Parable - The Unforgiving Servent - Matthew 18:21-35

Kids Part

‌Ask a class member to make a paper airplane, or make one yourself.

‌Tape a coin, rock, or weight to one side of the airplane.

‌Stand on the same side of the room as the class members, and ask a class member to throw the airplane gently toward the other side of the room.

‌Next, pick up the airplane and remove the taped object. Have the class member throw the airplane again.

‌After the class member has done so a few times, put the airplane away, and ask the following questions:

‌How can just one small weight keep the plane from flying correctly?

‌Explain that taping a weight to the wing of a paper airplane is like holding a grudge. When we refuse to forgive others, we carry around a weight that keeps us from traveling the straight and narrow path our Father in Heaven wants for us.

‌It is important to forgive others so that we can enjoy the companionship of the Holy Spirit and grow spiritually.

‌Intro

‌We continue today our look into the Life of Christ during 2023. For each of our Upper Room services we have been looking specifically at the parables of Jesus. If you are new to Faith, our Upper Room services is when we remember Christ by taking communion. Remember we still have the all in one communion cups in the seats in front of you if you are still uncomfortable with the passing of the elements.

As we look into these parables we see that Jesus is teaching us a lesson from the stories that he tell.

This morning we will be looking at the story of the Unforgiving Servant, it can be found in Matthew 18 verses 21 through 35.

Let me pray as we get started.

It’s been said that Christians are very much like porcupines on a cold winter’s night. The cold drives them to huddle together to keep warm, but as soon as they get close to another they start jabbing each other with their spines and that forces them to move apart; thus they are forever coming together and moving apart in a kind of slow dance.

‌And I believe everyone has probably heard this quote before, “To dwell above with saints we love, Oh that will be glory. But to dwell below with saints we know, well, that’s another story”

‌Have you ever been hurt by anyone?

‌I know, it is a silly question. If you have lived very long, you have had someone who has hurt you. They have lied, they have disappointed you, or they have intentionally done things to hurt you.

‌We’ve all been hurt, so how does the Bible tell us we are supposed to handle that?

‌This morning, I want us to see an especially vital aspect of Kingdom living: the issue of forgiveness when wronged.

‌This is, quite possibly, one of the most difficult things you will be called to do as a believer.

‌We are going to be starting our look at forgiveness by surveying a passage for today in Matthew 18.

‌Jesus has been telling parables, which are earthly stories that illustrate a spiritual reality.

‌This morning’s story has three main characters: a king and two different servants.

‌From this story, we are going to see that you are called to forgive because you have been forgiven.

‌Let’s look at, starting with verse 21…

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

‌Peter was being generous here, for the traditional teaching of the Rabbi was that an offended person needed to forgive a brother only three times. So Peter says ok maybe not three, but how about 7 times?

Jesus responds in the next verse,

22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

‌Jesus’ response would have floored him, and the picture He outlines is crystal clear.

Jesus is using an exaggerated statement or claim that was not meant to be taken literally.

Its like when we say these phrases,

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”

“I told you a million times not to …!”

He was saying there is no limit to the number of times you are to forgive!

But what about times that the offence is really bad?! Well Jesus will get into that with his parable.

Lets read the rest of the passage for this morning.

23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

As we look into this parable this morning I want you to see two main truths.

1. We must forgive freely, even when it is costly.

2. We forgive because we have been forgiven.

‌God’s forgiveness forms the foundation for our forgiving others, so let’s see what this story shows us.

‌Let’s look at this in greater detail:

‌1) God forgives the most.

‌ a) Forgiveness Is Costly

‌For the one giving the forgiveness, forgiveness is very costly.

‌The master had called his servants together to settle his accounts with them.

‌Did you see just how deeply this servant had gotten into the hole? Look back at verse 24.

‌Let’s try to put some numbers to this. A talent was likely equal to 20 years of working.

Here goes some math so be ready.

A day’s work is $15, that’s $600 a week, times 52 weeks, $31,200 per year but we need to multiple that by 20, so that comes out to $624,000. But it’s also 10,000 talents so that bring his debt to $6.24 Billion so that is a huge number to even think about.

‌For some perspective, according to Forbes.com, there are only 448 people in the world worth 6 Billion. And I’m sorry to tell you that none of them attend Faith Fellowship Church.

‌In comparison, the other slave owed the first slave 100 denarii. A denarius is a day’s wage, so in today’s figures would have been about $1,500.

‌I want to be clear here, though: $1,500 isn’t an insignificant amount. The second slave certainly owed a lot of money to the first, but it was insignificant when you compare it to the amount of money the first owed their master.

‌The master forgave a greater debt than this man could have paid back in lifetime’s worth of work.

‌You and I have to understand that we owed a sin debt to God that we could never repay.

‌Romans 3:23

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,‌

No matter how good you think you are, you have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory.

‌Let’s think about what the Bible describes as sin. When you look at what is classified as sin in the Bible, you see that it is anything that displeases God or goes against his will.

‌The most obvious form of sin is doing bad things. However, it is also sin when we don’t do good things that we are supposed to do. James writes about that in James 4:17

17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

‌Not only that, but we find Jesus telling us that sin starts in the heart and mind, so our thoughts and intentions can be sinful as well, even if we don’t act on them!

‌When I look at sin that way, I see that my life is full of sin. I have sinned and I continue to sin, and yet God, in his mercy and his grace, offers forgiveness!

‌Isn’t this what God has done for us?

‌If you have come to Christ and trusted in his death, burial, and resurrection, then it is!

‌1 John 1:9

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ‌

And let me just add on verse 10

10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

‌How complete is that cleansing?

The servant in the parable did not have a deep experience of forgiveness and humility. He was simply glad to be “off the hook.” He had never really repented.

‌Colossians 2:13–14

13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

‌He erased our debt! It is gone; it is paid. If you have come to Christ, then God has completely forgiven everything you owed.

‌Well, but couldn’t it come back up again?

‌Psalm 103:12

as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.‌

‌Remember what David said about his position after God forgave him?

‌" How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit!"

‌As an aside maybe you are struggling with this reality this morning. Perhaps you, even as a believer, have sinned in such seemingly awful ways that you cannot imagine how God could love you and forgive you yet again.

‌This is an incredible promise, isn’t it?

‌Psalm 103:13

13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.‌

‌He is not pleased when you sin, yet remember, He is the God of Lost Things, and just like that Father, He runs to you and restores you when you return.

‌That’s because it is all about grace!

‌In light of God’s gracious forgiveness of us, how can we withhold forgiveness from anyone?

‌Again, we aren’t saying that what they did wasn’t wrong or that it didn’t hurt; instead, we are saying that our sin was so much greater, and yet God forgave us, so we must forgive others.

‌This is costly, but in light of all God has forgiven us, it is worth cost.

‌That doesn’t discount the reality of their sin against you. Remember, the second slave owed around $1,500 to the first.

Forgiveness was costly to Christ, but it will also be costly for you.

‌To understand the cost, we must understand what forgiveness is. By saying, “I forgive you,” you are saying:

‌I’ll not bring this matter up to you again;

‌I’ll not bring it up to others;

‌I’ll not bring it up to myself (i.e., dwell on it in my mind)”

‌When you choose to forgive, you are only taking the first step in the process. The length of time it takes to work through the entire process varies depending on the offense, but it looks something like this:

‌I forgive - I am making a conscious choice to forgive this person for the wrong they have committed.

‌I am forgiving - when it comes back up again, I turn my heart and my mind back to the choice I made. I don’t keep dwelling on it.

‌I have forgiven - In time, God can bring you to a place where you genuinely seek for a person’s best interests. You can pray for them to prosper and rejoice when they do.

‌What does it cost you?

‌The right to hold this over the other person’s head

‌Your ability to control the person and the situation.

‌Sometimes, your dignity as others question why in the world you would forgive that person

‌I will not lie to you—it is not easy to forgive, especially when there has been legitimate, deep hurt that you carry with you continually.

‌No matter what it costs you, always keep in perspective that the forgiveness Christ has given you was infinitely more costly to Him than the forgiveness you give to another.

Remember that your sin debt was in the billions, while the one offending you is so much less.

‌You have been greatly forgiven, so you must forgive greatly.

‌Also keep in mind that it is always worth the cost. Among other things, granting forgiveness releases you from bondage to bitterness.

Remember the paper airplanes, they wouldn’t fly right with the weight of the coin attached to them. But without the weight they could fly just how they were designed.

‌Not only does God forgive most, we also see that:

‌II) Forgiveness Is Given Freely

‌ a) God forgives freely.

‌Notice what happens in this story. The master grants forgiveness freely. He releases his demand on the man and his family.

‌In the same way, God freely forgave us.

‌What did you and I pay to God to earn our forgiveness?

‌Ephesians 2:8–9

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

‌You did nothing to earn or deserve God’s forgiveness. You couldn’t buy it, even if you wanted to.

‌No amount of good can undo the bad!

‌In the same way, in light of the huge volume of our forgiveness, we must also offer forgiveness freely to all.

‌‌Colossians 3:12–13

12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

‌‌There is no wiggle room in that statement, is there?

‌Here are some objections we give to that:

‌They don’t deserve forgiveness – As we just said, neither do we.

‌If I forgive them, I’m letting them off the hook – Remember: Letting the offender off of your hook does not mean they are off of God’s hook. Forgiveness involves transferring the prisoner over to the One who is able and responsible to mete out justice. It relieves us of the burden and responsibility to hold them in prison ourselves.

‌Romans 12:17-21

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

When you forgive, you are letting God take care of the offense. He is the just judge who can handle it, not you.

‌I know it sounds crazy, but will you believe God when He says that forgiving others is genuinely the best policy?

Will you be willing to trust Him enough to take care of setting things right?

‌Because that’s the last aspect of God’s forgiveness we see...

‌3) God calls us to forgive.

‌ III) Forgiveness is Necessary

‌Look in verses 32-35. Jesus implies that there is a forgiveness that will be withheld from us if we do not give forgiveness to others. How can that be if we have been forgiven?

‌I am not saying that you have to completely forgive everyone to earn salvation. Just like every other act of obedience, we are able to do these things because we have been saved, not to earn it.

‌It seems from this passage and others (such as the Lord’s Prayer) that if we are unwilling to forgive, God will not forgive us in this fatherly kind of way.

‌If you are unwilling to even take the first step in asking God to give you the strength to forgive, then you need to take a hard look at your life, because something is deeply wrong in your relationship with God.

We reveal the true condition of our hearts by the way we treat others. When our hearts are humble and repentant, we will gladly forgive our brothers. But where there is pride and a desire for revenge, there can be no true repentance; and this means God cannot forgive.

‌Not only does a lack of forgiveness keep us from experiencing the fullness of a relationship with God, it also isolates us from others.

‌The hurt we experienced festers in our souls, resulting in bitterness that keeps us from being able to enjoy life with others.

‌In Ephesians, we see that bitterness is one of the characteristics of the old way of life that we are to put off:

‌Ephesians 4:31

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Being in a state of unforgiveness is a dangerous place to be.

‌This is what happens—your bitterness doesn’t stay inside you. It affects your attitude towards everyone else because you are guarding that part of your heart from anybody else. You poison people with your words as you slander the one who hurt you.

‌That is why forgiveness is so necessary in the family of God. Not forgiving causes the church to be divided and devoured.

‌Conclusion

‌We must forgive freely, even when it is costly.

David Platt says this, “The Bible is not saying that it’s easy to forgive or that it’s natural to forgive; however, it’s Christian to forgive. In fact, the Christian has no other option. We forgive not because we have to, but because in love we are compelled to.”

Who have you not forgiven? If you have not given shown them the forgiveness God gave you, I want you to take some time today. Pray about this area in your life it will help you to work through your unforgiveness.

Pray something like this.

Merciful and gracious Father, forgive my unforgiving attitude toward those who have wronged me. As you have forgiven my debt of sin, help me to be merciful and forgiving toward other people. Amen.

‌Remember that forgiveness is just the first step. It will be a battle to fight through the thought patterns and habits that you have fallen in to, but the war against bitterness will not be won without first fighting the battle to forgive.

‌Maybe you have never experienced genuine forgiveness in your walk with Christ. You can today.

As I have already said today, everyone is a sinner. Your actions, thoughts all keep us apart from God. But God sent his son Jesus into the world. Jesus lived the perfect life that is needed to be in God’s presence. But he was killed by those he came to save. He died, it was the death we deserved because of our sins. The wages of sin is death. But three days later he rose from the dead. Hundreds of people saw him after the grave. He conquered death, and now we can live eternally with God. Because if we believe all I just said then the perfect life of Christ is given to us and we can enter in eternal life with God.

John 1:29

29 The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!

This is the gospel message, do you believe this? If you want to talk more about this please reach oput to us.

This table before us serves as a memorial for us to remember Christ. Jesus as he celebrated the Passover with his disciples taught about communion, the Lord’s Supper.

COMMUNION

Paul in his letter to the Corinthians writes these instructions.

23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

Pray for the Bread

25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

Pray for the Cup