A Secret Identity - Phil 4:10-14

Introduction

Reminiscing is uniquely human. We love to get together, tell stories, and walk others through the cherished memories of our lives. And, after we’re done talking about those days that were so many years ago, how do we often end it? “I wish I could go back to those simpler times. I would give anything to be in my parent’s house. I would give anything to go back to the chaos of my children being young again.” Inevitably, we will admit: “Those were the happiest times of my life.”

It’s like the great theologian Andy Bernard once said: “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” The irony is that, by every way that we typically measure a person’s life, your life would appear to be happier now. You probably have a better job and more money. You probably have a nicer home and car. You have more freedom than you did then. But, there’s often an admission that you’re less happy. What happens is that we buy the same lie that Adam and Eve bought when they ate the fruit: “The more you can have, the happier you can be.” But, what we actually learned is: The more you need to be happy, the less happy you will be. You see, we spend our lives building and accumulating and achieving because we think it will add to our lives, but what it really does is give us more to maintain, sustain, and worry about. We become more worried about keeping what we have and continuing our trajectory of success than we do about actually enjoying what God has provided to us already.

God’s Word

And, very often, this leads to an identity crisis. We stand upon the lives that we’ve built over the course of decades and realize that despite of all that we’ve done and accomplished and accumulated that we just aren’t very happy. So, we turn inward, and we begin to ask: “Why don’t I have the ability within me to be happy and at peace? What’s wrong with me that I can’t even enjoy what should be the best times?” Well, Paul says that he has the secret, and thankfully, it’s an open secret. To get there, I want us to come Two Realizations About Life in Christ: (headline)

You are not your “situation.”

Most of what determines the shape of your life was decided for you. You didn’t choose your parents, but that has a major impact on who you are and what your life looks like. You didn’t choose what country you were born into or the socio-economic level of your family. You didn’t choose your gender or your size or your IQ or your giftedness. You didn’t choose how healthy you would be or whether or not your children would be born with special needs. All of these have a tremendous impact on the shape of your life and the experience that you have in this life. So, it’s easy to believe that it’s your situation — whatever that situation is at any given moment — is what defines you.

That is, it can appear as though we’re born as nothing more than creatures of great need, and our ability to flourish is dependent upon how well our situation meets those needs. When we reduce our lives to nothing but our needs and our situation, then our entire lives becomes about chasing down the fulfillment of our needs, which end up having no end.

But, Paul has a different perspective.

Your needs don’t have to “define” you.

Philippians 4:11-12 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

Paul is writing this letter from a Roman prison. He’s been locked up for serving God with all of his heart. He’s penniless and at the mercy of his captors as to whether he will even have food to eat and water to drink. But, what does he say? “Not that I am speaking of being in need.” Paul is not saying that he has no needs. “Being brought low” means to live in deprivation. “Hunger” is a basic human need. He even says that he’s lived in both “abundance and need.” He has needs. But, these needs aren’t ultimate. That is, Paul may have basic needs, but he doesn’t regard himself as a needy person. Paul is redefining our concept of “need” by saying that even in times of great physical and social need, that he has all that he really needs. His sense of neediness is not situational. He isn’t more or less because of what he has or doesn’t have. That is, he isn’t more or less secure, more or less joyful, more or less at peace because of any particular situation — good or bad — that he finds himself in. His needs and his neediness don’t define who he is.

This is the exact opposite of how many of us have been trained to think. (I will show the following by drawing a cup. It’s constantly seeking to be filled by various fillers. It’s level dependent upon the situation. Insecure!) We have been trained to think of ourselves as need cups whose happiness, health, and peace depend upon how well our needs are met. There are a variety of sources from which we seek to be filled. Perhaps, the most primary is love. From our relationships with other people, we seek to have our levels raised through acceptance, approval, loyalty, and concern. So, we go to our parents, spouses, kids, friends, and colleagues, and our hope is that they would fill up our cup by loving us. We also seek to be filled through achievement. Especially if love has been hard to come by, we can begin to have a disoriented view of our ability to perform well at our job or as a mom or as a little league coach. Winning, however we define it, becomes a means by which our cup is filled. Pay raise. Kids that are well-rounded. Trophies. There’s also a place for religion here. Because we have eternity hardwired into our hearts, people will often turn to some sense of spirituality or transcendence to fill them up. It may be yoga and meditation, or it may be going to every church service you can find. But, you’re trying to be filled. And, when those don’t work or when you don’t believe those will work, we seek to be filled by rebellion. Rebellion is always an attempt to self-medicate. It may involve alcohol and drugs. It may be with a mistress. It may be abandoning your family’s values. But, it’s an attempt to be filled when you still feel empty.

Because we view ourselves as need cups dependent on all of these external sources to fill us, our sense of being full and satisfied is dependent upon our situation. My levels go up and down with my marriage. They go up and down with the behavior of my kids. They go up and down with my performance at work, or even my sense of appreciation at work. They go up and down based on my sense of performance in my relationship with God. My fill level is always fluctuating with my situation.

And, whenever our sense of self and satisfaction is dependent upon our situation, it’s very insecure. We can lose it at any moment. And, even when the stars align perfectly so that all of life is going the way you’d hope, you have trouble enjoying it because you’re so worried you’re going to lose it. It’s a recipe for misery. It’s a pathway to identity crisis.

And, Paul is using his situation in prison to make the point that his situation doesn’t define him or his sense of security. And, just as important to him, is that they recognize that whatever deprivation he may know isn’t what’s driving him to serve and encourage and love them.

Your needs don’t have to “drive” you.

Philippians 4:10 “I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.”

Why does Paul go to such great lengths to explain that he really isn’t as needy as his circumstances may say? It’s because he wants these Philippian Christians to see that he loves THEM, not what they can do for him. He isn’t loving them because he might get something in return. He isn’t dependent upon them. He’s loving them because he loves them!

You see, a need cup understanding of yourself disables you from being able to love properly and purely. If I need you to fill my cup, I can’t properly love you. I can’t properly prioritize or appreciate my job. I can’t serve my church with a pure heart. Why? Because I have an ulterior motive the whole time — to fill my cup. I’ve reduced my spouse, my kids, my friends, my job, my church, my community involvement, even my Lord to nothing more than fuel pumps whose job is to keep my cup full. My actions of love toward any of these things has behind it a love for myself.

You see, the gospel turns this understanding of ourselves on its head. The gospel says that our identity is assigned by God and purchased by Christ. It is not the result of our situation or circumstances. It secures us by filling us to the brim with goodness of Jesus. As a result...

You cannot be “emptied.”

Most people believe that Stoic philosophy which was very prominent in Rome and Philippi forms the context for what Paul is writing here. The Stoic philosophers believed that a person must not be controlled by their experiences in life, whether good or bad. Rather, through the rationality of their minds and the resolve of their will they were to have an iron jaw so that neither devastating hardship would take them low nor thrilling success would take them high. They believed that contentment was the greatest virtue that a person could attain. And so, they weren’t all that different from us. They were always searching for the “secret” that would enable them to be unfazed by life’s circumstances. And, what does Paul say? He says, “I know the SECRET! And, because of Jesus, it’s an open secret available to anyone.”

And, here’s the secret: You aren’t enough. But...

Jesus is “enough.”

Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

“Contentment” is a Stoic word. It’s the word that the Stoics would use to mean self-sufficiency. It was a word that was intended to describe one’s ability to tap into internal, personal resources and strength that would prevent you from being impacted by external circumstances. And, this is where Paul’s secret is found. The hope that we have to not be defined by the needs that we have and the circumstances we experience should be found within, but it can only be found within the Christian. You see, contentment doesn’t come from you tapping an inner, personal resource that you have. You’re not enough. Contentment comes from realizing that Jesus is within his people, and He is enough.

You see, Jesus lived in the midst of deprivation. Jesus died as a result of his situation. And, Jesus overcame it all through the resurrection. He proved that He is enough. And, He promised after his resurrection: “I am with you always, to the end of the age.” So, before you couldn’t face your life and be content. You couldn’t. You couldn’t face the deprivation of love and still thrive. You couldn’t face a miserable job and not resent your life every day. But now, you can because now you have a resource beyond yourself. So, ‘THROUGH HIM’ you can face it all.

You see, the glory of the gospel is that through the Holy Spirit...

Jesus “fills” you.

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Ephesians 3:19 “and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

Romans 5:5 “and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

You see, “through him” you are continually, always, forever being “strengthened.” This verse doesn’t mean what many of us thought it meant. This is not the power that you need to make the game-winning shot. This is the power that you need to have joy whether you make it or miss it. This is not the power to help you nail the job interview. It’s the power to be fully secure whether you get the job or not. This is not the power to help you speak in front of a crowd. This is the power to find your approval in Christ whether or not you’re booed from the stage. This is the power of Christ in you to have contentment regardless of what you have, joy regardless of what you experience, hope regardless of what you face.

(Show by redrawing the cup and showing it filled by Christ.) Why? Because Jesus has filled your cup to the top, and He has filled your cup forever. Paul explains it that way in his prayer for Ephesus: Ephesians 3:19 “and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” He says that’s the reason the Roman church can persevere in joy despite looming persecution: Romans 5:5 “and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Their hope is rock solid because their cup is forever full!

I want you to feel the security of that. That’s Paul’s intention for Philippi, Ephesus, and Rome. Your cup cannot be emptied. Preach that to yourself. When you have a hard meeting where someone’s opinion of you may be lowered. What’s the secret? My cup is full! When you have a test that seems to define your future if you pass or fail, what’s the secret? My cup is full! When you have a presentation when your prone to worry about opinions or when you can’t buy what you want or when you are passed over for the promotion, what’s the secret? My cup is full, and they can’t take that away!

In this way...

Jesus “releases” you.

Philippians 4:10 “I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.”

Philippians 4:14 “Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.”

Earlier, I showed how we’re going to all of these different sources and asking them to fill us up. Our relationships, job, churches become like gas pumps for us, which means that we can’t really love as purely as we should. But, when you’re already full, now the arrows reverse direction. Notice this is what Paul is doing. He didn’t need the Philippians to provide for him. He knew Christ would do that. So, Paul is able to love the Philippians whether they provide for him or not. He even says, that he takes greatest joy not in what they have given him, but in how God will reward them as a result. He’s able to love them purely and properly.

(Draw the arrows going outward rather than inward.) You see, Jesus so fills you that now you have more than enough, and you begin to overflow the glory and grace of Christ everywhere you go. Jesus releases you to love as you should. Since my identity and security as a person isn’t contingent upon how you accept me, approve of me, or appreciate me, now I can really love you just because I love you. I don’t have to change myself so you’ll love me. I’m full. I don’t have to withhold difficult words that are for your good. I’m full. I can really love you. I’m not taking from my spouse, my kids, my job, or my church. I don’t need anything. I’m full. Now, I’m overflowing so that others can receive life through me. And, that’s the starting line of real and durable joy.

Not only does this release me to really love, but it also releases me to really enjoy the good gifts and graces that God has given to me. Paul can really enjoy how God used the Philippians to provide for his need. He can really delight in the good gifts God has provided through them. The remainder of chapter 4 is really a testimony of this. (Draw the teabags as sweeteners, instead of fillers.) When my spouse or my kids or my friends or my job or my achievements were the source of my life and security, if I lost one of them, then I lost my life, too. My world was ruined without any hope of recovery. But, when Christ is my fill, when Christ is the source of my life, my hope — as Paul puts it in Romans 5 — will never be put to shame. My life is always secure. So, I can see all of these good gifts — wife, kids, ministry, appreciation — as they really are, sweeteners of life. Now, without them, life isn’t as sweet. Without them, grief and pain are really known. But, it isn’t the end of life. It’s grief, but it’s grief with joy. Why? Because my cup, though not as sweet as it once was, is still just as full.

So, this morning, who are you? Are you a need cup with no hope of being filled? Are you going to spend your life running from fuel pump to fuel pump hoping you don’t run out? Or, do you have the fill of Christ? Has his fill released you to love and enjoy what He has provided?