Hot Topics week 6 | Marriage By Design

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Marriage By Design

Alright church.
Week 6 of our Hot Topics series.
We are wrapping up this series next week with the most voted on topic, Mental Health.
It’s actually such an important topic, I am looking at a small group centered around mental health.
But this week we are looking at another one of the topics chosen by you, Marriage.
What does the Bible have to say about marriage?
Well, a lot actually, because marriage is God’s idea.
And since marriage is God’s idea we should look to the revealed word of God to discover the beauty and purpose of marriage.
A few week ago we looked at sexuality.
In doing so we discovered that God created marriage and sex and sexuality.
And just like our God created sexuality was designed for purpose and pleasure, marriage is designed for purpose and pleasure.
Genesis 1:26–31 CSB
26 Then God said, “Let us make manF in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” 27 So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female. 28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.” 29 God also said, “Look, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the surface of the entire earth and every tree whose fruit contains seed. This will be food for you, 30 for all the wildlife of the earth, for every bird of the sky, and for every creature that crawls on the earth—everything having the breath of life in it—I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good indeed. Evening came and then morning: the sixth day.
May and female.
Same intrinsic value and worth as representatives of God in the earth.
Same Purpose, Our Creative Mandate - to join in covenant with God and each other, to have children, to fill the earth, to bring order, and to rule.
Same Pleasure , to find joy in our purpose - together in covenant, having children, bringing order, and ruling.
Now, Adam and Eve’s rebellion brought chaos into the covenant instead of taking the covenant into the chaos, and we have been dealing with those ramifications ever since.
But that doesn’t change the design of marriage or the fact that we should find purpose and pleasure in it.
But it did make it harder to find purpose and pleasure in it, because we no longer trust each other as covenant keepers.
Apart from the grace of God and restorative work of Jesus death and resurrection, we would still be bound by the curse that our first parent’s brought on us.
I want to invite you this morning to look freshly at the purpose and pleasure of marriage.
I also want you to know that if you are single, you aren’t less than. You are still, in Christ, in covenant with God to bring order to chaos and to rule.
You can find pleasure in that and you can fulfill your purpose.
There’s just no “multiplying”.
A word about the content this morning.
When I am asked to perform a marriage the very first pre-marriage session I have with the couple covers God’ design in marriage.
Much of the ideas and bones of this sermon comes from a series on marriage from a ministry that is no longer active.
So today, much of the content of the sermon is built on and expanded from the content you’ll get in that first pre-marriage session with me.
So, welcome to pre-marriage counseling.
This isn’t going to be a lot of steps to improve your marriage, that takes more than one sermon.
But it will be a sermon on the purpose and pleasure of marriage.
Why?
Because I believe if we can better understand the why of marriage we will be more willing to do the what of marriage.
And if you’re married, I believe a better understanding of the why of marriage will help you want to do the work of marriage.
Yes, marriage is work.
It’s often hard.
It’s often crucifying.
It should be sanctifying.
And it should be good.
Marriage should be a good, sanctifying work.
What does that mean, sanctifying?
It means perfecting.
It means making holy.
It means making righteous.
It means moving from sin and moving to holiness.
A good marriage is sanctifying.
A good attitude in marriage make us want to be sanctified.
We think about our desires and wants less and about the needs and wants or our spouse more.
We think about ruling less and serving more.
We think about getting my way less and more about getting “our” way.
Marriage is sanctifying.
So, lets jump in.

Marriage in God's Story

In the beginning
The story of God is one of Good News, and it begins with a wedding ceremony.
After God created the heavens and earth and filled it, he made the man and the woman, uniting them in marriage.
God created marriage for his purposes, not ours, as marriage belongs to him.
He determined marriage as a sacred union on which he would build the foundation for establishing families and, ultimately, society and culture.
Marriage is
God defined marriage from the beginning: an intimate, covenant relationship between one man and one woman lasting a lifetime (
Genesis 2:24 , Proverbs 2:16-17, Malachi 2:14).
Genesis 2:23–24 CSB
23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.
Proverbs 2:16–17 CSB
16 It will rescue you from a forbidden woman, from a wayward woman with her flattering talk, 17 who abandons the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God;
Malachi 2:13–17 CSB
13 This is another thing you do. You are covering the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning, because he no longer respects your offerings or receives them gladly from your hands. 14 And you ask, “Why?” Because even though the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, you have acted treacherously against her. She was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. 15 Didn’t God make them one and give them a portion of spirit? What is the one seeking? Godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, so that no one acts treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 “If he hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the Lord of Armies. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously. 17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you ask, “How have we wearied him?” When you say, “Everyone who does what is evil is good in the Lord’s sight, and he is delighted with them, or else where is the God of justice?”
Biblically, Moses first characterized marriage: “This is why (because of marriage – my emphasis) a man shall leave his father and his mother, hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
In the New Testament, both Jesus (Matthew 19:5 , Mark 10:6–7) and Paul (Ephesians 5:32) affirm Moses and agree with God’s definition of marriage:
Matthew 19:5 CSB
and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
Mark 10:6–7 CSB
But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
Ephesians 5:31–32 CSB
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
So what do we learn about God’s design about marriage from the start?

It is exclusive (one man and his wife).

God did not design marriage to be polygamous - he created them as a pair.
Male and female.
In covenant with God and each other.

It is not defined by temporal family ties but by permanent covenantal promises (leave father and mother).

It requires a covenantal commitment and a leaving behind of one societal contract for a new and better covenant.
A picture of the church.
You don’t pick your family, your mom and dad, but you do pick your spouse.
Marriage is a picture of Christ choosing a people for himself.
And let me say this, if you are married if you aren’t choosing you spouse above your parents your marriage is going to suffer.

It is a lifetime commitment (hold fast).

God designed marriage to be a binding covenant.
He even created our bodies to respond chemically to produce a hormone during the covenant act of sex that bonds the two together emotionally.
The marriage vows aren’t just random romance.
They are some poem designed to make us feel are warm and fuzzy when recited in a ceremony.
The marriage vows are intended to reinforce and remind us of God’s designed permanence of marriage.
For better or worse.
For richer or poorer.
In sickness and in health.
As long as you both shall live.
That is covenant.
That is a commitment.
That is a promise.
That is a vow.
And its to be taken seriously and no entered into lightly.

Intimacy (oneness) ensues (they become one flesh).

And that covenant allows for and leads to intimacy.
They become one flesh.
That is a definite reference to sex but it not merely about sex - it’s about the oneness of purpose and pleasure that is found within marriage.
In this oneness there should be an openness.
You aren’t behaving as one flesh if you are still living as if you never entered the covenant.
Let me be practical for a second - one flesh means both should have access to your checking accounts, your social media, your passwords, your friends, you phones.
My wife can look at my phone when ever she wants.
We know what we are doing or where we are going.
We don’t make big decisions with talking it over.
Sex without marital oneness is not true intimacy.
True intimacy is about pleasure and purpose.
I heard this week about a man who doesn’t let his wife read books including theology books that he hasn’t read until he reads them first because he, and I quote, doesn’t want his wife to “outpace”.
Husband, if youre worried about your wife outpacing you, instead of trying to slow her down maybe you just need to run faster.
Intimacy isn’t concerned with being in the lead, it’s concerned with keeping covenant purpose and pleasure.
However, marriage was never meant as an end to itself.
As the story of God begins to unfold, he reveals his greater intention for marriage.

Marriage Is A Covenant Promise

God’s love for his people has always been steadfast and sure, and he holds fast to them in a permanent, exclusive, intimate, covenantal relationship.
Vows and promises are the basis for a covenant.
On a wedding day, the bride and groom make vows to one another, promising to love each other solely for a lifetime, regardless of circumstances.
Throughout Scripture, there are numerous parallels drawn between the covenant promises of God and his chosen people and the covenant promises of a husband and wife in marriage.
Specifically, God calls himself “husband” and his people, “bride” (Isaiah 54:5
Isaiah 54:5 CSB
Indeed, your husband is your Maker— his name is the Lord of Armies— and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of the whole earth.
Isaiah 62:5 CSB
For as a young man marries a young woman, so your sons will marry you; and as a groom rejoices over his bride, so your God will rejoice over you.
Jeremiah 2:2 CSB
“Go and announce directly to Jerusalem that this is what the Lord says: I remember the loyalty of your youth, your love as a bride— how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.
Revelation 19:7 CSB
Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself.
Revelation 21:2 CSB
I also saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband.
Revelation 21:9 CSB
Then one of the seven angels, who had held the seven bowls filled with the seven last plagues, came and spoke with me: “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”
Revelation 22:17 CSB
Both the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” Let anyone who hears, say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come. Let the one who desires take the water of life freely.
Listen, God is better at promises than we are
A problem has existed since Genesis 3 regarding the difference between God’s covenants and ours:
God makes promises and keeps them.
We make promises and break them.
When the people of God sin against him and chase after other gods, their sinful deeds are named ‘spiritual adultery’ and ‘whoredom’—strong language for sin, but an accurate description of the relationally destructive nature of our rebellion against a loving, trustworthy, and Holy God Hosea 1:1 , Jeremiah 3:6–21, 31:32, Ezekiel 23, Psalm 106:39).
Hosea 1:1 CSB
The word of the Lord that came to Hosea son of Beeri during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, and of Jeroboam son of Jehoash, king of Israel.
Jeremiah 3:6–21 CSB
In the days of King Josiah the Lord asked me, “Have you seen what unfaithful Israel has done? She has ascended every high hill and gone under every green tree to prostitute herself there. I thought, ‘After she has done all these things, she will return to me.’ But she didn’t return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. I observed that it was because unfaithful Israel had committed adultery that I had sent her away and had given her a certificate of divorce. Nevertheless, her treacherous sister Judah was not afraid but also went and prostituted herself. Indifferent to her prostitution, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. Yet in spite of all this, her treacherous sister Judah didn’t return to me with all her heart—only in pretense.” This is the Lord’s declaration. The Lord announced to me, “Unfaithful Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. Go, proclaim these words to the north, and say, ‘Return, unfaithful Israel. This is the Lord’s declaration. I will not look on you with anger, for I am unfailing in my love. This is the Lord’s declaration. I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt— you have rebelled against the Lord your God. You have scattered your favors to strangers under every green tree and have not obeyed me. This is the Lord’s declaration. “ ‘Return, you faithless children—this is the Lord’s declaration—for I am your master, and I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion. I will give you shepherds who are loyal to me, and they will shepherd you with knowledge and skill. When you multiply and increase in the land, in those days—this is the Lord’s declaration—no one will say again, “The ark of the Lord’s covenant.” It will never come to mind, and no one will remember or miss it. Another one will not be made. At that time Jerusalem will be called The Lord’s Throne, and all the nations will be gathered to it, to the name of the Lord in Jerusalem. They will cease to follow the stubbornness of their evil hearts. In those days the house of Judah will join with the house of Israel, and they will come together from the land of the north to the land I have given your ancestors to inherit.’ ” I thought, “How I long to make you my sons and give you a desirable land, the most beautiful inheritance of all the nations.” I thought, “You will call me ‘My Father’ and never turn away from me.” However, as a woman may betray her lover, so you have betrayed me, house of Israel. This is the Lord’s declaration. A sound is heard on the barren heights: the children of Israel weeping and begging for mercy, for they have perverted their way; they have forgotten the Lord their God.
Jeremiah 31:32 CSB
This one will not be like the covenant I made with their ancestors on the day I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt—my covenant that they broke even though I am their master”—the Lord’s declaration.
Ezekiel 32 CSB
In the twelfth year, in the twelfth month, on the first day of the month, the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, lament for Pharaoh king of Egypt and say to him, ‘You compare yourself to a lion of the nations, but you are like a monster in the seas. You thrash about in your rivers, churn up the waters with your feet, and muddy the rivers. “ ‘This is what the Lord God says: I will spread my net over you with an assembly of many peoples, and they will haul you up in my net. I will abandon you on the land and throw you onto the open field. I will cause all the birds of the sky to settle on you and let the wild creatures of the entire earth eat their fill of you. I will put your flesh on the mountains and fill the valleys with your carcass. I will drench the land with the flow of your blood, even to the mountains; the ravines will be filled with your gore. “ ‘When I snuff you out, I will cover the heavens and darken their stars. I will cover the sun with a cloud, and the moon will not give its light. I will darken all the shining lights in the heavens over you, and will bring darkness on your land. This is the declaration of the Lord God. “ ‘I will trouble the hearts of many peoples, when I bring about your destruction among the nations, in countries you have not known. I will cause many peoples to be appalled at you, and their kings will shudder with fear because of you when I brandish my sword in front of them. On the day of your downfall each of them will tremble every moment for his life. “ ‘For this is what the Lord God says: The sword of Babylon’s king will come against you! I will make your hordes fall by the swords of warriors, all of them ruthless men from the nations. They will ravage Egypt’s pride, and all its hordes will be destroyed. I will slaughter all its cattle that are beside many waters. No human foot will churn them again, and no cattle hooves will disturb them. Then I will let their waters settle and will make their rivers flow like oil. This is the declaration of the Lord God. When I make the land of Egypt a desolation, so that it is emptied of everything in it, when I strike down all who live there, then they will know that I am the Lord. “ ‘The daughters of the nations will chant that lament. They will chant it over Egypt and all its hordes. This is the declaration of the Lord God.’ ” In the twelfth year, on the fifteenth day of the month, the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, wail over the hordes of Egypt and bring Egypt and the daughters of mighty nations down to the underworld,D to be with those who descend to the Pit: Who do you surpass in loveliness? Go down and be laid to rest with the uncircumcised! They will fall among those slain by the sword. A sword is appointed! They drag her and all her hordes away. Warrior leaders will speak from the middle of Sheol about him and his allies: ‘They have come down; the uncircumcised lie slain by the sword.’ “Assyria is there with her whole assembly; her graves are all around her. All of them are slain, fallen by the sword. Her graves are set in the deepest regions of the Pit, and her assembly is all around her burial place. All of them are slain, fallen by the sword— those who once spread terror in the land of the living. “Elam is there with all her hordes around her grave. All of them are slain, fallen by the sword— those who went down to the underworld uncircumcised, who once spread their terror in the land of the living. They bear their disgrace with those who descend to the Pit. Among the slain they prepare a bed for Elam with all her hordes. Her graves are all around her. All of them are uncircumcised, slain by the sword, although their terror was once spread in the land of the living. They bear their disgrace with those who descend to the Pit. They are placed among the slain. “Meshech and Tubal are there, with all their hordes. Their graves are all around them. All of them are uncircumcised, slain by the sword, although their terror was once spread in the land of the living. They do not lie down with the fallen warriors of the uncircumcised, who went down to Sheol with their weapons of war, whose swords were placed under their heads and their shields rested on their bones, although the terror of these warriors was once in the land of the living. But you will be shattered and will lie down among the uncircumcised, with those slain by the sword. “Edom is there, her kings and all her princes, who, despite their strength, have been placed among those slain by the sword. They lie down with the uncircumcised, with those who descend to the Pit. All the leaders of the north and all the Sidonians are there. They went down in shame with the slain, despite the terror their strength inspired. They lie down uncircumcised with those slain by the sword. They bear their disgrace with those who descend to the Pit. “Pharaoh will see them and be comforted over all his hordes— Pharaoh and his whole army, slain by the sword.” This is the declaration of the Lord God. “For I will spread my terror in the land of the living, so Pharaoh and all his hordes will be laid to rest among the uncircumcised, with those slain by the sword.” This is the declaration of the Lord God.
Psalm 106:39 CSB
They defiled themselves by their actions and prostituted themselves by their deeds.
We don’t sin in a vacuum.
Someone is always, beginning with God, sinned against.
But continually, a passionate, faithful God pursues and intervenes, providing payment for sin that is sufficient and everlasting for rebellious children who repent.
We read this passage earlier but I want to look at here In regards to covenant.
Malachi 2:13–17 CSB
13 This is another thing you do. You are covering the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning, because he no longer respects your offerings or receives them gladly from your hands. 14 And you ask, “Why?” Because even though the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, you have acted treacherously against her. She was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. 15 Didn’t God make them one and give them a portion of spirit? What is the one seeking? Godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, so that no one acts treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 “If he hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the Lord of Armies. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously. 17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you ask, “How have we wearied him?” When you say, “Everyone who does what is evil is good in the Lord’s sight, and he is delighted with them, or else where is the God of justice?”
Christian Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman, and Creator-God.
God puts a portion of His spirit in that marriage.
The Spirit is bound to your marriage.
God is fighting for your marriage.
God is fighting for your marriage hatred than you are.
But we have to be obedient to God’s working in us individually and maritally.
God hate divorce.
But why?
Because God hates the harm done in divorce.
God sees an abandonment of the covenant as an act of injustice toward the innocent party.
And God always defends those treated unjustly.
That’s why God makes allowances for divorce in scripture - because sometimes our hearts are so hard that divorce allows for justice to be brought to the innocent party.
But God still hates divorce.
He hates the sin that cause the divorce.
He hates the mess and brokenness that results from divorce.
And He loves you.
Thats why the Spirit fights for you and for your marriage,

Jesus and Marriage

Ephesians 5:21–32 reveals more of God’s plan for Christian marriage as it is written specifically to Spirit-filled husbands and wives (Ephesians 5:1,18): “This mystery is profound, and I am saying it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).
Ephesians 5:21–32 CSB
21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
The mystery refers to God’s plan of redemption for his church (his bride), collectively all who have received salvation through Christ’s atoning death on the cross.
This powerful image of Christ, and the church in general, also permeates the marriage of one man and one woman, specifically applying itself in the daily details of their life together.
Without Jesus, it is impossible for the husband and wife to muster up enough strength, loving feelings, or good intentions to fulfill their biblical role and calling in marriage.
But because of him, two sinful, completely different individuals can be miraculously transformed into one.

Marriage Roles Defined By The Cross

It is clear the Biblical roles of husband and wife are less about what the couple should do and more about what Jesus has done for them.
Christian wives can look to the cross and see Jesus who freely submitted himself to the will of the Father to die in her place (Ephesians 5:22–24 ). Her submissive response is not to be one of begrudging foot-dragging, competition with her husband, or a fearful power struggle, but joyful and purposeful, just like Christ’s attitude was for her (Hebrews 12:2 ).
Hebrews 12:2 CSB
keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Ephesians 5:22–24 CSB
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

Wives, Submission Is Not

Here’s Peter on submission for wives:
1 Peter 3:1–6 CSB
In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.
Submission is not about women being less that men.
It’s about marriage.
It’s about covenant.
Wives, don’t think that outward beauty is most important.
Cultivate an inner beauty.
Submission is a heart posture not a sign of inferiority.
Submission Does Not Mean:
1. A husband is in ultimate authority.
2. A wife does not have independent thoughts.
3. A wife does not seek to influence her husband.
4. A wife must obey her husband’s command to sin.
5. A wife is less intelligent or competent than her husband.
Submission Does Mean:
1. A husband and wife are equal with complementary roles.
2. Mutual submission means that a marriage is 100/100 not 50/50 or 90/10.
3. A single woman should only marry a man she does not have to lead
4. Christian marriage shows the Trinity and the gospel.
Without Jesus, it is impossible for the husband and wife to muster up enough strength, loving feelings, or good intentions to fulfill their biblical role and calling in marriage.
Likewise, Christian husbands can look to the cross and see Jesus, who in love and humility laid his life aside to die for someone else’s sin.
Jesus then defeated death and rose to live for and lead the church, providing for its needs (Philippians 2:3–8 ).
Philippians 2:3–8 CSB
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross.

Husbands, Submissive Is

In the same way, Christ now calls husbands to die to themselves and live for and lead their wives and children in bringing attention and glory to God, not to rule as controlling tyrants or disappear as absent dads. (Ephesians 5:25–30 ).
Ephesians 5:25–30 CSB
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body.
I always remind men, that while Paul writes that women are to submit, in the same passage men must submit as will.
Mutual submission one to another, and wives submitting to husbands (we’ve already said what that means practically) and husbands submitting to death of the self.
Here’s what Peter tells husbands:
1 Peter 3:7 CSB
Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
It again is a submission.
It’s not lording over your wife, but seeking to understand her and honoring her.
It’s not ruling as a tyrant, but serving as husband.
Yes, Peter says she is weaker, but Peter is talking about biological generalities.
9/10 the man is physically stronger than the woman.
So treat her with honor.
Understand that a wife’s fears (1 Pet. 3:6) are legitimate; men dominate the lives of women and children, for good or for evil. Honor your wife:
Honor her maritally. Take a wife honorably. Establish right priorities, and be a one woman man–absolutely faithful to your wife. Honor her physically. Be strong for your wife, not against her. Be protective of her and present with her. Honor her emotionally. Be emotionally present and intimate. Take her on dates. Honor her verbally. Speak honorably to her. Speak honorably of her, when she is present and absent. Honor her financially. Provide for the financial needs of your family, organize your budget, and be generous towards your wife. Honor her practically. Consider her needs and how you can serve her. Honor her parentally. Be “Pastor Dad” by shepherding your children (praying with them, teaching them about Jesus, reading the Bible with them, etc.) Honor her spiritually. You initiate and lead prayer, Bible, chats, church attendance, etc. Take responsibility for your church.
Did you notice Peter’s warning to husbands?
If you don’t honor your wife, your prayers will be hindered.
God will not answer your prayers if you are willfully dishonoring your wife.
That should be a strong wake up call to us men.
Honor your wife!

God’s Vision For Marriage

Spirit-filled married couples have the opportunity to know and accept each other deeply.
They learn that loving someone else in a mutually submissive way isn’t natural, nor does it come easily.
They get to love because Christ loves them (1 John 4:10–11).
They don’t need to fear intimacy or confessing sin, they can walk in the freedom of faith and repentance.
Since they have been graced and forgiven they can offer grace and forgiveness to each other.
Because God has been kind to them, they can be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32).
As helpful companions who see their spouse as a precious gift from God, together they get to face the blessings, trials, and unexpected surprises of life, saturate their children with Jesus, serve brothers and sisters in the church, and share the gospel with neighbors, extended families and co-workers.
Just as Jesus continues to intentionally pursue and love them, they get to creatively pursue and love each other, building a God-honoring legacy as they grow old together.
God vision for marriage takes us all the way back to the Garden, to finding our Purpose and Pleasure inthe Creation Mandate, to join in covenant with God and each other, to have children, to fill the earth, to bring order, and to rule.
That’s God’s vision for marriage.
Mutual Submission to one another fulfill our purpose and find pleasure in it.

Wedded Bliss

The Bible ends with a wedding ceremony.
In Revelation 19:6–9 ,
Revelation 19:6–9 CSB
Then I heard something like the voice of a vast multitude, like the sound of cascading waters, and like the rumbling of loud thunder, saying, Hallelujah, because our Lord God, the Almighty, reigns! Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself. She was given fine linen to wear, bright and pure. For the fine linen represents the righteous acts of the saints. Then heB said to me, “Write: Blessed are those invited to the marriage feast of the Lamb!” He also said to me, “These words of God are true.”
The story of God culminates in Jesus bringing his Bride, the church, home to live with him permanently.
Those who have trusted in Christ for salvation throughout history, whether anticipating his coming or looking back to when he came, will live with him forever.
The marriage supper of the Lamb proves that the covenant-keeping God honors his promises.
That is your hope, and will always be the hope of the Bride of Christ.
And the marriage supper of the Lamb is hope for you that in Christ and by the Spirit you can keep your marriage covenant and that you will find purpose and pleasure in you spouse.
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