Fruit of The Spirit:Self Control

Thank you Pastor BJ for inviting me allowing me to share with y'all this morning. It's truly an honor and a privilege to be with you all. I just wanna say you guys are truly doing some amazing work here in Broomes Island, you all are making a real impact and i cant wait to see how God bring revival in this area through humbled/obedient followers like you. Im also excited to see how this starts to overflow in to other communities around us.

It takes a-lot of work, faith, boldness and humility to lead a church which is something Pastor BJ and the whole family have shown when it comes to BIC and as well as everyone who has come alongside them.

Some of you know who i am, but for many of you this is our first time meeting so let me tell you a little about myself. As you know Im Nick Oliver married to my high school sweetheart Robyn (yes we've been together since we were 15) we have 3 crazy and amazing children in Gabi (14), Mikaela (9), and Lukas (8). I am a licensed pastor in the Wesleyan church (almost ordained , just a-few classes to go) I the pastor of a church Plant called Avert which launched 1/2022

-Im super competitive, i love Football, MMA, and all things star wars and marvel.

I didn't grow up in the church, had a pretty rough up bringing lots of abuse and me always getting in trouble, until i finally gave my life to Jesus when i was 22. My wife likes to point out how my life completely changed when i gave my life to Jesus (which it should)

GIVE BACKGROUND ON RElATIONSHIP WITH BJ!

I always like to open with scripture and prayer, just in case this flawed man gets in the way of what god is trying to communicate at least we can walk away with knowing e heard Gods word and prayed.

Read Galatians 5:22-23 Together!

PRAY!!!

-The Christian life is a battle of the sinful flesh against the new nature given by Christ . As fallen human beings, we are still trapped in a body that desires sinful things . As Christians, we have the Holy Spirit producing His fruit in us.

-A Christian will never be completely victorious in always demonstrating the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

- It is one of the main purposes of the Christian life, though, to progressively allow the Holy Spirit to produce more and more of His fruit in our lives—and to allow the Holy Spirit to conquer the opposing sinful desires.

- The fruit of the Spirit is what God desires our lives to exhibit and, with the Holy Spirit's help, it is possible! And we learn that a lot of these fruits are tied together often

-We walked through the fruits of the Spirit at Avert last year and it was a powerful experience! I hope and pray that has been the case for you all as well. I get the honor and privilege to wrap this series up with you all today.

-And let me tell ya Pastor Bj gave me the easiest one to talk about! LOL. Share about how i seemed to struggle with each fruit of the spirit as i was prepping for these at Avert! Share experience about struggling with it this week and over eating while at my dads!

The Struggle with Self-Control Section:

The challenge of self-control. As Christians, we are called to exhibit self-control in our lives, but we all know how difficult it can be. So, why is having self-control so hard?

Lets go over a couple reasons why this can be such a struggle:

Human Nature and Temptation:

-First and foremost, we must recognize that as humans, we are inherently prone to temptation.

- From the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve faced the allure of the forbidden fruit. This tendency to desire what we shouldn't have, to be enticed by our passions and impulses, is a part of our fallen nature. This is why self-control is an ongoing battle for all of us.

The Battle of the Flesh and the Spirit:

-The apostle Paul spoke about the ongoing battle between our fleshly desires and the desires of the Spirit (Galatians 5:17For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.).

-Our sinful nature often pulls us towards instant gratification, but the Spirit within us calls us to live a life that pleases God.

-This internal struggle makes self-control challenging, as we must constantly make choices that align with God's will rather than following our natural inclinations.

Cultural Pressures:

-Our modern culture is filled with messages that encourage indulgence, impulsiveness, and immediate satisfaction. We're bombarded with advertisements that tell us we deserve to satisfy every desire, regardless of the consequences. In such a culture, practicing self-control can seem counter-cultural, as it requires us to swim against the tide and make choices that go beyond the surface level of pleasure.

Lack of Awareness:

-Sometimes, the difficulty in exercising self-control arises from a lack of awareness. We might not fully recognize the impact of our choices on our spiritual journey, our relationships, and our well-being. Without a clear understanding of the long-term consequences, it becomes harder to make disciplined decisions. ( i have been here!)

Dependency on God:

-Paradoxically, one of the reasons self-control is hard is that we often try to rely on our own strength. We forget that true self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, as mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23. We need the Holy Spirit's guidance, strength, and transformation in our lives to truly develop self-control.

-I have tried to have self control and conquer certain things in life on my own strength and have failed time and time again!

While having self-control is hard due to our human nature, the battle between the flesh and the Spirit, cultural pressures, lack of awareness, and our need for God's help, it is not impossible. We must acknowledge the challenge, be vigilant, and lean on the power of the Holy Spirit. By recognizing our weaknesses and seeking God's help, we can grow in self-control, honoring our faith and living a life that aligns with God's purpose for us.

And it is my personal opinion When we lack self control we wont find any of the other fruits of the spirit in our lives or it will be extremely difficult to experience:

-peace (we are always unsettled as we look to satisfy our flesh constantly)

-joy (its hard to have joy when you cant truly find everlasting/real joy in the things we indulge in)

- love (we cant experience the true love of God when we are so busy freely giving ourselves away to satisfy our flesh and its hard to selfless love others when we are only concerned about ourselves and our “needs”)

-kindness (when we lack self-control, we can become nasty people if we don’t get what we want, when we want it)

-faithfulness ( we aren't faithful to God when we cant obey Him and His ways, because we are to busy giving into every temptation and looking for other way to feed the flesh)

-gentleness ( we may think we are gentle even were pursing things of the flesh, but eventually we become not so gentle and are willing to do anything to get what we want)

-patience (is non existent when we lack self control)

-goodness (hard to do good for others or His kingdom when we are only focused on self gratification)

these are some of the reasons why in my opinion makes Self-control of the utmost importance to make sure is in our lives which leads us to our next section....

The Need For Self Control Section:

In Proverbs 25:28, which says, "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls."

-This verse paints a vivid picture of the consequences of lacking self-control. Just as a city without walls is vulnerable to attacks and chaos, a person without self-control is susceptible to the turmoil that can result from unrestrained desires and impulses.

-Think about the significance of walls in ancient times. They provided protection, security, and a sense of order. Without walls, a city was exposed to dangers from the outside world, leaving its inhabitants vulnerable and defenseless. In the same way, lacking self-control exposes us to internal and external turmoil that can lead us away from the path of righteousness and wisdom.

-Consider the various areas of our lives where self-control is paramount.

-In our emotions, without self-control, anger can lead us to hurtful words and actions that damage relationships.

-In our habits, lack of self-control can lead to addictions and destructive behaviors that harm our bodies, minds, and spirits.

-In our decisions, impulsive choices can lead to regrettable consequences that echo for years to come.

-Yet, there is hope. Just as a city can rebuild its walls to fortify itself, we too can build and strengthen our self-control. Self-control is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be cultivated through conscious effort and practice.

-In the New Testament, we find a powerful example of self-control in the life of Jesus. During his time of fasting in the wilderness, he faced temptations from the adversary.

-Despite hunger and discomfort, Jesus exercised self-control by resisting the temptations. His example reminds us that self-control is not about denying ourselves for the sake of it, but about aligning our actions with Gods purpose and values.

-So, how can we practically apply the wisdom of Proverbs 25:28 to our lives? First, we must recognize our vulnerabilities. Just as a city must identify its weak points, we should acknowledge the areas in which we struggle with self-control. This could be anything from our speech and anger to our habits and desires.

-Secondly, let us seek guidance and support. Just as a city might call upon skilled builders to erect its walls, we can turn to our faith, mentors, and community to help us strengthen our self-control. Prayer and seeking counsel can provide the tools and strength we need to fortify our inner defenses.

-Lastly, we must practice self-discipline consistently. Like a city maintaining its walls, self-control requires ongoing effort. It involves making conscious choices that align with our values, even when faced with temptations.

-the wisdom of Proverbs 25:28 urges us to value and nurture our self-control. By doing so, we protect ourselves from the chaos that comes from unchecked desires and impulses.

-Just as a fortified city stands strong against external threats, a person with self-control stands firm against the storms of life, guided by wisdom, integrity, and purpose. This proverb is timeless advice and build the walls of self-control within ourselves, so that we may walk the path of righteousness and live lives of purpose and fulfillment.

Lets move in t0 our final section as we look at what

Pursuing Self-Control Section:

-self-control, a virtue that is not only commanded by God but is also a powerful way to align our lives with His perfect will.

-As we navigate the challenges of our world, cultivating self-control is essential, but how can we actively pursue it? Let's delve into some practical steps that can guide us in this journey:

Prayer and Dependence on God:

-Begin with acknowledging our dependence on God. In our own strength, self-control may seem impossible, but with God, all things are possible.

-Dedicate time in prayer, seeking God's guidance, and asking for the Holy Spirit to help us develop self-control. Trust that God's grace and strength will empower us in this pursuit.

Renewing Our Minds:

- Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

-We need to fill our minds with God's Word, which is a powerful tool in reshaping our desires and thought patterns. When we meditate on scripture and allow its truth to permeate our hearts, it empowers us to make godly choices and exercise self-control.

Taking captive our thoughts:

-Read 2 Corinthians 10:1-5

-when thoughts enter our minds, we have two choices: we can entertain them which then gives life to them and leads us down a destructive path of self indulgence.

-Or we can take them captive, imprison them, and execute them, lest they carry us somewhere wicked and evil.

-Our actions take place only after the thought had occured and we gave life to it instead of taking it captive.

Identify Triggers and Weaknesses:

-Self-awareness is crucial in pursuing self-control. Recognize the situations, environments, or emotions that often lead to a lack of self-control.

-By identifying our triggers, we can create strategies to manage them better and make wiser choices in challenging circumstances.

Accountability:

-Share your journey towards self-control with a trusted friend or mentor.

-Accountability provides support, encouragement, and a sense of responsibility to stay true to our commitment. Having someone who can offer guidance and pray with us during difficult times is immensely valuable.

Practice Delayed Gratification:

-One of the most effective ways to develop self-control is by practicing delayed gratification. It's the ability to say "no" to immediate desires in favor of a greater, long-term goal. Whether it's managing our finances, resisting unhealthy habits, or making disciplined choices, learning to delay gratification strengthens our self-control muscle.

Celebrate Small Victories:

-Recognize and celebrate moments when you exercise self-control. These victories, no matter how small, are significant steps in your journey. They encourage us to keep pressing forward, even when the path seems challenging.

In conclusion, pursuing self-control requires intentionality, dependence on God, self-awareness, accountability, and consistent effort. Let's remember that this pursuit is not about perfection but progress. Each step we take, with God's help, brings us closer to a life that honors Him, a life that reflects the character of Christ, and a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.