Anger / Kindness

The difference between envy and jealousy. There is some overlap so I’ll try to distinguish them this way:

Jealousy is a fierce protection of one’s rights or possessions. It is a desire to keep what already belongs to you. In this way God is referred to as a jealous God. He wants what is his. In the Ten Commandments God describes himself as a jealous God, therefore we are not to worship other gods or bow their idols. We belong to God.

Envy is a discontented or resentful longing for another’s possessions, qualities, or luck. The Ten Commandments has a command against envy, though it is translated “covet.” It is a desire for what belongs to someone else.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (Exodus 20:17)

In the Greek, the word envy comes from two words: evil and eye. Envy is an evil eye – seeing what belongs to others and desiring what it doesn’t have.

Let’s turn to Numbers 12 where we will see a picture of envy acted out. The Israelites are out in the wilderness being led by Moses.

Numbers 12:1–16 (NIV)

1 Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife, for he had married a Cushite. 2 “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses?” they asked. “Hasn’t he also spoken through us?” And the Lord heard this. 3 (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.) 4 At once the Lord said to Moses, Aaron and Miriam, “Come out to the tent of meeting, all three of you.” So the three of them went out. 5 Then the Lord came down in a pillar of cloud; he stood at the entrance to the tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When the two of them stepped forward, 6 he said, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams. 7 But this is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. 8 With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?” 9 The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them.

10 When the cloud lifted from above the tent, Miriam’s skin was leprous—it became as white as snow. Aaron turned toward her and saw that she had a defiling skin disease, 11 and he said to Moses, “Please, my lord, I ask you not to hold against us the sin we have so foolishly committed. 12 Do not let her be like a stillborn infant coming from its mother’s womb with its flesh half eaten away.” 13 So Moses cried out to the Lord, “Please, God, heal her!” 14 The Lord replied to Moses, “If her father had spit in her face, would she not have been in disgrace for seven days? Confine her outside the camp for seven days; after that she can be brought back.” 15 So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on till she was brought back. 16 After that, the people left Hazeroth and encamped in the Desert of Paran.

What do we see about envy in this passage?

Envy questions authority.

It was envy of God’s position and wanting to be like God that led Eve and then Adam to eat from the tree on knowledge. It was envy that led Cain to kill his brother when God accepted Able’s offering and not Cain’s. It was because of envy that Saul tried to kill David. It was out of envy that the religious leaders handed Jesus over to Pilate to be crucified. It was envy that led Miriam and Aaron to question Moses’s authority. It wasn’t that they didn’t have authority. Aaron was high priest and Miriam was a prophet. They held a place of honor among the people. But they wanted more. They wanted what Moses had. So, they began to question Moses’ authority. What made him more special than them? Why should the people follow Moses any more than them?

James says that where there is envy there is disorder and evil. Envy cannot get along with authority and so tries to remove it.

Envy grumbles.

Envy complains. In the last chapter it was the people who were complaining. They were constantly grumbling against God and against Moses. In this chapter it is Miriam and Aaron, two people who should have known better. As leaders, as Moses’ own brother, they should have known better. But their envy got the better of them. Because envy wants what another person has, it can never be happy with what it has. Therefore, envy is left with grumbling and complaining.

Envy finds fault.

Miriam and Aaron were quick to find fault with Moses. There is no indication of what might have been wrong with Moses’ wife. But because of their envy they were looking for ways to criticize Moses. If they could find faults with Moses they would look better.

I want you to remember this one thing about finding faults in others: if you look you will find them. As sure as the sun came up this morning, you will find faults wherever you look for them. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins. If your desire is to tear someone down by pointing out their faults, it won’t be difficult. If instead your desire is to build them up, you will find reasons to compliment the same person if you will only look for them. You find what you are looking for.

Dwight L. Moody once told the fable of an eagle who was envious of another that could fly better than he could. One day the bird saw a sportsman with a bow and arrow and said to him, “I wish you would bring down that eagle up there.” The man said he would if he had some feathers for his arrow. So the jealous eagle pulled one out of his wing. The arrow was shot, but it didn’t quite reach the rival bird because he was flying too high. The first eagle pulled out another feather, then another until he had lost so many that he himself couldn’t fly. The archer took advantage of the situation, turned around, and killed the helpless bird. Moody made this application: if you are envious of others, the one you will hurt the most by your actions will be yourself.

How can we defeat envy in our lives? I have two suggestions. First, pray for those for whom you are envious.

FB Meyer was greater preacher in London who attracted large crowds. It wasn’t long however, before he found himself surrounded two even more popular preachers: Charles Spurgeon and G Campbell Morgan. Meyer’s attendance began dwindling. Meyer confessed that at first, he was envious and that the only way he could overcome his feelings was to pray. When asked about it, Meyer responded,

I find in my own ministry that supposing I pray for my own little flock, “God bless me, God fill my pews, God send my a revival,” I miss the blessing; but as I pray for my big brother, Mr. Spurgeon, on the right-hand side of my church, “God bless him”; or my other big brother, Campbell Morgan, on the other side of my church, “God bless him”; I am sure to get a blessing without praying for it, for the overflow of their cups fills my little bucket.

You cannot pray for someone you are envious of. Nor can you long be envious of those for which you pray. If you find yourself in the situation, pray.

And second, be thankful for what you have. Be thankful for the abilities God has given you. Be thankful for God’s blessings. Envy is a sign of dissatisfaction with what you have. We are told to be thankful in everything. We learn to give thanks we will learn to be content.

Concerning envy, Proverbs 14:30 says,

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

A heart at peace is a heart content with what it has. It gives life. But envy, the desire for what others have, will bring only death.

Let’s face some facts. The fact of the matter is that there will always be someone better than you are: smarter, better looking, richer, stronger. There will always be someone with more gifts and more abilities. No matter who you are, there is always someone out there who is better. If we are in the habit of always comparing ourselves with others, we are going to come out on the short end of the stick.

If them envy is the sin, what is virtue? Most contrast envy with kindness. Some contrast it with love. I think the two are so closely intertwined that they’re hard to separate. In fact, you could replace the word “kind” for “love” in Paul’s description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and it would still ring true.

What is kindness? I don’t think we really need to ask. We recognize it as soon as we see it. We also recognize when we aren’t.

Kindness is polite. Kindness cares. It takes care of others and looks out for their needs. Kindness is not arrogant or rude. Kindness seeks the best for others. Kindness, unlike envy, is able to rejoice when others do well, and doesn’t gloat when they fail. Kindness listens to those who just need an ear. It gives up its seat to someone in need. Kindness does not discriminate – it is good to everyone.

Perhaps one of the best stories of kindness and love in the Bible is the Parable of the Good Samaritan. You will remember that Jesus was telling the story as an explanation of what it meant to love a neighbor. I won’t retell the story this morning but only remind you of the relationship between the Jews and Samaritans. I’m not sure how the Samaritans felt toward the Jews, but we know how the Jews felt about the Samaritans. The Jews hated the half-breed Samaritans. It is that dynamic that makes this story so compelling. Here is a man that has been treated unfairly by the Jews. So, what does he do when he finds a Jewish man lying helpless on the side of the road? He shows kindness. He demonstrates love. Let’s look at six distinguishing features of kindness found in this profound story.

First, kindness will take action.

The Samaritan didn’t pass by or ignore the one in need. The Samaritan took action to do what he could to help meet the need. Kindness is love in action. Kindness is not an attitude we develop in our heart; it is not a new way of thinking about the situations we encounter. Kindness has to get out; kindness held in is not kindness at all.

Kindness is love serving. To serve others requires action. Kindness will give; it will share. Kindness will provide for others; it supplies what is lacking or needed. Sometimes all that is needed is a kind word.

Second, kindness will take a risk.

The Samaritan didn’t stop to consider if the robbers were still hiding behind the rocks. Or what if it is all a trap and the Samaritan became the victim? The Samaritan was willing to put his possessions and even his life in jeopardy to offer kindness to the one who was in need.

What if Jesus had wanted to play it safe? What if He didn’t want to take any chances? We would still be lost in our sin without any hope for salvation. Jesus was willing to take a chance and risk everything so he could meet our need. The wages of sin is death. Jesus was not worried about the price. He determined to provide what we needed no matter what. That’s what kindness does; it will take a risk.

Third, kindness will pay the price.

The Good Samaritan didn’t examine the man’s wounds and then calculate the cost. The Samaritan was willing to pay the price and do whatever it took to help the man in need. Wine was poured on the wounds to purify and prevent infection; oil was added to comfort and soothe. The Samaritan paid for the man’s care at the inn; he paid the price!

The price was paid even without the guarantee that the man would recover from his wounds or even that the man would be thankful for his assistance! Jews hated Samaritans, but the Samaritan didn’t let this prejudice keep him from giving to meet a need. Kindness pays the price regardless of the outcome. Paying the price means you assume the risk.

Fourth, kindness will put others first.

The Samaritan didn’t worry about his schedule for the day. He didn’t think about himself but put the needs of the wounded man ahead of himself. Not only did the Samaritan give of his resources, but he also gave of his time. Putting others first often means being willing to give of ourselves and of our time.

Fifth, kindness will finish what it starts.

The Samaritan didn’t just bandage the man’s wounds. He didn’t just take the man to a safe place where he could receive more help. He even did more than pay for room and board the man would receive. He also promised to pay whatever else was needed to nurse the man back to health. The Samaritan finished what he started.

Concerning kindness, Stephen Grellet wrote:

I expect to pass through this world but once, any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow-creature, let me do it now, let me not defer to neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again

Sixth, kindness does not seek recognition.

What was the Good Samaritan’s name? Jesus doesn’t tell us. The Good Samaritan does not seek out the priest and the Levite to promote himself over them. The Samaritan is content to remain unknown. Likewise, our kindness is not to elevate our reputation, or make us look good in the eyes of other people. Real kindness does not seek to find glory for oneself; instead, kindness gives glory to God.

An elderly lady always went to the local post office because the employees were so friendly. Once she was waiting in a long line to buy stamps just prior to Christmas. The man in line behind her said, “Mamma there’s no need for you to wait in line; you can buy your stamps at the machine in the lobby.” The old woman said, “I know, but the machine won’t smile or ask about my arthritis.” The only action the machine could provide was to dispense stamps, but the action of the employees dispensed stamps and kindness!

Colossians 3:12 instructs us:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Kindness isn’t demonstrated much today – nor is it expected. We live in a world where everyone is expected to take care of themselves. But what the world needs is love and kindness, the kind that was displayed by the Good Samaritan and by Jesus on the cross.

Kindness, like love and forgiveness, isn’t given because it’s deserved or been earned, but because God has richly given his lovingkindness to us. God has blessed us by sending his Son to die for our sins.