Family First

Today’s message is definitely for the fam. Last week we learned and heard that we are made alive in Christ. He has paid our spiritual debts, got us out of moral bankruptcy, protected us from vain deceits and broken philosophies, and staked His preeminent claim over everything. Aw man, I almost forgot that other thing that was a problem. That whole us being dead problem where our busted Dollar Store nature, theologically known as our flesh, had us enslaved to sin unto death, and the power of His Father raised us spiritually from the dead, and we are now alive - thank God for His Christ and His grace! So now, we’ve been brought into this awesome and diverse family. But now that we’re living, the next thing we need to know is how are we living? How do we operate with the life that Jesus has given us outside of these walls and inside our walls at our homes? I’ve always thought and believed that our impact on the hearts and minds of the lost on the highways, byways, and marketplace of life starts at home with the family. As the Church, we are to spread the Gospel - the Good News - and reach out to the masses, but purposeful outreach begins with even tighter in-reach. As you all know, we’re not going to be doing an exhaustive dive into Colossians, but this chapter, in particular, has a lot of gems to challenge our mindsets, our perspectives toward those who don’t look like us, and how we treat our loved ones at home and the workplace. If I had to break this chapter into parts, it would be in thirds, so I covered a lot of ground with limited time. So if something might be missed, please review this chapter in your free time. So the text will cover a piece of all three of these parts. So let’s get into this text and see what this letter says to our Colossian brothers, sisters, and ourselves. Turn, swipe, or scroll your Bible to Colossians 3 starting at the first verse:

1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

English Standard Version (Col 3:1–2, 11, 17). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

As said earlier, this chapter has been split into three parts to attempt to cover all of this text better. So here’s a breakdown of what we’re looking at here:

Home Is Where the Heart Is - Colossians 3:1-10

Family Is Deeper Than Skin - Colossians 3:11-16

Family Matters - Colossians 3:17 - 4:1

First, let’s look at the opening verse of the chapter. “If then you have been raised with Christ...” In Chapter 2, we discussed being dead and made alive. So this verse and the next few after it tells us what living Christians are thinking about. This verse serves as a reminder of why we’ve been brought to life. We know that we’ve been raised, but it’s not enough that we were just raised out of a shallow grave, but rather being seated in the heavenly places with Christ (Eph.2:6) where He sits at the right hand of God. I love how John Chrysostom illustrates this in his Homilies on Colossians 3 as follows: He brings them together, having established that He died. Therefore he saith, “If then ye were raised together with Christ, seek the things that are above.” No observances are there. “Where Christ is seated on the right hand of God.” Wonderful! Whither hath he led our minds aloft! How hath he filled them with mighty aspiration! It was not enough to say, “the things that are above,” nor yet, “where Christ is,” but what? “seated on the right hand of God.” From that point, he was preparing them henceforward to see the earth.”

John Chrysostom. (1889). Homilies of St. John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople, on the Epistle of St. Paul the Apostle to the Colossians. In P. Schaff (Ed.), & J. Ashworth & J. A. Broadus (Trans.), Saint Chrysostom: Homilies on Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Thessalonians, Timothy, Titus, and Philemon (Vol. 13, p. 289). Christian Literature Company.

So not only are we bound to our earthly graves, but we are being raised to heavenly places and citizenship (Phil.3:19-20), which calls for heavenly thinking and behavior. (1 Pet. 3:14-16) This also means our mindset must be renewed to put on a new self. Romans 12:2 exhorts us “...not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind...”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Ro 12:2). (2016). Crossway Bibles

Mindset means “the established set of attitudes held by someone.” If we are indeed dead to this world, then our earthly attitudes toward Christ, how we view one another, and life itself must also be put to death. It’s these mindsets which keep us conformed to this world. Despite moving to our “heavenly digs,” we all got some fleshly luggage to deal with at the check-in station. 2 Corinthians 10:3-7 puts it in this light: “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience when your obedience is complete. Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ’s, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we.”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (2 Co 10:3–7). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

There’s that reminder again. Yes, we must remember who we are and to whom we belong. And from there, we must know that it will be a fight from the day-to-day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute. From the day we are raised with Him to the day we see Him face to face, this is the warfare we are continually up against, and knowing this is half the battle. So what in the world are we up against here? What are we not to be conformed to? Let’s read on:

Colossians 3:5–10 (ESV)

5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Col 3:5–10). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

Need I say more? But it’s no coincidence how these “earthly members” are spelled out. Verse five says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you...” Part of living this life above is to put to death what lives within, and none are exempt. Again, McArthur’s Commentary gives a scope of this by saying, “We have died to sin’s penalty, but sin’s power still can be strong, and our flesh is weak. That is why we must continually put sin to death by yielding to the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:13). The principle of Zechariah 4:6 applies in victory over Satan. It is “not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit.” And the Spirit’s weapon is the Word (Eph. 6:17). As the believer is strong in the Word, he “overcome[s] the evil one” (1 John 2:14). Being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18) is the same as allowing the Word to dwell richly in you (Col. 3:16). So it is true that the believer has died in the sense of paying sin’s penalty by being united with Christ in His death. But it is equally true that sin still attacks his unredeemed humanness (cf. Rom. 8:23) and must, as a deadly enemy, be killed by the power of the Spirit through the Word."

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 135-136). Moody Press.

So when it comes to gaining victory over sin and the flesh, sound teaching in God’s Word is paramount. Because of this flesh, we are often taught here at this ministry to hear the Gospel daily! To expect victory over sin and the flesh apart from spending time in God’s Word is expecting to outrun a Bugatti on foot - it ain’t happening! The next level of shedding away leads to internal stuff we tend to keep in our chests more often than not. Here’s what Colossians 3:8-9 have to say:

Colossians 3:8–9 (ESV)

8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Col 3:8–9). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

These verses say it’s not enough to deal with the acts of sin and the surface stuff, but are we demolishing the hidden sins of the heart? What’s our hearts saying when we get skipped over for that promotion, and they give it to “that GUY?!” What about the whispers and gossip we say of others when they’re not in our presence? I heard someone say, “When he’s around, I don’t say nothing, but when he leave, I’ll be talking again!” All of these things, anger, wrath, malice, slander, gossip, the lying, are all things that start from our hearts and find their way to our mouths - and in some cases, our thumbs. Look at what Jesus had to say, which prompted Paul to write this: “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Mt 15:18–20). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

This is why we need a new heart and why in Christ, we are a new creation where old things must pass away, and everything must become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17) But the most reassuring in all this is the apostle stating, “In these, you too once walked...” One of the lasting effects of God’s grace and faithfulness towards us is that sin is left in the past. The word walked points to the past tense, meaning we used to live there but don’t anymore. Before my wife and I purchased our home, we lived in the thick of it on Westside in Wilmington, and it wasn’t the hottest spot to be at. It wasn’t terrible, but it’s not where we are now. It took a little while for us to get used to our new neighborhood and neighbors, but the transition was great. We’ve been living here for a little over four years, so wouldn’t it seem strange if I found myself returning to my “old” home where I used to live to think of the old days? It would give off some strange vibes if I just happened to be hanging around in front of my old home, with different owners, when I have a brand new home meant for me to live in. So that seems odd, then we should find it just as strange to stay in the sins of our past. There’s no greater tragedy than the guilt and shame of sin which has already been forgiven, paid for, and is not remembered by God anymore to hold us captive because we haven’t let it go. “The righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Home is where the heart is.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Ro 3:22–24). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

The next thing to look at is when becoming a new creation and being renewed in knowledge according to the image of Christ; we are now a part of a new family. And there is no more beautiful picture than God’s family. Look at Colossians 3:11

Colossians 3:11 (ESV)

11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Col 3:11). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

This is as colorful a crew of characters as you’re going to get; it doesn’t get any more diverse than this. The Greek and the Jew, one circumcised and the other uncircumcised, were separated by seemingly insurmountable racial and religious barriers. They had not wanted anything to do with each other. One of the chief motivations for the office of the deacon was directly due to these issues between the Jews and Gentiles. (Acts 6:1-6) But it's the Gospel as shared in Ephesians 2:13-16 which broke down those barriers. Cultural barriers were an issue in the days of the Colossians as well; aside from the Jews and Greeks not being on the same page, they both had issues with the barbarians and Scythians. The Jews and Greeks were very articulate, but barbarians had problems with their speech and couldn’t articulate well so there was a language and education barrier there. As for Scythians, they were nomadic mercs of the most brutal kind. No other way to describe them. Above all barbarians, they were the most hated and feared. These folk were know for their savagery. Even the renown Jewish historian Josephus added, “The Scythians delight in murdering people and are little better than wild beasts”. The early church Father Tertullian could think of no greater insult to the heretic Marcion than to describe him as “more filthy than any Scythian”

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 152). Moody Press.

Another social barrier that existed was between the slave and the freemen. In the words of Aristotle, the slave was viewed as a “living tool.” However, slaves and freemen became brothers in Christ because they “were baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves for free.” (1 Corinthians 12:13) Paul wrote an entire letter to Philemon to view Onesimus, his runaway slave, “no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother.” (Philemon 1:16)

So let's fast-forward to now, and I’m going to change a few names around, and let’s see if we all can follow. Ready? Liberals, conservatives, patriots, politicians, one-percenters, immigrants, citizens, the wealthy, the transient, black, white, Latino, Latina, Asian, convict, ex-convict, employed, homeless. Are we getting the picture? As we can see, they (the Colossians) are us, and we are them. Who can get a fellowship of Greeks, Jews, barbarians, and Scythians? Absolutely no one! But only one is from above and sits at the Father's right hand, and his name is Jesus Christ, the ultimate reconciler. No one can bring folks to the table like Jesus in this life or the next. There is no place for man-made barriers in the Church since Christ is all, and in all. Because Christ indwells all believers, all are equal. He breaks down all racial, religious, cultural, and social barriers and makes believers into one new man. (Ephesians 2:15) Because of this, we are to be holy and beloved, have compassionate hearts, show kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, put up with each other, and forgive each other as Christ has forgiven us because we are called into one body and made a part of His family which is reason enough to be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15) This family is deeper than skin.

We talked about God’s family on a larger scale, so it’s only fair to look at what’s to be said of our home life as being made new in Christ; this newness also carries over to our homes.

Colossians 3:17–4:1 (ESV)

17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Col 3:18–4:1). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

One thing that matters in family is word and deed. If there’s one thing I’m am most thankful for a part from being in Christ is my family. My wife, my adult kids, my grandson, and sure I’ll throw my three crazy cats in there. Our words and our deeds resonate all to well in either direction so it’s only fitting that the Bible lays it out for us. Some study Bibles call this portion of Scripture “rules” for Christian Household, but I’m not a fan of that in the sense of rules, but rather these are “roles” that we are to model in our homes. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. In this day and time this admonition can rub some women and wives the wrong way if not exposed properly, so I’ll do my best here. The entire family structure created by God, from man to woman, and husband to wife, and parents to children is a picture of how God’s authority and operation works. Marriage is the most beautiful picture with the Lord uses to express his relationship with the Church, his bride and Himself being the head. Now, here’s where we often get it wrong in dealing with this word “submit.” I had worked though several commentaries on this one and this commentary gave a great picture of this very thing. It reads, “Be subject to is from hupotassō, and means “to subject oneself.” It has the concept of putting oneself under (hupo), not by compulsion, but willingly. Paul’s word to wives is be submissive to your husbands. They do not submit to some detached, impersonal authority. Rather, they submit to the man with whom they have an intimate, personal, vital relationship. It is helpful to note several misconceptions about submission. First, submission does not imply inferiority. Galatians 3:28 clearly affirms that spiritually there is no difference between male and female. Jesus submitted to the Father during His life on earth, yet He was in no way inferior to Him. Second, submission is not absolute. Obedience in this passage is reserved for children and servants. There may be times when a wife must refuse to submit to her husband’s desires (if they violate God’s Word). Finally, the husband’s authority is not to be exercised in an authoritative, overbearing manner. The wife’s submission takes place in the context of a loving relationship. That wives submit to their husbands is fitting in the Lord. The Greek form in this phrase expresses an obligation, a necessary duty. It is how He designed and commands the family to operate.”

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 168). Moody Press.

There you have it. This really paints a great segway for us as husbands to love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. In the same which Christ first loved us and loves His bride - the church - we are to do the same for and toward our wives. Ephesians 5:25-28 pretty much sums it all up. Here what it says:

Ephesians 5:25–28 (ESV)

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Eph 5:25–28). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

So in short, our role is packed in similar manner of Christ’s role towards his Church and the believer. Now, hubbies, ask yourself this: Would you ever want Christ to be harsh towards you or love you less when needed most? I find it interesting that the more we love our wives the more they show their respect and support towards us. It’s a beautiful thing for us as men to love our wives. And in the end, if we’re not loving our wives as we ought to men, then according to the passage do we have any love for ourselves. As our duty as Christians is to submit to Christ and the wives duty is to submit to her loving husband; so is it our duty to love our wives beyond how we feel. So, fellas, no time for games. Let’s put down that Call of Duty and be called to duty and see how powerfully God will work in our marriages and our homes. As for these kids, I’ve got something to tell them too - next week - because Christ is all!