Ephesians 6:1–4

Ephesians 6:1–4 (ESV)

Children and Parents

6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1–4 (UBS5)

Children and Parents

6 Τὰ τέκνα, ὑπακούετε τοῖς γονεῦσιν ὑμῶν [ἐν κυρίῳ]1· τοῦτο γάρ ἐστιν δίκαιον. 2 τίμα τὸν πατέρα σου καὶ τὴν μητέρα, ἥτις ἐστὶν ἐντολὴ πρώτη ἐν ἐπαγγελίᾳ, 3 ἵνα εὖ σοι γένηται καὶ ἔσῃ μακροχρόνιος ἐπὶ τῆς γῆς. 4 Καὶ οἱ πατέρες, μὴ παροργίζετε τὰ τέκνα ὑμῶν ἀλλʼ ἐκτρέφετε αὐτὰ ἐν παιδείᾳ καὶ νουθεσίᾳ κυρίου.

Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary The Submission of Children

A person who grows up with a sense of respect for and obedience to his parents will have the foundation for respecting the authority of other leaders and the rights of other people in general.

Matthew 15:3–6 (ESV)

3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” 6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.

Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary The Submission of Children

Children have to be trained to obey and honor their parents by their parents. The book of Proverbs is full of truths to guide parents in this training of their children and to guide children in obeying their parents. The proverbs are essentially a series of lessons for parents to teach their children, and its theme is: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching” (1:8). Parents are not infallible, but they are the child’s primary God-given authority and source of training. “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments” (3:1), the writer of Proverbs says. “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction. When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me and said to me, ‘Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live’ ” (4:1–4). The father taught his son what his father had taught him. God plans for believers to pass on His instruction from one generation to the next.

Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary The Submission of Children

A child can have no greater inheritance than the godly teaching and example of his parents. “My son, keep my words, and treasure my commandments within you. Keep my commandments and live, and my teaching as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart” (Prov. 7:1–3). The “apple of the eye” refers to the very front of the eye, the pupil. Because it is extremely sensitive, exposed to irritation, and is critical to vision, it is instinctively protected. An obedient child should cherish and protect the godly teaching of his parents more carefully than he protects his eyes.

Growth for children occurs intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially.

Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary (The Negative Command)

Harvard University sociologists Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck developed a test (that proved to be 90 percent accurate) to determine whether or not five- and six-year-olds would become delinquent. They discovered that the four primary factors necessary to prevent delinquency are: the father’s firm, fair, and consistent discipline; the mother’s supervision and companionship during the day; the parent’s demonstrated affection for each other and for the children; and the family’s spending time together in activities where all participated (Unraveling Juvenile Delinquency [Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard Univ. Press, 1950], pp. 257–71).

Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary (The Negative Command)

The Christian psychiatrist Dr. Paul Meier gives a similar list of factors that produce right parent-child relations: genuine love of the parents for each other and for the children; firm, consistent discipline; consistency of standards for parents and children; the right example by parents; and the father as true head of the home. He also comments that the vast majority of neurotics have grown up in homes where there was no father or where he was dominated by the mother (Christian Child-Rearing and Personality Development [Grand Rapids: Baker, 1980], pp. 81–82).

Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary (The Negative Command)

My family’s all grown and the kids are all gone. But if I had to do it all over again, this is what I would do. I would love my wife more in front of my children. I would laugh with my children more—at our mistakes and our joys. I would listen more, even to the littlest child. I would be more honest about my own weaknesses, never pretending perfection. I would pray differently for my family; instead of focusing on them, I’d focus on me. I would do more things together with my children. I would encourage them more and bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to little things, like deeds and words of thoughtfulness. And then, finally, if I had to do it all over again, I would share God more intimately with my family; every ordinary thing that happened in every ordinary day I would use to direct them to God.