Reasons for Remaining Single

1 Corinthians 7:25-40. "Reasons for Remaining Single" Ajax Alliance Church. Sunday July 9th, 2023. 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. [25] Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. [26]I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. [27] Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. [28] But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. [29] This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, [30]and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, [31]and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. [32]I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. [33] But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, [34]and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. [35]I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. [36] If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry--it is no sin. [37] But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. [38] So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. [39]A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. [40] Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God. (ESV) Like many people, playwright Maria Headley had had her fill of terrible dates. Discouraged and looking for love, she decided the time had come for her to eliminate her own (clearly not adequately discriminating) taste from the equation. Instead -- as she vowed to her roommates one frustrated morning -- she would date every person who asked her out for an entire year, regardless of circumstances. It would be her Year of Yes. Over the next 12 months, Maria ended up dating most of NYC: a homeless guy who thought he was Jimi Hendrix, a subway conductor, a mommy-obsessed millionaire, a woman who asked her to have her baby, a 70-year-old salsa dancer, a Colombian Cowboy/Handyman, Her high school nemesis, whom she'd spent seven years rejecting, and THE MIME: A man in the Marceau Mold who proposed with hand gestures and more. In Her words, the Year of Yes is the story of how one woman went looking for a new kind of love...and found a new kind of life. The people in Corinth had some interesting ideas about being single as well. Written from Ephesus during the Apostle Paul's third missionary journey from 53-57 AD, 1 Corinthians 7 commences the second part or division of this Epistle, or, "the discussion of those points which had been submitted to the apostle in a letter from the church at Corinth, for his instruction and advice. A strategic commercial center, Corinth was one of the largest cities in the Roman world and one of the most corrupt (Acts 18:1). Full of false teachers, immature believers and people of all kind of ideas, the Christians in Corinth got into a lot of difficult situations considering Marriage and singleness. Not much is different today. Everyone seems to have an opinion on marriage and singleness. The discussion from friends and family, the talk shows and tabloids, the efforts in single bars to books in secular bookstores seem endless, and being single is almost regarded as being odd and a problem to be rectified. Weather we are single or married, how we view the single affects our parenting, mentoring, friendships, but most importantly the role that single people have in God's kingdom. Is Singleness a problem we do our best to solve for people or is it an opportunity for a special group of people to serve in God's kingdom in a unique way? Continuing to answer the questions about which the Corinthians had written him, in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, the Apostle Paul gives six reasons for remaining single: (1) The Pressure of the System(1 Corinthians 7:25-27); (2) The Problems of the Flesh (1 Corinthians 7:28); (3) The Passing of the World (1 Corinthians 7:29-31); (4) The Preoccupations of Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:32-35); (5) The Promises of betrothed (1 Corinthians 7:36-38); and (6) The Permanency of Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:39-40). People should consider singleness because of: 1) The Pressure of the System (1 Corinthians 7:25-27) 1 Corinthians 7:25-27. [25] Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. [26]I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. [27] Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. (ESV) Paul begins his argument noting that Jesus gave no direct teaching on the goodness of singleness. His discussion begins regarding the betrothed/virgins. The term virgins probably refers to virgin women who were engaged but not yet married (see 7:36). Apparently, there was a controversy in the Corinthian church over whether engaged couples should go ahead and marry (Pratt, R. L., Jr. (2000). I & II Corinthians. Holman New Testament Commentary (Vol. 7, p. 119). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.). Paul has no direct command from the Lord, although Jesus did allude to singleness in Matt. 19:12. Yet the apostle's teaching is no less divine and authoritative. Paul's opinion, qua opinion, as much as his injunction, is that of the Lord's mouthpiece." The problem in this case is that Paul cannot lay down a fixed, universal rule. What should be done depends on the individual's circumstances (Garland, D. E. (2003). 1 Corinthians. Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (p. 322). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.). His judgment/opinion (gnōmē) can carry the idea of "consideration, and conviction." Paul writes his epistle by divine inspiration and not by human insight (2 Peter 1:20-21) (Kistemaker, S. J., & Hendriksen, W. (1953-2001). Exposition of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. New Testament Commentary (Vol. 18, p. 237). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.). As an apostle who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy, Paul's conviction was that it is better for single Christians to remain single, if they have the gift from God. Although this perspective is authoritative, it is not given as an absolute or as a command. It is an authoritative guideline, thoroughly dependable advice, and is twice stated in verse 26 to be good. Paul and the Lord are saying that singleness makes good sense. The first reason Paul gives for remaining single is the Pressure of the System, the world situation, that he called the present distress. Ἐνεστῶσαν present may also express something which is not simply present, but the presence of which foreshadows and inaugurates something to come. Hence it may be rendered impending or setting in. (cf. Rom. 8:38.) (Vincent, M. R. (1887). Word studies in the New Testament (Vol. 3, p. 220). New York: Charles Scribner's Sons.) The Distress (Anankē) means "a stress, calamity," or sometimes "the means of calamity" (such as torture or violence). Several matters of a general kind are known to have been critical at that time. One was the shortage of food in the eastern Mediterranean due to the protracted famine which began in the late forties and whose effects were felt for many years. This was exacerbated by a coincidental series of heavy floodings of the Nile, preventing harvests for some years from the 'food bowl' of the Roman world. Food prices were inflated for many years due to these natural disasters. Local rioting due to food shortage and overpricing was common. It is known that the Emperor Claudius distributed food relief throughout Greece in the early fifties. Another problem, local to Corinth, was Claudius' creation of an Imperial Cult in Corinth in AD 54 which must have placed considerable pressure on Christians to offer public worship to the gods. Evidence from the present letter suggests that the 'present distress/crisis' was related to a spate of recent illnesses and not a few deaths within the congregation (see on 11:30). Outbreaks of plagues were common in the unhygienic settlements of that time, whose stench could be smelled some distance away. Disease wiped out whole populations of cities. Food shortage, social unrest and disease possibly combined to create a 'distress/crisis' that had struck Corinth at the time Paul wrote this letter (Barnett, P. (2000). 1 Corinthians: Holiness and Hope of a Rescued People. Focus on the Bible Commentary (p. 125). Ross-shire, Scotland: Christian Focus Publications.). * Persecution is difficult enough for a single person, but the problems and pain are multiplied for one who is married. If Paul was still married, his suffering would have been magnified by his worry about his family and knowledge of their worry about him. They would have suffered every time he was beaten or stoned or imprisoned and would have been constantly fearful for his life. Who would have taken care of them in his absence? Who would have taught his children and comforted his wife? Please turn to 1 Timothy 4 Paul did not use the word married (NIV) in verse 27, but rather the phrase "bound to a wife/woman". In all likelihood, Paul had in mind those who were betrothed or promised in marriage. In ancient Israel betrothal was practically equivalent to marriage (see Deut. 22:23-24) (Pratt, R. L., Jr. (2000). I & II Corinthians. Holman New Testament Commentary (Vol. 7, p. 120). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.). Such people must not seek to be free. Marriage is a lifelong bond that can be broken only by death, adultery, or divorce by an unbelieving spouse. Other problems, no matter how severe, are never grounds for divorce. Paul explained this to Timothy: 1 Timothy 4:1-4. [4:1] Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, [2] through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, [3]who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. [4] For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, (ESV) Paul's referent back in 1 Corinthians 7:27, is for those who have the gift of singleness, therefore, it is much wiser to remain single. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. "Cherish your singleness as a blessing from God," Paul is saying. "Take advantage of its many advantages." As it would be difficult to be a Christian in the Roman Empire in coming days, Paul was advising church members to stay focused on the Lord and on the business of sharing the gospel. (Barton, B. B., & Osborne, G. R. (1999). 1 & 2 Corinthians (p. 106). Tyndale House.) Illustration: It is a fact of history that both John Wesley and George Whitefield might have been better off had they remained single-Wesley's wife finally left him, and Whitefield traveled so much that his wife was often alone for long periods of time. It is possible to please both the Lord and your mate, if you are yielded to Christ and obeying the Word. (Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (1 Co 7:25). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.) People should consider singleness because of: 2) The Problems of the Flesh (1 Corinthians 7:28) 1 Corinthians 7:28. [28] But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. (ESV) Paul again makes it clear that it is not a sin for single believers to get married, as long as it is to another believer (v. 39; cf. 2 Cor. 6:14). Even those with the gift of singleness do not sin if they get married. So, if you do marry, for whatever reason, you have not sinned. The point is that marriage is a legitimate option, but it is good to consider first the option of singleness. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. The apostle is giving practical advice, not a moral or spiritual command. Believers are still sinful and subject to limitations and weaknesses of the flesh. It is hard enough for a sinner to live with himself, let alone with another sinner. When two people are bound together in marriage the problems of human nature are multiplied. Close living allows us to see our partner's faults more clearly. and vice versa. Children of Christian parents are born sinful just as is every child, and naturally do not become sinless when they are saved. They will have some measure of conflict with each other and with their parents. It is not that marriage is not rewarding, or that family life is uninterrupted trouble. A loving, devoted, spiritual family not only is a great joy and strength to its members but also strengthens and blesses those around it. Paul is simply pointing out that marriage may cause some problems while it solves others. It is not intended by God to resolve all personal, emotional, or spiritual difficulties. It definitely intensifies some of them. Troubles (thlipsis) literally means EXTERNAL SITUATIONS where one is "pressed together, or under pressure." Marriage presses two people together in the closest possible ways. The two become one, but they are still two personalities, two distinct people with their own likes and dislikes, their own characteristics, emotions, temperaments, and wills. Each partner has some degree of anger, selfishness, dishonesty, pride, forgetfulness, and thoughtlessness. That is true even of the best marriages. Illustration: 1566 Home Front Crumbling America's ambassador to Japan, Douglas MacArthur II, served as Counselor of the State Department under John Foster Dulles. Like Dulles, MacArthur was a hard worker. Once when Dulles telephoned the MacArthur home asking for Doug, Mrs. MacArthur mistook him for an aide and snapped irately, "MacArthur is where MacArthur always is, weekdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and nights-in that office!". Within minutes, MacArthur got a telephoned order from Dulles: "Go home at once, boy. Your home front is crumbling." (Tan, P. L. (1996). Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations: Signs of the Times. Garland, TX: Bible Communications, Inc.) People should consider singleness because of: 3) The Passing of the World (1 Corinthians 7:29-31) 1 Corinthians 7:29-31. [29] This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, [30]and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, [31]and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. (ESV) The focus of this passage is at the end of verse 31: for the present form of this world is passing away. Form (schēma) means "fashion, manner of life, way of doing things, or mode of existence." The mode of the world is impermanence; it is passing away. The verb properly means to roll or wind up. Paul talking about the era that encompasses the time in which he lives. Mt 24: 22, Mk 13, 20. The time (kairos) in verse 29 refers to a definite period, a fixed, appointed time; and that period has grown very short or drawn together so that it is a small amount. The verb συνστέλλω means "to draw together" and thus to shrink or to shorten. God graciously compressed the season that is marked by tribulation so that it may not become so extended that his saints cannot bear it (Lenski, R. C. H. (1963). The interpretation of St. Paul's First and Second epistle to the Corinthians (p. 317). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Publishing House.). Paul's concern, therefore, is not with the amount of time they have left, but with the radical new perspective the "foreshortened future" gives one with regard to the present age. Those who have a definite future and see it with clarity live in the present with radically altered values as to what counts and what does not. In that sense it calls for those who want to get married to rethink what that may mean, especially in light of the present distress (Fee, G. D. (1987). The First Epistle to the Corinthians. The New International Commentary on the New Testament (p. 339). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.). * The analogy of the terminally ill comes to mind. For those who have made peace with it, the amount of time left is less in the forefront than is the change of perspective. They see, hear, and value in a new way. Please turn to 1 John 2 Human life at its longest is brief. As James 4:14 wars: yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. As 1 Peter 1:24, puts it into perspective: for "All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord endures forever". The reason why we are foolish focus on the immediacy of this life, is spelled out in 1 John. 2: 1 John 2:15-17. [15]Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. [16] For all that is in the world--the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions--is not from the Father but is from the world. [17] And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (ESV) * This is intended to cause us to as Paul said to the Colossians: Col 3:1 "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. [2] Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth". We must understand the priority of the eternal over the temporal. For husbands and wives to live as though they had none, does not teach that marriage is no longer binding on believers or that their marital responsibilities are reduced. Marriage lasts only for life, and is therefore as brief as life. Yet a brief life and hard circumstances do not lessen the obligations of husbands and wives. He is not advocating celibacy separation or divorce but he does imply that Christians confine marriage to the present age. As Matthew 22:30 specifies: For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. In all the parts of Paul's poetic composition (wedlock, sorrow, joy, wealth, goods, and service), "we ought to be living as if we might have to leave this world at any moment." That is, we should not make earthly things our ultimate objectives (Kistemaker, S. J., & Hendriksen, W. (1953-2001). Exposition of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. New Testament Commentary (Vol. 18, p. 244). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.). * Today it has become increasingly difficult, because of close attachment to families, to get Christians-including missionaries-to be strongly dedicated to serving the Lord. In many cases they do not want to be separated from the companionship of their wives for more than a week or two at most, even though an important ministry may need more time than that. There must be a balance, a scriptural balance, between fulfilling marriage needs and serving the Lord. In addition to marriage, Paul gives four other areas in which priorities and perspectives must be kept right. The second and third areas have to do with the emotions of sorrow and joy. Those who morn in verse 30, should live as though they were not mourning; and those who rejoice, as though they were not rejoicing. The most widespread disease today is "I" disease-people focused on themselves, analyzing why they're depressed or why they're discouraged. But the more they analyze themselves, the more depressed they become. Paul's remedy is simple: Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). In other words, get involved with how others are doing. It's amazing what will happen. The Lord will use you, and you'll be set free if you get your eyes off yourself. (Courson, J. (2003). Jon Courson's Application Commentary (p. 1042). Thomas Nelson.) The fourth area of concern is that of finances and possessions: and those who buy, as though they has no goods. The accumulation of money and of the things it can buy is a preoccupation of many Christians, who in this regard cannot be distinguished from the unbelieving world around them. Many of us are more concerned about our bank accounts, houses, and cars than about our spirituality-more concerned about the outward than the inward. More leisure, more vacation time, earlier retirement, more comfortable homes, and such things can so occupy our interest and time that the things of the Spirit are neglected. Many under the excuse of "providing for their families" do in fact neglect their families and the Lord's work by over working. The fifth area of concern is that of pleasure: and those who deal with the world, as though they has no dealings with it. In times of affluence, ease, permissiveness, and inordinate self-acceptance it is easy to live for pleasure. Pleasures that are not immoral or extravagant may still be worldly. The Christian should not be like the Gnostic Stoic's who abstains from pleasure or the Hedonist that just lived for it. The calling of the Christian is to live out our calling, using our gifts and talents to God's glory. If life brings sadness, live beyond it, do not be bound by it. If things are joyous, do not be engrossed in them. Those who are blessed with material possessions are not to cling to them, as though they were to have them always. The reason for this challenge is that the material things (this is the meaning of schema, v. 31, "the present form") of this world are changing and disappearing (cf. Col 3:12-14) (Mare, W. H. (1976). 1 Corinthians. In F. E. Gaebelein (Ed.), The Expositor's Bible Commentary: Romans through Galatians (Vol. 10, p. 235). Zondervan Publishing House.). As we see in verse 31, we are strongly attached to the present form of this world, even though we know it is passing away. We are warned in Matthew 6: [19] "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, [20] but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. [21] For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". None of the five areas about which Paul warns is inherently bad. Marriage, sorrow, rejoicing, possessions, and pleasure all have a proper place in the Christian life. In fact, each is a part of God's provision for life here. We should not overvalue those things, knowing that they are passing away. Being engaged with the world is one thing; becoming enmeshed in it is another. Becoming wrapped up in the world is to become wrapped in a death shroud. One can continue to buy, sell, and marry-in sum, to use this world-but one must recognize that the things of this world are passing away/short-lived. He exhorts the Corinthians never to get so lost in the things of the world that they lose sight of this conviction (Schrage 1964: 151). The world should never be the means whereby persons attempt to create and define their lives (Garland, D. E. (2003). 1 Corinthians. Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (p. 331). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.). * As with all things, we ought to be living as if we might have to leave this world at any moment. We should not make earthly things our ultimate objectives. Whether we are married, cast in sorrow, given to joy, or acquire possession, Christians should not become absorbed by them. They should see the transient nature of these things and know that after having passed through this earthly vale, believers will enter eternity. Hymn: Martin Luther captured this thought in song: Let goods and kindred go, This mortal life also; The body they may kill, God's truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever. People should consider singleness because of: 4) The Preoccupations of Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. [32]I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. [33] But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, [34]and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. [35]I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (ESV) The fourth reason for staying single is the preoccupations that marriage brings. The one who is unmarried (here agamos is used in a general way) is anxious/concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord and how to be holy both in body and spirit. The unmarried person doesn't have to worry about changing the baby's diapers or going out to buy food for the family. He or she can give his or her time to the things of God (McGee, J. V. (1991). Thru the Bible commentary: The Epistles (1 Corinthians) (electronic ed., Vol. 44, p. 88). Thomas Nelson.). Both husbands and wives are, according to verse 33, anxious about worldly things. They are concerned about the earthly needs of each other, as they should be. The husband is anxious about how to please his wife, and the wife according to verse 34, about how she to please her husband. The married person's interests are divided between the earthly and the heavenly. Even with dual obligations, regardless of our marital status, Christ expects primary devotion. If we are unmarried, we should give him our undivided devotion and see that as one of God's good purposes for our being unmarried at this present time, whatever changes may take place in the future. If we are married, we should encourage each other to give the Lord Jesus our united devotion. If we do this honestly, we will please each other most by pleasing him (Prime, D. (2005). Opening up 1 Corinthians (p. 68). Day One Publications.). The unmarried (here agamos is used in the sense of divorced) and or betrothed/virgin woman, (in contrast to those single by divorce) are able to be holy in body and spirit. Holy is used here in its basic sense of separation, being set apart. Single Christians, whether formerly married or never married, are not intrinsically more righteous or faithful than married ones. But they are able, because of fewer family demands and obligations, to be more devoted to the Lord's work. Practically, the unmarried person, both in body and spirit, is potentially able to set himself or herself apart from the things of this life more exclusively for the Lord's work than is the married. Such a woman offers herself in service to God. (Barry, J. D., Mangum, D., Brown, D. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Ritzema, E., Whitehead, M. M., Grigoni, M. R., & Bomar, D. (2012, 2016). Faithlife Study Bible (1 Co 7:34). Lexham Press.) Why is the apostle saying these things? Is he trying to lay on them some Guilt trip? He explains his rationale in verse 35:[35]I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (ESV) Paul states this in the plural pronoun you, and therefore is concerned with the spiritual and physical welfare of all believers in Corinth. The single person, has a choice. He is free to marry or not. He is not under restraint to remain single. His choice is not between right and wrong but between good and better.Paul was not putting a legalistic noose (the literal meaning of restraint) around the necks of single Christians. They are not under compulsion either to marry or to remain single. In advising them to remain as they were, he had two motives, both of them for their own benefit. He wanted to spare them trouble (v. 28; cf. v. 32), and he wanted them to have undivided (undistracted) devotion to the Lord. The word devotion has the idea of waiting alongside the Lord as those who serve (cf. 9:13). Paul is saying, "if you avoid marriage you avoid encumbrances, and you can devote yourself to the Lord's work without incurring problems, difficulties, and anxieties, which married people incur." (Oster, R. (1995). 1 Corinthians (1 Co 7:35). College Press Pub. Co.) Illustration: Singles in Church History Some of the greatest leaders of church history lived their whole lives as singles: Saint Francis of Assisi, Thomas Aquinas, Joan of Arc, Teresa of Avila, Thomas à Kempis, Bernard of Clairvaux. More recently, Protestant leaders such as Methodist circuit rider Francis Asbury, missionaries Amy Carmichael and Helen Roseveare, and German martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer were all single. C. S. Lewis was a bachelor for most of his life, married at age fifty-seven, was married for only four years, and remained a celibate widower after his wife's death. British theologian John Stott, in his seventies and never married, has had a significant worldwide ministry. (Albert Hsu, "Singleness: A Biblical Perspective," Discipleship Journal, Issue 108, 36.). People should consider singleness because of: 5) The Promises of Betrothed (1 Corinthians 7:36-38) 1 Corinthians 7:36-38. [36] If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry--it is no sin. [37] But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. [38] So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. (ESV) In Jewish culture, parents, and particularly fathers, had long had a dominant role in deciding whom their children would marry. In light of the extant teaching about the advantages of singleness, some of the fathers in Corinth apparently had dedicated their young daughters to the Lord as permanent virgins. Again, the emphasis here is on the option believers have in regard to marriage. If the intended partner is a Christian, marriage is always permissible. A father who had vowed his daughter's remaining single in order to serve the Lord more devotedly was free to change his mind and allow her to marry if she were insistent. After all, it was a vow made for someone else, and was therefore subject to that person's spiritual needs. Therefore, that is why Paul states in verse 36: If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry--it is no sin. In contrast to certain philosophers of the Greek and Roman world who could justify sexual pleasure only for the sake of procreation, the apostle Paul does not even mention procreation but rather affirms that sexuality and its sensual manifestations in the state of marriage are in harmony with God's will (Oster, R. (1995). 1 Corinthians (1 Co 7:36). College Press Pub. Co.). Verse 37 deals with a different situation: "But whoever is firmly established in his heart", that is, one who does not change his mind about the promise; and is under no necessity by the betrothed to change his mind; and has a good and pure motive (having his desire under control) and is deeply committed (determined this in his heart); he may keep her as his betrothed. Only the daughter's unwillingness to keep the vow should cause the father to change his mind. His steadfastness in his vow will encourage his daughter to be steadfast in hers. In doing that he will do well. Among choices that are morally good and not sinful, God can still give different opportunities for service, which will have different consequences (Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (p. 2202). Crossway Bibles.). Paul finally repeats the option in verse 38: So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. (ESV) As with the single themselves (v. 28), the choice is not between right and wrong but between good (well) and better. A father must never assume that it is part of his duty to see his daughter 'married off' and that if she remains unwed, he has failed her (Naylor, P. (2004). A Study Commentary on 1 Corinthians. EP Study Commentary (p. 200). Darlington, England: Evangelical Press.). Illustration: Amy Carmichael Although 1 Corinthians 7, recommends the single life, for unmarried people have more time for the Lord and fewer burdens to distract from his work. But it isn't an easy road, and remaining single requires special grace, as Amy Carmichael found out. Amy Wilson Carmichael (1867-1951) was born in Northern Ireland and educated in a Wesleyan Methodist boarding school. Having a heart for missions, she spent fifteen months in Japan, but suffered there physically and emotionally. She traveled on to Ceylon, to England, then to India where she found her niche at last, working with girls whom she rescued from slavery and prostitution, raising them in her Dohnavur Fellowship. Her life touched thousands, her books have blessed millions, and her work remains to this day. Like most young ladies, Amy, attractive and radiant, wanted to be married. But her great work would have been impossible as a married woman, and God gave her Psalm 34:22 as a special promise. Amy's struggle with this issue was deeply personal, one she was unable to share for more than forty years, when at last she said this to one to whom she rescued, who she called her "children" who was facing a similar dilemma: "On this day many years ago I went away alone to a cave in the mountain called Arima. I had feelings of fear about the future. That is why I went there-to be alone with God. The devil kept on whispering, "It's all right now, but what about afterwards? You are going to be very lonely." And he painted pictures of loneliness-I can see them still. And I turned to my God in a kind of desperation and said, "Lord, what can I do? How can I go on to the end?" And he said, "None of them that trust in Me shall be desolate" (Psalm 34:22). That word has been with me ever since". (Morgan, R. J. (2000). Nelson's complete book of stories, illustrations, and quotes (electronic ed., p. 696). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.). Finally, People should consider singleness because of: 6) The Permanency of Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:39-40) 1 Corinthians 7:39-40. [39]A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. [40] Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God. (ESV) Please turn to Romans 7 This relationship is not permanent in the sense of being eternal but in the sense of being lifelong. It is binding as long as both partners are alive. In any case a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, which is often well into old age and past the time for the majority of life of exclusive service to the Lord. This is written in the perfect tense and refers to an act that has happened in the past with results that extend to the present. If the partner dies, the believer is free to be married, as long as the new partner is in the Lord (cf. 9:5). In marriage as in all else, the Christian must remember that he acts as a member of Christ's body (Morris, L. (1985). 1 Corinthians: an introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (Vol. 7, p. 121). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.). Romans 7:1-3 . [7:1]Or do you not know, brothers--for I am speaking to those who know the law--that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? [2] For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. [3] Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. (ESV) But remarriage is not the ideal; it is not God's best for everyone. As verse 40 concludes, Paul states: in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. Again (cf. vv. 28, 32, 35) Paul makes it clear that he is not giving a command, but is giving counsel for the benefit and blessing of those who take it. A widowed person who has God's grace for singleness will be happier to remain single. Paul's statement I think that I too have the Spirit of God does not lessen but strengthen his point. With a touch of sarcasm he was saying that he, too, had access to the leading of the Holy Spirit-a claim apparently made both by the group that advocated celibacy only and by the group that advocated marriage only. He was still speaking as "an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God" (1:1). His command was God's command and his advice was God's advice. Celibacy is preferred merely on the ground of expediency and not on the ground of its being a higher state of virtue. It is Paul's Spirit-guided judgment that any widow would be happier if she would remain celibate following the death of her husband (Oster, R. (1995). 1 Corinthians (1 Co 7:40). College Press Pub. Co.). For those who are single and wish to marry, you must pray, prepare yourself as a bride is to be adorned for her husband (Rev. 21:2, 19:7-8) and go where you are called. You must discover your gifts, develop your gifts and demonstrate your gifts. This thereby attracts the mate that best first with your status in Christ. Nevertheless, due to the increased suffering marriage would probably bring, the transitory nature of all earthly things and the comparative freedom from care connected with a single life, the world has been changed by the likes of: David Brainerd, Robert Murray McCheyne, and Florence Nightingale, a single life is a unique opportunity for service to the Glory of God. (Format Note: Outline & some base commentary from MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1984). 1 Corinthians (pp. 177-178). Moody Press.) 10