Keeping our Joy (2)

Phillipians 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Pray:

The theme of the book of Philippians is how to not loose Joy. Scripture tells us that the joy of the Lord is our Strength. So, it is very important that we do not lose it. Philippians is a letter to the church on how to keep our joy. So, it is very important that we study and understand this book.

There are 4 chapters. 104 versus and 2002 words in the book of Philippians it was written in 62 AD and the word rejoice is the most repeated word in this book and it is found 11 times in these 4 short chapters.

It is important to remember that Paul was writing this letter from prison. And was enduring the most severe imprisonment of his life.

And yet the theme throughout the book is to rejoice and to not lose your joy.

Ts summarize Philippians the first point Paul makes is that we are to keep our joy in spite of circumstances in chapter two Paul tells us that we are to keep our joy despite people. In chapter three Paul tells us to keep our joy in spite of things. In chapter four Paul says to keep our joy in spite of worry. So if you go back and read this book and I recommend this to EVERY child of God. Keep these things in mind.

It is important to remember as Christians that the devil cannot steal your soul. But he can rob you of your joy. And it is his goal to do just that. The worst Satan can do is to threaten you with heaven. He has NO power over our soul.

I believe that when a church starts to see other Christians transfer their memberships from other churches it is a sign of a healthy church. And without a doubt a church that laughs together, sings together, and enjoys their time together is also a sign of a healthy church.

One of the things we often hear about church is that it is full of hypocrites. You don’t have to spend very much time witnessing to people before you begin to hear the complaints and horror stories that people have had happen to them while attending church.

What those people and many others fail to understand is that our churches are full of broken people. After all church is the very place where the broken come to find peace from a fallen world of problems and sorrow. It is the job of the church to minister to those who are the most broken among us.

That means that our churches will often attract people who are lacking joy. Our churches will attract those people who have been hurt over and over by some minister or church member who, like them is also broken.

And so here we are as a church. Happy, singing together, joking around, and enjoying our fellowship and even growing. And along comes someone who is angry and in need of love. They are angry because they have been hurt. And even though they are attracted to the sounds of your joy they are also angered by it. Because they envy the joy that they feel they do not deserve or cannot have.

And suddenly we are frustrated, angry and upset. We go from happy to upset on the whims and unhappiness of a single person. So how do we as a church face this challenge and maintain our joy?

Ephesians 4:26

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

Many Christians falsely believe that it is a sin to be angry. But that isn’t true. When anger is there for righteous reasons then it is not a sin.

If as a father, you were to be angry at someone who is inappropriate towards your child. That is not bad it is healthy anger. When Jesus chased the money changers from the Temple it was not a sin. It was righteous indignation, and it was the proper response to the Pharisees actions.

But there is a point where anger becomes a sin. And that point is when your anger begins to rob you of your joy.

Proverbs 25:28

He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

When we have allowed our anger to take control over our mood and to rob us of our joy we have given away our strength to the devil and we have no defense against his attacks.

Proverbs 12:16

16 A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.

When we react to the unkind, difficult and demanding nature of a hurting person in anger and seek revenge then we lower ourselves to their level. What this verse is telling us is to be patient with those who are hurting and are trying to drag us down to their level.

Something I remember hearing years ago was that when someone has made you angry. You should count to ten. Then slowly let their head out of the water. No seriously, count to ten or even 100. Don’t react while in an emotional state. Choose when and how you react or don’t react at all. The best thing we can do when someone is out to steal your joy is to pray for them.

Proverbs 19:11

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

The more you love people the easier it is to forgive them. It wasn’t long ago that I stood here in this pulpit and said, anyone can love someone who is loveable. But loving someone who is difficult requires graciousness and patient on our part. And boy do I regret those words. Folks we will often be tested by the very truths that God shows us. Oh and don’t forget this, loving a wolf does no good. I used to think that I needed to keep a list of peoples actions to determine whether or not I’m dealing with a wolf. And I was convicted for that. And here’s what the Lord taught me. Sheep don’t growl.

Years ago a friend of mine noticed something about me. That friend said to me. People just stand there and insult you. And you act like you don’t even hear them. What’s wrong with you? My friend asked. I didn’t know it then, but I understand it more now. But without knowing it I was handling it properly. You see when people insult you and demean you and treat you like you are stupid. What they are really doing is screaming at the top of their lungs.

I AM HURTING…..

And by refusing to give them our joy we are in a much better place to help them than we would be if we allowed them to bring us down to their level. So, the key is to realize that the person who is abusive and impossible is trying with everything in them to put up a front. The front they are putting up is:

You can’t hurt me. I am smarter than you. You can’t hurt me. I am better than you. You can’t hurt me I am meaner than you.

The worst thing you can do is give them your joy:

Paul was saying to us:

I can be in prison and I’m happy.

I can be in jail and I’m happy.

I can be beaten and I’m happy.

I can be forsaken and I’m happy.

I can be alone and I’m happy.

I can be hated and I’m happy.

I can be broke and I’m happy.

I can be hungry and I’m happy.

I can be at Westside VBS and be happy.

Why? Because my happiness doesn’t come from how the world treats me. My happiness doesn’t come from how my fellow Christians treat me. My happiness comes from knowing the Lord Jesus Christ. It is something that I have on the inside and you cannot take it away from me try as you might.

“I would not change my blest estate

For all the world calls good or great,

And whilst my faith can keep her hold

I envy not the sinner’s gold.”

We can choose to not be offended.

Don’t demand an apology and don’t expect an apology. Forgive them and move forward with your walk with Christ.

Sometimes people are unaware of their behavior. We must keep that in mind.

Colossians 3:13

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

We must be careful to not gossip about those who try to steal our joy. I know I have been guilty of seeking Godly counsel from others and fallen into this trap. It is not a healthy way to handle difficult people. I like you must learn how to handle those who are hurting and be able to seek Godly counsel in a healthy way. It is something I have spent a lot of time praying about lately. I have said this before, and it will always hold true. Being an imperfect man and preaching and teaching a perfect word can be daunting. It is a tremendous challenge. But never forget that God is doing a work in me just as He is in you.

Gossip is a form of retaliation. And it is something we need to work on. When we start gossiping about someone who is causing us problems, we are letting them control our conversation.

And our conversation should only be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

We need to learn to ask ourselves why is this person in so much pain?

Refuse to be offended. Don’t take things personally.

When people are rude, they are showing you who they are not who you are.

There are plenty of things worth being offended over. I am offended by a government that hates God.

I am offended by a movement in this country to sexualize and groom children towards homosexuality.

Remember. Our spirituality is better demonstrated by how we respond to those who mistreat us than by how we respond to those who love us.

We need a kind heart and thicker skin to grow as a church.

1 Peter 3:9

9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Repay an insult with a blessing. Choose not to gossip. We miss out on Gods blessings when we gossip.

Refuse to be offended

Consider the source

Don’t wait for an apology give forgivness anyway.

AND…

After doing all this: Refuse to play their game.

People who behave in a way that is unreasonable cannot be reasoned out of their behavior.

Jesus showed us how to deal with this behavior.

Matthew 22:18

18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites?

The Pharisees were always trying to trick Jesus with their mind games. Always probing, looking for a weakness. Looking for that a ha I got you moment.

But Jesus simply refused to play along.

Pilate tried to tempt Jesus, but the bible tells us that Christ refused to open His mouth.

So another way to handle those who would steal our joy is to remember that.

Sometimes there is wisdom in silence.

Listen to what Paul said about those who would use deception to steal our joy.

2 Corinthians 4:2

2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

Paul is saying. Don’t play their game.People who cannot get approval will often seek attention. Like a kid, they will even use conflict to get your attention.

Thomas Paine said:

“To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead.

Proverbs 26:21

As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

It takes two to argue. Some people find their value in getting you upset. Don’t get drawn into it.

Remember it takes two to argue. If one of the people walk away the fire dies.

Proverbs 22:10

Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease.

Titus 3:10

A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject;

Refuse to cave in. Do not give in to their demands.

Love isn’t allowing others to manipulate you. You cannot continue to submit to someone who wants to turn you into a doormat.

Forgiveness is instant, trust is earned.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean to continue to allow them to hurt you.

If you are a woman and your husband beats, you. When he comes back to the house and asks you to forgive him. You absolutely should. But when he asks you if he can come back home the answer should be no.

I forgive you but you must earn my trust again. That is a healthy response. Having a victim mentality will only encourage more abuse.

As Christians it is very important to not allow the shortcomings of others to manipulate us.

I shared this with brother Virgil and Sister Cathie not long ago. But years ago, I read a book called the 7 Habits of Highly Successful people. And one of the lessons in that book is that we are not like Pavlov’s dog.

If you remember Pavlov’s dog was trained to salivate every single time, he rang a bell.

If we aren’t careful, we will allow others to train us to jump through hoops for them. When we say you make me angry. What we are really saying is I am giving you control over me.

And only God should have power over us.

People who feel the need to control everyone and everything around them are miserable. They are hurt and broken. There is no way to control everyone and everything.

Different people react in different ways to anger.

Some people react to anger like a time bomb. How many of you remember Bobby Knight the coach of Indiana? The guy threw a chair at a referee and choked one of his players. The guy had a lit fuse. His inability to control his temper destroyed his career.

What we can learn from this is:

So, don’t let people push your buttons. Ignore their attempts to make you angry, pray about it and react appropriately or don’t react at all.

Other people hold their anger in and will give themselves stomach ulcers or eventually be the guy walking through the mall with a gun shooting people. It is not healthy to hold in our anger. When we deal with those who are making us angry, we need to say to them. I have boundaries and you need to respect them. IF you cannot treat me with respect then it is best that we limit our conversations.

Others respond to their anger by allowing themselves to be Martyrs. They see the attacks on them made by angry people as something they deserve. Ever seen a woman who continues to go back to a man who is abusive to her? She has decided to be a martyr. She thrives on the pity of other people. And deep down really hates herself. People who deal with anger in this way often become depressed.

Listen carefully. As a child of God, we need to understand that God loves us, and we are important to Him. And we must learn to not let other people’s anger impact our joy. Remember the words in our text:

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

By the way that verse doesn’t mean. If I want to be an NBA basketball player, then I can do it because Christ gives me strength. This verse is often taken out of context. What it means is we can endure anything with the help of Christ. But again the key to this is maintaining our joy in the face of those who would destroy us.

When we get angry we often make mistakes. We can cause arguments and we can do foolish things.

When we lose our tempers we often lose respect, love our health and even our jobs. So don’t lose your temper. Don’t give the devil control over you.

Anger produces anger. Anger can destroy a relationship faster than anything else.

The old saying don’t get mad get even. Is bad advice.

Instead don’t get mad. Ask yourself if that person is in pain. Ask yourself why they are being so abusive towards you. Is that a survival mechanism for them? Remember that hurt people will hurt people.

Often people who are unkind have never felt kindness.

Rude bitter and arrogant attacking people are telling you that they need . They are screaming I need love. They just don’t know how to ask.

People who are secure and loved and generous are usually kind to others.

We may think that that person doesn’t deserve your love. But everyone deserves Gods love and therefore our love. We are commanded to LOVE one another.

I can tell you that.

God has blessed me with some very good counselors. And some of the best advice they have given me is this:

Chill out Pastor. Be cool, Pastor. Yes even your Pastor needs a timeout to reflect when someone is pushing his buttons.

Don’t return abuse with abuse. Don’t return hate with hate. Don’t feed the cycle. Take a step back, take some time away from it. And choose to respond with LOVE.

Folks LOVE conquers ALL.

Love lifted me. Love lifted me. When nothing else could help. Love lifted me. Love lifted me. Love lifted me. When nothing else could help. LOVE LIFTED ME.

Souls in danger look above. Jesus completely saves. He will lift you by His love out of the angry waves. He’s the master of the sea, billows his will obey. He your savior wants to be, be saved today.

Love lifted me. Love lifted me. When nothing else could help, love lifted me. Love Lifted me. Love lifted me. When nothing else could help. LOVE LIFTED ME.

You know the very thing that brought you to Jesus. Is the very thing that we need to demonstrate in the face of an angry and hurt individual. And it is easy to say but not always so easy to do.

But lets be doers of the word.

1 Corinthians 13 reminds us:

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

You can be the most gifted speaker in the world. But if you don’t love the people you are talking too. It won’t matter.

You could be such a talented Sunday school teacher that can quote most of the bible by heart. But if you do not love those who you wish to teach it will do you no good.

You can be the most talented organizer that God has ever made. If you aren’t capable of loving people and dealing with them in a loving manner. Your talent will be of no use to God.

Folks we are here to demonstrate the love of God to a lost and dying world. And you better believe that the devil will get in here and try to throw us off. The tempter that old sneaky snake can use any one of us to hurt Gods work. Do NOT for a second think to yourself that the devil can’t use you to hurt people. Pride goeth before a fall.

Trust in Jesus. And in everything that you do in service for the King. Do it out of LOVE.

“Jesus, the name that charms our fears,That bids our sorrows cease,’Tis music in the sinner’s ears:’Tis life, ’tis health, ’tis peace.”

We should never look up to a preacher or a Sunday school teacher or any man. We can be thankful that someone is allowing God to use them. But never forget. We should always keep our eyes on Christ. Men will let us down. And while looking to Christ remember this. The joy of the Lord is your strength. And don’t let any one person, any one material possession, any circumstance or any worry that you might have take away your joy.

You might recall that last week I talked about how remembering the good in others and forgetting the bad is the key to having good relationships. Plz don’t forget that. And add to that the knowledge that we are in a battle against evil. Do NOT ever give up the source of your strength. YOUR JOY.

Pray.