A Rock Solid Marriage

Ephesians 5:22-33

God Centered Marriages

Let me ask you a question, what does a perfect marriage look like? I have heard of some who testify that they have never had an argument in their marriage, I then wonder how much time they actually spent together.

No, I look around and I see couples who are just starting out and then I see some couples who have been married for a long time and I tell you what it reminds me of. A deck of cards. At first you just need two hearts and a diamond to start. But as time goes by, you might find yourself wishing for a club and a spade.

Marriage should not be hostile environment but a harmonious entity. Now today, we see marriages being tested and tried, we are seeing husbands leave wives and wives leave husbands.

Why the destruction of marriage in our society? Well, when we lean to worldly interest and ideas instead of godly instruction, we find the destruction of marriage.

We are living in a day and age where there is a proverbial finger on the red button ready to set off a nuclear bomb on the home.

Friends, I tell you today, that the Lord has a different desire when it comes to your marriage. In fact, God has laid out the format for the perfect marriage right here in the Word of God.

(Read Scripture)

Now I want you to think just for a moment, how healthy is your marriage? Which one of these three best describes you marriage right now?

Magnificent, Mediocre, or Miserable? You know on our wedding day, there was music playing, bells ringing, and songs being sung, but for many the music in their marriage has gone quiet.

There is no longer jubilation and joy, but instead grunts and gripes. Now you might be here today and the thrill of marriage has faded in your life. Maybe you and your spouse are at odds with one another.

Your conversations are more conflict instead of communion. Well let me tell you, the scripture has a way of revealing to us the problem in our marriage and if we would just accept what the Bible tells us, friends we would have rock solid marriages.

Now notice what we see in this passage.

The Position of the Spouses (vs 22-24)

· Now understand that marriage is made for a man and a woman. Now who is more important in the marriage? Neither.

· The man is not the boss of the woman and the woman is not the boss of the man. God designed marriage to be a partnership with roles to be filled.

· There was a man who put out an ad looking for a wife and he got back this response: It is my undying quest to share your last name with you . As a self respecting and confident lady, I am ready to help you materialize your dreams through encouragement , good advice and financial aid if circumstances demand it . I wish to represent your best interests , uphold your family name and bring nothing but praise to our household . I will not only be your wife but also a fun friend

My mother raised me with dignity and to uphold Zambia’s Cultural values. I am a master cook and can prepare traditional delicacies and also international delicacies if you please. I have high hygiene standards and can clean to the standards of a 5-star hotel. In addition to these qualities and values, I hold a degree in Business Administration, Which is to say , I have my own personal ambitions which are secondary to yours ofcourse but will allow you to enjoy a social life outside our marriage. I will not stress you but enhance your life .

With my pleasant personality, cultural values and respect . I stand in a prime position to be your wife . I will anxiously await your response.

· What is the position of the wife? Well, the scripture says that there should be submission. Now I know that there might be some ladies in here who say I am not going to submit to any one.

· Well, understand the Bible want you to submit to your husband’s leadership, not to become a slave.

· The problem with many homes is that there is a battle for leadership. Its not that women cannot be educated, productive, and competent, however, God has also position women to help their husbands.

· The home today is being split apart, because wives don’t want to submit, and men don’t want to lead.

· Understand, rock solid marriages are marriages where the husband and wives know their position.

· Now what is the role of the husband? Well the scripture tells us in verse 23, that the husband is suppose to lead the wife.

· The scripture says that he is the head. Now what does your head do? It monitors, it observes, it makes decisions. But a head without a body is useless.

· Now the head is only useful if it has a body that follows its command. Now it should be our desire men, to want to look after our bodies.

· And if we have wives, we should want to look after them in the same manner.

· Now the problem with men today, is that many don’t want to lead. They don’t want to be the head. And when we become soft, indecisive, uncaring men, then friend we have open the door for the devil to come in and destroy the marriage.

· Now again who is more important? A head without a body cannot live, and a body without a head cannot live. A husband is not more important than the wife and the wife is not more important than the husband, they are one and the same.

· Men, the scripture teaches us that we are to lead like Christ, don’t lead like the devil. Wives, understand submitting to your husband is not a bad thing and that is what the scripture says you are to do.

· Now when you disregard scripture and do it your own way, when you step out of your position that God has designated for you, your marriage will suffer.

The Practice of Sacrifice (vs 25-30)

· Now we have seen the position of the spouses, but look what verses 25-30 speak about and I am calling this the practice of sacrifice.

· One of the biggest problems marriages face, is that spouses don’t want to sacrifice to make the marriage work.

· The scripture teaches here and it uses the man here as reference, that there must be sacrifice and it is illustrated just a Jesus sacrificed himself on a cross. He gave his life for us.

· Now let me ask you, are you sacrificing, are you giving yourself in your marriage or are you holding back?

· Are you being selfish and holding to your own wants, and not giving to your spouse? Let me tell you the scripture says that is wrong.

· You know why marriages fall apart? Pride and selfishness. We don’t want to admit that we are wrong in situations, and there are those things we just refuse to give up.

· Marriage is not a tug of war, marriage is coming to one another and giving and helping.

· Now men, the scripture really calls us out here, because we struggle to sacrifice. We don’t want to give ourselves fully to our wives.

· Say that your wife wants to do something with you over the weekend, but you already made plans with the fellas to go and play golf. She wanted you to go with her to see her parents. What do you do? Make every excuse of why you can’t go?

· Friend, sometimes we have to make some sacrifice and give ourselves to our spouse. That is what a healthy marriage does.

· Now when we don’t sacrifice that is when our marriage suffers. Now remember scripture is comparing marriage to the body.

· And there are times when this head of mine gets selfish and wants to eat something that the body is telling me I shouldn’t.

· I mean, have you ever been eating and your stuffed to the brim and you see that one piece left, and you eat it anyway.

· And then 20 minutes later you are hurting. What has happened. The body has disagreed with the head.

· What the head needed to do, was to sacrifice and give up, and listen to the body.

Men, don’t disregard what your wife shares with you. In marriage, it's often said that one person is always right, and that person is usually the wife.

· Well, let me rephrase that, when it comes to marriage, the Bible is always right.

The Pattern given by the Scripture (31-33)

· Now we have seen the position of the spouses and the practice of sacrifice, but there is a third thing and in its in the last verses and I am calling this the pattern given by the scripture.

· Now what is marriage? Marriage is when you leave your parents and you join with your spouse.

· The problem with many marriages, is that a husband or a wife have never left their parents. And who is running the marriage is not the husband and wife but the parents.

· Listen, marriage is suppose to be between the man and woman. Now I know that we have parents, but when you get married the support you now have should come from your spouse.

· Now ladies who are single, maybe you are dating a man, let me tell you some advice before you say yes to the question. Does he have a job, and does he have somewhere to live?

· You see when God gave Adam a wife, Adam had a job and he had somewhere to live.

· Now God has given the pattern of what a marriage should look like. And that pattern is shown with Jesus and the church.

· Do you know we as Christians, as believers and follower of God, are the bride of Christ?

· You see, your marriage should match up to Jesus. Now when we come to church, we come to worship Jesus, right?

· And a church that doesn’t have Jesus in it, is not a good church, right?

· Well your marriage needs Jesus in it. And if Jesus is not in your marriage, then you don’t have a good marriage.

· Friends, the pattern for a rock-solid marriage is a marriage that puts Christ at the center.

· Now the last verse, it repeats what has already been said. Husband love your wife. Love her just as much as you love yourself.

· That it is your desire to care for her and look after her just like you would look after yourself.

· And wife, reverence your husband, don’t disrespect him and embarrass him. Don’t degrade him and question his leadership. Support him and love him.

Now there are many who are going through some hard times in your marriage. Maybe it is the worst it has ever been.

Let me ask you, do you want your marriage to get back on track? Do you want to have a happy home?

Well it starts with giving yourself to Jesus. A solid marriage only comes when we yield to Christ.

Don’t be one who refuses to budge be a person who is willing to follow the Lord. And that starts by coming to him.

Now if you are not married, pray to the Lord to help you learn from this word how to be a good mate when that time comes. That you know what to look for.

Let us all understand that marriage should be a picture of Christ and the church, and if we don’t have harmony with Christ, then we don’t have a happy marriage. Come and let him get it right in your life today.