Tongue Trouble
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Jesus is lord
We so often take the wonderful gift of speech for granted and abuse an ability that ought to be guarded and used to the glory of God.
Before we consider some of the sins of the tongue, we ought to note the blessings of a godly tongue. (This demands a godly heart, because the tongue only speaks what the heart treasures.)
When used for good, the tongue is like:
When used for good, the tongue is like:
Valuable silver
A beautiful and fruitful tree of life
A refreshing well of water
A healthy dose of medicine
The tongue should be used for right purposes:
The tongue should be used for right purposes:
Bringing peace
Giving wise reproof to the erring
Delivering lost souls from death
Teaching people the things of the Lord
Carrying the good news of the Gospel
But Satan and the flesh want to control the tongue, and the results are sad.
Perhaps more damage is done to lives, homes, and churches by the tongue than by any other means.
It is sobering to realize that the tongue can be used to damage reputations and cause trouble, when it ought to be used to praise God, pray, and witness to others about Christ.
5 In the same way, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts of great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze.
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its desires.
13 Do not present the parts of your body to sin as instruments of wickedness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and present the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness.
The tongue is a “little member” of the body, but it is one member that must be yielded to God as a tool of righteousness
Perhaps if we consider some of the sins of the tongue, it might encourage us to use our gift of speech more carefully.
I. Lying
I. Lying
17 He who speaks the truth declares what is right, but a false witness speaks deceit.
18 Speaking rashly is like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
19 Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
20 Deceit is in the hearts of those who devise evil, but the counselors of peace have joy.
21 No harm befalls the righteous, but the wicked are filled with trouble.
22 Lying lips are detestable to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.
God hates a lying tongue
16 There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to Him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
The truth is eternal, but lies will one day be revealed and the liars judged.
20 Deceit is in the hearts of those who devise evil, but the counselors of peace have joy.
Verse 20 explains that it is deceit in the heart that makes a statement a lie.
After all, the lips can utter true words, but if the intent of the heart is evil, the statement is evil even if true.
The truth will deliver souls (14:25), but lies only lead to bondage and shame.
25 A truthful witness saves lives, but one who utters lies is deceitful.
Note:
Note:
4 A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar gives ear to a destructive tongue.
Proverbs 17:4 indicates that liars enjoy listening to liars.
People who enjoy listening to gossip will turn around and gossip themselves.
The heart controls the ear as well as the lips.
But all liars will be punished (19:5, 9); and when they “eat their own words,” it will be like gravel.
17 Food gained by fraud is sweet to a man, but later his mouth is full of gravel.
Hell is waiting for the one who loves and practices a lie!
15 But outside are the dogs, the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.
II. Talebearing
II. Talebearing
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels that go down into the inmost being.
Moses warned about this sin in Lev. 19:16.
16 You must not go about spreading slander among your people. You must not endanger the life of your neighbor. I am the LORD.
A “talebearer” is one who runs from person to person telling matters that ought to be concealed, whether they are true or false.
8 Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
When we love others, we seek to help them privately, and we try to win them back to the right way.
Think how many people have been wounded by the talebearer.
Words can be as deadly as weapons!
18 Like a club or sword or sharp arrow is a man who bears false witness against his neighbor.
Solomon compares deceitful words to three different weapons:
A maul (battle-ax) that crushes at close range.
A sword that cuts.
An arrow that pierces and can be shot from a distance.
19 He who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid the one who babbles with his lips.
9 Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but he who brings it up separates friends.
III. Talking Too Much
III. Talking Too Much
13 An evil man is trapped by his rebellious speech, but a righteous man escapes from trouble.
6 A fool’s lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating.
7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.
The idea behind these verses is that the fool talks too much and talks his way right into trouble.
His mouth becomes a trap, and he himself is snared by it.
A controlled tongue means a safe life; a loose tongue means poverty.
3 He who guards his mouth protects his life, but the one who opens his lips invites his own ruin.
23 There is profit in all labor, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
IV. Talking Too Soon
IV. Talking Too Soon
13 He who answers a matter before he hears it— this is folly and disgrace to him.
19 My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger,
Too often we are slow to hear—we never really listen to the whole matter patiently—and swift to speak; and this gets us into trouble.
It is wise to “restrain the lips” until you really have something to say.
19 When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.
A godly person will study to answer, but a fool will open his mouth and pour out foolishness.
Potiphar did not listen to Joseph’s side of the story and committed a great crime because of it.
Jesus and the Apostles were not permitted to tell their whole story; the verdicts were passed by their enemies before the cases were honestly tried.
God wants us to search out each matter carefully and then give fair judgment.
17 The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.
Proverbs 18:17 warns us not to agree with the “first cause” that we hear but to seek to understand both sides of a matter.
Even where dedicated Christians are involved, there are two sides to a story.
This is not because people necessarily lie, but simply because no two people see and hear the same matter in the same way.
All of us need to pray:
3 Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.
V. Flattering
V. Flattering
28 A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth causes ruin.
Flattery, of course, is a form of lying, but it is so dangerous that it deserves separate attention.
28 A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth causes ruin.
For an X ray of the flatterer’s mouth:
9 For not a word they speak can be trusted; destruction lies within them. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.
Flattery is insincere praise given by one who has selfish motives.
“Flatter” and “flutter” belong to the same family of words, and you can just see the flatterer as he “flutters” around his victim, trying to impress him.
We are warned not to meddle with people given to flattery.
19 He who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid the one who babbles with his lips.
Honest rebuke is better than flattery.
23 He who rebukes a man will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue.
6 The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
NOTE:
Of course, there is a place for honest praise in the Christian life.
12 But we ask you, brothers, to acknowledge those who work diligently among you, who preside over you in the Lord and give you instruction.
13 In love, hold them in highest regard because of their work. Live in peace with one another.
VI. Quarreling
VI. Quarreling
16 A fool’s anger is known at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
18 Speaking rashly is like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
There is a righteous anger, but too often it becomes unrighteous anger and leads to arguing and displays of temper.
An angry person keeps adding fuel to the fire only to make the matter worse, and angry words are the fuel.
21 Like charcoal for embers and wood for fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
The best way to stop an argument is with soft words.
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Being able to control one’s temper is the same as ruling an army or an empire!
32 He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city.
Conclusion:
Conclusion:
1. Do I have all the facts?
2. Are my words helpful?
3. Are my words gentle and kind?
4. Is it my place to speak?
5. Are these words timed correctly?
6: Is the medium of my communication private and following the biblical model?
If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, regard him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.