Your Own Cistern - Elk City Summer Series

Intro:

Good evening.

(I appreciate the invitation and opportunity to be here tonight — It’s good to see one of my classmates from MSOP - Brandon Tibbits and family).

The topic that I have chosen for this evenings in found in Proverbs chapter 5.

I love the book of Proverbs — It along with Ecclesiastes make up some of my favorite reading in the O.T., so I was excited to see that it would be your Summer Series theme.

Within the book of Proverbs, Solomon gives constant warning for his son to heed the instruction of wisdom, which figuratively cries aloud in the streets, and wisdom of which he should wear (figuratively) like a garment — that is, he should constantly live by wisdom every day!

I always like to note that Solomon’s son — Rehoboam — evidently did NOT listen very well (sadly) because he made an absolutely foolish decision later on in the book of of 1 Kings, resulting in the kingdom of Isreal being split in two, Jeroboam taking the northern kingdom and leading it into idolatry — a disastrous series of events for God’s people.

I know that the young people are in class tonight, but we definitely need to emphasize the things that we are talking about tonight from Proverbs to them.

WHY THE TOPIC THAT I HAVE CHOSEN FROM CHAPTER FIVE?

Because sexual purity is at an all-time low for our country’s culture.

Sexual purity and the lack thereof is not always the most fun topic to discuss from the pulpit or in class or in any setting, but it is very much needed.

It is needed from the CORRECT perspective that is that sex was designed by God for marriage, that it is good and holy IN THE PROPER SETTING — found in Heb. 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

Thus, we also need to discuss this subject from the INCORRECT perspective; that is, the perversion of the marriage bed.

PERVERSION:

We live in a society that has been greatly PERVERTED.

Everything from the clothes that society wears (even clothing designed for children!), to the movies & tv shows that we watch, the COMMERCIALS to the TV we watch, the music we listen to, the billboards we pass along the highway, and even the nightly news — All greatly SEXUALIZED and PERVERTED against God’s original design.

What the perverted people have done is this — They’ve taken God’s original design (one man, one woman for life — Matt. 19:3-12), and they’ve said, “You know what — A little bit of fornication — ‘fooling around,’ as they call it — as you’re dating, well that will be okay.”

(What have they done? They have perverted God’s design — Still dealing with a man and a woman, BUT THEY AREN’T MARRIED! So that’s called … fornication!)

But the devil isn’t content to stop there — He always takes things a step further, and then another, and then another!

Thus, the next step is that once people begin to accept fornication — Why not a little ADULTERY? Why not a little PORNOGRAPHY that depicts such acts and has the audacity to call it “art.”

But that’s not enough — After that, how about a litte homosexuality?

And that’s not enough for them either, as they become increasingly and increasingly PERVERTED — and so before long, what you have coming down the pike is the transgender stuff that we are seeing now, as well as eventually bestiality and pedophilia as well.

Thus the need to talk about God’s TRUE design for sexuality becomes increasingly apparent amidst a society so greatly perverted. (And if we fail to cover it from the Biblical perspective, then the world will certainly step in and cover it THEIR sinful perspective!)

This subject IS a part of the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27); thus, we must preach it.

Now, what I like about the Proverbs chapter 5 teaching of this material, is that it covers it in mostly VEILED language — That is, (I know the young ones are in Bible class tonight, so they aren’t in here), but if they WERE, we could cover this topic carefully and tactfully in a VEILED way, in such a way that the adults in the room would understand the meaning, and the kids — not so much!

So this is a great section of Scripture for covering the whole counsel of God on sexuality without compromising the innoncence of little ears!

(By the way, parents, you probably need to start talking about these things in age appropriate ways younger than you might think!)

Average age of first time pornography exposure of young people is getting younger and younger — We’re talking the preteen years or even younger!

So you have to talk to your kids about this stuff — Especially if they attend our public schools, or if they watch tv.

Let’s begin by reading Prov. 2:10-22 by way of introduction to this topic. (Read it).

Prov. 5:1-14

This section also introduces our main text quite well.

(Read vs. 1-5 — The allure, the temptation, the enticement promise much, but deliver nothing but evil, consequences, and sorrow).

Someone has wisely said:

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay!”

(Read vs. 6-8 — Don’t even entertain the thought, is the idea!)

(Read vs. 9-14 — Consequences — being on the verge of total ruin!)

V. 9 - Loss of reputation, and quite possibly an early demise!

V. 10 - Loss of material wealth — Much material wealth has been snatched up by divorce lawyers and court fees!

VS. 11-12 - Loss of health - literally I think Solomon is talking about sexually transmitted disease!

VS. 13-14 - What was the result of ignoring wisdom’s instruction? Being on the verge of TOTAL RUIN!

Let’s notice our main text tonight now as we discuss “being faithful to ‘your own cistern.’”

Prov. 5:15-23 - Our Main Text:

Again, this language in this section of Proverbs 5 is veiled.

It’s “in code,” if you will, and I appreciate that.

(Read through vs. 15-23 once without commenting).

So what is the cistern here, figuratively speaking?

It is a person’s own spouse.

So in other words, when you read about drinking water from your own cistern (or your own water supply), what it’s talking about is being sexually faithful to your own spouse.

VS. 15-16 - Again, as we stated in the introduction, God’s design from the beginning (taught in Genesis ch. 2) is for ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN, for life.

That includes faithfulness in sexual purity!

V. 17 - Take a look in your N.T. for a moment to 1 Cor. 7:2.

1 Corinthians 7:2 NKJV

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

“His OWN wife … and her OWN husband.”

Echoing the same thing Solomon writes here in Prov. 5 when he says “let them be ONLY YOUR OWN.”

Men, if she’s someone else’s wife, she doesn’t belong to you!

And ladies, if he’s someone else’s husband, he doesn’t belong to you!

The Bible says in Exod. 20:17 - “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” (Certainly the converse is also true - Shouldn’t covet your neighbor’s husband either).

And yet, in our oversexed PERVERTED society, did you know that one 2021 survey reported that 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had had affairs? 46%! Just shy of HALF!

How about a 2020 study that reported that a dating site for married people (encouraging people to seek out extramarital affairs) had an increase of 1500 new users per DAY from 2019 to 2020?!

Houston, we have a problem!

VS. 18-20 - Solomon warns his son here about the particularly strong temptations a young man may face in this regard.

(Young ladies face these temptations too — Why? Biology! Biological urges that God gave us, but He gave them for fulfillment in ONE PLACE — The marriage bed - Heb. 13:4).

Solomon basically says: “Be SO FOCUSED on the wife of your youth, adore her and love her, so that you don’t have time to even ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT of unfaithfulness!”

Before me move on to the last section of Proverbs 5, let’s notice briefly a couple other sections of Proverbs, very quickly:

Proverbs 6:24–29 NKJV

To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.

And Prov. 7:6-27 (read in Bible very quickly if enough time).

VS. 21-23 — This is the bottom line!

God sees everything, and He will punish the evildoer!

As Moses said in Num. 32:23 - “Your sin will find you out!”

Many a sinful deed is committed alongside a whisper — “Nobody has to know” …

… And then they do … Because people find out after all … and marriages and lives are ruined for what?

(A fleeting moment of temporary pleasure).

But what did it cost??? (Everything!)

And negative consequences abound — Both in this life and in the next!

I WANT TO SHARE A QUOTE WITH YOU ON THIS SUBJECT THAT I THOUGHT WAS EXCELLENT:

I got this from Trey Morgan from Trey and Lea Morgan’s marriage workshop:

“Marriage doesn’t cure lust. Self-control is still required. Lust doesn’t care if you are single or married. You may be Solomon in wisdom (had a problem with women), David in praise (sinned with Bathsheba), or Abraham in faith (told half-truths about his wife on two occasions and almost gave his wife to abother man both times!), but if you are not Joseph in discipline, you will end up like Samson in destruction!”

Isn’t that a good quote?!

We have to be like Joseph in self-control!

Remember the story with Potiphar’s wife?

Genesis 39:10 says that “DAY BY DAY” Potiphar’s wife spoke to Joseph trying to convince him to lie with her.

And then in Gen. 39:12 we read “that she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand, and FLED and ran outside.”

Joseph made up his mind that he was not going to participate in this sin against his master, and against his God!

What about SAMSON however?

We read about Samson in the book of Judges.

And who was his temptress?

DELILAH!

(And she succeeded!)

Eventually she persuaded Samson to give up the secret to his strength, his hair was CUT, and it lead to a grave defeat for Israel!

Again, “You may be Solomon in wisdom, David in praise, or Abraham in faith, but if you are not Joseph in discipline, you will end up like Samson in destruction!”

HOW TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE:

Here’s a list of 10 things — (not an all-inclusive liste, but a good start) (in no particular order):

Number 1 - Don’t let your closest/most intimate associations/friendships be with members of the opposite sex.

I’m not saying you can’t be friends.

But I AM saying you have to keep proper boundaries when it comes to the opp. sex!

Which means they don’t need to be your absolute best friend in the world that you tell everything to!

1 Tim. 5:1-2 says that Christians are to treat younger men like BROTHERS and younger women like SISTERS … “WITH ALL PURITY.”

Guard these relationships and observe proper boundaries!

Number 2 - Don’t laugh, joke, or talk about matters of marital intimacy with friends/coworkers/etc.

It’s just not appropriate at all.

Eph. 5:4 says Christians should be involved in “neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.”

People used to be a lot more bashful and ashamed to talk about certain things, but’s not the case sadly anymore.

Number 3 - Don’t say things to or send messages to someone of the opposite sex that your spouse would not approve of.

Number 4 - DO share your passwords for your phone, social media accounts, etc. with your spouse.

Someone says, “Come on, I’ve got a right to my privacy!”

When you’re married to somebody, you become ONE with that person, so they have a right to a free flow of communication and information with you as needed — and that includes things like passwords.

It’s not about you individually — It’s about you TOGETHER in marriage!

Number 5 - Avoid explicit material that incites lust, whether that be online or in print form (including images, videos AND words — romance novels included!)

This is increasingly becoming one of the most common addictions in the world.

And sometimes mere “CURIOSITY killed the cat!” (So don’t go searching for stuff online).

Remember the words of Jesus in Matt. 5:27-30 ““You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

The eyes are the window to the soul — Jesus basically says a variation of that phrase in Matt. 6:22-23!

Job 31:1 - ““I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman?”

Number 6 - Don’t “advertise yourself” as “available” for extramarital activity by the way that you present yourself, the way you dress, or with flirtation or excessive complementation toward someone who is not your spouse.

Number 7 - Don’t be found in a compromising situation alone in a room with the door shut with someone of the opposite sex.

Number 8 - Be mindful of any and all temptations that may come in the workplace and quickly cut them off/“nip them in the bud!” (Barney Fife)

Sometimes someone may use a double entendre that can be taken more than one way, trying to feel you out to see if you will take the bait!

DON’T take the bait!

I remember Glenn Colley saying something in a marriage seminar I attended in Texas one time:

He was telling us how one time he got into an elevator and there was a woman that said to him — “YOU SMELL GOOD.” (She said it very emphatically)

Is it possibe that something like that could be said harmlessly? (Sure)

But it also possible that something like that can be said totally inappropriately, depending on the person’s intentions …

But that brings us to number 9.

Number 9 - Find ways to bring your spouse into conversations frequently (especially if someone just said something inappropriate to you).

In the example brother Glenn Colley gave us:

You know what he said to the lady in the elevator?

He politely said: “Thank you,” and then added, “My wife bought that for me and she loves it too.”

Shut it down! Let the person know that you belong to your spouse!

Finally, and most importantly …

Number 10 - Hide the Word of God in your heart that you might not sin against God (Psalm 119:11), and that you might not sin against your spouse either!

When JESUS was tempted in the wilderness, how did He respond (Matt. 4; Luke 4)

He responded by quoting Deuteronomy 3x - “It … is … WRITTEN.”

And we must do the same!

Again, not an all-inclusive list, but a good start!

CONCLUSION:

In an audience this size, there is quite the possibility that there are some various histories in play regarding this subject.

This sermon is not to make light of any of that, or to bring up past sins, or what have you.

But it is part of the whole counsel of God, and something we need to constantly be on guard about.

We can praise God for His forgiveness for past sins in these areas and in all areas of life.

For our devotional in a few minutes, we are going to turn to 1 Cor. chapter 6 for one more passage to conclude our thoughts.

(Concluding devotional thoughts from 1 Cor. 6:18-20 and then 1 Cor. 6:9-11).