God's Attitude toward Divorce

Introduction

Divorce has continually become more and more of an epidemic in our country. We have all heard the stats according to the APA, the current rates of divorce in America are between 40-50%. But according to Shanti Feldhahn, a Harvard trained social researcher and author, these statistics were actually based on hypothetical numbers projecting what they thought would happen because of laws being passed in Washington. According to Feldhahn, the stat is actually closer to 25-35% for the overall population. We have also been told that christians are just as likely to get divorced as non-Christians. This statistic is also misleading because the term Christian included non-practicing Christians. Once you define Christian as those who are actively going to church and practicing their faith into the mix, the stat is that Christians are 35-50% less likely to get divorce than the non-religious.

Nevertheless, much of our society has been affected by divorce in one way or another. Many of you like me have experienced divorce in your family and know the damage that it causes. We are going to be beginning a three to four week series on the topic of divorce and remarriage in the bible because it is an important topic touching on our marriages. Tonight, we are going to lay a foundation by asking What is God’s attitude toward divorce? What does God think about it? Our text will be Malachi 2:10-16. (Read text)

Before we jump into the text, it is important to understand the background of this passage. Malachi is what we call a post-exhilic prophet meaning he prophesied after the exile. Judah had gone into captivity to Babylon, but came back from Babylon in 536 BC. After the exile the Jews were no longer tempted to commit idolatry, but their religion had become mere formalism. Malachi who overlaps with Nehemiah brings a series of 6 legal disputes against the people of Judah. Throughout the book, Judah fights back against these accusation which we see in the phrase Yet ye say.

In our current text, God is going to deal with the issue of unjust divorces or what he calls dealing treacherously. Nehemiah gives us a little of the background:

Nehemiah 13:23-27 “In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab: And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews’ language, but according to the language of each people. And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?”

Malachi condemns the people and especially the priests who led the way because they were divorcing their Jewish wives and marrying pagan women. Malachi 2:11 “Judah hath dealt treacherously, And an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; For Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, And hath married the daughter of a strange god.”

1. He says by doing so they have dealt treacherously. The meaning of the word here is related to the word garment in our passage. According to Charles Isbell, the idea when this word was used as a verb was that you were taking someone’s garment, but it came to be used to describe other acts that were improper within the setting of a community composed of equal partners in covenant with God. ill: within the church

2. It was also called an abomination. As much as marriage is a picture of our relationship with God, their improper marriages and divorces were a destruction of the image of marriage. It was something detestable to God.

3. It is also said to have profaned God’s holiness- especially within the Christian Church where we profess to have been forgiven by God, seeking to live holy lives; divorce degrades God’s glory. It sends the message that our faith is not strong enough to be able to work through these problems. The world looks at divorce within the church and thinks they are not different than us. Christian marriages ought to be stronger because they are based on our forgiveness in Jesus Christ. With that in mind, let’s jump into the topic for tonight.

The Attitude of God toward Divorce

The main verse of this passage that summarizes God’s attitude toward what was happening is Malachi 2:16 “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: For one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: Therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”

Simply put God hates divorce. I think it is important to keep the context in mind when we look at this statement because God isn’t just saying He hates divorce but the treachery of divorce. As you most likely are aware and we will be looking at in the following weeks, God permitted divorce under certain circumstances. Divorce is even a term God used to describe what He did to Israel when they committed spiritual adultery. But just because divorce was permitted does not mean that that is what makes God happy. Divorce exists because of the fallen world that we live in. It always comes because of sins destruction whether legitimate or illegitimate divorce occurs.

In pastoral counseling, we have made a distinction between divorce and separation and there is a sense in which that distinction is true, but the meaning of the word and the word as it is translated here means the sending away of a spouse. In essence, separation is an informal divorce.

God’s desire is that husband’s and wives would be one flesh, united together in every way. Gen 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This is God’s original intent: one man and one woman for life. But after the fall, sin destroyed the ideal of marriage.

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” links the husband wife relationship with that of Christ and the Church. When something beautiful is destroyed by sin, wouldn’t that make you angry as well?

Imagine you had a beautiful pond that you made with your own hands out in the front lawn and some vandal came along and died the water red, poisoned the water killing the fish and ran over the landscaping with their car. Would that not make you angry? Would you not hate vandalism?

God created marriage to be something beautiful, but sin destroyed it. Divorce the result of that sin destroyed it. Divorce though sometimes necessary never makes God happy.

The Destruction of Divorce

Divorce is not a victimless action either. It always has consequences that you may not have seen beforehand. Whenever something deviates from God’s original plan for mankind, it is going to hurt us in some way. There are many consequences of divorce that I could mention like financial loss, having to move, broken relationships; but I am going to focus on the destruction of divorce that we see in the text here today.

God was not accepting their offering because of unjust divorce Malachi 2:12-13 “The Lord will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, Out of the tabernacles of Jacob, And him that offereth an offering unto the Lord of hosts. And this have ye done again, Covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, Insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, Or receiveth it with good will at your hand.” Remember the context of this passage is that Jewish men were dealing treacherously with their Jewish wives by divorcing them. As long as unrepentant sin existed in their hearts, God would not accept their offerings. Psalm 66:18 “If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear me:” If you have done wrong by your ex-spouse in divorcing them under illegitimate reasons since you have been saved and you have never confessed that to God, something stands between you and God. These men were doing wrong, unjustly by putting away their spouses.

The wives were crying out their eyes before the Lord- Malachi 2:13 “And this have ye done again, Covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, Insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, Or receiveth it with good will at your hand.” Most commentators believe these are the tears of the wives as they cry out to God over how they are being treated. There is emotional destruction when a couple chooses to get divorced. Some divorces are a mutual agreement between the two parties, but the pain still exists. Sometimes there is sadness and depression. Sometimes there is anger and bitterness. Though there may be relief escaping a bad situation, one can often struggle with guilt, depression, bitterness, loneliness because of divorce. Even when there were good reasons to get divorced, the emotional pain of the divorce is often still there.

The children are always affected- One factor that most couples don’t think about when considering divorce is the effect it is going to have on the children. Malachi 2:15 “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.” Is acknowledged as one of the hardest Hebrew texts to interpret, but there is still some clarity on what God says one of the purposes of marriage is: to bring forth a godly seed. Divorce has an affect on the kids.

It makes it harder to raise those kids to serve the Lord- When you end up raising kids between two households, there is often disagreement on how they will be raised. Other influences can undermine what you are trying to teach your kids.

it sets an example that marriages end in divorce. I don’t think any of us would want that for our kids.

It can create insecurity in their relationships with either parent. Maybe the feel like the parent doesn’t love them anymore so that is why they left, or they fear the other parent might leave them at any moment. Sometimes they might feel like it is their fault that the parents got divorced. Children can struggle with feeling like they belong or wondering who they are.

Some children act out their anger in destructive behavior. They don’t know what to do with the feelings they are having so they lash out or they feel like they need to get attention.

They can become distracted and thus perform poorly academically.

The Reason God hates divorce

Why does God hate divorce so much?

We are all created by God and so we should treat each other well- Malachi 2:10 “Have we not all one father? Hath not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, By profaning the covenant of our fathers?” God created all of us men and women, husbands and wives equal before Him and so when one of us is mistreated it makes Him angry.

Marriage is a covenant- relationship based on promises Proverbs 2:17 “Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, And forgetteth the covenant of her God.” When a marriage is dissolved, you are actually breaking down a solemn promise that you have made, a contract made between you and your spouse. As understandable as it might be, it is a violation of your word, promises and commitments. Breaking such a covenant should not be taken lightly. As I have said before, marriage is a picture of the covenant God made with us when He saved us.

Husbands and wives are one flesh- Malachi 2:15 “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.” This phrase has been interpreted to mean that God made one husband and one woman, one flesh. Gen 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” When two things are glued together, breaking them apart is going to do damage to them.

divorce defames God’s holiness- Malachi 2:11 “Judah hath dealt treacherously, And an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; For Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, And hath married the daughter of a strange god.” Divorce takes something holy and special and makes it common or insignificant. We are treating what marriage represents about God as if it didn’t matter.

The legacy that you leave your children is destroyed- Malachi 2:15 “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.” Every time a couple chooses to get divorced they are breaking down the heritage they are leaving for their children. It breaks the family line which leaves them with broken connections to their family history. In cases where one member has complete custody of the children, the other spouse has no influence in their lives. While this might be a good thing in the circumstances, it is unfortunate that it has to be this way.

Conclusion

Most couples who are struggling with their marriage are often doing it alone and in silence. Many are not aware that the church provides counseling and there are marriage resources available to you if you need them. American culture has normalized divorce and made it no big deal, but it is a big deal. Sometimes it is a necessary big deal, but it is never a good big deal. If you are struggling, I want you to know there is help here at the church. When the invitation is given this evening, you can come to me and we will set up a time to meet. No one will be looking around.

For those of you who have been divorced, I don’t want you to leave this service thinking “great, God is against me and there is no going back.” This is only part one of a series on this topic and sometimes there are circumstances where divorce is permissible and even necessary. God’s mercies are new every morning; so you don’t have to live under the guilt of what happened in the past. If you are married again, God recognizes the legitimacy of your marriage and wants you to live for His glory in that marriage.

This message is intended to align ourselves with the heart of God that divorce is a tragedy of a fallen world that always has consequences.