Dancing in Roundabouts

Announcements

Picnic

Blueberry

Sermon

Oops - Submission is one of the most beautiful things in the world…but has become a bad word in our culture

Today’s one another is connective tissue to everything we’ve talked about so far. It makes the rest work. But it’s also misused, mistrusted, and even controversial. So I want to begin with something very clear.

Monica, may I have this dance?

Now this might seem strange for church, but bear with me.

Eric, give us a little music.

Dance for 30 seconds. Talk as needed

Thank you.

Gentlemen, if you haven’t taken your wife dancing in a while… ever...I highly recommend it. I mean only if you like to see a smile like that one.

I’m going to come back to the dancing in a moment. Bookmark that.

The last couple decades have seen the increase in a traffic phenomena knows as the roundabout. I see some groans, I used to do it too, but then I got used them and…then I saw the data.

In every place roundabouts have gone in, traffic flow has increased, accidents on average decrease by 35%, and fatalities and injuries from those accidents drop as much as 75-90%.

They even are better for fuel economy (which matters at $5 a gallon) because you aren’t stopping as much.

Dancing and roundabouts. Two beautiful things that only really work with today’s one another.

Submit to One Another.

If you felt a little twinge in your gut at those words, you are not alone.

In fact, if today’s message doesn’t at some point push your buttons, I’d be concerned.

But mutual submission is essential to everything that brings life and beauty in this world. Not only dancing and roundabouts.

In dancing, Monica has to trust me to lead…and if she won’t…every move will be broken.

In a roundabout, we are trusting every person to yield and merge into the flow.

in our text today, we’ll hit marriage, parenting, and work

But it’s so much more.

It’s at the core of God’s design for us to be his partners, bringing his love, joy, peace and beauty to the world.

It’s at the heart of the cross, God’s submission to the needs of his dearly loved humanity.

It’s what makes being a woven community possible

But, What if…things went wrong with those? Because they do.

What if in my lack of skill, I twirled Monica too fast and made her fall?

What if, as happens, someone ignores the yield sign and causes an accident in a roundabout?

Those are both beautiful and highly beneficial parts of our lives.

Would you stop dancing? Would the roundabout fail to work?

This is how the world views submission. It can be and has been abused, so I’m not going to be on the other end of that. And as Dave put so well last week, we can try to seize control. Make sure we are never in that unsafe place of being submitted. So much safer to have other submit to us.

But the world of dancing and roundabouts is a much better place to be. And as we’ll see, absolutely essential if we are going to be followers of Jesus.

Ugh - If we are going to follow Jesus it is absolutely essential…so we better figure it out

Way back in the beginning of this series we looked at Eph 5:18-20 which ended in a comma. I told you we would finish that sentence later. It’s later.

Here’s a reminder:

Ephesians 5:18-20 “And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,”

We focused on the power song and thanksgiving has FOR one another. Here’s the end of that sentence, which sets up the next several paragraphs.

Ephesians 5:21 “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.”

Why is submission to one another essential?

Aha! - Fear of Christ as the key to freedom to submit

When it comes to it, What stops us from submitting? I think it comes down to thoughts along these lines:

We are the only one who will look out for us.

Giving up control means I don’t have it.

Fear of people, of circumstances, of abuse

The solution is in the text: “In the fear of Christ”

In the Fear of Christ

(put scripture back up)

The word fear is not “Be scared”. It’s in reverence and awe of Christ.

We read the good news accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and we don’t see simply a nice guy or a good teacher, we see men and women falling at Jesus’ feet and declaring him LORD.

We see him submit himself first to his father, and then to wicked men who crucify him.

…we concluded our series on his life last year with his “I AM” statements. Good Friday, the day we remember his death, we heard him say to his disciples, “I am the way”

You want to understand and have a relationship with your heavenly father? Go the way I go.

Elisabeth Elliot once said:

The world cannot fathom strength proceeding from weakness, gain proceeding from loss, or power proceeding from meekness.

She added that Christians get it slowly if at all, because the world still leads us so strongly.

But that is the Jesus way.

Fear of Christ will lead us to do as he says

Fear of Christ will keep our submission in line with the word

Failure to have Fear of Christ means all the other fears keep us captive, will control us in the name of false security and will not allow us to submit. Will not allow us to be who God made us to be.

Fear of Christ is a lifelong process…Usually we have to do it before we feel it.

I was asking a new friend about his tattoos, always a good way to understand a person. And he mentioned one he got that is a saying of his dad’s

Look before you leap

I’ve always liked that saying. It calls for thoughtful consideration, but implies that you still going to jump… Think…but risk

That is where our hearts need to be if we are going to learn to dance in the roundabouts.

Paul gives 3 examples to show us what submission looks like. The biggest one first in our most vulnerable relationship...

Whee! - How does this work? marriage, family, work

Wives and Husbands

Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.”

This is a big truth claim here by Paul. This is built on the truth of the Word from Genesis 1 on. We don’t have time to deep dive on this, but I would be happy to point you toward further resources on this.

But to be clear. To be very clear. This is not a VALUE statement or a SKILL statement or a LIMIT statement. It’s a design statement. And if you stick with me you’ll see how beautiful this is.

But let’s get the other half in here first.

Ephesians 5:25-33 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.” (separate out verse 33 and leave up)

Lots there.

On another day, we can spend weeks in this passage. For today, let me keep it simple.

When I asked Monica if she would be willing to come to the front and dance with me at the beginning of the message, why did she say yes?

Is it because she had to? (giggle)

Is it because in our marriage we never have stupid conflicts? (giggle harder…) You should have seen me as mr moody yesterday.

At the end of the day, and correct me if I’m wrong, it’s because she trusts that I would not ask her to do anything that would hurt her. That I’m not putting her on display, not trying to embarrass her, not trying to control her. That I have God’s best, and then her best in mind.

That fair?

Don’t get me wrong. We do not have a perfect marriage. But we always come back here. And it always steers us right.

Over the centuries, some churches have keyed in on women submitting to husbands…but you may notice the passage for men was longer.

…you know what I saw? Be for your wife what Jesus was for the church. And Jesus “Gave himself for her” sounds like submission.

Jesus gave himself for His church. Philippians says he emptied himself, humbled himself, to the point of death.

Men before your wife submits to you, have you emptied yourself, humbled yourself, laid your life down for her joy and peace?

Women, before your husband dies for you, do you submit to him as to one who has?

It’s another time and place to talk gender roles in marriage. What I need you to see this morning, is that marriage works by dancing. mutual submission

Read that last line again. Nice of Paul to sum it up.

You can wait a lifetime for your spouse to do their part. That’s a recipe for a long and unhappy marriage.

The call for husbands is not to be submitted to. Men, you will not be held accountable for whether or not your wife submits to you as to the Lord.

The call for wives is not to be loved as Christ loved the church. Women, you will not be held accountable for whether or not your husband loved you like Jesus.

I’m held accountable to my part. And I have found over 25 years that when I do my part, her part is easier. And I’ve noticed in myself, that when she does her part, my part is a breeze.

But we both have times where we bungle it…praise the Lord we aren’t both waiting for the other one to get it right.

Before I move on, let me just say, that if your marriage is struggling, let this be a starting point for you. Not to do their part, but yours. And if you need help…ask for it.

A healed and healthy marriage is worth every bit of the work.

Paul has more ways to apply this.

Children and Parents

Ephesians 6:1-4 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Paul quotes the ten commandments here. Your life in the promised land is tied to the honoring of your parents.

Parents are the ones who raised, fed, and taught you all you needed to be who you are.

That is worthy of honor and Paul uses the word, Obedience. submission

If you are still dependent on your parents...

Your parents have responsibility to keep you alive. Do what they say. And do it in a way that is honoring. Some day, you will have kids of your own. And they’ll be like you. And you’ll think, “Hey, these kids are little twerps…wait…was I a twerp?” The answer is yes.

Make your parents lives easier.

I’m not done here, but let’s move to parents for a moment.

Dads are addressed, but this applies to both.

Don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Oh…just like marriage…we can get this wrong too.

Not trying to do an exhaustive parenting sermon today, but be sure to pay attention to KEY things here if you are a parent or a child.

1. this still falls under the main heading: submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.

One another.

That means there is a kind of mutual submission with your kids.

When they are younger, it’s submitting to diaper changes, feedings at all hours, and identifying their emotional and spiritual needs and meeting them.

As they get older, it means surrendering appropriate levels of control. letting them try and fail. Letting them think and process apart from you.

And once they are grown, it means surrendering authority over them, and even allowing them to speak correction into your life.

And kids, when you’re younger, you do what you’re told.

As you get older, and you start to get some freedom, use that freedom in ways that bring them honor, give them joy.

And when you are grown, (there’s a lot of us in this spot…parents and children) be kind and honor the gift they gave you of life.

2. In the same way husbands and wives shouldn’t wait for the other one to get it right...

Kids, your parents aren’t perfect. There I got it out of the way. They will get angry, they will make mistakes, they will pass on to you bad habits, hurts, and if you’re especially unlucky, receding hairlines.

Never forget they were raised by an imperfect parent too. And they have given you what they were equipped to give. They can and should do better…honor them anyway.

Find the good. As you become an adult, identify and be thankful for the ways your parents got it right.

Give them the same grace you want your children to give you someday. Because you’ll make your own mistakes.

Parents…your kids aren’t going to do everything you want. You can try to control, manipulate, guilt, or coerce them…but those things never deepen the relationship.

3. This can be hard.

I have talked before about my own struggles with my parents. This is real life for me.

If you are thinking that there’s no way you can honor your parents. For your sake, i beg you to reconsider. It may need counseling, forgiveness, and you may very well still need to set some firm boundaries.

I get it.

But even in all of that, find the steps to honor your parents as you can.

In the same way, parents, some of your kids have walked away. From you, from faith…They have hurt you deeply.

Find grace for them. Pray for them. Forgive them. Love them anyway.

You might need to set boundaries. You may need counseling. But don’t ever cut the bridge on your side of the river.

You can still bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord by demonstrating the love of Jesus.

And trust me, no other behavior issue matters if they don’t know the love of Jesus. Teach that first.

Luke 15 tells us about a father who’s son walks away, takes half the family wealth and throws it away in wild living.

He did come back. Not as a son, but as a beggar. Only repentant because life fell apart. Jesus tells us this dad is like God the Father.

Let me just read verse 20

Luke 15:20 “So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him.”

You thought the marriage part was tough… Paul has one more, maybe less emotional…but controversial and maybe just as hard.

Slaves and Masters

Ephesians 6:5-9 “Slaves, obey your human masters with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as you would Christ. Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, do God’s will from your heart. Serve with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to people, knowing that whatever good each one does, slave or free, he will receive this back from the Lord. And masters, treat your slaves the same way, without threatening them, because you know that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.”

A lot of teachers like to label this employees and employers. And the concepts work…but that just wasn’t the case.

In 1st century Roman culture, the odds were good you either owned a slave or were one.

Very different than American Slavery. They were still considered human.

This passage was used in our history to justify the abuses of the slave trade. Sickening.

Others since have dismissed Paul or Christianity because it “approved” of slavery.

Neither of those are true. Paul was addressing the world as it was. As it is. And Paul viewed the gospel of Jesus as more important than fixing the issue. The laws weren’t important, how the people of Jesus live and love was paramount.

And he gave this instruction

In your work, do it well. Bless the one you work for like they are Jesus.

Not for appearances, not to please people, but as Slaves of Christ...

With a good attitude...

Anyone here ever had a bad job? Bad boss?

We are blessed. We do have the freedom to find another employer if we don’t want to do what we’re doing, or with who we’re with.

Paul’s readers didn’t.

But the truth holds up.

If you are working for someone, there is a call to submit to them. Work hard, work like you’re working for Jesus himself. Do it with a good attitude.

I think of the examples of Joseph in Egypt, or Daniel in Babylon. They were able to have a tremendous impact as slaves under tyrants because their heart was for their terrible boss.

We keep coming here, but in the same way husbands and wives aren’t held accountable for the submission of each other, kids aren’t accountable for their parents, and parents aren’t accountable for their kids (beyond their role in raising them)…

worker, you are not accountable for your boss’s behavior. You’re accountable before the lord for yours. Your work, your attitude, your kingdom impact in that space. What do you bring?

And you may notice, that in each example the one with the authority position has the higher call...

Paul’s statement to masters , short but RADICAL. Treat your slaves “THE SAME WAY”

They are to serve you as the Lord…you do the same.

Paul is talking to the slave master culture, he’s not trying to abolish it. But he is turning it on it’s head for the gospel.

The book of Philemon is a short letter Paul writes to a Christian slave owner on behalf of a runaway slave who is also now a Christian.

Beautiful brilliant letter. He makes the same point.

You serve them. They are not property, they are your family.

You have authority, and you are to use that authority … like husbands and parents…not to control, but to serve.

Whatever part you play in the workplace, submit to one another in the fear of the Lord.

Yeah - What will you do? What is fear is greater than the fear of Christ? How is that impacting your ability to practice mutual submission? (note Paul’s final words in the letter aside from goodbyes: 6:19-20) What will you do?

Outline up

The world is better when we dance in the roundabouts.

Again, this is the gospel. That God so loved the world he gave his only son. That that son submitted to his loving father, and to men with evil intention and was obedient to death.

And it was in that death that we find our salvation.

But because he surrendered his life freely, he had the power to take it up again, and in his resurrection we have life.

But we have to trust the story. And one of the symptoms of a saved and sanctified (changed) life is the ability…the freedom to submit.

It’s freedom from our need to control

Freedom from fear of others

Freedom from shame

Freedom from rejection

Will you receive that freedom today? For the first time or the tenth, will you be a disciple of Jesus who frees us from fear because he went there first.

Worship team up

is this Difficult? yes.

Controversial…maybe.

We can’t do this alone. It takes Jesus. It takes having enough awe of him, enough trust in his story, enough faith in his absolute love and our true safety IN HIM…to give up the illusion of safety when we strive for control.

Paul gives us three hard examples. Marriage, Parenting, and Work…but the command is universal. Submit to one another in the fear of Christ.

Imagine a church where we get this right…Where the good of the other and the community overrules the want of the heart.

There is power there to change lives. Power to show the world what trust in Jesus actually looks like. Not good behavior, but surrendered lives, at peace with God and one another.

God wants to partner with you in transforming this world. But first, he’s got to transform us into those who can dance in the roundabout.

Pray