A Community Seeking to Live & Love Like Jesus

Have you ever driven on a large freeway in a big city?

When I first moved to Seattle from Calgary at age 20, I drove my little Honda Accord from Calgary to Vancouver and then down to Seattle. I moved my things into the dorm known as Hill Hall at SPU - a dorm which they insisted we call a “Residence Hall” and we sometimes did.

I got really good at parallel parking my manual transmission car on the steep hills of Queen Anne and I was determined to learn my way around this new - and big! - city.

One of the things this meant was learning how to navigate the I-5 and all its many exits and on ramps. In Calgary, we had the Deerfoot… which I thought was a big road. But it didn’t really prepare me for the I-5 in a city so much bigger than my hometown.

One feature of the I-5 that I learned about the hard way, was that exits could be on the right, sure. But sometimes they were on the left. And if you ended up in a “must exit” or “exit only” lane, you were potentially heading over a bridge or onto some other intersecting highway and it might be quite the adventure to get turned around on back on track.

This morning, I want us to explore some realities of seeking to be a community who lives & loves like Jesus.

And I suggest to you that there are some “exit only” lanes that exist on this road we’re travelling - and that if you find yourself in one of these lanes, you are headed off of the road. And potentially in an entirely different direction than we were seeking to travel together.

In the same way, there are some onramps. Some entrances back onto the right path… things that will help you to reconnect, to reorient and to join back in.

So, seeking to be a community that lives and loves like Jesus is a JOURNEY. We’re moving… together. Most of the time. At different speeds, in different vehicles, and with some breakdowns and tow trucks to be sure.

But we’re moving towards Jesus.

There are some off-ramps, some “must exit” lanes and we’re going to look at four of them this morning.

Thankfully, there are also on-ramps. And this morning we’ll look at three on-ramps.

Four off-ramps. Three on-ramps. You ready?

Off-ramps - must-exit lanes:

(There are likely many more off-ramps than these, but I appreciated this list from pastor and teacher John Maxwell.)

Assumption - “I already know.”

“It’s been said that the three most limiting words in the English language are “I know that.” After all, if you already know — why listen? The person talking will likely not feel listened to, even if you pretend you are interested.”

Feigned listening isn’t really listening.

Arrogance - “I don’t need to know.”

“This is a sure-fire way to make someone feel dismissed, disrespected, or disregarded. The result is likely to be anger or feeling diminished, rather than feeling connected. Be particularly aware of this when you are speaking to  someone who holds a lower level position than you.”

Control - “I don’t want others...” (to know, to do, to be in charge…)

“There was a time when knowledge was power. That time has long since passed! Withholding information will breed mistrust rather than connection.”

Indifference - “I don’t care.”

I don’t care (about this) quickly turns into I don’t care about you.

Oh dear! These all sounds familiar and I’m sure we could tell many stories about how we’ve both been the drivers who have taken these exits AND have been impacted when others insist on staying in these “must exit” lanes!

How do we find the “freeway entrances” … the on ramps back into following Jesus as a community when realize we’ve taken the wrong turn?!

The apostle Paul addressed a community like this when he wrote to the church at Philippi…

Philippians 1

27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. ... stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel 28 without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

On-ramps - entrances back onto the freeway:

Curiosity

Humility

Empathy

Shout out to my colleague David Ohori who refers to these as CHE

Curiosity

“Curiosity drives creativity, collaboration, and provides a foundation for healthy and productive conversations. On the other hand, a lack of curiosity—with no desire to learn and no interest in others’ concerns—fosters reactivity, anxiety, conformity and complacency.”

Pause and wonder (without anticipating the answers!) before reacting or defending.

Humility

“Humility recognizes that everyone’s thoughts, opinions, and issues have significance (including our own!). Humility recognizes that we all can make mistakes, and when we acknowledge them, there is an opportunity to learn from them. Humility prioritizes humanity and drives authentic connection even when we disagree because we value the other human (not necessarily their perspective). Pride or shame, on the other hand—when we place our agenda ahead of others, or the other extreme, where we bury our thoughts and feelings deep down because we believe what we have to say doesn’t matter—fosters reactivity, anxiety, conformity, and complacency.”

Not putting down ourselves, but also not inflating our own importance…we matter and so does the person we’re connecting (or struggling to connect) with.

Rest (in your own belovedness) and reflect (it to the person/people you’re with)

Empathy

“Empathy is the state or action of understanding, or being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another.”

Sympathy is being WITH someone in their experience, but empathy

"...encourages us to step outside our comfortable position, bias, and agenda, and tries to understand the conversation from the other’s unique lived experience. It doesn’t mean we have to agree (that would be sympathy). Instead, it means we seek to fully understand what makes the other believe they are right. Empathy is dangerous to our ego in some ways because we may find out that the other has a better reason to believe they are right than we do.”

Enter in

‌The good news is that God knows the off-ramps we take that lead us away from Jesus and make being in community more difficult, and God continues to invite us to follow, beckoning us towards the on-ramps of curiosity, humility & empathy that we see lived out so beautifully in Jesus. So, the invitation is to once again.  orient ourselves to be facing Jesus… and then, as always, asking “What is the next step towards Jesus?” And to keep listening for His invitation.

I wonder if this morning, one of these must-exit lanes has resonated with you in some particular way…

Take a moment to remember what you felt and experienced as we talked about Assumption, Arrogance, Control & Indifference… is there one of those that feels especially … resonant?

Assumption - arrogance - control - indifference

I wonder if this morning, you sense Jesus inviting you to pay special attention to one of these on-ramps this week… or in this season of your life.

Do you need to pause and wonder before reacting and defending?

Do you need to rest in your own belovedness so that you can reflect that to others, seeing them too as beloved children of God?

Do you need to enter in to the experiences and perspectives of someone you find it hard to connect with?

Let’s take a moment of quiet and then Joanne will come and lead us in prayer…