Modeling Godliness (Ephesians 4:25-32)

If you have your Bibles, turn with me to Ephesians 4:2-32. Last week, as we studied verses 17- 24, and we learned how Christians are called by God to model godliness to the world in which they live. We saw specifically that all believers are called by God to live and think in a way that is differently than unbelievers. That we are to continually strip off the old selfishly sinful way of life, renew our minds daily with the Word of God, and put on godliness so that we adorn His righteous and holy nature.

The apostle’s choice of word imagery was clear and simple. We are to take off or strip off our sinful patterns and habits like old clothes and replace them with new ones that bring glory and honor to God, that resemble His character. And though that sounds simple enough, let’s be honest its an incredibly hard thing to do. My wife reminded me this week of an old pair of sweatpants that she used to own. And she faithfully wore these pants at least once a week or more for probably over 10 years. As you could imagine those sweatpants literally started falling apart. I remember taking them out of the dryer and thinking not just why would anyone wear these, but how can anyone wear these… How those things stayed in one piece for so long could possibly qualify as a miracle of God. And yet every time, I suggested throwing them away… she would come the rescue of her favorite clothing and quickly tell me back down. I remember telling her repeatedly, Joy I will go and buy you 10 pair of sweatpants, in every color, if she could just let them go… And of course, she quickly let me know that the Gap no longer made pants like that anymore and they were irreplaceable. Well, eventually and thankfully the sweatpants completely feel apart and had to be tossed.

Now, something tells me we can smile and laugh about that, because we can all relate. Sometimes, we just stumble across certain clothing that seemed to be tailor made for our comfort and enjoyment. And its hard to imagine our life without it. That’s the imagery Paul has in mind here… some of our sinful ways are very comfortable and have become part of our very identity over the years. And the apostle says, if doesn’t honor God, if it doesn’t reflect His holiness and righteousness, then we must, as difficult as it might be, strip them off and leave them behind as we put on Christ and model godliness.

That’s where we ended last week, and today in our passage, Paul continues with this same imagery, and he gives us five great examples of how we are to model godly righteousness and holiness. Now, before we dive into those examples, I want you to see three overarching observations about these examples:

1) I hope you see that every exhortation in this passage is relational in nature. Please understand, that both holiness and righteousness can never develop or grow in isolation from other believers. Every example given by Paul in this text are aspects of the unity we are to display in the church. Every evil listed in this section is to be avoided because they destroy our sanctifying relationships and unity with one another.

2) We will notice in every example; Paul begins with a negative action that is to be replaced by a positive one. Again, Paul is fleshing out his argument of stripping off the old sinful ways and putting on the new man, created in the image of God. Now, I think there is something to be said here: sadly, our world seems to be mostly familiar with what the church is against, all the things the Bible call sin, right? and yet as Christians, one of greatest challenges is to let the world know what we are for. We are for the putting on of truth, love, honesty, edification, and redemption. We are to take a stand for all that is good in the Lord, as we strip off the old selfish ways of life.

3) Thirdly, I want you to notice that in each example, the apostle gives a theological reason for the command. Again, our theology and practice must always be tied together. In this passage, Paul explains the reasons why we live differently from the world around us. For the truths that we hold to be true affect the way we live. Now, with these three general observations in mind, let us read our text together this morning (READ EPH. 4:25-32).

This morning, let us notice these five examples or ways in which we are to model godliness to our world. Now, this is not an exhaustive list of examples, but it is surely an invaluable list that sets a pattern for us to follow…

1) Modeling godliness requires us to speak truth in love (v. 25).

In Ephesians 4:15, we already studied how the apostle called us to speak truth in love, but now he calls upon his audience to lay aside falsehood all together. Notice again, verse 25… “Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRTUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR”. The word falsehood in this verse literally means “the lie,” the singular nature of this word is interesting, but this is generally understood in a sense of a lying habit.

In the ancient world the practice of lying was widespread and prevalent, and some of the young believers who struggled in this area had brought this problem of lying right into the church. In Colossians 3:9-10 a parallel passage to this one, Paul wrote, “Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him.” This verse makes it clear that Paul must have regarded lying as a prevailing characteristic of the old life.

Sadly, little has hanged over time. Ever since the fall of man, the unregenerate naturally continue to spin webs of lies and deception. Today, our society is so dependent on lying, that if it suddenly shifted to where truth became the norm, our entire way of life may completely breakdown. Could you imagine world leaders telling each other what they really thought of each other? Perhaps, WWIII could be eminent. Could you image watching a news channel that did not alter truth towards a political agenda? We are so cultured in this world of lies, that many of lie without even knowing they are doing so. And we must remember lying certainly includes more than simply telling direct lies. It also includes exaggeration, betraying a confidence, flattery, making excuses, and cheating on an exam, homework, or tax returns.

As Christians, we are to have no part in such things. We must remember that Satan is the ultimate liar. In John 8:44, Jesus said to his opponents… “You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” To live a lifestyle of lying is to speak as if our spiritual father is Satan. Instead, as Children of God, we are to lay aside and strip away that kind of lifestyle and speak truth each one of you with his neighbor. Therefore, in quoting Zechariah 8:16, Paul transitions from a prohibition to a command. And calls us to speak differently than the world in which we live.

But don’t miss the theological reason that the apostle adds to this command. Paul writes, “for we are members of one another.” Interestingly, Paul doesn’t point us to the Godhead. He doesn’t speak of the God of truth, nor Jesus who proclaim Himself to be the way and the truth and the life, nor does he speak of the Spirit of truth, but rather, the apostle points us to the church, to the local body of believers. Paul wants us to understand that our choice of words naturally has a powerful effect on the entire body. If my eye says to my hand that the steaming iron is not hot and I touch it, what happens, I get burned! You see since we are united together, our false words always, always, always hurt the whole body. Lies naturally suppress unity; while the truth faithfully strengthens it. Listen, truth and love, they certainly belong together. For our lies always destroy our relationships with others.

Now, think about this (before we move to the second point)… all the trouble in the world began with just one lie. In the garden, Satan whispered a single lie into the ears of Adam and Eve, and as they sinned by acting on that lie everything began to fall apart. And yet, we somehow believe that there is little to nothing wrong a little white lie. Church, we must lay aside such thinking and such speaking. We must grow to love the truth and honesty for it builds us up as the family of God, into the very image of the one who embodies truth. If we are going to lay aside falsehood and model truth, then we must speak truth in a loving way for we are members of one another.

2) Modeling godliness requires us to display righteous anger (vs. 26-27).

Verse 26 echoes Psalm 4:4, that reads “Tremble, and do not sin.” The word “tremble” in the Hebrew literally means to quake in anger or fear. Paul along with psalmist, is saying that God permits, if not commands, a particular type of anger. These two verses, Eph 4:26 and Psalm 4:4, recognize that there is such a thing as Christian anger, a righteous anger, which is the Christian’s proper response toward sinful activity. It’s the anger that abhors injustice, immorality, and ungodliness of every sort. Paul is saying that we model godliness in our display of godly and holy anger. The anger that God has towards all sin. The anger that provokes His wrath.

Jesus, Himself, expressed and modeled righteous anger when God the Father was maligned or when others were mistreated, yet the Lord never displayed selfish anger over the way He was treated. In the gospel of Mark, we are told of two separate events where Jesus’ holy anger was on display. In Mark 11, in anger he overturned the tables of the money changers and drove them out of the temple, for they were defaming the house of the Lord. Then in Mark 3:5, in response to the religious leader’s question about Jesus healing someone on the sabbath, we read that Jesus, “looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart.” Notice His anger was fused with grief. As believers, we too should be both grieved and angered over sinful actions.

Listen church family, we need to feel anger as believers. We should hate sin, just as God does. Yet, sadly, many Christians today, if not most, have grown apathetic toward sinful activity. We excuse it, we belittle it, and look past it as if it didn’t exist. And yet every time we fail to express anger over sin, do we not deny God, damage ourselves, and encourage the spread of evil. Oh, that God would help us to grow angry over sin.

But notice, though that Paul places three very important restrictions on our anger. First, we are not to sin in our anger. When our anger is self-defensive, self-serving, and resentful over what has been done against us, it is sinful for it leads us into sinful activity. Listen, anger that is selfish, undisciplined, and vindictive has no place in the believer’s life. We are to be angry over sin and yet be careful not to sin.

Secondly, we are not let the sun go down on our anger. Now, for sure, this doesn’t imply that the Eskimos in Alaska are allowed to display anger for 6 months at a time. What Paul is saying here, is that we must not allow our anger to fester over time. Instead, we must work diligently to resolve it quickly. That’s all Paul is saying here. I remember early in my marriage, when Joy and I would have an argument, (shocking I know) and we would stay up late trying to work through all our anger before we went to sleep at night, because that is what the Bible said!

However, I’m not a night owl, and staying up late seemed to make things worse at times for me, because all I wanted was to sleep, and I make little sense after 9pm. Listen, this restriction and exhortation is not necessarily to be taking literally, but it is a command to deal with anger in a timely manner. Sometimes, the best thing to do is get sleep, and when you wake up refreshed, you are able to converse in a way that brings glory to God.

But, it is also very interesting to note, that the Greek word for anger at the end of verse 26, is not the same word that is found at the beginning. The second word anger is personal in nature. It implies deep feelings of irritation and resentment towards a person, where the first word for anger in this verse is directed towards a thing, which is to be sin. As Christians, I know you have heard this before, but we are to hate the sin and not the sinner. We must do everything we can to restore our broken relationships before things progress to that point. Therefore, we must not let the sun go down upon our anger.

The third restriction that Paul gives is also his theological concern. In verse 27, Paul adds, “and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Listen, Satan knows very well that there is a fine line between righteous anger and unrighteous anger. He knows how easily it for us to become sinfully angry with each other over sin. Therefore, he loves to prowl around those who are emotionally upset with each other to provoke them into sinful activity, into hatred, or even into acts of violence. Satan wants to lead us to a place where lose all control over our emotion.

Author and pastor Alexander Strauch once wrote, “Recognize that uncontrolled anger inflames emotions, exaggerates issues, and hinders godly correction. It leads to be less rational and more self-justifying. It deals with people harshly. Loud, threatening talk can echo in a person’s mind for a lifetime.” That’s Satan’s goal, to torment you with sinful anger, and cause long-lasting division among God’s chosen people. He longs for you to be able to no longer control your anger, so that your anger will ultimately control you and others.

Church, if we are going to model godliness then we must display a righteous anger over sin and that which robs God of His glory. Yet when it comes to our relationships, we must not sin in our anger, we must deal with the sinful issues quickly, and must not give Satan the opportunity to lead us into further sinful activity. Thirdly,

3) Modeling godliness requires us to work hard and be generous. (v. 28).

The third example and command that Paul sets forth demands a change from stealing to sharing. Historians of the ancient world tell us that stealing was very common in Asia Minor. Therefore, Paul calls upon the church to flee these social norms, which were a clear violation of the eighth commandment.

Again, little has changed in this world. Theft is still a major problem in our world. And I’m not just talking about the streets of San Francisco where people and gangs enter stores and blatantly take what they want, filling up carts and duffle bags and then blatantly walking past security. Nor am I speaking of all the carjackings that are taking place in major cities. No, I’m talking about padding our expense accounts at work, exaggerating numbers on our taxes, forgetting to return those things we have borrowed from others, and using our employer’s time for things other than work. Such subtle actions are too not surely theft?

Look again to verse 28… “He who steals must steal no longer.” Notice, the old self, and those who are not in Christ, have a built-in inclination to steal, and to take that which does not belong to them. Perhaps, Paul had in mind day laborers and skilled tradesmen, whose work was often seasonal. Therefore, when work was not an option, they were tempted to steal in order to survive.

Yet, the apostle commands them to “labor, performing with his own hands what is good.” Oh, how we must understand that it is God’s will for everyone to work who is able to do so. God created work, and it is one of His many gifts to us! Two verses are worthy of our consideration. 1 Thess. 3:10… “if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either.” And how about, 1 Timothy 5:8… “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” As Christians, we must demonstrate a strong and honest work ethic, doing what is good and honorable to provide for both ourselves and our families. We are to work hard “performing with our own hands,” doing whatever we can to provide for those we are to care for.

But also notice the theological purpose that Paul adds specifically to this command at the end of verse 28. He writes, “so that he will have something to share with one who has need.” It is not enough for a thief to stop stealing and simply work hard to meet his needs. No, he must also work so that he can share with others. Church, our desire to earn more income should always be for the purpose of generosity, so that we can give away to glorify God and help those in need. John Wesley once wrote, “Work as hard as you can, make as much as you can, then give as much as you can.” If we are going to model godliness, then we must adorn a generous spirit. We must move from the position of being a “taker” to being a “giver.”

Again, this is hard work, isn’t it? It’s a call to strip off those old comfortable clothes. It is a command to exhaust ourselves in service for others, to share, and give away that which we selfishly what to keep for ourselves. Like a parent of a young child playing with a toy who doesn’t want to share, Paul exhorts us to release our grips on that which we pridefully call “mine,” to honor God and be blessing to others. Modeling godliness demands that we work hard and display a generous spirit. It requires us to live sacrificially, to give instead of take.

4) Modeling godliness requires us to voice edifying and gracious words (vs. 29-30).

The fourth example of the way we can model godliness is our memory verse for the month. It is here that Paul calls us to use our communication in a way that is constructive. He writes in verse 29… “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

The word “unwholesome” is very descriptive in nature. In the Greek it latterly means “rotten or putrid.” Have you ever eaten fruit or food that is rotten? When I lived in southern Sudan, I often, if not daily prayed the great missionary prayer, “God, I’ll put it down, if you hold it down.” I’ll never forget one night when me and my ministry partner Joel were out in the bush showing the Jesus video. It was a powerful night, as we arrived in the dark of night and began to set up this little thirteen inch tv and a solar panel battery. As we were working we hear people gathering, but it was too dark to see the Sudanese who tend be very dark colored people. But I’ll never forget turning on that tv and then seeing in the projected light hundreds of people gathering to watch tv. For almost all of them, this was the only tv they had ever seen. And it was wild to watch them interact with technology as they were completely amazed and wondered how there was an entire world inside that 13 inch box, complete with people who spoke their language. I’ll never forget that moment, and that moment would have been perfect, if we were not invited over for dinner by the chief after the movie.

Immediately, after the film, Joel and I were taken into a hut, and we sat around a table, and they brought out some local bread that I knew was good and they placed a bowl of a mixture of things for us to dip the bread into to eat. Now, peanuts were actually a common food there, and with my first bite, that was all I tasted, it was like a warm peanut butter sandwich, and quite tasty. So the next bite, I took my bread and got a little more adventurous with bread and got put a lot of that sauce on it. And when I put it in my mouth, there was quite a surprise. I first noticed a small bone in my mouth and then the worst taste of my life came to be. I could tell it was fishy in nature, but where we were in Africa, we were at least 10 days from the closest fishing hole, and there was no ice or electricity. This fish had gone bad days ago, but they gave it to us, thinking it would be a delicacy. Instead, it was rotten and putrid.

Paul says, let no unwholesome, putrid, rotten words proceed from your mouth. Such corrupt talk fails to nourish anyone, but rather makes people sick. This is the communication that flows from a corrupt heart. Matthew 12:34 tells us that “the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.”A foul mouth, therefore, reflects a foul heart. Examples of unwholesome communication include lying, abusive language, vicious and unkind words, gossip, slander, profanity, off-color jokes, and dirty stories, such words should be repulsive to the taste of our mouths like rotten fish or rotten fruit.

In place of such unwholesome talk, Christians should speak constructive words that are helpful and build up others in grace. We literally are to converse in such a way that our words become a vehicle and demonstration of God’s grace. The GK word for “edification” in this verse was an ancient construction term that referred to an action that assists in brining something closer to completion. Therefore, if if our choice of words does not build up and benefit another, then it is not worthy to be said at all. Our words must aim edify and give grace to others. Paul says, that is how we are to speak to one another, not with rotten and putrid words. Proverbs 25:11 reads, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.”

Yet, notice in our text what Paul interestingly adds next. Verse 30… “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed for the day of redemption.” This particular warning is tied directly to verse 29. Even though we can easily argue that all the sins listed in this passage grieve the Holy Spirit, Paul intentionally links this warning to the verse on our communication.

The word “grieve,” implies that the Holy Spirit is fully personal, for the word implies that the Spirit can experience such human feelings as sorrow, pain, and distress. The Holy Spirit is naturally grieved by that which is not holy, and since He is also described as the “one Spirit” in Eph. 4:4, who unifies us together, then we must also understand that any act of disunity within the body will also cause Him grief. In fact, anything that is incompatible with the purity and unity of the church is incompatible with the Spirit and causes Him grief and pain. And this grief may certainly lead to the quenching or suppression of the Spirit, which forfeits His immense power and blessing in our lives.

Instead, Christians must be sensitive to the One, who sealed us for the day of redemption. Paul already spoke of this sealing which occurs at the beginning of our walk with Christ, where the Holy Spirit takes up His residence in our life and stamps us as His own. “The day of redemption”, on the other hand, looks on to the end, when our bodies will be fully redeemed from sin. Therefore, this sealing and the day of redemption refer to the beginning and the end of the salvation and sanctification process. And in between those two points of time we are to grow in Christlikeness and make every effort to not grieve the Holy Spirit. Listen, every Spirit-filled believer must desire to bring the Spirit of God pleasure and not grief.

As you consider your own walk with God this morning, are you grieving the Spirit in any way, or are you living in a manner that would bring Him joy? Now with those questions, remember the context of this verse and let me ask you… in your communication with others and also in the way you communicate with yourself… in those ways do you grieve the Spirit by speaking unwholesome words? Oh, what a warning we have here, that both our words and our actions can grieve the Holy Spirit and that in turn could quench His power and blessing in our life. If we are going to model godliness, we must be intentional to voice edifying and gracious words.

5) Modeling godliness requires us to exhibit supernatural virtues. (vs. 31-32).

In the last verses of our text today, Paul list six ungodly attitudes and actions which we are to put aside entirely. He begins with bitterness, which is smoldering resentment. It is a sour spirit that becomes evident in sour speech. Bitter people are irritable, they naturally complain, and are very pessimistic towards that which they take an issue.

Next Paul lists wrath and anger. These two terms are virtually synonymous, yet wrath denotes a passionate outburst, where anger in verse 31, is more subtle in nature, like a sinful seething animosity. From wrath and anger, Paul moves to clamor and slander. Clamor describes people shouting at one another, while slander is speaking evil of others, especially behind their backs, with the aim of destroying their reputation.

Lastly, Paul lists malice which signifies a mean-spirited vicious attitude or disposition. Now, twice, in verse 31, the apostle intentionally mentions the word “all.” All of these sinful attitudes and actions, along with any twisted variation of them, must be quickly and intentionally removed from the person who seeks to model godliness.

As you look at these six sins listed, notice that each one involves conflict between people. These particular sins break fellowship and destroy relationships. They weaken the church and deface its testimony before the world. Listen, when an unbeliever sees a believer acting just like the rest of world, the testimony of the entire church becomes in jeopardy. Oh, how important it is that each one of us act on these sacred words of scripture, for there is no place for these evil attitudes and actions within the Church family.

In their place we are to “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (v. 32). These are manifestations of grace that God has shown us, and they are gracious virtues that we are to certainly show others. You see, God did not set His love upon us, nor did He choose, or redeem us because we were deserving. Instead, He did those things simply because He is gracious. And in His grace God has shown us kindness. Kindness is a readiness to do good, to help, to relieve burdens, to be useful, to serve, to be tender, and to be sympathetic to others. We are to kind to others.

We are also to be tender-hearted. A tender-hearted person is a compassionate person, someone who feels and is moved by empathy for someone’s need. And lastly, Paul calls us to forgive each other. This is the ultimate way in which we are able to model godliness. Listen we are never more godly, never more like God, than when we truly forgive someone for sinning against us. And the Greek here is powerful. It literally reads “act in grace towards one another.” Just as God in Christ has acted in grace towards us. Such godly and gracious actions that we are to model can only be forged in our lives supernaturally. Apart from His grace, will never be able to emulate such godliness and grace.

Church family, acting in grace and modeling godliness has and will always involve personal sacrifice. In grace, God gave and sent His only Son to live in a broken world and to die for the sins of man. In grace, Christ lived a perfect life on our behalf, and then He laid His life down as a sacrifice for our sin, so that the just wrath of God for our iniquities could be fully satisfied. May we never forget that our forgiveness came at the highest cost imaginable. It was secured with the innocent blood of the lamb of God.

And through faith and repentance, God will pardon every one of our sins, and accredits Christ’s perfect righteousness to our spiritual account. What amazing grace God offers to everyone of us sacrificially. We simply must believe in Christ, in His life, death, and resurrection. That our sin debt has been paid in full by His death on the cross. And in faith, we are to live our lives for Him. We are to turn from our sin and model godliness as we die to ourselves and obey His Word. My friend, have you done that? Have you placed your hope in that gospel message? Oh, the grace, peace, and joy that awaits you!

Church family, God has poured out His grace upon us. He has forgiven us at a very high cost to Himself and clothed us in Christ’s righteousness. And now God calls upon us to show that same sacrificial grace to others. He commands us to die to ourselves, to consider the needs as others as more important than our own. He calls us to model His kindness, compassion, and forgiveness to sinners. He exhorts us to speak the truth and build each other up with our words, He commands us to guard our hearts from unrighteous anger, and to be generous to others.

If you look over this passage, every example given, and every action we are called to practice will come only at a high cost to us. It will certainly be painful and difficult to obey these commands. But we must die to ourselves and live for Him. To whom do you need to show costly grace to, today? Are you willing to pay the price, to turn from your pride, and humbly obey God’s Word? Are you willing to forgive? Are you, my brothers and sisters, willing to strip off our old comfortable ways of life, and model godliness to one another? Pray with me….

KSW