Untitled Sermon

Exalting Jesus in Psalms 1–50 (From Honesty to Intimacy (Psalm 13))

From Honesty to IntimacyPSALM 13Main Idea: Greater honesty with God cultivates greater intimacy with God.I. Accusing God: Expressing How You Really Feel (13:1–2)II. Asking God: Expressing What You Really Want (13:3–4)III. Accepting God: Believing What Is Really True (13:5–6)I (Josh) am not sure when it happened or even how it happened, but it seems that at some point Christians were taught that their emotions did not matter. Truth matters, but how we feel is irrelevant. At times, it seems many Christians are even afraid of emotions. We don’t want to be too excited; someone might think we are charismatic. We don’t want to be too happy; someone might think we are shallow. We don’t want to be too sad because someone might think we don’t trust the Lord. The result is that many Christians tend to either ignore their emotions or suppress them.But ignoring and suppressing our emotions does not make them go away. Telling people to stop being sad rarely keeps them from being sad. And ignoring our emotions ignores the fact that we have been created in the image of God, and God is an emotional being. God is often happy, sad, angry, or jealous, and he even weeps. Just look at the life of Jesus. Not only does God’s Word not tell us to bury our emotions, but it also tells us that how we feel matters to God.Dan Allender and Tremper Longman, in their book The Cry of the Soul, say it this way: “Our emotions are the language of our soul. They are the cry that gives the heart a voice. To understand our deepest passions and convictions, we must learn to listen to the cry of the soul” (31). In other words, to ignore our emotions is to ignore what is really going on in our hearts.The Psalms give us what the church often doesn’t—the freedom to express how we really feel. The Psalms remind us that although God does not care for our meaningless repetition, he loves our honest emotions. He welcomes them. He hears them. And he shows us how greater honesty with him cultivates greater intimacy with him.Psalm 13 is a lament. It is a cry of distress. It is an honest expression of the heart when it feels as if God has forgotten us. The lament in Psalm 13 can be summarized: “How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?” (v. 1). Psalm 13 also serves as a great example of our freedom to be honest with God and how that freedom is an essential part of our movement toward greater intimacy. If we fail to be honest, we will fail to be intimate. In the course of six verses, David moves from accusing God, to asking God, to accepting God. This process serves as an important model for us as we learn to be honest with God.Accusing God: Expressing How You Really FeelPSALM 13:1–2It’s difficult to imagine anyone being more honest with God than David is in these first two verses. Four times he asks the simple question, “How long?” He is in a season of what feels like unrelenting suffering. He feels as if God has forgotten him, as if God is hiding from him (v. 1), as if God is ignoring him, and as if God has allowed his enemies to triumph over him (v. 2). These are feelings that all of us, if we are honest, have felt at some point in our lives.When reading the Psalms, it is important to allow your heart to feel the emotion of the text. It is not enough just to understand the text; we must allow its emotion to capture us. Do you feel the emotion in these two verses? David is accusatory, frustrated, angry, irritated, and confused. He does not hesitate to express all of that to God. David looks to heaven and says, “Hey God, what’s going on with you? Where are you? How long are you going to ignore me and allow me to suffer?”We are not surprised that David feels that way (because we have all felt that way). We are surprised that David told God he felt that way. We are surprised by David’s honesty. Something about it feels sacrilegious. But the irony of feeling that way and not expressing it to God is that God knows exactly how you feel. Psalm 13:1–2 shows us that God wants you to pour out your heart to him. He welcomes your honesty.Asking God: Expressing What You Really WantPSALM 13:3–4If you look closely at the text, you will notice extra space between verses 2 and 3. That space matters. David is moving through a process of lament. As he does, it takes time for him to move from accusing God to asking God. It always takes time to move through this process. It cannot be rushed.In verses 3–4 David moves from accusing God to asking God. He makes three requests. He asks God to listen, he asks God to restore, and he asks God to bless. When David says, “Consider me and answer” (v. 3), he is doing what my kids often do to me. They demand that I put aside any distractions, turn toward them, look them in the eyes, and give them my undivided attention. There have been times when one of my children will even put a hand under my chin and turn my head toward her. This is what David is doing to his Father. He is asking God to stop ignoring him, turn to him, and listen!Then David asks the Lord to “restore brightness to my eyes” (v. 3). He is asking the Lord to wipe away the tears and return the sparkle. This is the same word used in 1 Samuel 14:27 when Jonathan, King Saul’s son, ate honey and it brightened his eyes (Leupold, Exposition, 136). It means to restore, energize, and refresh. David understands the physical toll emotional strain can take, and he longs for God to restore him spiritually and physically.Finally, David asks for the Lord’s blessing. God had promised to bless David, but it feels as if the blessing of God went to his enemies (v. 4). They seem to be prevailing while David is suffering. David wants the Lord’s blessing turned toward him.It is clear in verses 3–4 that David begins to turn a corner. After feeling lost and ignored, he pours out his heart to God by stating not what he really feels but what he really wants. He has moved to longing. He longs for God to listen to him, restore him, and bless him. David is headed in the right direction. Whenever we move from accusing God to asking God, we are moving in the right direction. We are moving toward greater intimacy when the cry of our hearts is one of longing for more of God.Accepting God: Believing What Is Really TruePSALM 13:5–6Just as there was between verses 2 and 3, there is another pause between verses 4 and 5. Why? Because lamenting takes time. It cannot be rushed. And the process itself, not just the end result, matters to God. We have no idea how long it took David to move from verse 1 to verse 5, but he eventually worked his way to a place of acceptance. He starts with a simple “But” (v. 5)—but in spite of how I feel; but in spite of what appears to be true; but in spite of my circumstances—“I have trusted in your faithful love” (v. 5).In these verses, for the first time, David feels confident and resolved. He is confident in the Lord’s love; he is confident in the Lord’s salvation (v. 5); he is confident in the Lord’s blessing (v. 6). The confidence of verse 5 is a dramatic departure from the accusations in verse 1. Somehow, in this process of lament, the Lord has reminded David of what is true, and David has chosen to believe it.But David is not only affirming his confidence in the Lord but also affirming his resolve to act on his confidence. This is always the nature of true faith. David says, “I have trusted,” “My heart will rejoice,” and “I will sing” (vv. 4–5). These are all acts of faith. It is not blind faith; it is faith rooted in his confidence in what he knows to be true about God. David is choosing to believe and respond to the truth he knows. God is answering David’s prayers. God is bringing David back to a place of confidence and hope. David continues to make progress.ConclusionDo you think David really believed what he said in verses 1–2? Do you think he really believed God had forgotten him forever? Do you think he really believed God had hidden from him? I don’t think he did. David is fully confident in verses 5–6 of everything he questioned in verses 1–2. But it took time for him to get from verses 1–2 to verses 5–6. We tend to be so quick to move to the acceptance of verses 5–6 (and even more quick to tell others to get moving), but we must not skip the process of verses 1–4. This process matters. The Lord does restore David to praise, joy, and confidence, but David gets there through the process of lament. In other words, we must give ourselves, and others, the freedom to be honest with God and the time to turn the corner from accusation, to asking, to acceptance.Any one of us who has tried to cultivate meaningful, healthy, and deep relationships with others knows that honesty is the foundation of intimacy. If there is no freedom to be honest, there will never be any true intimacy. This is also true in our relationships with God. If you do not feel the freedom to be honest with God, you will never move toward greater intimacy with God. So when you feel as if God has forgotten you or hidden from you, tell him. Pour out your heart to God. Don’t rush. And as you begin to pour out your heart to God and honestly express your emotions, you will be on the pathway to greater intimacy with him.Reflect and Discuss1. Do you feel the freedom to be honest with God? Why or why not?2. How do you think honesty with God cultivates intimacy with God?3. When you feel as if God has forgotten you, what do you tend to do with those emotions? What would be a healthier way to deal with them?4. Have you ever, thoughtfully or not, gone through a process of lamenting like David did in Psalm 13? Have you ever moved from accusing God to accepting God? Discuss that process with someone else.5. What role does the Word of God play in David’s transition in verses 5–6?6. Verse 6 begins with “I will sing.” There are times when we choose to sing even when we don’t feel like it. What role has singing played in your own life as a way to move into greater confidence in God?7. If you are in a season of struggle right now, what part of the lamenting process are you in? How do you feel that you can continue to move forward in that process?

The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling: Personal and Emotional Issues 1. Recognize the Feeling

1. Recognize the Feeling

• Have the person experiencing loneliness express the feeling during counseling.

• Put your thoughts and feelings in writing—possibly in a journal—as a way to determine the source of your loneliness.

• Make some social and spiritual changes to move out of loneliness (for example, become more involved in the community; devote time to communion with God every day).

2. Seek God

Human beings need both vertical intimacy (with God) and horizontal intimacy (with people) in order to be fulfilled. Without those relationships, they are vulnerable to the complex set of emotions described as “loneliness.”

Miriam Stark Parent

• Lonely times can draw one closer to God. God wants His children to be dependent on Him for everything.

• While social relationships are still lacking, for the time being, enjoy your relationship with God. He is the closest friend you will ever have. He will never leave and never disappoint you (see Heb. 13:5).

• Focus on the positive and cherish the fact that God has a will for each day and each stage of life.