Don’t Judge a Profile by its Social Media Feed

Proclamation Prayer

O Holy God, give us faith to receive your word, understanding to know what it means, and the will to put it into practice; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Introduction

Last fall I took a risk, I was anxious to plant a shrub in a garden bed that I had been neglecting for the past eight years. This was the year I said! I took the risk hoping the roots would have enough time to establish before winter hit. At the beginning of this spring, I got a text from Dennis with a picture of the shrub and a message; “do you think this is a weed, or the shrub spouting life?” We weren’t quite sure whether to pull it or leave it.

Our gospel reading today is from Matthew 13: 24-30, the parable of the weeds or tares. Now it’s important to know that the type of weeds they are talking about are not the weeds you and I might be thinking of in our own garden beds. These weeds were tares which Wesleyan biblical commentators describe as a “bearded ‘darnel’ that look almost exactly like wheat and cannot be distinguished until they ripen.”

Parables can be challenging at times, because when folks read parables, they walk away with something different based on their own lived experiences. You see, parables extend an invitation for us to examine our hearts, our values, our conventional thinking, and how we behave.

I’d like to ask you a question… What is one of the most complex things we’ll have to do in our lifetime? It’s to change. Researchers have conducted experiments that prove people prefer to make decisions that maintain the status quo versus decisions that might change the current state of affairs. How many of us have gone to a restaurant and looked at the menu full of so many choices we’d like to explore, only to pick the same thing over and over. We’re comfortable with what we know. Yet parables challenge us to evaluate our thinking and open ourselves to changing the status quo.

In a Sunday School offering here at Emmanuel, we examined Short Stories by Jesus written by Dr. Amy Jill-Levine who said, “stories must speak to us across the centuries and continue to live; otherwise, they stop being scripture.”

When I read this parable and reflect on how it impacts us today, I am reminded of first impressions, how we connect with those around us on social media, and procrastination.

Judgement

How many of you watched America’s Got Talent, when it was a popular talent show on television? I am reminded of a contestant from the United Kingdom, named Susan Boyle who came to audition. When she stepped onto the stage, she declared boldly that she wanted to be a pop star. Much of the audience laughed, because you may have judged her to be middle-aged, average looking woman from a rural town. Not the look of your typical groundbreaking pop star. However, when she began to sing “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Misérables the crowd fell silent in disbelief. Ms. Boyle went on to be a record producing star.

Traveling with Dennis can be difficult. Yes, he is that tourist in the group who goes ahead of the guide and is scoping the best perspective, constantly taking photos, and interrupting you from listening to the guide for a selfie. He is always posting his photos and experiences on Facebook. I remember, a few years ago I asked him why do you always post on Facebook? After a few days it looks like you’re bragging not to mention, you’re letting the world know our home is unattended. Dennis responded to me, “I am not doing it for people, I am doing it for me to record my memories with you. I am also doing it to share the experience with my parents.” You see, Dennis’ grandmother suffered from dementia, and several years ago he took one of those genetic tests and discovered he has two markers for dementia. Facebook has a unique way of recording important moments and photos in your life and sharing them with you in the future. Dennis also has parents who live in the Philippines, so coming home for a private photo show or dinner is out the question. Perhaps, had I not been so quick to judge I would have held space for compassion and empathy?

During our most recent vacation, a young man on our tour had made a judgmental remark. His aunt saw Dennis taking photos and asked her nephew to take a selfie with her in front of the Vatican. His response was “no, that’s dumb, I don’t want to be like that guy taking a lot of photos.” People record their memories differently than others. Ancient cultures preserved memories orally, my grandparents kept scrapbooks, my parents keep journals, my generation keeps a Facebook feed, Millennials tend to capture photos on Instagram, and today’s generation captures short videos on Tik-Tok. Perhaps, had this young man known the reason Dennis is capturing these moments, he wouldn’t be so quick to judge his social media feed?

This past week, I was packing up from work to head home and smelled something a bit funky. I realized it was me, I had forgotten to put on deodorant. Lucky for me, I always keep a stick in my desk. However, it reminded me of a conversation I had with an employee of mine several years ago. We were in supervision, and she was railing against one of her colleagues for not being responsive to her requests. She went down the path of saying her peer was lazy, messy, and unprofessional. She mentioned she has arm deodorant on her desk and even caught her applying it one time when she walked by her office. I asked her to stop for a moment and to think about her peer. Perhaps, there is a medical problem where she needs to reapply arm deodorant throughout the day. Perhaps there is a lot of stress going on in their life and they need some support and grace. You see, when we move quickly to judgement, we close ourselves off from being compassionate and holding empathy for people.

I want to invite you to reflect on a few verses from the psalm’s lectionary reading this week. Psalms 139: 1-6 “Lord, you have examined me. You know me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up. Even from far away, you comprehend my plans. You study my traveling and resting. You are thoroughly familiar with all my ways. There isn’t a word on my tongue, Lord, that you don’t already know completely. You surround me—front and back. You put your hand on me. That kind of knowledge is too much for me; it’s so high above me that I can’t reach it.”

That kind of knowledge is too much for me. So important is this parable, that Jesus explains it to us in the second portion of our gospel reading, Matthew 13: 36-43. Jesus knows that we can’t possibly discern what is in the hearts of people. Who are we to judge people? Judas was the trusted apostle and the treasurer of the group, yet he betrayed Jesus. We’ve heard stories of trusted lawyers, accountants, clergy who are thought to have a high degree of ethics to only take advantage of those they serve. Americans across this country participate in consumerism on television, radio, and yes social media that tells our youth they need to look and act a certain way to fit into society, which often leads to depression and trauma. We have children who are entrusted to their parents for shelter, food, safety, and love, to only find themselves being rejected and kicked out for being gay or lesbian because their parents can’t tolerate them.

Yet this parable tells us to tolerate. “Let both grow side by side until the harvest.” You know, primary debates kick-off next month. The next round of elections is coming, and our social media feeds will be inundated with convictions. It can be a difficult time for many people as they learn things about their friends, they wished they didn’t know before. It’s a great time to be on vacation from social media. Yet, this parable, is telling us to tolerate. “Let both grow side by side until the harvest.”

It’s no wonder that the farmer instructs his workers not to pull the bad from the good. People cannot discern who is right and who is wrong. People are too quick to press that “ignore” or “silence” button on their feeds. We’re too quick to scroll past the things we don’t agree with. People can’t seem to sit in the same room with people who think differently than them and listen. They’re too busy thinking of their next counter argument. This parable clearly tells us that it’s not our task to separate saints from sinners; that task is left to The Human One, who will send his harvesters when the time has come. Jesus says that it’s not the people’s task to judge who is in and who is out of the kingdom. That isn’t our task!

Nurturing

Then, what is our task in this parable? Jesus tells us “if you gather the weeds, you’ll pull up the wheat along with them.” Wheat and tares have a root system that is interwoven, and so if you pull up a tare too early, you risk pulling up the wheat. So Jesus, tells us to let them live side by side. He calls us to love one another where there is no polarization. There is no church or state; there is no protestant or catholic; there is no liberal or conservative; there is no rich or poor; there is no black or white; there is no gay or straight; there is no Dallas Cowboys or Buffalo Bills; but what we do have is a complex community that is diverse, interwoven, messy and yet beautiful; a community where we nurture one another.

“Will you nurture one another in the Christian faith and life and include them now before you in your care?” Does this sound familiar? It’s the second question asked of us when baptizing someone into our congregation. What about the mission statement, Emmanuel adopted a couple of years ago… “Our purpose is to seek to serve God in Christ first, by accepting and nourishing all God’s children in our congregation, community, and world.”

Not only is it not our task to judge others, but it’s counterproductive and distracting. Just imagine for a moment, that we put all our energy into following Jesus’ commandment in John 13:34 “I give you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, so you also must love each other.” Just imagine, all youth have a place to go to sleep, eat, do their homework, and grow in their discipleship. Just imagine, boys and girls who have a healthy image of their body and feel comfortable in their own skin. Just imagine the type of community we could become by checking our judgement at the login screen of our social media or even the doors of the church and instead focus on nurturing our brothers and sisters.

How do we go about nurturing our brothers and sisters without judgement? How might we check our judgement at the door, or the login screen of our social media?

Love is patient: slow down your tendency to scroll past the things you disagree with. Love is kind: enter into the dialogue knowing they have the best intentions. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud: be generous with your attention and put your ego on the shelf long enough to absorb what other folks are saying. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs: don’t write folks off, you may not be in a place to affirm, but be in a place of tolerance. Be vulnerable to keeping the dialogue open for mutual transformation.

Procrastination

Recently, one of our confirmation students asked me “what does this church mean to you?” My response was, to me this church is a safe place for me to grow spiritually in a place that is welcoming and non-judgmental. I have developed meaningful friendships who can help keep me accountable and support me through difficult situations. It’s a place where I can wrestle with challenging questions in a safe space during Sunday and Wednesday classes. It’s a place where I can provide witness of my faith through the various outreach ministries. Which leads me to my next question...

How many of us have said,

I’ll get more involved when I finish this project at work.

How about those empty nesters, I’ll attend more things when my kids are off to college.

I’ll volunteer more when I retire.

It’s easy for us to procrastinate our discipleship, isn’t it? We don’t know when, but we do know that there will be a day of judgement and when we are called to account. Jesus tells us this when he explains the parable. Why doesn’t God send his harvesters to separate the good from the bad right now? Perhaps we are wheat, but perhaps we are weed? God is working through each one of us. For us to be transformed, we must Take Time to Be Holy as we sang in our opening hymn. Take time to be holy, speak oft with thy Lord; abide in him always, and feed on his word. Make friends of God’s children (all God’s children), help those who are weak, forgetting in nothing his blessing to seek.

Call to Action

Church, this parable speaks to us today. We live in a world of polarity: you’re either wheat or weed and it’s too difficult to tell who’s right and who is wrong. We live in a world that is digital, fast paced, and we’re constantly on the go. Yet we are all interconnected just as the root systems of wheat and tares are intertwined. We have made a commitment to nurture one another in the baptism vows of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and we have made a commitment to our local and global communities to nurture all God’s children. Your leadership has developed a variety of opportunities for you to deepen your discipleship and nurture those around you. These opportunities provide a range of activities to meet you at any stage and pace of life. Take advantage! Let’s not occupy our time with judging who is in and who is out of the kingdom, instead let our lives be completely consumed with loving one another. Amen.