How to Protect Purity #1

2 Sam 11:1-5 “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house. And the woman conceived, and she sent and told David, “I am pregnant.””

Disclaimer - this is a sermon series on sex

the topic of sex disturbs prudes - and we aren’t prudes.

there is a whole book of the bible about sex

and if your kids are at the academy and have made it to the 8th grade, they’ve read it. and other stories too.

sex is a good gift from God to be enjoyed rightly - in marriage - between an man and a woman.

but we’ve had folks leave the church over sermons on sex

men’s night illustration. “I hope the teens didn’t hear that.” “I hope they did”

look - sex isn’t dirty - don’t turn it into a taboo

and since it’s in the Bible, we aren’t gonna skip it.

ANALOGY - SEX IS LIKE FIRE

Sex is a crucial part of human flourishing.

be fruitful and multiply - implies...

which means - there would be no advancing of the kingdom without it.

not only that - but there would be no Gospel without it, because the seed of the woman never would have culminated in the promised messiah, because there was no line.

sex has a lane - a purpose - like fire.

in a fireplace, fire is great.

but if a fire leaps out of a fireplace into the home, unrestrained, now we’ve got a problem.

and that’s what we’re going after today. keeping the fire in the fireplace.

use sex the way it ought to be used.

#1 - Retreat.

Retreat from what? FROM LUST - not from sex entirely.

we’re not taking celibacy vows over here - that’s demonic.

1 Tim 4:4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,

“this good thing could cause me to sin at some point, so therefore I will never participate in it or with it.”

that’s not Biblical.

that’s a spirit of fear.

2 Tim 1:7 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

that’s also adding to the law - and God curses those that do so, no blessings.

we need to grow up in our self control - self government - and not choose the immature route.

Learn to control ourselves, or else.

because guess what - you running away from the temptation doesn’t remove it. The sin is carried around with you.

monks illustration - 500 miles away from a woman - but in their writings guess what sin they’re still fighting with… lust.

to grow up into maturity in Christ means to grow up in self control. self government.

it means you’re learning how to control yourself. not to be guided every which way by your feelings. not to take the disney princess pill.

but the “celibacy” folks… the ones who run from sex altogether.

1 Tim 4:1-5 “Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.”

the abstinence only stuff - celibacy - no sex ever. That’s evil.

and Paul says it similarly about food here as well.

so to preach that about sex, or food, or wine… you’re adding to the law. And God says you’re cursed as a result. Teaching a doctrine of demons.

it’s like the Baptists and dancing. “dancing might lead to sex you guys, and we can’t have that.”

and this is why Christian weddings for the last hundred years were awful.

we’re working on that though, more to come.

Now, it’s not a sin to abstain from certain things all the time.

Paul recommends occasional fasts from food and sex.

There was also those that would take vows to abstain from wine.

But the problem shows up when you call it sinful. THATS actually the sinful part.

Here’s the point - God gives us great blessings, and he intends for us to use our self government in order to enjoy those blessings.

he intends for us to grow up. to mature.

in the same sense that we are taking dominion and learning to harness things like nuclear power for the good of mankind

we fight to control ourselves, use our self-government, and wield sex to the glory of God.

So when we talka bout retreating - we aren’t talkign about retreating from sex.

we’re talking about retreating from sexual temptaiton.

NOTICE THIS - SEXUAL TEMPTATION IS SO POWERFUL that we are instructed to not try and fight them - but run away from them

2 Tim 2:22 “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

Joseph - fled leaving his coat

This is a common rule of war - don’t fight a battle you’re definitely going to lose - get out of there. RUN

“But I’m not really dealing with sexual temptation...”

yeah you are. I’d bet you are at least.

this is the culture and the water we swim in - it’s everywhere - we’re just numb to it.

but, if you really think you aren’t:

1 Cor 10:12 “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.”

1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Bathsheba was on the roof bathing and David SAW her.

the word there is different. It’s not a target glance, it’s not a quick look and look away, he SAW her.

meaning he gazed, studied, inspected, and drew the images on his heart.

this same word is used for seeing and reading the scriptures.

this is like Eve with the forbidden fruit.

Gen 3:6 “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.”

Generally speaking this type of sin with men is in the eyes - for WOMEN it’s in the imagination.

social media scrolling, internet searching, “Oh, what’s that link about… I wonder if it has beautiful women? Strong men?”

David goes from viewing - to inquiring - he imports it into his heart - he meditates on it.

and therein lies the difference.

In other words - everyone will notice others.

that’s normal - that’s life - beautiful / strong / ruddy / confident folks exist. And it’s not sinful to notice those qualities about them.

but it’s when we do more than notice. it’s when your eyes, imaginiations, hearts, run free and ungoverned. Now you’re in trouble.

Self control - self government - take dominion of your eyes, your heart, your imaginations - however you want to say it.

Eccl 1:8 “All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.”

This is why a man wants to see his wife. Always. Forever. Until they’re dead.

it’s a good thing - but when it gets pointed the wrong way - now we’ve got a problem.

So beauty is good - strength is good - enjoy it. IN YOUR SPOUSE. and don’t panic if you notice it in the world - because it exists - rather, protect yourself from dwelling on it.

and if you need to - RETREAT

but how?

HOW do we retreat?

well, David shows us how NOT to do it.

He sees her, he examines, he meditates, he places it into his heart.

he indulges his curiosity.

he should have CONTORLLED his curiostiy

how? - briefly now, more time later:

He should have been working w/ the men. His days were idle. And that ain’t good.

He placed himself in a spot where his eyes could wander - women bathed on roofs then, apparently - and where’s David.

He’s already engaged in Polygamy, multiple wives, he isn’t governing his sexual appetite.

He wasn’t running - he thought he could handle it - and as a result he takes a pretty significant hit - and the whole kingdom as well.

Let’s flip it - MODESTY

If a man’s struggle is the eyes - then ladies - help them out.

dress in Biblically distinct ways.

Not advocating us to be weird - Amish or whatever. - but try to hear me.

A woman’s temptation in a lack of modesty is to be “wanted” - and that desire is to be satisfied in your husband and your God.

Gents - you’re a prince charming for one lady. Not others.

you may have presence and strength and charm and wit and confidence… and .... and....

but you need to carry yourself modestly too.

Don’t peacock around the single ladies, around other folks wives, self control.

turn that off - that’s for your wife.

CONCLUSION

We’ve all heard stories of marriages falling apart.

the enemy is too strong, the Lord has already told you, get out of there.

run - with the eyes, mind, feet, whatever you gotta do.

and escape with your life, to fight another day.

you want to know why so many pastors, churchmen, leaders, take this hit?

because they think “I’ve got this now… I’m mature… I...”

run.

maybe you’ve already fallen?

maybe you’ve got a spouse that has fallen?

well, confess. repent. forgive. and move on.

like Job - make a cov with your eyes - and move forward.

Trust the Gospel, believe in restoration, and move on.