Prayer - Marriage

Sermon 4 - Prayer

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

What I want to tell you today that right in the middle of rejoicing and giving thanks is contiual prayer. Your marriage will not thrive without continual prayer.

Review:

Real Love: Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.

Biggest Problem: Me and the sin (selfishness)

We are not at war with our spouse, we are at war with the sin and selfishness we still have.

God’s Purpose: Transform you. Holiness not happiness is His purpose (happiness is on the other end of holiness).

Month of June - the sacred heart of Jesus - Merciful and redeeming heart love.

St. Augustine statue, a bible in one hand and a burning heart in the other.

Christianity is a religion of passion and love. It is not stoic and passive. The Spirit’s indwelling presence ignites our hearts on fire for Him in love with Him. Love doesn’t mean the absence of war but rather the very presence of it. We are at war with everything that doesn’t love God in us and others.

What ignites this fire of love and passion for God and our spouse?

The ingredient in your marriage for maintaining love and passion for God and relationships: Prayer

When we get married:

We get married with the best of intentions, excited and filled with anticipation of the future. We know it will take work and we are ready to go but 2 things occur. These things are the enemies of passion and a burning heart of love for God and others.

Comfort and business.

We go from attention and action to assumption (they are ok, they know I love them) and passivity.

It goes unnoticed because we are so busy.

This gives place to sin and its selfishness to grow. We stop paying attention. We are tired, full schedules.

Little conflicts, subtle remarks, issues that are left unaddressed eventually turn into major conflicts.

Instead of giving attention and service, our own demands and irritations take center stage. Slower to forgive and quicker to criticize.

The garden of our heart and relationships are now filled with weeds where flowers that we intended.

The Ingredient to Protect Our Marriages:

The ultimate ingredient to protect our marriages from mere comfort and busyness and to keep the fire and passion and war against anything that isn’t love is Prayer.

Reminder - The only way our horizontal relationships will flourish is by a flourishing and passionate relationship in love with the triune God.

Prayer reminds us of what we are (in need) and what God is (gracious and giving and loving me).

God’s love for you is passionate. It is hot, it burns and consumes us. He doesn’t fall in and out of love with us, he is love. His light is always shining and his heart is burning in love and compassion for you. His love wars and fights for our hearts. Hates SIN with passion because of what it does to us taking us away from him and destroying ourselves and each other.

He is wooing us, bidding us come and dine with Him. To taste and see His goodness and His love.

Christianity is not boring or cold, It’s our relationship with Him that is all consuming, where we like David in Psalm 42:1-2 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”

We meet with God in His presence in Prayer.

How to pray?

Jesus taught us (being God and human would be the ultimate authority to tell us how to pray. He knows what we are and who we are). I want to extract from His teaching several points that this prayer will remind us of and protect us from.

Matthew 6:7-15 NKJV

5 “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. 7 And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

8 “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. 9 In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

The depth and density of this prayer is unimaginable, so I hope to bring out a few points of things this prayer reminds us of and protects us from.

Our Father in Heaven

We are not alone in our lives marriages and relationships. We are never outside the fatherly care of God. As a father he is committed to provide what is best for us.

Have you forgotten God’s presence in every moment of everyday?

Here’s the big point of this: When we forget we get overwhelmed and frustrated because we try to do God’s job ourselves.

No matter where you are, you don’t know how you got here, you can pray and remember that you are not alone.

Prayer reminds you that you are never alone and Protects you from the pride of self-reliance.

Hallowed by your name. Your kingdom come your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

This reminds us that the purpose of our marriage is bigger than the marriage itself. it’s easy for us to tend to lose sight of the grand purposes and design of marriage in our busy life.

Without care and attention we will begin to seek our own kingdoms our own will and demand service for our own selfish desires, wants and needs.

Whose Kingdom are you seeking today? You make a terrible god-king and life would be so less stressful if you let God be king of your life and marriage and together seek Him.

Prayer reminds you that marriage is bigger than your marriage and Protects you from being the god of your own kingdom.

Give us this day our daily bread

The implicitness of this request reveals the truth about us. We are completely and utterly dependent beings. We will physically die without the basic necessity of food and water.

We are not designed or created as independent self-sufficient beings. We aren’t God but yet we still try to control everything as if we could and then get mad and angry and stressed out when things out of our control don’t go our way.

So imagine that if we will die due to the lack of something as simple as bread, imagine the spiritual condition of those who do not pray.

Daily prayer acknowledges daily need. Weekly prayer acknowledges weekly need - 6 days I am god and self-sufficient. Imagine someone who ate once a week, imagine someone who prays once a week.

As a dependent being, I am reminded that I am not in control of things. I don’t control the earth, the economics, the circumstances around me, I have no control over the way people treat me or think of me. I have no control over any person and only by the power of the spirit do I have self-control. I have no control or power to ensure my marriage and family’s well-being. Prayer places my trust in the one who does have the power to control and do the impossible.

Prayer reminds us that we need God’s provision and protects us from the delusion of independent control and power.

Forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors

This reminds us that we must share the same grace we have received from Jesus with our spouse.

Prayer requires us to love as we have been loved. To forgive as we have been forgiven, to show mercy as we have been shown mercy.

This is humbling, because the one necessary and most valuable asset we have - the love of God - was something we could not have earned. It was given.

This calls us to celebrate that undeserved love and give it to others undeservedly.

Prayer reminds us that we are passionately loved and to love and forgive especially when it isn’t deserved and protects us from self-righteousness.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

This reminds us that our marital problems are not outside of us, the problem isn’t how much money we have, it isn’t the circumstances we find ourselves in, the problem is inside, the sin and selfishness that has not been transformed.

This humbles us by realizing we have not yet arrived, we can be destructive and we need transformation.

This calls us to quit blaming our spouse and accept responsibility and receive forgiveness and help from the throne of grace in time of need.

“It is only when both confess that it is the sin inside them that leads them to do what is wrong in their marriage - not the failure of the other - that each hungers for growth and change and then reaches out for God’s help. - Paul David Tripp

Prayer reminds us that we have not yet arrived, we need God’s grace to change and protects us from blaming others.

For yours is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Marriage must be rooted in pursuit of and allegiance to God’s Kingdom, not our own.

Life is not about you, we are not the center of the universe. Jesus is.

God is not a character in our story, we are characters in his.

Prayer reminds us that the hope of our marriage is only in submission to the King and protects us from the kingdom of self.

In Closing:

There is never a time we are not in need in our marriage

There is never a time we don’t need to remember His love and mercy for us.

There is never a time where I have grown beyond the need for his forgiveness

There is never a time where I have graduated from needing his grace.

There is never a time where I don’t need to stir my heart of love an passion for God and others.

So there is never a time where I may cease praying.