Going Places Week 2- Challenge

WHAT? What are we talking about today?

I'm glad you're here today because throughout this series, we are Going Places when it comes to our friendships. As on any trip, there will be bumps along the road, like real friendships. This week we are exploring what to do during those ups and downs we experience in our friendships.

QUESTION | "What is your favorite road trip game?"

If you have been on a road trip or are stuck traveling for a long time in a bus or train, a good game can help pass the time.

INSTRUCTIONS: Ask the following question and allow a few students to respond.

What are some of your favorite road trip games? The thing that makes a good road trip game is that it needs to be challenging enough to keep you occupied but also fun. It can also get pretty competitive. We may even choose not to play because we prefer to keep the peace and not challenge others. But that means we sit out the fun, and what fun is that?

POLL | I Challenged A Friend

Friends know how to push each other for better or for worse. Good friends know that striving toward better sometimes includes tough or uncomfortable conversations.

Last week we started talking about going places in our friendships. This sounds fun in theory, but frequently, when we are on our way to good friendships, we get stuck in an in-between place either because of conflict, distance, or miscommunication. Friendships seem simple when things are fun, but it's not always fun when a friend challenges us on something we don't want to hear. The best kinds of friends help each other to be the best versions of themselves as they journey together.

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

SCRIPTURE | Matthew 14:22–33

Last week we looked at the moment when Jesus fed over 5,000 people, which was pretty wild. Through this story, Jesus showed us that friends don't miss an opportunity to care for one another. After they finished feeding the crowd, Jesus sent his friends ahead of him so he could spend time alone with God. Then this happened.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read or paraphrase

Matthew 14:22–33 NIV

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

There was so much happening that it was hard to wrap our heads around. Jesus' friends were in trouble, then suddenly, Jesus was walking on water. They thought he was a ghost, which would be my first thought if I saw someone walking on water. In the middle of this wildness, Jesus did something even stranger. He accepted a challenge from his friend, Peter. In order to prove it was really Jesus standing before them, Peter asked Jesus to allow him walk on water too. The moment Peter started to flounder, Jesus challenged him with a question.

It wasn't a mean or judgmental question, but an honest and direct one, meant to help Peter: "Why did you doubt?" There was a moment when Peter had all the faith to keep him above water, but when he thought about what was happening, he started to sink. I give Peter some grief when I read this story because he was doing something cool and then lost it. Then I remember that Peter bravely chose to get out of the boat in the first place. He let his guard down and met Jesus' challenge of friendship.

STORY | A Challenge That Helped Me

The word "challenge" can come across aggressively. You might think, "You want to challenge me? I'll see you after school then!" But a challenge doesn't always need to be hostile. It can be an invitation to grow. Through challenges, friends can help us be more like Jesus while growing our friendship.

Alex Miller workout story

Challenges can lead to frustration or become invitations to a breakthrough, as we saw with Peter and Jesus. At first, Peter challenged Jesus to prove his identity by displaying his powers. Jesus took the opportunity to grow closer to Peter and issued his own challenge for Peter to demonstrate his faith. Jesus is always looking for ways to grow closer to us. Jesus knew Peter could walk on water with his help, but did Peter know that? Even if he didn't before, he definitely knew after what transpired. These challenges were built from a level of trust in their friendship. They had already spent years being open and honest with one another.

Many days and trips together created small moments and opportunities for Jesus and Peter to trust one another. The moment Peter stepped out of the boat, their friendship continued to grow and deepen. Jesus didn't let Peter do it alone. He helped Peter meet the challenge. When we start to trust each other, we can be open to our friends calling us out into hard and scary things, especially if they bring us closer to Jesus. Peter followed and trusted his friendship with Jesus and ended up walking on water, an impossible achievement. When we accept a challenge from Jesus, we open ourselves up to a new and incredible life.

SCRIPTURE | Hebrews 10:24

The book of Hebrews is a letter written to a group of new Christians who were being punished for their beliefs. Some were even sent to prison. This suffering made some followers walk away from Jesus and abandon their faith. Like Peter, the church was in the middle of a storm. Their doubts and fears were making them sink beneath the waves. The author of the letter to this group of Christians inspired them to strengthen their community.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Hebrews 10:24 NIV

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,

We have the power to point others toward Jesus. This is the kind of friend we can be to others and the kind of friends we need around us. When we are challenged, we need friends and can be friends who spur others on to keep going, even when it's tough. This is not a call to create obstacles in your friendships, but rather encourage others toward love, good deeds, and closeness to Jesus when possible. When we challenge each other for these purposes, friendships can grow stronger. When it comes to bringing more love, goodness, and kindness into the world, friends aren't afraid to challenge each other.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

REFLECTION | Challenge Each Other With Love

Maybe you are hearing this talk of confrontation and you want to object. Maybe you're thinking, "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings," or "I don't want to get into a fight." Maybe there's another group of you out there thinking, "Oh, good! Now I have permission to tell all these people what's wrong with them." Both responses are understandable, but both will hinder an opportunity to help each other become more like Jesus. Let's look at a few ways we can learn to challenge our friends as Jesus did and invite them to be more like him.

INSTRUCTIONS: For this reflection, you'll need a whiteboard or large easel pad and markers to write with. Spend time dialoguing with students about the action steps below. As you go through each point, pause and ask them to reflect and suggest tangible ways they can challenge each other. Help steer the conversation away from specifics or gossip. Keep it supportive and helpful.

CHOOSE TO CARE:

When you challenge a friend, it needs to come from a place of genuine care for them. Consider if you're challenging them to prove you're right about something or want them to be just like you. What can you say that will let them know you're hoping to encourage them to be like Jesus? What can you do to check your own motives?

BE HONEST:

When Peter started to sink, Jesus asked him a direct question in order to be understood and challenge him. When you challenge friends, what are some ways that you can care and have empathy for their situation? How can you be clear that you're not judging their choices, but have genuine concerns about the way they are loving others and themselves?

DON'T STAY SILENT:

We may choose to stay silent in order to keep the peace and not rock any boats. If a friend isn't treating others or themselves kindly and we don't say anything, who will? We can take our important role as friends seriously when we care for those around us. Challenge those close to you toward love and kindness. It may cause momentary frustration or hurt, but that may be the only way they notice the things they're doing. How can you challenge a friend toward generosity this week?

TALK WITH, NOT ABOUT:

When you notice that you may need to say something in a friendship, be careful that you don't spread your concerns to others before you tell your friend. We can easily be too worried to have a face-to-face conversation, so we share our feelings with others instead, which can lead to gossip. Make a plan to kindly and directly talk with your friend about your concerns. How can you avoid talking behind someone's back? What do you think is a good timeline between noticing a problem and bringing it up to someone? People who follow Jesus are encouraged to encourage others in love and kindness. But we need to demonstrate this lifestyle before we expect those around us to accept these challenges. Remember to take these steps to heart before asking them of someone else. Are you caring for others, being honest, willing to talk with others, and not gossiping about them? As you challenge your friends, maintain compassion and empathy for yourself and others.

RESPONSE | A Challenging Challenge

INSTRUCTIONS: For this reflection, bring handouts from Week 2 and pens for each student. Guide students through the four questions. Consider playing some music while students respond.

We can all use a challenge every now and then. No one has all the answers or does everything right all the time. Be open to hearing how you make others feel and how you might encourage others toward thoughtfulness and care. In the same way that Jesus and Peter felt comfortable in their friendship to ask questions and act in faith, we can build relationships of trust and growth.

VIDEO | A Clip from Toy Story

The Disney classic Toy Story has a great story about friendship. Though they weren't going on an epic road trip, Woody and Buzz Lightyear went on an epic adventure next door to Sid's house.

INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, play this clip from 0:52–2:23 from Toy Story, in which Woody challenged Buzz because he cared for him and wanted him to be better. For more information on how to legally use copyrighted material for educational purposes, read this.

When Buzz needed him most, Woody saw an opportunity to challenge his friend. Woody was direct and clear but communicated in a way that showed he deeply cared for his friend, who invited him to consider a new perspective. Though Woody and Buzz are toys, we see how simple it can be to challenge our friends. We want them to grow, even if it takes a moment of courage from us to help them take that step of faith. Challenging someone isn't always about correcting or perfecting, as we see with Woody, Buzz, or Jesus and Peter. Sometimes challenging means showing your friend how you see them and who they were made to be. In the same way, when we encourage others to their best, we can reflect and see if we're also living out the best for ourselves. When we're in trustworthy and growing relationships, we can see

friends aren't afraid to challenge each other.