The Blessed Father

Proverbs 4:1–4 NIV

Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother. Then he taught me, and he said to me, “Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live.

Introduction

Being a father has been both the most rewarding, and the most challenging experience in my life.

When I was 30 years old, my son Jaden entered into the world.

Jaden was smart, organized, quiet, and so well mannered.

Jaden would get around adults and it was nothing but compliments.

As I raised this young child I found myself thinking that being a father was easy!

All these people warning me, and trying to prepare me, obviously had no idea who they were talking to.

I have got this role of a Father down!

As matter of fact, I can write a book about being a father...

Or so I thought...

Then my son Jude was born…

And immediately I realized that my supposed success of being a father to Jaden had much more to do with him than it had to do with me.

Parents, how many of you can relate?

Although this is not every parent’s story, many parents can relate.

The first child comes along and it’s easy.

The second child comes along and it’s work. It’s hard work.

Transition

Well today, I want to seize this moment and share a word to the Father’s who are here today.

As I speak to the Father’s I believe there is a word here for the church as well, but make no mistake today is a very necessary word to Father’s today. I won’t gloss over this day, becuase too much is at stake.

The Role of Father

The role of Father is a sacred role. It is the role that God asks men to take that is a reflection of his relationship with humanity.

Let me tease that out a bit…

Women take on the role of the church, becuase the church is the bride of Christ. When we speak about the church we often will use metaphors of attributes that are found in mothers.

When we talk about the body of Christ, we use words like our brothers and sisters. We get to describe our relationship to one another as siblings in Christ. That’s why you’ll hear words like brother in Christ, or sister in Christ.

But for the fathers that are here today, we are asked by God to take on the role that is a descriptor of him.

He is called, “Our father in heaven...”

He is called “Father to the fatherless...”

He says, “I will be your father, and you will be my sons and daughters...”

With such a great responsibility, how can we become blessed fathers?

A Blessed Father Knows God

Father’s come in all shapes and sizes, and I am using that as a metaphor.

Some father’s are builders. They can literally build you a home. They will pour the cement, frame the house, add the dry wall, do the flooring, the whole nine yards.

Some father’s are coaches. They will coach their children in all of their sports. They will dive into the what it takes to develop their children in athletics, or academics, or the arts, or whatever. They have an inclination to teach, mentor and develop. They are coaches.

Some father’s are great with numbers. They have managed their finances so well that they teach their children to budget, they find ways to encourage their children to save, and they always prosper with whatever they have because their Dad has a high acumen for numbers.

Some Dad’s are great with tech. They cannot build you a home, but they have a high acumen for technology, and they are paid handsomely for what they know in the tech space.

Father’s come in all shapes and sizes, and it does not matter what the Father knows or what he excels in, but there is one very important thing that every Father must know, and that is Knowing God.

When you know God you get a clear image of what it means to be a father.

Yes there are books on how to be a better father. Yes there are TedTalks that can point you in the direction of being a better father. There are sermons about being a better father. All of these are helpful and they are good.

But none of these are a replacement for a man who knows his father.

A man who knows his father is a man who meets with his father. (Presence)

A man who knows his father is a man who speaks with his father. (Prayer)

A man who knows his father is a man who reads about his father. (Scriptures)

If there is one thing that this country needs more of is it needs more men who know their father.

According to Father Strong, an organization that is committed to training and equipping fathers, 18.4 million children are living without their biological father. That is a national statistic, not a global statistic. Just in our nation there are 18.4 million children.

Sadly, I can now by memory recount the statistic that 84% of the male prison population are men who grew up without a father.

In 2020 we went through a pandemic due to a virus. But there is another pandemic that we have been living through and it is a pandemic of fatherlessness.

Why do men run from their role as father? Because they do not know the Father.

When we know the Father we reflect the Father.

There is an interesting verse that ends the Old Testament. Never has this verse had more application than I believe it has right now.

Malachi 4:6 ESV

And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”

If we can’t get father’s to turn back to their children, and children to turn back to their father, we are headed toward a cursed future.

We need father’s who know God, and reflect our Heavenly Father.

A Blessed Father Honors his Family

Father’s are called to honor their families, and to put their needs ahead of his. There are two verses I want to read together.

Ephesians 5:28 NIV

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Psalm 103:13 ESV

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

When we consider these verses we see that we are called into honor that sacrifices our needs for the sake of their needs.

I was shook to my core when I considered that one day my son will stop asking me to carry him. You don’t get a warning. No one gives you a countdown.

Your son or your daughter will ask you to lift them up and without any notice, that will be the last time you lift them up.

Or, it will be the last time they ask you to throw the ball with them.

Or, it will be the last time they ask you to have a tea party with them.

Or, it will be the last time that you take them from the car asleep from the drive home and you lay them in their bed.

How do you live a blessed life, fathers?

You never take for granted the opportunity to love and to honor your family.

You never take for granted the opportunity to serve your spouse.

Fathers, one day your children will leave, and the way that they treat their spouse will be according you treated yours. Have you set a good example? Have you treated your wife the way you want some snotty nosed boy to come and treat your daughter once they get married?

If you do this right, you don’t just set an example, but you set a standard.

Your ceiling becomes their floor.

A Blessed Father Disciples His Family

There are many things that you can give your children as you honor them, but one gift that I believe excels over them all is the gift of discipleship.

A child’s early nature is to be discipled.

Think about how when little kids see their father doing something around the house. The child wants to participate. The child wants to mimic their father. The child want’s his own set of tools.

Why is that?

God has designed us with a desire to learn. We are knit together with curiosity in our hearts.

As we get older that desire changes, and here is how it has changed.

God has deposited within us a desire to know Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Dad, listen to me. There is a holy curiosity in the heart of your child that can only be satiated with knowing God.

And, it is your responsibility to teach him.

I began to intentionally disciple my son Jaden now that he is 13. Yes, I have been teaching him for much more time than that, but the level of intention has increased. Once a week he wakes up with me. We pray together. We read the Bible together. We discuss the scriptures together. I am giving him books to read. We watch podcasts together and we take notes on the what the teacher is saying.

That’s my system.

You need to develop yours.

Find what works for you, but find something.

It used to be that discipling your children was so that their spirit man would grow. But now more than ever discipleship has become training for the spiritual war that is going on around our children.

Hear me Lighthouse Church - the prince of this world has begun his attack on our children.

The enemy does not just attack Mom & Dad, but he is now targeting our children.

Early on in 2020 I could not believe that my children were going through a pandemic. All I could do was be vigilant. I needed to be aware of the times and like a shepherd, I had to protect my flock; my family.

But it has become increasingly evident that ideologies that are against God’s word are trying to plant seeds in the minds and in the hearts of your child.

So what do we do?

We sow seeds of the word of God.

We teach our children the ways of Jesus.

We light ourselves on fire with the power of the Holy Spirit and we let the warmth of our fires ignite a fire in them.

I am not trying to scare you Fathers, I’m trying to wake you up.

Disciple your children. Train up a child in the way of the Lord, so that when he is old he will not depart from it.

Conclusion - A Blessed Father Never Stops Growing

In my quiet time I was reading from 1 & 2 Samuel this week. Something leaped out to me from the text as I read about King Saul.

King Saul was anointed to be King, and God would have established his household as generational Kings of Israel, but he did not grow.

I don’t have time to unpack the entirety of his life, but this is illustrated when Saul was waiting for the Prophet Samuel to come and offer sacrifices to the Lord before the army went into battle. Saul could not wait and proceded to move ahead of God and lead men into battle without Samuel’s sacrifice.

That day Samuel rebuked him. That was a bad day for Saul.

A similar moment would happen later in Saul’s life when he was waiting on confirmation from the Lord to enter into battle with the Philistines. Rather than wait, he went to a medium, or a psychic, to hear from God. Saul could not wait, and the Lord took the Kingdom from his hand and when the Lord spoke to Him through this event it was to tell him that he and his sons would die in battle.

Saul did not learn from his earlier mistake - and it cost him everything.

Father’s, I want to leave you with this thought.

Experience alone is not a teacher - but it is evaluated experience that will cause you to grow.

You must never stop learning. You must never stop growing.

This world is going to keep changing and your reluctance to change won’t make it stop.

You must settle on your values, because those do not change, and you must seek out wisdom in how to apply these values in a changing world. But you cannot afford to stop growing.

Grow in your faith.

Grow in your relationships

Grow in your rhythms

Grow in consistency

Grow in your health

We can keep highlighting more areas of growth, but I believe you get the point.

If the father grows, the family grows. When the father stops growing, the home stops growing.

Call

Today we want to pray for our father’s today. Father’s can you come forward?

I want to pray over you. As I pray for you, I’m going to ask the church to extend their hands to this altar as we cover them in prayer.

[Prayer for fathers]

Now, I’ll close with a special time for families to come and join their father’s and pray together. Our worship team will lead us, but if family is here, let’s come find our father’s here and together let’s worship our heavenly father together.