Words To Live By

We are now in the backstretch of this beautiful book, Colossians, and despite it being a brief journey, it’s been fruitful. Our last chapter ties a nice bow to all we’ve picked up along the way. So, here is a quick recap: First, in chapter one, we learned that Christ is the preeminent one of Bible-believing Christians and of all creation. Second, we found in chapter two that once we accept Christ as Lord and Savior, we now have life in and through Him. And third, since we live in Christ, we also have a new mindset and behavior toward those closest to us - our families. We realize that each of us has a role to play in expressing the character of God and just mere rules to follow. Husbands are charged to love their wives, as Christ does the church. And in the same manner, we learn that wives are to submit to their husbands as the church is subject to Christ as its head. (Eph.5:22-24). When such conduct is on display, it can be used to win over the disobedient. (1 Pet. 3:1-2) And before we dip into chapter four, as promised - and I’m making sure to keep this one - I’ve got a couple things to say to these kids about what their role is in God’s structure of the family and something extra for fathers as well which will go a long way. That will be part of the message where I expose myself as much as we disclose this text, so let’s get into it! Turn, scroll, or swipe your Bibles to Colossians 4:2-6:

Colossians 4:2–6 (ESV)

2 Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. 3 At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— 4 that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. 5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Col 4:2–6). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

I want to double back a bit into the tail end of chapter three because this next verse WILL require some steadfast prayer, and I need to keep a promise to the “yutes.” Look at Colossians 3:20, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Now, in the slight defense of these kids, I will say that this charge can be one of the toughest to swallow. For starters, they’re pretty much at the bottom of the proverbial pecking order. And if we’re honest, who what’s to be told what to do? However, this measure of obedience has a great deal of importance. In the same way that the relationship of husband and wife illustrates what Christ is to the Church, the relationship of parents to children paints the picture that we serve and obey as subjects in the kingdom of God. Obedient children today will become obedient subjects in the kingdom of God tomorrow. This instruction is given throughout Scripture. It appears in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. It shows up at least three times. (Exod.20:12; Eph.6:1 and Col.3:20). Who grew up in the 80’s? If you did, we’re all familiar with those infamous last words, “Don’t have me tell you again.” So if our earthly parents had to repeat themselves, which led to some unfavorable circumstances, how much more so should children heed the words of their heavenly Father? Here’s another reason for kids to obey their parents: this was the law’s first commandment with a promise attached to it. Look at what

Exodus 20:12 reads, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” I don’t know about you folks, but who here doesn’t want to live for a while. Even folks who don’t have much to say wish to live long enough to keep talking about the things they have no business saying in the first place. In short, no one will be upset about living longer. So how exactly did their lives become longer by mere obedience? Back then, we had to pick our own switch, get smacked on our bottom, or pop in the mouth. My favorite go-to for the kids was the writing assignments and essays on why they were got! If there was one class, they didn’t struggle in - it was English! But in the days of our pre-Christ brothers and sisters, you were put to death depending on the nature of the act. No such thing as a timeout, then. Here’s how one commentary puts it: “Striking or cursing one’s parents was punishable by death in the Old Testament (Ex. 21:15–17; Lev. 20:9), as was continued disobedience (Deut. 21:18–21). Children are to listen to their parents’ instruction and obey it (Prov. 1:8 and 6:20). The consequences of disrespect for parents are graphically portrayed in Proverbs 30:17: “The eye that mocks a father, and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.”

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 170). Moody Press.

The brand of discipline back then was on a different level. So then the question of the day becomes, “Why so serious?” Because there’s something more sinister at play. The McArthur Commentary sums up in this way: “Disobedience to parents marks the ungodly: “Men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy” (2 Tim. 3:2; cf. Rom. 1:30).

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 170). Moody Press.

In other words, they looked to stomp evil out of their kids. Thank God for His grace and his Christ! But you know what? The chief motivation for obeying your parents’ kids is this: It’s well-pleasing to the Lord! And guess who also was the FIRST model of childlike obedience to their parent? Jesus! Take a peek at what Matt.3:17 says, “And behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” The Father was well pleased with His Son because He only said what he heard him speak and did what he saw his Father do. (Jhn.8:38 and 14:7). Children are to obey their parents in ALL things. So many young people struggle with knowing the will of God for their lives. Well, obeying your parents - especially Godly ones - is an excellent start, guys! The only time this doesn’t apply to a child’s obedience is when a parent demands something contrary to God’s Word or His will, which now leads me to a word for the parents - particularly to the fathers.

Colossians 3:20 reads, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Dads - if you want to start a hypocrisy club for men, this is the verse to kick things off with. There was a time in my own parenting when I was not only a member but also the president of this infamous club. Trust me when I tell you I wasn’t nearly the father I am now. Another translation of this same verse puts it this way: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” The word exasperate means to intensely irritate or frustrate. This, too, has been said TWICE once here and again in Ephesians 6:4. Another thing to note with this verse is that some commentators have said this translation for the word “fathers” should be translated much more closely to “parents” as it is used in Hebrews 11:23, about Moses being hidden by “his parents” when he was born. So with this being laid out, this is indeed a word of instruction for both fathers and mothers.

True story (Explain Kayla’s white jeans illustration)

When the apostle wrote this to the Colossian church, the intent was for us who set the example to not be the reason our kids lose heart. There will be a lot of things that will challenge our kids, but do we really want to be the reason they don’t have any fight in them? One of the commentaries put it this way, “Paul’s command is, “stop nagging your kids.” Failure to obey this can cause children to lose heart. The idea of that term is “to be without courage or spirit.” It has the sense of being listless, sullen, discouraged, or despairing. Parents can take the heart out of their children by failing to discipline them lovingly and instruct them in the ways of the Lord with balance.”

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 171). Moody Press.

Funny, how back in the era and day I grew up in, most parents would tell us kids to either “man up,” “grow up,” or “act like a lady,” and yet specific actions and words were doing the complete opposite. Instead of instilling courage, we can find ourselves as parents robbing them of it only to see them broken and unable to stand their ground when the world comes calling. I won’t go through all the nuances of how we (parents) do this because we still have a fourth chapter to cover. Still, one last motivation for fathers and mothers not to do this is: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” (Psa.127:3). Some translations use the word “gift” instead of “heritage.” This verse is a sermon in itself, but in short, even our kids are a gift given to us by the Lord. Let this sink in for a bit - All belongs to Him! Okay, so we’ve covered a lot of ground in this short journey of Colossians, so we know that Christ is the preeminence of all things. We also know that until we receive Christ as Lord and Savior, we’re dead in and to sin, but we’ve been made alive in Christ. Then, we’ve come to the place where now that we’re living, we must learn and rethink how to live. How to grow in grace and peace with and towards our families and flow in the order of God’s family structure. So the big question of the day is: “How on earth are to do it?” In chapter four, Paul gives us some final instructions and words to live by. He writes,

“ 2 Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. 3 At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— 4 that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. 5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

The first thing on the list is prayer. What I’m about to say next will come off as controversial and insensitive, but if any of you know me at all about cliches, I don’t care. Listen, hashtags, bumper stickers, cute sayings, the Movie of the Week, or a t-shirt, at best, will not restore our homes and churches and give God-fearing men and women the boldness to deliver this Gospel to the lost. One of the worst cliches I’ve heard over the years is that of the “prayer warrior” - I hate it! And here’s why. Prayer is a privilege. It’s a sacred practice towards and with God; the minute we start to itemize and attach such practices to ourselves, who is the glory directed to? This also can make those feel as if they can’t get a prayer through, “Oh, if I can only pray like Brother So-n-So or Sister Who-n-Who, I’ll get an answer!” I want to think Peter made out pretty well. In Matthew 14:30 my guy Peter had the shortest prayer in the Bible, “Lord, save me!” From there, with the power of God and His Spirit, he helped to establish and found the church and had an angel break him out of prison (Acts 5:17-20; Acts 12:1-19), and wrote some of the New Testament epistles to the Jewish community - I’d like to think that Peter made out well without the need to be a “prayer warrior.” This subject of prayer is also a sermon for another time, but it’s about the manner rather than the practice in this verse of Scripture. The word “steadfastly” refers to the devotion to prayer. And if we’re honest, this aspect of being steadfast in prayer is often overlooked. We’re holding fast to the object of our faith, Christ Jesus.

In the same way that the early church and Peter’s brothers and sisters prayed for his freedom in Acts 12, so too are we - today - to pray with such vigor of devotion for those in Christ with thanksgiving. Paul makes another plea to the Colossians in verse three as follows: “At the same time, pray for also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison - for that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.” Whether you all believe this or not, the prayers of the saints for those who handle this Word are premium! Every Friday or Saturday, usually Friday, I either get a call or text from DaQuan asking, “Hey, you good for Sunday? What can I do to help?” And my response every time - PRAY! Trust me when I tell you it’s not about prayer for how I sound, getting a pat on the back, or a “Good Word” from the folk - NO! It’s about me being yielded - heart and mind - to the truth, which is pulled from these Scriptures to empower the listener with the Gospel - and praying that we ALL get it! The response given to the apostles when they sprung from the prison the first time was, “Go and stand in the temple courts and proclaim to the people all the words of this life.” This same life that Paul wrote to our Colossian brothers and sisters and us now. It takes extreme boldness to tell a daunting, arrogant, and broken world system that it’s in error, dying and needs the Gospel. A whole and complete Gospel.

Here are more words to live by, “Walk in wisdom towards outsiders, making the best use of our time.” This comes back to “how you livin’ holmes?!” When the unbeliever sees us, do they see a walking cliche that’s a fool with no wisdom, or do they see practical, down-to-earth, ordinary people being kept by God’s extraordinary grace? Locking ourselves in isolation for 14 hours daily in a “prayer room” and fasting the other 10 hours a day won’t impact the loss. Legalistic living toward the unsaved is not the answer. But what if we went and got wings at a spot, watching the game with a co-worker and telling them everything and anything about Jesus? And guess what? If our lifestyle and conduct hold to practical wisdom and the simplicity in Christ, they might listen to us. It’s these types of opportunities and use of time in which the Gospel is lived out in front of the audience that the Lord has given. So next, since all those tasty wings are almost gone, folks are ready to spark conversation. How do we speak to them about the Gospel? With GRACE! Verse six says, “Let your speech ALWAYS be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Consistent in our lifestyle isn’t enough, but consistency in our speech sets an entirely different precedent. Think about it: who wants to be known as the friendly believer to people, but their mouth and thumbs are as ratcheted as a 150-piece set from Auto Zone? He’s cool, but he might say something a little crazy. She’s incredible, but have you seen some of her posts? The believer’s speech must ALWAYS be with grace, as was Christ’s. (Luke 4:22) There is no place for those things that characterize the unredeemed mouth. Whether undergoing persecution, stress, difficulty, or injustice, whether with your spouse, children, believers, or unbelievers—in all circumstances, believers are to make gracious speech a habit. To speak with grace means to say what is spiritual, wholesome, fitting, kind, sensitive, purposeful, complimentary, gentle, truthful, loving, and thoughtful.

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 187). Moody Press.

Regarding our talk, we are Bible-believing Christians, so we don’t get the luxury of taking plays off. We always have to be engaged in the mission at hand. As for the seasoned with salt, here’s Richard Melick stated in his commentary, “The second characteristic is that of salt. Again, Paul’s words were proverbial. Salt had three uses at that time. It could preserve a food, “sterilize” a food (antiseptic), or season a food. Here Paul took the last meaning. The conversation was to be seasoned, i.e., acceptable and inoffensive.”

Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 325). Broadman & Holman Publishers.

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McArthur’s breakdown is even better: “The speech of the new man must also be seasoned … with salt. It is not only to be gracious but also to have an effect. Salt can sting when rubbed into a wound ( cf. Prov. 27:6). It also prevents corruption.”

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (p. 187). Moody Press.

It’s one thing if the truth of Jesus Christ and the Gospel offends those outside of the body; 1 Peter 2:7-8 sums that up pretty well; however, it’s an entirely different matter when our words are so cankerous that the truth is lost, and once again, Christ is left holding the bag. In other words, Christian, knowing how to read the room is essential. Paul meant this when he wrote, “that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

When we come into contact with different types of folks who also think, live, and believe something different, can we give an answer and account for what WE believe with grace and precision? Sound solutions offered with a positive spirit overcome many obstacles to the gospel. This text emphasizes the method of answering more than the content. It calls for Christian graciousness and sensitivity to the person and situation.

Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 325). Broadman & Holman Publishers.

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But the best advice to take heed to this was written by James, who knew a thing or two about testing and patience, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (Jas.1:19-20) Words to live by.

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In conclusion, Colossians 4:7-18 illustrates Paul’s love and appreciation for the work in Colosse and their journey there to help. This is indeed a shout-out of shout-outs, and Paul would not have one person not mentioned the help and growth of the believers there, which is so important. What was also seen in verse nine is Onesimus, who was the former slave of Philemon. He serves as a test case and reminder for instruction concerning how masters dealt with slaves at that time. The closest thing to this now can be how business owners treat their employees or any org structure. We see Tychicus, a special messenger for Paul, carrying this letter for him. And I would be remiss not to mention the teaching moment even for the apostle for giving a special shout-out to Mark, also known as John Mark, from the book of Acts. Most people point to his redemption from Paul in 2 Timothy, but we see it here in Colossians first. The tension between Barnabas and Paul was so thick that Barnabas took his cousin Mark to learn and grow in the ministry, only for the apostle’s own words to work on his heart in also saying that Mark was profitable to the Church (2 Tim.4:11) which, at the same time, one of these men will have a darker and sad future ahead, see 2 Tim.4:9-10 for the deets on this one.

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So what’s the chief point of this beautiful book? The outreach of the Church has its most significant impact when our chief importance is on Christ and His in reach within the Church. No one can make us more alive, unite us, and build beyond what we could ask or think. There’s one who can do this - Christ is indeed all.