Father's Day: Presence

Intro

Good morning.

Welcome to Grassroots Church

It is Father’s Day, so happy father’s day to all of the fathers and father figures out there.

Today is going to be two-fold. 1) I do want to talk about the need for fathers. But this isn’t going to be just about Dads because I want us to look specifically at the need for dads in our culture as well as 2) How we cab reflect the fatherly aspect of God in all of our relationships.

Before we get into it today…Let’s Pray

Prayer

Stats

Right off the bat…I fully understand many have grown up without a father, or with a problematic father or a rough relationship with their fathers.

I fully recognize that reality.

But I think we can learn from those stories and grow from them.

I think the truth of the matter is, fathers are arguably the most influential people in our lives. Not from a power or authority standpoint, but fathers tend to be the root cause of many things both good and bad.

Dad’s tend to take the brunt of most things.

When a young lady is out living a wild life, the terrible phrase that a lot of people will use is what? Daddy Issues.

When a young man is out there acting a fool or committing crime or living a wild life…the idea is that there wasn’t a strong father figure in the home.

And while those cliche’s or stereotypes are cringeworthy....There is a grain of truth in there somewhere.

That at the root of many issues in society is the lack of a present father or father-figure in the home.

Here are some stats from the National Fatherhood Initiative

18.4 million Children (1 in 4) are without a present father figure in the home.

This leads to:

4x greater risk of poverty

More likely to have behavioral problems

2x greater risk of infant mortality

More likely to go to prison

More likely to commit a crime

7x more likely to become pregnant as a teenager

More likely to face neglect and abuse

more likely to abuse Drugs and Alcohol

2x more likely to suffer obesity

2x more likely to drop out of school

Like most things, there are exceptions to the rule, but the I don’t think we can ignore the truth that when a father isn’t around, it leads to much larger societal problems that we are left with.

If we are to look at a map of fatherless homes and overlay it on top of a map of social service resourses, I think we would be able to find that the majority of our fights against poverty, crime, drugs, abuse…etc are going to places without fathers or strong father-figures. Again, there is undoubtedly a line.

And the federal government is starting to recognize this correlation with the creation of resource centers like fatherhood.gov and the National Fatherhood Initiative. The truth of the matter is, we need fathers.

Philosophy

we’ve talked about the great philosophical influencers of our Culture.

Nieche

Marx

Frued

Voltaire

All who generally rejected the idea of a loving and present God.

Neitzche and his ideas of power

Marx with the idea that primary human motivation is money

Feud who believe the primary human motivation is sex

And voltaire, whose ideas were some of the most influential when writing the U.S. Constitution “Freedom of Speech, religion, and separation of Church and state…to name a few”

These 4 Men who hold in their writings the very roots of our modern culture, all either had no relationship or a very strained relationship with their own fathers.

Freud hated his father because he saw him as competition

Nietzhe never knew his father as he died when he was 4

Marx, like Feud, hated his father

and Voltaire changed his name from Francois-Marie Arouet to Voltaire due to his disdain for his father.

The looming question

What can we do as the church? How does the church fill this void relationally in our city?

It is quite simple really…and it is quite honestly the single most important thing a Father can do....it’s be present.

A good dad does not have to be the dad that builds a roller coaster in the back yard or teaches the kids how to field dress an animal. A good dad doesn’t have to be super into sports or fishing or things of that nature.

But the one thing all good dads have in common is their presence. Simply being there.

And we get this call or example simply from the very nature of God.

That from the very beginning, God’s desire has been to be present and with His creation.

Genesis 3…God walked in the Garden.

In Exodus 33…It is God himself, his presence that will lead the nation into the promised land.

It is God who’s presence dwelled in the Tent of meeting, the Tabernacle, and eventually the Temple.

Then finally culminating his very presence in the person of Jesus Christ.

Matthew 1:23 CSB

See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name him Immanuel, which is translated “God is with us.”

John 1:14 CSB

The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. We observed his glory, the glory as the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Then at the very end of Matthew, what is the last thing Jesus says?

“Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

You see, redemption, salvation, shalom, restoration…they are all pointing us to the same thing....to dwell and live in teh presence of God.

Psalm 16:11 CSB

You reveal the path of life to me; in your presence is abundant joy; at your right hand are eternal pleasures.

Jude 24 CSB

Now to him who is able to protect you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of his glory, without blemish and with great joy,

Psalm 51:10–11 CSB

God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Like a good Father, God is present, and like all little children we desire to be fully in His presence.

Story

I became a dad a little over 9 years ago.

And while my wife read all the books on parenting and what not…Like most guys…I did not.

And the truth is, nothing prepares you for being a parent. It’s like when someone says “I have a dog…I get it.” or something really really dumb like that. Dog’s are super easy. You can leave them at home alone. Dog’s are to parenting....what Madden Football video games are to playing in the NFL. You kind of know how to take care of an organism…but you aren’t prepared to take the actual hits.

And one of the things that surprised me the most is the truth that, while I was a little fearful of what I might lose when I had a child…freedom, sleep, freedom, When you hold the child you can only think about what you have gained in that moment.

Every priority seems to shift in an instant. You become more protective. You say things like “I will go down to that school and talk to the teacher...” What?

But something I began to recognize as my kids have gotten older, is their desire to simply hang out with me. And let me tell you…it’s not always fun. My kids want to do whatever dad is doing. I’m making pizza, they want to get in the way…i mean help. I’m watching a movie…they want to watch a movie. I’m mowing the yard…they follow me like ducks while I mow the grass.

But i’ve come to learn that what makes a good dad is not the activities…but the presence with them.

Presence vs. Proximity

There are two things that the church kind of mixes up and has grown to mess up.

The church has confused presence with proximity. When we think about our mission in this world. We often times believe we are present in the community when in reality we are merely near the community.

Being present with our children is not being near them. It’s being with them.

If we are going to make disciples of people…we must be with them, not merely near them. Our neighbors, are we with our neighbors or are we just near our neighbors?

Being a good disciple-maker is like being a good dad. We must learn to simply be with. And it is very hard. Especially when you’re tired.

I’m not saying a good dad is someone who requires the children to be with them at all times. But when they children desire to come close…you are there. Unless it’s bedtime…then the hammer comes down.

Responsibility…not power

But what does scripture say about the responsiblity of a father?

Ephesians 5:22–6:4 CSB

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

We’ve taken this passage to be a passage about “who’s in charge and who has the power.” When that is not what this passage is saying. it’s not about, who is in charge, but it’s about the responsibility of body of Christ.

Like I’ve stated before, marriage is to be a picture or a glimpse of God’s relationship with us. Husbands and dads bear the responsiblity of the family. Not the power or authority of the family, but the responsibility. One of the things we often ignore is what Paul says right before this in verse 21 “Submit to one another in the fear of Christ”

Marriage and family is not about a “power dynamic” but about a cohesive expression of covenant living.

So, what makes a good dad?

Presence

2. Love your wife above everyhting. Your kids are going to grow up one day. Your responsiblity as a dad or even a mom is to love your spouse first and most

Be a parent who is worthy of being honored. Don’t provoke our kids to anger and resentment. But guide them in the faith.

Conclusion

The truth of the matter is this: Patience, Empathy, Forgiveness, and sacrifice all require us to be present.

And dads, whether biological or figural, the world needs you. Society needs you.

Children in our city needs you. Not to be cool or fun. But to be present. To help raise children in the faith. Not causing in their hearts a resentment. Resentment towards society, the church, or their parents.

So this fathers day, let us begin to work on being present. Present as a spouse, as a friend, as an uncle or aunt, present as a father-figure to the fatherless.

And ultimately, let us learn how to become a church that is fully present…not just close.

Let’s pray.