Selective Memory (2)

Deuteronomy 15:15

15 And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in the land of Egypt, and the Lord thy God redeemed thee: therefore I command thee this thing to day.

Deuteronomy 16:12

12 And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in Egypt: and thou shalt observe and do these statutes.

Deuteronomy 24:18

18 But thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in Egypt, and the Lord thy God redeemed thee thence: therefore I command thee to do this thing.

Pray:

I want to speak to you all this morning about the importance of remembering. Not only remembering the things that God has done for us. But also to remember the good in our lives.

The bible tells us to remember Lots wife. God said to the Hebrews here over and over to remember how God had set them free from the bondage of slavery. And just as God set the Hebrews free from the bondage of slavery, He has set us free from the bondage of sin.

I want us to consider this. When God forgave us of our sins, He cast the memory of those sins as far as the east is from the west. Meaning that God chose to forget our failures and shortcomings.

One of the ways that we are made in the image of God is that we are able to like Him, selectively remember the things we want to remember and to forget the things we want to forget.

You see we make a choice in every single relationship we have as a Christian. Please listen to me very closely as this is important.

We are commanded by the word of God to renew our minds to be like Christ:

Romans 12:2 says:

2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Part of what it means to have the mind of Christ is knowing that we must be able to forgive and forget the shortcomings of others. And that means that we must have a selective memory. Let me explain what I mean by giving you some examples.

When a couple has been married for a while. They have made a lot of memories together both good and bad.

She might remember the times he forgot to take out the trash. Or the times that he forgot to mow the yard. Or she might remember the times when he bought her roses for their anniversary. Or the times when he bought her presents for her birthday.

He might remember the times she nagged him about taking out the garbage and mowing the yard. Or he might remember the times when they laughed together or had a fun vacation together.

And this dynamic is in every single relationship we have. As a church member. We can choose to remember every single slight against us whether it is just perceived or real. Or we can selectively remember all of the good times we have had with our brothers and sisters in the house of God. Listen to Philippians 4:8:

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

We cannot have a healthy Christian relationship with one another without understanding this simple truth. And that is we need to have selective memories. What God is telling us over and over in His word is to focus on the positive.

If we choose to make a list in our minds of all the negative things a person has done. We eventually become hostile towards them. You cannot love one another while holding on to a list of his/her shortcomings. And by the way. If all you do is hold onto the mistakes of other people you cannot have a good walk with the Lord Jesus Christ. Why?

Because you are living in sin. Think about it like this. When we make a list of what we believe are the other persons shortcomings we are committing the sin of disobeying God. Because God says to think on the good things. And we have decided to behave in a way that will only cause us to hold grudges.

Years ago I read this book about relationships that encouraged couples to make deposits in the love bank. Telling married couples to keep track of their “love balance” And that sounds good on the surface. But God says don’t make any withdrawals. That a Christian mindset should be one that only makes deposits.

God says:

Focus on the fact that you have been set free from the bondage of sin.

Focus on the good in your husband or your wife.

Focus on the good in your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I’ll read it again.

whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Is there any virtue or good in dwelling on the fact that he forgot to take out the trash? Is there any good or virtue in dwelling on the fact that your dinner was cold or burned when you got home from work?

Is there anything good or virtuous about focusing on how a fellow church member hurt your feelings or let you down?

So, I am going to give you some homework. You that are married. I want you to write down this verse and put it on your refrigerator and put another copy on your bathroom mirror. But before you do that, I want you as a couple to sit down tonight and read this verse together.

Then I want you to make a pledge to one another. That pledge is as follows: I will always do my best to remember the good times we have shared. I will forget the bad because that is how I can have a better relationship with you and with the Lord. Then close with prayer. Do this every single night before bed until you have come to a place where it becomes automatic.

We need to have a selective memory while dealing with one another. That is how God deals with us and how we are commanded to deal with one another.

Know this. Our sins are forgiven. When you hear a voice in your head reminding you of your mistakes that voice isn’t from the Holy Spirit. When you hear a voice in your head that reminds you of the mistakes of others, that voice is not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It is the voice of the accuser.

God never commands us to do anything we are unable to do. God says to rejoice. That means I can decide to be happy. Because God commands me. God says to be content, that means that I can decide to be content. Because God commands me to be content. God says to think on the things that are pure, good, and virtuous. That means we can focus on the pure the good and the virtuous because God never commands us to do something that we are unable to do.

So, when God says remember then tells us what to remember then we can decide what we want to remember. So, I can choose what to remember. By the way God tells us what to forget. That means I can forget.

Philippians 3:13

13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.

Our minds are much like computers. We have everything filed away in our minds. And we pull out whatever file we want. And we as Christians are commanded to renew our minds. We are commanded to forget the bad and to focus on the good. That means we have got to get busy deleting files. Every single time someone has done something to hurt you or make you mad or disappoint you then you have to immediately delete that memory. Don’t sit around focusing on how someone let you down. That can only lead to bitterness. And God cannot use a bitter person. Listen to me ladies and gentlemen. If you are bitter or angry this morning it is because you CHOOSE to be. And you cannot blame anyone but yourself for your unchristlike disposition.

. So, program your mind to only focus on the good. If we fail to do this and start making lists of all the bad. We are living in sin. Let me ask you this. Ever felt like God isn’t hearing your prayers?

Could it be that you have an unrenewed mind? Could it be that you have been so busy making lists of the shortcomings of your husband or your wife or your co-workers or your brothers and sisters in Christ. That you have fallen into a sinful pattern of hate? If we allow the sins of others to become our sins then we are allowing the devil to manipulate and control us.

How can you love one another as Christ commands. When we make these negative lists of people and hold onto our loved ones every mistake?

The secret to loving your husband, your wife, your neighbor, your co-workers and your fellow church members is to have a selective memory. (REPEAT)

Matthew 7: 1-3

7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Do you want people holding onto your every mistake and holding it over your head? That is what you are asking people to do to you when you do it to them. You will be judged by them by the very harsh manner by which you have judged them.

Give people the freedom to be themselves around you by accepting them the way they are instead of trying to make them into who you want them to be.

If you are bitter this morning. You have made the choice to be bitter. You kept recalling all of the things that made you bitter. You kept focusing on the mistakes of others. Until you reached a point that you have become miserable. God says rejoice and again I say rejoice. That’s a command. Your bitterness is the result of YOUR sin. Not someone else's.

Every single person in this room can choose to be bitter if they choose to remember negative things. Every person in this room can be bitter if all they focus on are problems rather than solutions.

Maybe at some point in your life you were abused. If that is the case then you are commanded by God to forget that abuse and that abuser. And if you don’t, guess what is going to happen? You are going to become an abusive person. Forget about those bad things in your past and move forward. You say well Pastor I can’t do that. WRONG. God says for us to forget the bad and to remember the good.

Every single person in this room can choose to be grateful.

The person to your left has had just as much bad as you have. The person sitting to your right has had just as much bad happen to them as you have.

I’m trying to say. You are not the only person who has had a heartache. You are not the only person who has problems. The difference between people is some choose to remember the good while others focus on the bad. And as a result, they are bitter, unhappy and hard to get along with.

Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your blessings, see what God has done! Count your blessings, name them one by one, *Count your many blessings, see what God has done. [*And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.]

I’m trying to tell you the difference between happy Christians and unhappy Christians is simply a matter of choosing to remember the good in people and choosing to see the good in others.

My happiness isn’t controlled by your misery.

My joy isn’t effected by your sorrow.

My love isn’t impacted by your hate.

If someone wants to be miserable, ungrateful and difficult to get along with then we cannot fix them by walking on eggshells for them. Sure there are cases where a little love will heal a broken person.

But there are also cases where people cannot be helped until they make the choice to remember the good. And in those cases we must establish healthy boundaries to keep ourselves from being dragged into sin.

And believe me.a bully will do everything they can to push your buttons. A bully envies your joy. And often a bully wants to punish you for having something they don’t. Happiness. And what they will do is push your buttons until they get you off balance. And at that point they control you. And they will do everything they can to keep you in a vicious cycle of jumping through hoops.

But remember this.

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.”

Madelaine Petsch. Said.

The people who are bullying you, they're insecure about who they are, and that's why they're bullying you. It never has to do with the person they're bullying. They desperately want to be loved and be accepted, and they go out of their way to make people feel unaccepted so that they're not alone.

The old saying misery loves company.

I want us to understand this. When someone chooses to be miserable. You cannot love them enough to change it. They must find a way to love themselves.

You see a bully is telling you that he or she is hurting. But it is a lot like a drowning person. If you try to save them. They will take you under with them.

All you can do is maintain a safe boundary, be a good example and pray for them.

Gods commandment is to love one another. Gods commandment is remembering the good. Gods commandment is to think on these things.

The true the honest the just the pure, the lovely and the virtuous.

See

You can choose to remember that your dad didn’t play ball with you as a boy. Or you can remember that he worked hard every day to put food on the table. You can find every reason you want in the world to be bitter, hateful, spiteful, and difficult. Or you can choose to obey God and think on the good things.

You can be mad because your mother never taught you to cook or to sew. Or you can choose to remember that she risked her life to bring you into this world.

We get to choose what thoughts we entertain.

One problem with many Christians today IS:

All this modern Freudian psychiatry it is hogwash. Well, it’s my mother’s fault people cry. It’s my dad’s fault people whine. Bless God my bible says that every person will give an account of his or her own actions. Stop blaming people for how you are and stop expecting people to meet up to your impossible standards, grow up in Christ and learn to focus on the good in everyone.

You can remember that one time someone hurt you. Or you can remember the good times you had with that friend. You can be bitter because you suffered as a child. OR you can cast your cares upon Jesus and move on with your life and focus on the good.

Men you can remember that your wife has made some mistakes. Or you can remember that she labored and suffered to give you children.

You can remember that your pastor offended you once. And then you got mad and left the church. Or you can remember the years he spent in prayer for you. You can remember the years your pastor spent studying for sermons to help you grow. Or you can focus on the one time he offended you.

In closing:( Quietly)

You know I’m so glad that God choses to see the good in us. Listen to the words in Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Ladies and gentlemen that is our example. Can we say that about each other? Do we commend our love to one another as church members? Knowing that we are all sinners, yet we love one another anyway. And we do it by focusing on the good in each other and forgetting the bad.

Husbands, wives, church members. Can we say that we commend our love to one another and that even though we are all imperfect Christ died for us all and therefore we choose to see the good in each other?

It is extremely important that we get this. Stop making list that focus on the mistakes of others and start making list that focus on the good. Most of us are old enough to remember mom telling us: If you don’t have anything good to say about someone don’t say anything at all.

I was saved in 1987. And not long after that I was blessed to get to go on a missions trip to Monterrey, Mexico. I have shared that with most of you. Brother Joe the guy who built the mission work in Mexico was a very good teacher. And I remember saying to him will you tell my joke to these Hispanic Christians? And he said no way. You are on your own there.

Well you know me. I like being playful and picking on people. And I knew just enough Spanish to tell the joke myself. It goes like this.

There is a French man a British man a Texan and a Mexican on a plane going down....... Remember the Alamo.

The next day we were all working to help the church members who lived out in the country with running water and other necessities. And being a young on fire for God Christian I got mad at some of the volunteers. I remember saying. Don’t you care about the work? These people need us to get this done and you all are just sitting around.

Brother Joe got a hold of me and took me aside. And he said brother Tim. Do you know how hard it is to get volunteers in the missions field? And of course I had no idea. And he said these are not employees. They are here out of the goodness of their hearts. When dealing with volunteers there are only two words you need to remember. Please and thank you.

What he was teaching me is to focus on the good they are doing. And isn’t that what Christ wants from us?

Think about this. If you sold out to serve Jesus Christ. And you gave every single dime you had to feed the poor. And you read the bible several times a day. And you prayed all the time. But you mistreated every single person that tried to love you. What good then have you done? The bible says tho I speak with the tongues of men and Angels and have not charity it profiteth me nothing.

You might say to me Pastor. I just struggle to love people because they just don’t love the Lord the way I do. You are deceiving yourself. You don’t love people because you don’t even like yourself. Stop worrying about what everyone around you is doing wrong and start worrying about what you are doing wrong

As a church begins to grow there are going to be problems. We don’t need to create them. And one of the best ways to avoid creating our own problems is to learn to have a selective memory.

With the help and love of Christ we can all make the choice to see the good in others.

Lord, help me live from day to day In such a self-forgetful way That even when I kneel to pray My prayer shall be for others.

Refrain: Yes, others, Lord, yes, others, Let this my motto be; Help me to live for others, That I may live like Thee, That I may live like Thee.Help me in all the work I do To ever be sincere and true, And know that all I’d do for You Must needs be done for others.Let “Self” be crucified and slain And buried deep: and all in vain May efforts be to rise again, Except to live for others.So when my work on earth is done, And my new work in heav’n’s begun, I’ll praise You for the crown I’ve won, But praise You more for others.

Charles Meigs

I ask you this morning. Have you learned to see the good in others? Or do you keep a list like Santa Claus.

One of the best ways to be a good Christian is to learn to have a selective memory.

If there are any of you here who don’t know Christ as your savior. Do you know that you are a sinner. You have lied or cheated or stolen at some point in your life. And because of that you deserve eternal separation from God and eternal hell. But the good news is Christ died for your sins.

Imagine if you were called to court for the crime of murder. And they sentenced you to the death penalty on the electric chair. Then imagine that Christ walked up to the judge and said I will die in their place.

That is what Christ did for you and me. He died for our sins. And all you must die to know Him as your savior and to have eternal life. Is accept Him as your savior. When We give the alter call I want you to come forward and talk to me about how to know you can live in heaven when you die.

Pray.