to prosper materially speaking. Unfortunately, Esau will not be heaven. You cannot reject Christ and make it to heaven regardless of your heritage.

Salvation does not come from your ancestry. It comes from having faith in Christ.

Then we have Joseph. Hebrews 11:21.

By faith Jacob, when he was a dying, blessed both the sons of Joseph; and worshipped, leaning upon the top of his staff.

The sons of Joseph were Ephraim and Manasseh. One means fruitful and the other means forgetful. And they were both. Even to the point of forgetting their heritage true Israel. Genesis 50:23 says.

And Joseph saw Ephraim's children of the third generation: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph's knees.

This means that Joseph was able to influence three generations, his children, his grandchildren, and his great grandchildren.

What a Godly father and grandfather Joseph was. Ephraim and Manasseh received the spiritual blessings from their grandfather.

A Godly father is of utmost importance to your children and children’s children.

You can be the smartest man in the world. Or the richest man in the world. But without Gods favor on you and your children it means nothing.

Listen to what the bible says about those who train their children to bow to the false gods of materialism and idols. Deuteronomy 5:9

Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me,

And 2 Kings 10:30

And the Lord said unto Jehu, Because thou hast done well in executing that which is right in mine eyes, and hast done unto the house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart, thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel.

One family cursed unto the fourth generation and unto another a blessing unto the fourth generation. Do you see how important you are dad?

So let me offer some final thoughts for father’s day:

1. Dads don’t let your past mistakes keep you from being a Godly father NOW. It is NEVER too late to start serving God. Ask God’s forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and move forward. Leave your past in the past. Abraham made some big mistakes. Isaac made some big mistakes. Jacob made some big mistakes.

Most of us have made mistakes. And we will pay for those mistakes. But God can still use us to turn things around. Don’t let the devil beat you up to the point that you destroy yourself over your mistakes.

Get up on your feet and enlist in the army of the Lord.

Folks the devil accuses. The devil destroys. God is grace and love and mercy and help in times of trouble. That voice which whispers your mistakes in your ear is NOT God. Ignore it. Pray. And let God and His word be your guide.

You see God is a God of second chances. And third chances, and fourth chances, and fifth chances.

There is Grace and mercy in abundance from your heavenly father. Never give up. Never stop living for God.

Jesus says come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Folks living for God is so much better than living for yourself.

Become a man of God today. You may not be all you could be, but thanks be to God you don’t have to be what you used to be.

As the old song goes.

One day at a time. Do what you are supposed to do. Be what God wants you to be.

2. A man’s favor with God isn’t determined by his children’s obedience to God.

Children have free will. Esau is an example of this. All we can do is be the best dad that we can while they are there. In the end your children will have to make their own choice.

There are parents who spent their entire lives hating God. Yet somehow have children who are pastors or evangelists or missionaries.

Then there are parents who served God loyally and faithfully and have the most ungodly children you have ever known. Now I believe that in time these children will repent and return to the fold. But don’t give up on them dad.

Our responsibility as parents is to be an example. That is how God will judge us as fathers.

Remember this dad. If you do not teach your child to respect authority at home. He or she will not respect authority away from home. And what better authority then God?

With authority comes responsibility dad. As head of the house. It is our duty to teach our children to look to God. As a dad your authority isn’t unlimited. It is limited to the word of God and being respectable and honorable in the eyes of the Lord.

Children love to ask? Why. Then when you give them an answer. Here comes another why? And another. And finally, we say. Well, because I said so and I’m your dad.

Once they get older you must teach them the motives behind your decisions. Kids need leadership that they can respect.

We eventually must say to our children. The world is ruled by Gods natural laws. And we need to teach them those laws. And the best way we can do this is by example.

Most people aren’t even aware of Gods natural laws bc many parents neglect to teach them. Examples of Gods natural laws are:

Jesus said to sell your clothes and buy a sword. This means our right to keep and bare arms are among Gods natural laws. And we do not need the second amendment. Gods law gives us the right to protect ourselves and our families. This is a natural law.

Another example of Gods natural law. Is be not deceived God is not mocked. For whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap.

If you sow a life of selfish behavior, crime and lies. We will reap the whirlwind in our lives.

These and other natural laws are important. And as fathers we MUST teach them to our children if we truly love them.

Never forget dad. Neglect is abuse. Do not neglect to teach your children Gods laws.

I am not a football watching person. And definitely not pro football if I do. But I like this quote from a football player. He said.

One of the most important aspects of being a parent is spending quality time with your children. And your child is the one who defines quality time. You can spend all the time you want with your child, but if he or she doesn’t get some satisfaction out of it, it was probably not quality time. Philip Rivers, quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, said it well: “The thing our kids hunger for is our time. And believe me, I have to fake it real hard that I care about Barbie dolls.” His daughters will be the winners over time because of his willingness to get down on the floor and play dolls with them.

I know I have spent a ton of time drinking fake tea from a teacup while being called Misses Nesbit. And playing with the barbie dream home. Or winning tickets at the kids party themed arcades so my kids could pick out prizes at the end of a party. We need to get on their level sometimes. And enjoy that period of innocence in your child’s life while you have it dad. The ball game on the tv isn’t more important. Drinking at the bar with your buddies isn’t more important dad.

Finally, we are told in our text. To not provoke our children to wrath.

This means we need to be reasonable in our commands. We cannot be so unreasonable that our children become frustrated. We should love them in such a way that they enjoy obedience.

Command nothing that is unreasonable. Gods’ commands are not grievous. And our commands should be Godly so as not to be grievous.

We do not want our children to see us angry all the time. And do not discipline your child in anger. This is sinful. Take time out if you need it to calm down.

Angry dads produce angry sons. Angry mom’s produce angry daughters.

Remember we are always setting an example. Do not be one of those fathers who rips his belt off in anger and chases down his child and whips him angrily with it. When you discipline your children in anger you are teaching them nothing except anger.

NEVER and I repeat NEVER. Spank a child when you are angry. Use a timeout for yourself dad. Do not let discipline turn into child abuse.

I am not against spanking a child. I am against doing it in anger rather than in love. Instead of reasoning with the child. And helping them to understand why they are being disciplined in any way. Some parents yell and scream at their children in rage as they basically beat them.

This is UNGODLY behavior dad. STOP IT NOW. You are just creating an angry child.

When the commands of the parent are unreasonable and severe the spirit of the child becomes irritated and discouraged. Your child may not be able to make all A’s on their report card. So what?

A teacher once said. Be sure to treat your A students well. But also treat your C students with respect. Because one day you might not to borrow money from him.

Some of the most successful men and women in the world were never A students. Some never graduated from college. And a lot of them never graduated from high school. Some children are good at taking tests. Other students can study day and night and never get A’s.

And thats ok Dad.

A parent should accept his or her child’s best effort without judgement. Do your best is God’s law. Teach them this truth. Colossians 3:23

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

And this is what we should say to your child. Did you do your best? If the answer is yes. Then accept it. Being a good parent means teaching our children obedience to God. And we should do so by example.

I want to close by wishing you all a happy Father’s Day to all the fathers watching today on Facebook. And of course, to all the fathers here today at Westside.

And to remind all of you young dads to be an example to your children. Get them in church, keep them in church. Raise them up in a way that points them to God. A way that teaches them to respect authority. Especially God’s authority.

Before I close I want to share something with you that I read online. I have no idea who wrote this. But just so you know. I didn’t. It goes like this:

While praying one day a woman asked, “Who are you God?” He answered “I Am” “ But who is “I Am” she asked, He replied I Am Hope, l Am Love, l Am Peace, l Am Joy I Am Strength, l Am Safety, l Am Grace, I Am Power, l Am the Comforter, l Am the Beginning and the End, l Am the Creator, I Am the Way, the Truth and The Life. With tears in her eyes, she looked toward Heaven and said, Now l understand. But who am I ? He tenderly wiped the tears from my eyes and whispered, “You Are Mine” ( l am a child of God. I am chosen, not forsaken. I am who you say l am. Psalms 139:14 l Praise you, For l am fearfully and wonderfully made,marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well.