How to share your faith without being a Jerk

Intro

Good morning Friends! My name is Clint, thanks for being here today. It’s so good to see you in person, thanks for tuning in online. Today we are going to be talking about sharing our faith with other people. Already some of you are nervous.

I get it, sharing our faith with others is a touchy subject. We don’t want to push people away, we don’t want to say the wrong thing or be that person. Some of us are still trying to figure this whole thing out and we wonder what we would even share!

Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of harmful evangelism. You’ve been yelled at, called names. You’ve had the gospel, which is supposed to be the good news about Jesus, weaponized. We’ve seen and read about the harms that forced evangelism has caused. Crusades, boarding schools, terrible late night tv programs.

Well, let me start with a quick story. Long, long ago, in a far off land there was a man named Sammy. And Sammy came to know and love Jesus. As the years want by, Sammy felt the Holy Spirit lead him to a small remote town on the other side of the world that was way too cold.

Now Sammy loved God, and he wanted to find someone to share everything he knew about Jesus with. So he started praying, asking God to bring someone to him who was ready to learn about God.

Not long after, Sammy was out to dinner with his wife. They were eating at the third best Italian restaurant in town, and they had a young, charismatic, highly intelligent and good looking waiter. Sammy invited this young man to come to church, and within a few weeks the young waiter met the Holy Spirit in a powerful way, submitted his life to Jesus, and grew up to have an okay mustache.

That’s me!!! I’m here because someone invited me to church, took me under their wing, and shared their faith with me. That casual invite changed my life. And I think, if we lean into being outward focused, we will get to see Jesus transform the lives of people around us.

So today we are going to talk about how we can live outward focused lives, how we can share our faith, without being a jerk. We are going to look at the internal activities we engage in and see how they spill out into the external things like sharing our faith.

Let me pray for us, and then we are going to dive into Colossian 4:2-6

Internal

Devoted to Prayer

Colossians 4:2-6 “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Paul starts out by telling us to devote ourselves to prayer. The word devote here means to be busily engaged in. Are we busily engaged in prayer? I know that I am busily engaged in lots of stuff; rasing my kinds, work, school soon, hobbies, I’ve got so many hobbies.

What’s the thing that your engaged in? One of the main points of the book of Colossians is that we have Jesus at the Center of our lives. Are we devoted to spending time with him in prayer? And keep in mind my little talk today isn’t a try harder message, please don’t hear me say “oh you sinner, oh you of little prayer, God is disappointed in you because you don’t pray enough!”

What I’m saying is that if we don’t devout ourselves to prayer, we are missing out. We are missing out on spending time with the loving Jesus, missing out on learning to hear his voice, on learning how to feel his presence. We are missing out on the new life that Jesus has for us. Devoting ourselves to prayer, doing the internal work, helps us to the external work. When we devout ourselves to prayer, our internal life spills into our external life.

I think of it like this. You ever go for a long period of time without working out and then, for some reason, all of a sudden you have to do something physical? You help a friend move, you’ve got to chase a kid, it’s the first day of basketball practice, or, God forbid, the elevator is out of order and you have to take the stair...

Carrying a piano up a flight of stairs is hard if you haven’t trained for it! Sharing our faith can be difficult if we are spiritually winded, if we haven’t done the internal work. The secret work, personal work.

This is what Sammy did! He spent time in prayer, he worked on his own internal transformation. When I met him all those years ago I could tell there was something different about him. I was drawn to the Holy Spirit in him, the same Spirit that oozed out of him when he invited me to church.

How are we doing with our prayer lives? This isn't a shame or guilt thing, we need to know where we are so that we can get where we want to be. Are we really great at the “Oh dear God I am in trouble and need your help” prayers, but maybe not so great at a daily quite time?

Or maybe its the opposite for you, maybe you have amazing quite times, but then in the moment, you forget that Jesus, the King of King, and Lord of Lords, holder of all the power and resources, is waiting to help you, and you buckle down and just try to grind it out by yourself.

Friends who are getting ready to go back to school, I’ve got a challenge for you. I bet if you talk to God before school, and then you check in and say a prayer before the start of each class, I bet you will find your day goes better. I bet you will have more fun, be less stress, and you will be able to be more kind to your classmates.

Confession time, sometimes I treat prayer like a check-the-box thing. I know that as a follow of Jesus I should pray, so I do, but I’m not “Busily Engaged” in it.

I read this CS Lewis Quote when I was looking for smart things to say in this message, and it slapped me right in the face.

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians & Colossians A. Communication: Sharing Our Most with God (v. 2)

No one in his senses, if he has any power of ordering his own day, would reserve his chief prayers for bedtime—obviously the worst possible hour for any action which needs concentration.… My own plan, when hard pressed, is to seize any time, and place, however unsuitable, in preference to the last waking moment.… The body ought to pray as well as the head

I want to be like this. I want prayer to see prayer like this, something I get to do instead of something I have to do. So, how to we press in, well..Paul names a few things that we can pray about to help us get started.

Watchful

He says when we pray we need to be watchful and thankful. Watchful means we need to be alert. Prayer is a dynamic thing, it’s a back and forth, it’s not just us talking to God, giving him our Christmas lists. I remember as a kid hearing my sister praying for a pony, and while it’s good to bring our needs before God, we also need to create space to listen for God’s voice, and God will tell us things. Good things, encouraging things, hard things, challenging things.

I’m sure John, our Interim Senior Pastor stole this quote from somewhere, but he was the first one that I heard say it, so I’m going to attribute it to that smart smart man. John said “If when you pray all you hear is what you want to hear, you are probably praying to yourself”

Oooof. Jesus is bringing us into this new life, and he does it through prayer. He speaks good things to us, and things that will challenge us to grow. The internal fuels the external.

And when we begin to pivot outwards, when we enter into prayer and become watchful, God will speak things to us for others. Are you paying attention to that? If, when you are spending time with the Lord, you just can’t stop thinking about a certain person, or a certain place, maybe, just maybe, God is inviting you into something. Are we being Watchful, are we being alert to what God is doing not only in us, but also in the room.

Alright, first super practical tip to sharing your faith without being a jerk. Begin to practice prayer and watchfulness every-time you enter a room with other people.

You walk into a room, take a breath, connect with the spirit of God, and ask “Lord, where are you working in this room” and then be watchful, be alert. God will begin to show you things. You will see the couple of old friends laughing in the coffee shop and feel the Lord’s joy over their friendship. The Holy Spirit will point out the Barista that is stressed and has something heavy on his mind. You will look at the guy sitting by himself in the corner, and your heart will break as God pour’s his compassion into your very bones.

Devote yourself to prayer, be watchful, internal work. One last internal things before we look at the external.

Thanksgiving

The verse says when we pray, we are to be thankful. I’m not going to spend a ton of time on this one, John talked a few weeks ago about being thankful, but I do want to point out how important it is to practice gratitude. Gratitude takes the focus off of us and puts it back on the Lord.

Example time! If you were here a few weeks ago when I spoke I talked about my cold war with my neighbor. Well that resolved and we are friends. Now I’m at war with the neighborhood raccoons. They hit my garbage can a couple of times a week. Only my can. Nobody else on the block, just me. I’m being targeted, and most days, I’m not very grateful for it! You ever have those moments where you’ve got to solve a problem that you shouldn’t have to. Or maybe something bad happens to you because of someone else’s mistake.

When we practice gratitude in those moments, it helps us get to Jesus. This isn’t the power of positive thinking, or a false joy thing. It’s like this, you see the garbage on the ground, and you grab the first thing you can think to be grateful for.....Well at least there are no diapers in this can.... and then you take it a layer deeper...... I’m thankful that I’m privileged enough to my own yard.....and than deeper......I’m thankful for creation.......and you go deeper and deeper until you are praying, and you’ll end up praying something like....

Col 1:12-14 “and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

Gratitude bring us into the presence of God, right to the feet of Jesus. It reminds us that God loved us so much, that he bought our lives on the cross. When you hold on to that, our troubles seem, as Paul puts it, light and momentary.

When we practice gratitude we end up experience Jesus transforming love. What kind of love dies on the cross for us. And when we we do that internal work of recognizing that everything we have, even the breath in our lungs is a gift from God, that will spill over into how we treat people. Because, people, those we love, and those we don’t really get along with, are all loved by the Lord.

Let’s start practicing gratitude, because it is a form of worship, and it will transform the way we show up.

Open Door

So we devote ourselves to prayer, we are watchful and thankful, and then Paul tells us to pray for an open door for the message of the mystery of Christ.

We pray for an open door. Sharing our faith is spiritual work. Someone coming to know Jesus depends way more on the Holy Spirit than it does on us. And, at the same time, we have a part to play. Before we talk to people about God, we should talk to God about people. When we share our faith, it should come out of a genuine love and care for someone. It should be done humbly, it shouldn’t be forced. The best way that I know how to do this is by praying to God, asking the Holy Spirit to open those doors.

Sammy did this! He was praying for someone to share his faith with, someone he could disciple. And look at all the things that had to “happen” for us to meet. He got a gift card to my restaurant as a present. He came in on a night that I was working. He sat in my section. I was spiritually curious, and had started reading the bible and asking questions, and I was realizing a needed a community and person that I could talk to.

Some of these things might seem like a coincidence, more coincidences happen when we pray.

This is another super practical tip to living a more outward focused life. Start praying that the Holy Spirit would open doors. Pray generally, “Lord would you open doors at work, the gym, in my neighborhood” and then pray specifically for people. Who are the people that God has put on your heart? Can you devout yourself to praying that there would be a door for them to experience God’s love and his Grace. That they would get the opportunity to meet the Jesus who brings life, and hope, and healing.

Can you devout yourself to praying for this?

External

Clarity

Okay, so, we pray, we ask God for open doors. If we sense an open door, what do we share?! What do we say? I’ve heard many people over the years ask this question, or really, share this fear. “Clint, I’d like to share my Faith, but I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing and push people away?! What if I offend someone!!”

If you are asking those questions, good for you, you are a nice human, your not a jerk, and chances are if you share your faith, people won’t treat you like a jerk. And, sharing our faith does involve risk. We never really know what’s going to happen. Embrace it, this is the fun part of our faith. We get to step out, take a small risk, and then see the Holy Spirit work in powerful ways! But, getting back to the original question, what do we share?

In verse three Paul asks for prayer that he may be able to proclaim the gospel clearly as he should. What does that mean for us? Do we need to memorize a gospel presentation? Do we need to have a bunch of bible verses memorized. Do we need to carry around bible tracts? How do we tell people about Jesus!

Who is Jesus?

In Mark 13:11 Jesus says Mark 13:11 “Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.”

Don’t overthink it. Living an outward focused life means that we love and serve people in a way that brings glory to Christ, and when giving an opportunity, we trust that Jesus will give us the words to say. And these words, they will be, more than likely, rooted in who we know Jesus to be, our personal experience of him and our faith.

What is your experience of Jesus, Is he the Lord of your life? Do you make your decisions based on what he says is good, not on what we say is good.

Downstairs in Vineyard Kids we talk about being “Forever Friends” with Jesus. Is he your Forever Friend. Is he at the center transforming you.

Who is Jesus, is he someone you admire from a distance Do you believe what it says in Col 2:9 “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form,”

Is he your God, your savior?

Who are you

When we get clear on who Jesus is, we get clear on who we are. On the wall in our youth room we have written “Students become students of Jesus”. Is that who you are? What it says in the very next verse, Col 2:10 “and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. ..

That he lives in you, fueling your transformation, bringing you to life.

When we know who Jesus is, we know who we are. We prioritize our relationship with him, that transforms us into the people we were created to be, and then those people show up in our relationships with others.

So, stepping back, what do we share. We share the Jesus we know. We share our best friend, we share our savior. There is no magic formula. There is no “Say these words and have people instantly accept Jesus”. No, we experience transformation, and then we invite others into that transformation.

The mystery of Christ that Paul talks about, is this. God loves you, he loves you so much that he made away to draw close to you. That way is Jesus. He died for you, because he loves you. Jesus loves you, and wants to be there for you. This is for everyone, all we have to do is say yes, is let him love us. He has done the work, and he is waiting for you to want a relationship with him.

. As we experience more of our own relationship with God, we are better able to clearly share that with others.

And Paul says in verse five, as we begin to share, we need to share with Wisdom.

Wisdom (What is Loving)

Wisdom, we have to ask ourselves “what is loving right now?” For example, is it loving for me to stand in line at the grocery store, holding the cashier hostage, while I lay out for them the historical proof of the resurrection while their line gets longer and longer? No! We have to use wisdom in the way we act towards outsiders.

Pause right there. Thats the way that Paul phrases it, we need to use wisdom in the way we act towards outsiders. What he is not saying is that we need to act different towards people who aren’t going to church. That we need to fake being loving or genuine. No, that’s not what he is saying.

We need to be the same people, everywhere we go. We need to operate with integrity. That’s why the internal work is so important. We press into our own faith, we experience transformation, and it spills out into the way we act with everyone, including our friends that maybe don’t have a deep relationship with Jesus yet.

When sharing our faith comes from this spot of transformation, we share because we want to, not because we feel like to be a good Christian we have to. Let me give you two quick examples.

Number one, ask anybody who has ever worked as a server in a restaurant and they will tell you that one of the worst crowds is the Sunday after church crowd. Oh my goodness, Christian’s have a bad rap in the service industry. We stay to long at our tables, we feel make ridicules requests, we have no patients, and then we don’t tip. Or what’s worse, we tip those fake money bible tracts. When I talk about check the box evangelism, that’s what I mean. I’ll be jerk, but I “Shared the Gospel” so I can punch my evangelism ticket.

This thinking though, can be much more sneaky. “I donate to this charity that shares the gospel, so I’m doing my part and I don’t need to love and serve this marginalized group” Being outward focused isn’t about checking the box, it’s about opening ourselves up to the Holy Spirits lead, so that Jesus can bring folks to life.

Example Number two. There is a super famous magician named Penn Jillette, he’s half of the duo Penn and Teller. If you don’t know them, check them out. Also, if you don’t know them, you should really watch more magicians, cause slight of hand magic is incredible. Anyway, Penn is a huge Atheist. He has license plates that read "ATHEIST", "NOGOD" and "GODLESS”. He’s very vocal about his beliefs.

He has a video where he talks about this guy who came to one of his shows. The guy saw him the first night of the show, gave him some genuine compliments and then came back for the second night of the show. At the end of the night the guy walks up to him, compliments him again, and says he has a gift for him, and hands him a pocket bible. Inside the cover is written a nice note.

Now Penn says that he really respected this guy. This was a normal guy, who shared his faith humbly. He wasn’t a jerk, he wasn’t over the top or forceful. He was a normal guy, we had experienced the love of God, and he used wisdom to share that love with one of my most favorite magicians.

That man took a risk, he was open to where the Spirit was leading. When we press into our own transformation when we know who Jesus is, what the Holy Spirit has done in our lives, when we begin to pray for open doors, when we practice wisdom, we will be presented with opportunities where we get to invite people to become friends with Jesus.

This week, can we lean in just a little bit more ? Can we create space for prayer and ask God “God where do a need to grow?” and as we do that, can we be open to the externals? Can we say, “God, what are you doing in this room? Would you open a door? Lord, I’m here if you’d like to use me in this moment.”

Friends, the last thing I want to share with you today before we go and hangout as a group, because remember that we have our picnic today. The last thing is that being outward focused, this isn’t something you have to white-knuckle, buckle down and just try to get through it. God designed this to be fun!

Look at verse 6! Colossians 4:6 “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Full of grace, and seasoned with salt.

Salty Grace (Don’t be a jerk and have fun)

Salt is used to preserve what is good, and bring out the flavor. Salt makes food fun, it enhances the experience. Fries with salt are greater than fries without salt.

Our conversations are full of grace, and seasoned with Salt, or if you want my interpretation “Don’t be jerk, and have fun!” What’s fun for you? You like Taylor Swift, go to a Taylor Swift concert! You like playing board games, play board games. Whatever your thing is, do your things, just invite Jesus into the middle of it. Pray for the people you are hanging out with. Pray for God’s best for them. Pray for open doors. Have fun with people. Live your faith filled life, with people, and create space for the Holy Spirit to work.

I’ve been going to the same gym for years. I’ve gotten to know people at the gym. During my quite time, I will pray from my gym friends. And there have been a few occasions, when a gym friend has reached out to me and asked questions about faith.

Now lets be clear, I haven’t cornered them by the kettle bells and forced them to have a conversation. You love, you serve, you pray, and your are open, and the Holy Spirit empowers that! I wonder how he wants to empower you today!

Conclusion

Friends, this is where the rubber meets the road. This is where all the internal transformation fuels the external activity.

We put Jesus at the center, we set our hearts and minds on things above, and he shows up in powerful ways and gives us new life. That new life will overflow into our relationships. And sometimes those relationships get challenging. Sometimes when we begin to put wheels on our faith, when we are talking to folks about Jesus, when we are serving others, sometimes we realize that, maybe we aren’t as transformed as we could be. In those moments, we press back in and we experience more transformation, that then overflows into our everyday lives.

And as we do that, we see Jesus uses our transformed lives, to transform others. Sometimes in big ways, sometimes in small ways, and sometimes in unseen ways.

This is for everyone. Kindergarteners, this is for you. You don’t have to wait until you are an old man like me to have fun with Jesus. You can pray to him, you can talk to your friends about him, and you can be kind to folks, just like he was.

Grown ups, this is for you. The world can be unkind. We get to bring kindness into it. It starts with putting Jesus at the center, letting him do the internal transformation, but then we live our lives outward focused. We pray, we serve, we love, we share.

How are we doing? Where is the invite for you to live a Salty-Gracefilled life? How can you give yourself to prayer, and practice wisdom and love. Are we seeing opportunities as invites into Kingdom Work, or are we doing everything we can to turn a blind eye to them?

Friends, lets not just talk about it, lets put this stuff into practice, even more, because that’s where we experience new life, in ourselves and in those around us.

Ministry Time

Commitment to Prayer

Commitment to Love

Commitment to Risk

Commitment to Community