The Wisdom of Friendship (Pro 17:17)
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Introduction:
Introduction:
Adoration for God’s friendship with humans.
Adoration for God’s friendship with humans.
When you think about true friendship, what comes to mind?
Do you think about Joey and Ross
Or Jerry and Kramer.
Do you think of two people always meeting and always having something to talk about?
Do you think of two guys who always gat their back not matter the situation.
Do you have a picture of a perfect friend?
Who do you rely on to be a friend?
If you had a true friend, what would it look like.
Do you believe friendship is worth the pursue?
Above all do you believe that God is your friend.
Or, do you believe it is easy to maintain friendship
So far we have studying through the book proverbs to discover some of principles for relationships. We gone through the wisdom for speaking, forgiveness, and conflict.
So far, we have come to the resolution that wisdom is not a junction but a pathways for us pursue. We don’t suddenly enter into the application of wisdom, but we journey through the application of wisdom through series of progressive and intentional practices as we depend on God.
More so, we have learned that this wisdoms are promises but they are principles for living that shows us how we ought behave and think, and not necessarily how we behave and think.
If you are like me, the wisdom literature is call to wisdom, not a promise for wisdom.
Therefore, today we will be looking at how the wisdom literature calls us to the wisdom of friendship.
The title of my sermon today will be the Wisdom of Friendship.
However,, today, we discover from the Bible that the reason for friendship lies in the fact the we are spiritually needy and needed.
The gravity of neediness should propel us towards meaningful friendship and the magnitude of needfulness should motivate us towards embracing and nurturing true friendship.
The almighty David,
who slew a giant
Who claimed to have defeated a bear and lion,
This same David we find in 1 Samuel 20, seeking a friend’s help to escape death.
In the time David’s trouble, he sought out a friend that got his back.
Jonathan, the son of a David’s enemy moves toward’s David and helps David in his time of need.
Jonathan, showcases true friendship by also being emotionally invested in the affirm of DAVID. He refused to eat or be merry when his father threatened to Kill DAVID
He helps David to escape Saul by providing sound advise.
Also, David proves loyalty to protecting the lineage of his friend when he became king of Israel.
The friendship between David and Jonathan is exhibited in the fact that two people who are equally needy and needed make a solemn choice love each other.
The bible says in 1 Samuel 18: 1-4
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.
Jonathan loved David as he loved his soul. Adn that was exhibited by how Jonathan gave what was his to David.
At the point when both would depart from each other, the bible records in 1 Samuel 20:41-42
And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’ ” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.
David cried aloud when he was going to depart from Jonathan, and David’s affection was manifested in how he remembered and kept the promises.
Also ruth and Naomi who had face bitter losses. Naomi had lost her son and Ruth, her husband,
But both make a choice to start friendship that was comforting.
Ruth says to Naomi,
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.
What then is friendship?
Church,
Friendship is the amalgamation or the union between two or more people who are equally needed and needy and have continual physical, emotional , and spiritual investment in each other.
The question then is why should we pursue and nurture friendship? Why should we pursue having this needy - needed union?
What binds the communion and fellowship of this union?
My first point is :
We need friend and are always in needed of friends.
We need friend and are always in needed of friends.
Again, why should we pursue it friendship,
We are needy people who are in need of friendship.
We need someone in our life who would come to our rescue.
Not simply come to our rescue but also choose to love us and stick closer to us.
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.
We need that friends who has chosen to love us at all times.
We need that friend who will rise up to our situation when we feel weak to rise up for ourselves.
Although proverbs 17:17 states that a brother is born for adversity,
we will later see that in Prov 18:24, a friend sticks closer than a brother. Listen Prov 18:24 states
A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
In our world today, many of us either don’t have true friends because we have interpreted association as friendship.
We have misplaced or misguided ideas of friendship because we think that the people who like our instagram post or facebook post are our friends.
We think people who we have the same political issues are our friends.
We think our work buddies who we associate with from 9-5 concerning work related matter are our friends.
Yes, they could be our friends, but from a biblical standpoint, that is not true friendship.
In many cases, we pretend that we are engaging in true friendship because we know that true friendship exposes our neediness. It exposes our weakness
It interaction with true friend will tear of our veils of self righteous and self competency.
Friendship will definitely show us that we are weak and in need of someone to help us.
No wonder that even after God had created man, He said about him,
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Man in all of his perfection, without sin, was in need.
Temptation is notthe only thing that makes us in need.
The truth is that has believers,we are born for fellowship and friendship.
Therefore Ecc 4:9-12 declares woe upon those without friends, because naturally we are in need.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Hey brother and sisters, the reason many of us dont pursue friendship is that we forget that we are in need.
As a result, the our natural need for friendship means that we need friendship always.
Not one time
Not momentarily
But forever, we will always need a friend.
Listen brother and sisters, Jesus is that friend who has not only loved us once and for all, but he loves us continually.
Lets look at Rom 5: 6-10
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
Listen Church, Christ has justified us once and for all.
Christ has cleared our guilt and shame, once and for all.
We are no longer enemies of God once and for all.
Christ died for us.
But when Christ died for us, he did not sort say,
Alright, I have done it all for you ,
Now go sort yourselves out.
Romans 5:10 states clearly,
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
Christ power still holds us firm.
Christ’s power still saves us from temptation and sin.
Christ power still draws grant unto us grace in the time of need.
The life of Christ helps us.
What is that life of Christ,
Look at what Hebrews 4:14-16 states,
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Christ is a true friend, who has once and for all turned us away from being enemies of God, to being friends of God. Now that we are his friends, his life continue provide more and more mercy and grace.
And we need to do as friends is to draw near.
We draw near because we know our neediness of our friend Jesus.
Christ does not turn us away because we are weak.
But he loves at all times.
He sticks closer than a brother.
But tells us to come because solely because we are weak and needy
However, on the flip side, we abuse Christ’s friendship when become so proud to draw near.
Let’s see James 4:4-8
You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
The problem with the friendship here si that this people were acting as enemies of God because they were to proud to draw close to God and to receive his abounding Grace.
Hey brothers and sisters.
Have you forgotten that you are needy.
Have you forgotten that you need a friend at all times.
This is the wisdom of God, that we need friends.
For many of us, the issue is that our pride gets in the way of nurturing true friendship that meets our needs.
We feel to confindent in ourselves that we don’t want to recieve help from anyone.
No matter how strong, competent, confident, we need a friend.
Prov 27:17 states
Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.
No matter how strong iron is, it needs another iron to sharpen it.
Many times we realize that we have friendship where we are always the helpers.
But, sometimes we get so tired of the friendship thinking friends dont care.
But have you ever been vulnerable enough to go to your friends to say,
I need help?
Or, do you want to keep making your friends think you are strong, competent and perfect.
Are too ashamed to be vulnerable about ypur flaws and needs.
Do you so called friends actually know you?
Are you opened to receiving advise from your friends even when it is painful.
Prov 27:6 states
Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Listen friendship is hard because we know that exposure to true frienship means that people can scratch that part of your back that your hands can’t reach.
True friends would see our hypocrisy, sins, bad habits and manners, our tendencies, and unhealthy attitudes, and they would come to us and confront it in love.
But, if you had that true friend that confronts you, will you keep that friend.
If you had that friend that shows you your sin in love, would you call him friend
As a result, are you trying to do the impossible that can only be done with friends.
The issue is that we practice this social media form of friendship where by we want to see only our good side without seeing our bad side.
We practice this social media friendship that makes friendship much more comfortable where we don’t have to walk up to others and meet with them to tell them our issues.
We sit down in our comfort thinking that people will automaticaly come to our needs.
Or we sitting down in or comfort hoping that people don’t come to see our needs.
Where by we dont want people to enter our space because it leads to vulnerability and transparency.
Hey brothers and sister, again let me remind, there is no shame in neediness because in Christ, we are all equally needy people.
Listen, even the Iron among us needs another iron.
We are all co-needy people.
And if we are co-needy,
we ought not to be ashamed of the exposure and vulnerability that comes with friendship brings.
Listen are you drawing nearer to your friends or are you isolated from them?
Tell story about junior high school.
Do they know you?
Are you allowing them to cover you with their robes and provide armor and sword of hard counsel?
There is no shame, because Christ has cleared your shame and he continues to show you mercy.
My second point:
We Have friendship in Christ and are Needed for Friendship
We Have friendship in Christ and are Needed for Friendship
Remember, the question we examine is “why should we pursue this communion of friendship.”
Hey brothers, I guess we know the answer.
But this answer is hard.
The truth is that we are needed.
We are only needy, but we are needed.
What? But Golden you just said that we are needy.
How can we be both needy and needed.
Listen, in Christ, we are needy, and in Christ, we are also needed.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Christ was elevating the disciples here from servant friends because he will die for them.
Not only will he lay his life for them, he would make known his plans to them.
The disciples are called friends because they are benefactors of Christ’s grace and mercy and the knowledge of the Father.
Because of this, they ought to bear fruit.
What is the Father doing?
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
Now that they know, they ought to love. Knowledge of God must always lead to love for Christ and the love for one another.
The knowleged of God’s recocilaition means friendship with God.
And God is reconciling the world to himself through the power of Christ.
He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him,
Christ is both propitiation and advocate.
Christ is the once and for all atonement for all sins,
And our advocate forever.
Advocate there means helper.
He is the helper. He is the one who “comes alongside.”
Now that we know, we are called to bear fruit of love and friendship withone another.
How does this friendship start, it starts sacirfice, knowledge, and walking alongside.
Listen, Christ is that friend that sticks closer.
And he calls us to do the same in friendship.
He calls to greet oneanother,
Honor one another
Be hospitable to one another.
Listen and care, and comfort another.
But this all start with knowledge.
How would you know the needs of others if you don’t walk up to them and listen to them, and ask relevant questions that shws your affections for them?
Yes, you say you have friends, but do you know what they are doing?
Do you know what your friend is up to
Or are you saying, “Am I my brothers keeper”
And if you know, are you willing to be there for them and love them “always.”
Are you willing to help in one fashion or the other
It could be a sacrifice of your space, finance, comfort, and your time.
And if you know what your friend is doing, are you willing to give them counsel or do you keep flattering them or do you say it non my business.
A man who flatters his neighbor
spreads a net for his feet.
Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Hey brothers, what will you do with the knowledge you have concerning your friends.
Will you use that knowledge to discourage them, remind them of their past sins all the time, demoralize them. Or will you strengthen and comfort them all the time.
Knowledge of your friend to lead more love
With knowledge comes sacrifice,
Will you help them as needed
Will you counsel them as needed
Will you rebuke them as needed
Will you encourage them as needed
Will weep with them as needed
Will you laugh and rejoice with them as needed.
Romans 12:15-16 states
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
When you have the knowledge of your friend’s joy, will you rejoice.
When you have knowledge of your friends grief, will your grief together.
When that knowledge changes over time will you still love.
Now, you friend has move to another state, will you still be that friend
Now you friend is not more as strong as he used to, will you be that friend.
Now your wife is getting old, will your love still remain
Now your husband is no longer as strong and charming as he used to be, will that love remain the same.
Hey, the problem here is that we run aways from friendship because being needed means we will make sacrifices that is costly for us.
Hey, the problem here is that we run aways from friendship because
being needed means we will make sacrifices that is costly for us.
Hey, it is painful to show others the friends we love their weaknesses but we must do it anyways.
It is hard to walk up to friends when we have other things to do, but we must do it anyway.
Why?
Because in Christ, we are needed for friendship.
We have been called friends,
And we nurture our friendship not out of feelings or passions, but out of faith in Christ.
For some of us, we say to ourselves, I am not needed?
I am too old?
I am too young?
I am single?
I am an introvert?
I am an extrovert?
I am an immigrant?
I have never been a mum?
I have never experienced loss?
Hey, in Christ you are needed. By faith, pursue true friendship.
By faith we know that Christ became the friend with or and for us. He was friend with us, and became a friend we could be. Now he has called us friends.
We pursue friendship by faith.
We will not always get this friendship right but we have an advocate and helper, who comes alongside us molding us into the friends day by day.
We are co-needed and co-needy people in Christ.
Final Point:
We have Friendship through Humility.
We have Friendship through Humility.
So then, what can sustain the friendship of the needy and needed.
What can then sustain the continuos love between the needy and needed.
Paul Puts well when he states in Phil 2:1-3
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Since the needy and needed are co-participants in love, sympathy, encouragement, and affection that Christ gives, they ought to humble themselves.
The needed must not feel better than the needed because he has helped the needy
But in all this glorify Christ, who sees his neediness and counts him worthy to be a vessel for goodness and service.
The needThey ought to humble themselves enough to seek the needs of others rather than elevating their needs above others.
They ought to count their friends more significant and worthy to see their weakness.
The needy must not consider consider better than the needed through some selfish sense of entitlement that comes by looking only to his own interest, but show gratitude to needed and God who through Christ has chosen the lowly and poor to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom.
Explain---- why people are unthankful (familiarity, entitlement, pride, laziness)
So , the needed glorifies Christ in their neediness for Christ. The needy Glorifies Christ in their riches in Christ.
The bond of friendship through humility must be embodied and founded in the glory of our Christ,
who came to this world emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men… and humbled himself even to the point of death.
He was that true friend that came to us and became like us, and sacrificed himself for us by humbling himself to God.
And by humbling himself, God has exalted him.
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
See that friendship. Christ is humbling and the father has exalted and bestowing glory.
Christ glorifies the father and the father glorifies Christ.
Are you waiting to experience that glory?
Church are we waiting see that divine glorious friendship?
Therefore, Let you life show that expectancy as you depend on Christ to be true friends that draw near to one another.
Again, Are you waiting to experience that glory?
