Good News... Bad News

Good News ... Bad News

Good News:—You baptized seven people today in the river. - Bad News: —You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: —The Women’s Ministry voted to send you a get-well card. - Bad News:—The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: —The Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. - Bad News: —They liked it so much, they also decided to find somebody capable of doing the job.

Good News:—You finally found a choir director who does things exactly the same way you do. - Bad News:—The choir walked out.

Good News:—Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons. - Bad News:—Mrs. Jones is also wild about the “Gong Show,” “Beavis and Butthead” and “Texas Chain Saw Massacre.”

Good News:—Your women’s softball team finally won a game. - Bad News:—They beat your men’s softball team.

Good News:—The church finally voted to add more church parking. - Bad News:—They are going to blacktop your front lawn.

Good News:—Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land. - Bad News:—They are waiting until the next war.

Good News:—Your biggest critic just left your church. - Bad News:—He has been appointed the Head of your denomination.