Forgiving… And Forgiving Again...

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is generally defined as, “a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.”

The story of how I came to choose this topic - No Easy Jesus by Jason Mitchell

Explain the reason of why this is such an important topic for me - Situation with dad and him not being there

Explain what I learned about him at camp in 2021 - him having another daughter who is now 17 years old

talk about the lesson I am learning about how forgiveness is a process

Jump into how this relates to Biblical forgiveness

Matt. 6:9-15 ““Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. ‘Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. ‘Give us this day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’ “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

In this we see that we are called to forgive others who wrong us because that is what God did for us

Eph. 4:30-32 “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

We should be kind to one another and forgive each other

It is like the Buddha quote that says, “HOLDING ON TO ANGER IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE.”

Not forgiving is often more painful than just letting go and forgiving

This is not to say that forgiving is easy, but with it, you can start to heal

C.S. Lewis once said that, “GETTING OVER A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE IS MUCH LIKE CROSSING MONKEY BARS. YOU HAVE TO LET GO AT SOME POINT IN ORDER TO MOVE FORWARD.”

like a fire, put it out early and minimize the damage.

Let’s look at a Rubik’s cube, it represents a relationship in your life.

when trust is broken and pain is caused, it takes forgiveness and effort to fix that relationship

some pains will be easy to fix while others will be a process and take time

Let’s look at another example from the Bible, the story of Joseph

Explain the story of Joseph

Gen. 45:1-8 “Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried, “Have everyone go out from me.” So there was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard of it. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. “Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. “For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. “God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. “Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt.”

Leading up to this Joseph demonstrated his love and forgiveness by providing for his family and not returning their money for the grain, but I believe that the entire process following that was to see if their heart had changed, if they could be trusted again.

There is the phrase in English, “Forgive and forget” but I think that a better way to think about it is that when we forgive, we give up our right to bring that up again, it happened and it is not right to act as if it didn’t, but the goal is to move past it and learn from it and not be tied down by it anymore… it is a process… it is a choice...